words in movies
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Ross: So does-does Joey know youre moving?
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
Joey: All right, well finish your coffee; lets go.
Joey: To tape the game? You do this every time Ross, youre not gonna be on TV!
Joey: Oh, youre switching apartments?
Joey: But Rachel has an apartment.
Joey: She is?
Joey: I guess I didnt really think about it.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating pizza as Joey returns from the Knicks game.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, okay. I I ate way too much.
Joey: Ooh. (Notices the pizza, grabs a slice, and takes a bite.) So umm, I was talkin to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place.
Joey: I was kinda hoping youd stay.
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Joey: I could use a challenge! Its getting pretty easy.
Joey: I love living with you so much. I just wish things didnt have to change.
Joey: Yknow I blame Ross for this.
Joey: Im gonna miss you, youre the hottest roommate I ever had.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Rachel: But Joey the baby is going to be crying, its going to be loud.
Joey: Im loud!
Joey: Im up all night!
Joey: Hello!
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Rachel: Joey, are you sure?
Joey: Yeah! All rightLook, I know sometimes itll be hard, okay? But, itll also be really really great. Please Rachel! I-I-I really want you to stay.
Joey: Ohh!
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! Its so cute!
Joey: I know! I found it on the street.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: Ew.
Joey: Ooh! Ah! Okay! (Quickly drags the crib outside.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are toasting her staying put.]
Joey: Isnt that great?
Joey: Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there�s still some food left on their place, okay, what�s the restaurant�s policy about people eatin� that?
Rachel: No! No Joey! U-N-I-sex.
Joey: All right, Im gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)
Joey: Pizza, heh, its not like I never had that before...ba dum bum cheshhh.
[Cut to Joey and Phoebe in the kitchen. Phoebe is watching Joey make a sandwich.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there having breakfast and Joey enters carrying a loaf of bread.]
Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? Im going to go over to Joeys.
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
JOEY: Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty.
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: What?
Joey: Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?
Joey: I don't know. But I can see through your sheet. (He looks out the window.) Yeah, yeah, that's her. But y'know what? Doesn't matter, I'm never gonna get to meet her anyway.
Monica: Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip.
(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)
Joey: Ohh, I love birds. (Monica leaves. Chandler shuts the door.)
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Joey: Hey!
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
JOEY: Look, it's a nice gesture, it is. But it just feels like--
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Joey: Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head!
Joey: Oh, dude Im so sorry!
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Joey: Hey, uhh, I need to talk to you.
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Chandler knocks on the front door. Joey answers the door.]
Chandler: (not quite sure where Joeys going and is a little worried) Okay
Joey: (Smiling) Okay.
Janine: Joey? Do you want me to put it all in your room?
Joey: And a couple of these little tiny boxes.
Joey: I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you.
Joey: Hello New York! (The woman bats his hand out of the way.)
Joey: Oh my God, is she going back to him?
(In frustration, Joey kicks the table, breaking it.)
Joey: Well maybe I love ya.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, why? Whats up?
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is talking to his students.]
Phoebe: Well, we cannot tell Joey about this. He's already flipping out about everything that's changing. This will push him over the edge.
Joey: How you got three women to marry you, Ill never know.
Joey and Ross: Hey!
[Joey and Ross enter.]
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Joey: Well, this has been great!
Joey: Uh, some of her friends, yeah.
Ross: (to Joey) Dude, we were good!
Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
Joey: (pause) For just you?
Joey: Hey Chandler. Come on in. Were knitting pot holders.
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
Joey: Maybe this should be more of a quiet game.
Joey: And, uhh, maybe the watering can there.
[Joey leaves]
Joey: (frustrated) Still not hot enough!
JOEY: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
[Joey and Ross make confused faces.]
[Cut back to Monica and Chandler telling Phoebe and Joey the story.]
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
[Joey rushes over.]
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: Uhm... ok... uhm... Well, yeah... You have got some nerve, coming back here. I can't believe you never called me.
[Scene: The Porsche, Joey is finishing up washing the car and is talking to a guy about the car.]
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Joey: You got it! Oh-oh! (He starts patting the burned spot, which just happens to be over her breast.)
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Joey: (happily) Really?
Joey: (snaps his fingers) We could climb Mt. Everest!
Joey: Hey! Who was up from 2 oclock this morning until 5 oclock this morning trying to get her back to sleep?
Joey: This is Vegas man! People will pay to see freaky stuff! Okay, how much would you pay to see this hand (Holds up his left hand) twice? Huh?
Joey: I like it.
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
Joey: Maybe, maybe we did a good thing, helping Ross get back on his feet!
Joey: Thanks. (The grip walks away.) (Reading the card.) Congratulations on your big break.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
Joey: No it isnt, I ate that.
(Joey throws a punch and just lightly taps her on the shoulder, Phoebe counters with a jab to the nose.)
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
(Joey enters)
Joey: Hey you guys.
Joey: I like her so much!
Joey: I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!
Joey: But hey, Ross, this place is available now!
[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Years with you.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Joey: Really?
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Phoebe: (To Joey) What?!
Joey: Uh-huh.
Joey: What do you mean?
Director: (To Joey) Okay, youre dancing with that girl over there.
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
Joey: No-no-no! No-no wait Rach, you know what would even be more fun? Telling them.