words in movies
Rachel: Yknow who doesnt even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
Joshua: Hey, heres an idea. Why dont uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later?
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
(She goes down the hall. Joshua goes to put the food away when his parents walk in.)
Joshua: Hi, Im Joshua.
Joshua: Oh, that-that would be great. So you didnt even get to Italy?
Joshua: Hi. (He has just returned.)
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Originally written by Betsy Bornes Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Joshua: Uhh, yeah, I think Im going to take-off too.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Joshua: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
Joshua: Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife
Joshua: What do you think?
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Joshua: Youre into hardcore S&M right?
Joshua: Gloves?
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: All right, thank you so much for all your help.
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: Also large?
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: Joshua.
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Joshua: Nice uh, costume.
Joshua: Hey!
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
Joshua: Why not?!
Joshua: Oh, no thanks.
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: Well, what was supposed to happen?
Joshua: So, this was uh, really fun.
Joshua: Okay uh, however
Joshua: Im sorry, I, I just need a little time.
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Joshua: But
Joshua: Because I-I like you.
Joshua: Need uh, need a little hand there.
Joshua: No, theyre-theyre all true.
Joshua: Yeah.
Joshua: But
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Rachel: Oh my gosh, Joshua!
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: Yeah, theyre out of town.
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: There you go.
Joshua: So, all right.
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Joshua: Uhh, Rachel, my parents
Joshua: Behind you?
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Joshua: (coming back in) Im sorry.
Joshua: (sitting) You okay?
Joshua: Great!
Joshua: Do I?
Joshua: (entering) Hey, Rachel.
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Joshua: I gotta go.
Joshua: What?! (Gunther is listening in.)
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Joshua: I-I gotta say, I-I-I-Im not too sure I agree with that.
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.]
Joshua: (noticing her) Hey-whoa-hey-hey, what was that?
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
Joshua: Gloves. Brown, leather dress gloves.
Joshua: Thanks. (He starts to leave) Maybe Ill see in the spring, with the uh, yknow, for the uh, bathing suits.
Joshua: Whats up? Youre voice sounded all squeaky on the phone.
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Joshua: Umm, this may be a little weird, but I-I-I got a date here.
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
(Mr. Waltham admires Joshuas butt as he leaves.)
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)