words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.]
Joey: (answering phone) Hello.
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
Joey: (answering phone) Hello.
Chandler: Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but Im (Joey hangs up the phone again.)
Joey: (answering phone) Stop callin!!
Joey: All right!
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey and Chandler are there getting ready for Thanksgiving.]
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
[Cut to later, the gang, minus Joey, is watching the Thanksgiving Day parade.]
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
Chandler: (entering) All right! Okay! I think I am making some progress with Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once! (Ross is pleased.) I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is repacking the furniture into boxes to return it.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Im sending back all this stuff that Chandler bought out of guilt.
Joey: No! Im putting that in my room.
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
Joey: Five years.
Joey: Hey! Dont do the crime if you cant do the time.
Ross: Joey, the guys your best friend.
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: What?
Joey: All right. But if you werent my best friend.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are sitting at a table and talking about Joey.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
(Joey turns around and sees them kissing.)
Joey: (Something in Italian.) (Storms out.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is packing as Chandler rushes in.]
Chandler: Hey! Im sorry! That(sees that Joey is about to leave) where are you going?
Joey: My folks.
Joey: I dont know. I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment.
Joey: Yeah, yknow at first I thought we could talk about this yknow, work it out, but uh, seeing you two together I dont think I
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Joey: Yeah! You did! And thats why Im leaving.
Joey: When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about how I let you down!
Joey: Yeah! But if wouldve know what kind of friend you were gonna turn out to be, I wouldnt have worried about it so much! See you around!
Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. (Joey looks intrigued) What?
Joey: Weve got a box. (Motions to a large wooden box next to him.)
Joey: (coming out of the bathroom) Whats twisted?
Joey: Ewwwww!! Ew! Ew! Ew!
Joey: Hes fine!
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Joey: Chandler?
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
Monica: And Joey.
Joey: Hey!
Tim: Hi, Joey.
Joey: Hes doin some thinkin!
[cut to later, Joey, Rachel, Ross, and Tim are watching the football game, and they all cheer loudly.]
Joey: You kissed my girlfriend!
Rachel: (Swears in Italian, its the same term used by Joey earlier and Joey nods his approval.)
Joey: That doesnt sound like thinking to me!
Joey: Yknow I dont think you should be talking at all in there! I think youve got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!
Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joeys got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
Joey: All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesnt mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise youre just an idiot in a box!
Joey: So are you gonna start taking this thing seriously?
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
Joey: Ill get it. (Its Kathy.)
Kathy: (sees its Joey) Oh.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Thats okay. Chandlers the one Im mad at.
Joey: In the box.
Phoebe: Hes just trying to show Joey how much he means to him.
Rachel: Joey, had reasons.
(She gets up and leaves, Chandler waves good-bye with one finger extended through the air hole. Ross glares at Joey.)
Joey: (starting to cry) Open the box!! (Runs over to do so.)
Joey: He can still catch her! Come on, get out of there! (He opens the box) Get out of there!
Joey: Yeah, were gonna be fine! Get out!
Joey: Yeah, you did some real good thinkin in there.
(Joey says something unintelligible and they hug.)
Joey: Now go! Cause you can still catch her! And Merry Christmas from youre secret Santa! (Chandler runs out and closes the door.)
Joey: All right, who got Chandler? Cause I uh, need to trade.
Joey: Uhh, thats not them. Im gonna go call the police.
Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!
Joey: Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! Theres a lot of theories that didnt pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry.
Joey: Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)
Joey: But its $2,000.
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
(When Rachel starts to look under the bed if Joey would fit under there, Chandler opens the door inbetween the rooms, grabs Joey by his shirt and drags him to his room, and closes the door again)
Joey: Hey, you're not Kip!
Joey: Just kiddin, Ill talk to them, you distract Rach.
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
Joey: Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl.
Joey: No-no! No! I mean it's gonna be all smelling like Monica!
Joey: Thats right! And what are you not gonna do?
Joey: Damnit Carl!
Joey: Thats us.
Joey: Thats right, $2,000.
Joey: Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here?
JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
Joey: Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.
Chandler: (To Joey) In a minute? Whats gonna happen in a minute?!
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it.
Joey: Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, well think of it like this, when youre 90
Joey: So are guys doing okay?
Joey: Why? (In Drakes voice.) Why cant the world stop turning, just for a moment? Just for us?
Joey: But why?! I shouldve won one and I really want it and she didnt even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Who cares?! You went behind my back! I would never do that to you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Monica: Yeah baby! (Phoebe and Joey nod.)
Joey: Oh, how bad is it?
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
Joey: (he goes out calling her) Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! (he gives up). Pooh.
Joey: Uhh, I dont believe in these crazy diets yknow, just everything in moderation.
Joey: Careful! Youre wasting good pastrami! (Gasps.) Oh my God! Im my dad!
Joey: Ah-ha!
Joey: When youre off the phone, do you wanna get a pizza?
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Ross: Hey Joey, how come our stuff isnt free?
[Scene: Monica and Joeys, Monica is cooking.]
Joey: Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what?
Monica: Soon! I-I just couldnt before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldnt do that to her, shes my best friend!
Phoebe: Yknow what Joey left on my pillow?
Joey: I know! (Shrugs his shoulders.)
Fat Joey: Whats my little chef got for me tonight?
[Cut to Joeys, hes on the phone.]
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Monica: Joey that is so sweet.
Joey: Ah whatever!
Joey: You couldnt do it?!
Monica: Joey! You didnt even know her!
(Joey sits down.)
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Rachel: Oh, Joey! Sorry!
JOEY: What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we?
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
Joey: I know.
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
Fat Joey: Here we go! Here we go! Here we go! (Groans and picks up a piece of food.) How you doin?
Joey: (grunting) Oh my How much do you weigh Ross?!
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
Joey: Here you go.
Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: So?
Joey: Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
Joey: Great! Roomie!
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Joey: All right, now you know that the ATM will only lets you take out 300 at a time, Ill take a check for the other hundred.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Well, where was I? (Takes a sip of the coffee.)
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Joey: Ooh! So close.
Joey: Good for you!
Joey: Thanks! I've been working out. Hey listen, is it obvious that I'm wearing six sweaters?
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, hows it going with her?
Joey: Thanks! (Looks at it.) Yeah, theres pulp in that. (Hands it back.)
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.]
Monica: No, Chandlers still in Phase One, and Joeys that thing you smell.
Joey: Huh.
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Joey: (pause) Give me $400!
Joey: Not anymore. So anyway, how do you want to pay me?