words in movies
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Ross: So does-does Joey know youre moving?
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
Joey: All right, well finish your coffee; lets go.
Joey: To tape the game? You do this every time Ross, youre not gonna be on TV!
Joey: Oh, youre switching apartments?
Joey: But Rachel has an apartment.
Joey: She is?
Joey: I guess I didnt really think about it.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating pizza as Joey returns from the Knicks game.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, okay. I I ate way too much.
Joey: Ooh. (Notices the pizza, grabs a slice, and takes a bite.) So umm, I was talkin to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place.
Joey: I was kinda hoping youd stay.
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Joey: I could use a challenge! Its getting pretty easy.
Joey: I love living with you so much. I just wish things didnt have to change.
Joey: Yknow I blame Ross for this.
Joey: Im gonna miss you, youre the hottest roommate I ever had.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Rachel: But Joey the baby is going to be crying, its going to be loud.
Joey: Im loud!
Joey: Im up all night!
Joey: Hello!
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Rachel: Joey, are you sure?
Joey: Yeah! All rightLook, I know sometimes itll be hard, okay? But, itll also be really really great. Please Rachel! I-I-I really want you to stay.
Joey: Ohh!
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! Its so cute!
Joey: I know! I found it on the street.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: Ew.
Joey: Ooh! Ah! Okay! (Quickly drags the crib outside.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are toasting her staying put.]
Joey: Isnt that great?
Joey: Phonetically? (Looks confused)
Joey: (lifts Rachel up and moves her behind him so she can walk on) Hey, here you go.
Joey: (shaking his head as if to say: of course not!) No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks!
Joey: Ok.
Rachel: Ah! Well it was Joey reading Drake's lines in the dream...
Joey: Come on! you... (reaches out to touch the imaginary painting again)
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is drinking a gallon of orange juice as Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Joey: Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime theyre hungry or sleepy. Yknow, kids are tough. Good luck with that. (Walks away.)
Ross: Yeah? Joey really knows his art, huh?
Joey: Dont start doing that. You cant do that Rach, cause then youre gonna make me do that. (Starts to cry.) Oh, here we go! (Sits down next to her.)
JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.
(Joey walks in)
Joey: (to Charlie) You're ready?
Joey: Hey!
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Charlie: Yeah, let's go. (stands up and kisses Joey) (to Ross) Thanks Ross.
Joey: (aside, to Ross) Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up.
Joey: Oh hey Rach!
Joey: So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good.
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches]
Joey: What's the matter, Pheebs?
Joey: Maybe you could take Charlie shopping.
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, if my friend says its time to go, its time to go. (Starts to leave, but comes back for his cookies.)
Joey: Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... (he puts his fingers in position on the recorder)
Joey: (looking at the checkbook) Wow! Look at this! He wrote a check for 50,000 dollars to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design. (Monica is stunned) Oh, sorry, what do you think the good news is?
Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.
(Joey stares around dumbly looking for the "talking pigeon")
Joey: (to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Charlie on the couch. Rachel enters]
Joey: Bye.
Joey: Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah!
Joey: So you're ruling out surrogacy?
Joey: So, I don't have to learn what that means?
Chandler: (stopping Joey) ah-ha!
(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)
Joey: (talking to a pineapple in his hand) God, you're beautiful...why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do.
Phoebe: You like Joey?
Joey: Shh. Shh. Dont try to talk, well get you up to your room, well soak your feet, youll be okay.
Chandler: So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? (Gives Joey a little squeeze.)
Joey: Hello?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, in honor of their 35th wedding anniversary, I had a star named after them.
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Joey: No. no... eh... she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up?
Joey: No! No! I am not a sex addict!
Joey: Well, just wake him up!
Joey: Oh! How's it going?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is sitting on his bed and the phone rings]
(Ross drags Joey into the hall and slams the door)
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.
(Phoebe walks in wearing a fancy, revealing dress, and stands before Joey)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting on the sofa, eating a cookie.]
Joey: (sees Ross) Hey all right, Ross came as doody.
Joey: Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?!
Joey: Then don't go!
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Joey: Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?!
Rachel: Joey, its just a chair! Whats the big deal?
(Joey gives Phoebe a thumbs up. Phoebe walks out)
Joey: Yeah, I guess, but whats like heads and whats tails?
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
Joey: Mmh-mmh.
Joey: Barbados!
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm all packed and ready to go!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Joey: That... never happens...
Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist?
Joey: Yeah! How you doin'? Yeah alright!
Joey: Hey, hey! You said you're gonna wear a thong, where's the thong?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (smiling) Will you wear a thong?
Joey: You really should have been more clear about that!
Joey: No, why?
Joey: Oh man!
Joey: Wha...? You're gonna go now? I thought we could hang out?
Joey: I wasn't gonna swim, I was gonna dig a hole! (removes a small plastic spade used by children to play on the beach from his backpack)
Joey: Oh... you got yourself a very weird deal!
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
(Joey spots them and walks towards them)
Joey: No, eh, oh-oi, easy, it's not a hot dog!
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
Joey: Oh! Hey! Thank God you guys are here!
Phoebe: Not Joey.
Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave)
Joey: Hey guys!
Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.
Joey: Damnit!
Joey: Atta boy!
Joey: Hi! Im Dr. Drake Remoray and I have a few routine questions I need to ask you.
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Joey: A widower.
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Joey: No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Joey: I'm so bored! Stupid rain, we... we can't do anything.
[Scene: The hall, full of paleontologists. Rachel and Joey are walking around]