words in movies
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Ross: So does-does Joey know youre moving?
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
Joey: All right, well finish your coffee; lets go.
Joey: To tape the game? You do this every time Ross, youre not gonna be on TV!
Joey: Oh, youre switching apartments?
Joey: But Rachel has an apartment.
Joey: She is?
Joey: I guess I didnt really think about it.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating pizza as Joey returns from the Knicks game.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, okay. I I ate way too much.
Joey: Ooh. (Notices the pizza, grabs a slice, and takes a bite.) So umm, I was talkin to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place.
Joey: I was kinda hoping youd stay.
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Joey: I could use a challenge! Its getting pretty easy.
Joey: I love living with you so much. I just wish things didnt have to change.
Joey: Yknow I blame Ross for this.
Joey: Im gonna miss you, youre the hottest roommate I ever had.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Rachel: But Joey the baby is going to be crying, its going to be loud.
Joey: Im loud!
Joey: Im up all night!
Joey: Hello!
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Rachel: Joey, are you sure?
Joey: Yeah! All rightLook, I know sometimes itll be hard, okay? But, itll also be really really great. Please Rachel! I-I-I really want you to stay.
Joey: Ohh!
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! Its so cute!
Joey: I know! I found it on the street.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: Ew.
Joey: Ooh! Ah! Okay! (Quickly drags the crib outside.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are toasting her staying put.]
Joey: Isnt that great?
Joey: Boy I tell ya, this little talent came in handy before I could afford porn.
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
Joey: On...?
Joey: Oh man! I have to get those done too?!
Joey: Ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out!
Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...
Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous.
Joey: Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesnt get it?
Joey: Oh good...
Joey: Chandler Bing.
Joey: OK Thanks.(Joey touches the hot wax). I touched the stuff
Joey: Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here?
Joey: All right let's just do this.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey leaving girls' apartment, carrying lasagna.]
Joey: (dejected) Yeah, all right. (Thinks of something.) Ooh! (He quickly runs out before anyone can stop him.)
Joey: Oh-oh-oh, yeah! (He grabs some towels and takes them to him.) That's right, you take good care of those babies!
Ross, Joey and Chandler: Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma.
Joey: (sitting on the sofa in front of the tv) Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers! My God, I can already feel myself changing.
Joey: Hey, I need your help.
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Joey: What the hell am I supposed to do!
Joey: What, what.
Joey: (upset) Will the stable boy never get the princess??
Joey: Oh my God!
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Joey: Thank you so much.
Joey: Comb my eyelashes.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, they totally match! They look great! They look great! How you doing!
Ronni: Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
Joey: (pulls out a fork) All right, what are we havin? (Starts digging in.)
Phoebe: (entering with an aquarium covered by a towel) Hey, Joey, I got you another present. (She puts it on the counter)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Your eyebrows look weird.
Joey: Morning, roomie!
Joey: Ha, oh, of course.
Joey: No, hey, it's been great.
Joey: Wow! So, how are you?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Wow, really?
Joey: Well, actually it...
Joey: Ooh, names?
Joey: Sure, I know lots of girls.
Joey: Did-did it make you wanna walk around in your underwear?
(They clink glasses and take a drink. Ross likes it, Joey hates it. Then Ross sees Joey hating it, mimics he hates it as well.)
Joey: Why are they doing this?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: I know, I know. And when they moved back in together, I figured y'know, that's where things were headed.
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Joey: Glow-pop giggly jammer.
Joey: Ooh, that's a great plan!
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher!
Joey: All right! Who is he?
Joey: Oh my god, you're right!
Phoebe: Joey.
Joey: Well, okay, I'll - I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else.
Joey: What? I'm not allowed to know smart women?
Joey: She even reads for pleasure!
Joey: Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.
Joey: I uh, I just came by because I-I want to talk to you about something.
Joey: Ooh...I hear that's bad.
Joey: Arghhh! Double standards!
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
[Scene: Outside Room 816, Phoebe and Joey are approaching.]
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Joey: So what's it gonna be? (Monica whispers in Joey's ear. Ross gets up and waves arms frantically in protest)
Joey all nervous and looking down and fiddling with his ear: Oh.. My sister's raccoon.
Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!
Monica: Ross is really strong! Okay, hes the strongest out of all three of you! (Joey looks at her.) Except for Joey.
Joey: Hello?
Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
Joey: Emma? Hey! Hi!
Joey: Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus...
Lauren: (to Joey) Hey! So since were getting off early, do you want to go and paint mugs?
Monica (to Joey): Why the hell did you take her?
(Joey starts to leave.)
(Joey and Chandler enter with Emma.)
Joey: Because you two were having sex!
Joey: (stepping in and knocking the man over) Hey, if we know it can we have candy?!!
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
Joey: (BEAT) (Laughs.) You almost had me.
Joey: Hey, I gotta! Unless...
Joey: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
(Joey does the "plan-laugh.")
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
(Emma starts making noises, and Joey walks over to her playpen.)
Joey: Where?
Joey: Can you believe they're still not here?
JOEY: They can't kill me, I'm Francesca's long lost son.
Joey: Oh yeah, I still cant believe you havent seen Cujo. What is wrong with you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Uh-huh. Okay. You know what, Joey, I don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this.
Joey: Hey!
Monica: Hey Joey!
Joey & Monica: Hey!
Joey: I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now?