words in movies
Rachel: Yknow who doesnt even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua.
Joshua: Oh, that-that would be great. So you didnt even get to Italy?
Joshua: Hi. (He has just returned.)
Originally written by Betsy Bornes Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Joshua: Uhh, yeah, I think Im going to take-off too.
Joshua: Hi, Im Joshua.
Joshua: Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Joshua: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
Joshua: What do you think?
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: All right, thank you so much for all your help.
Joshua: Also large?
Joshua: Gloves?
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Joshua: Youre into hardcore S&M right?
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: Joshua.
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
Joshua: Why not?!
Joshua: Oh, no thanks.
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: Well, what was supposed to happen?
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Joshua: Nice uh, costume.
Joshua: Hey!
Joshua: But
Joshua: Because I-I like you.
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: So, this was uh, really fun.
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Joshua: Need uh, need a little hand there.
Joshua: Okay uh, however
Joshua: Im sorry, I, I just need a little time.
Joshua: No, theyre-theyre all true.
Joshua: Yeah.
Joshua: But
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Rachel: Oh my gosh, Joshua!
Joshua: Yeah, theyre out of town.
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: Behind you?
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Joshua: So, all right.
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: There you go.
Joshua: Uhh, Rachel, my parents
Joshua: (coming back in) Im sorry.
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Joshua: (sitting) You okay?
Joshua: Great!
Joshua: Do I?
Joshua: (entering) Hey, Rachel.
Joshua: I gotta go.
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Joshua: What?! (Gunther is listening in.)
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Joshua: (noticing her) Hey-whoa-hey-hey, what was that?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.]
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
Joshua: I-I gotta say, I-I-I-Im not too sure I agree with that.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
Joshua: Gloves. Brown, leather dress gloves.
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Joshua: Whats up? Youre voice sounded all squeaky on the phone.
Joshua: Umm, this may be a little weird, but I-I-I got a date here.
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.
(Mr. Waltham admires Joshuas butt as he leaves.)
Joshua: Thanks. (He starts to leave) Maybe Ill see in the spring, with the uh, yknow, for the uh, bathing suits.
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Joshua: Yeah, it was my first date since the uh, since the divorce.
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.