words in movies
Rachel: Yknow who doesnt even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: Joshua.
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
Joshua: Why not?!
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
Joshua: Oh, no thanks.
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Joshua: Nice uh, costume.
Joshua: Hey!
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: So, this was uh, really fun.
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Joshua: Need uh, need a little hand there.
Joshua: Well, what was supposed to happen?
Joshua: But
Joshua: Because I-I like you.
Joshua: Okay uh, however
Joshua: Im sorry, I, I just need a little time.
Joshua: Yeah.
Joshua: But
Joshua: No, theyre-theyre all true.
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Oh my gosh, Joshua!
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: Behind you?
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Joshua: So, all right.
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Joshua: Yeah, theyre out of town.
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Joshua: Uhh, Rachel, my parents
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: There you go.
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Joshua: (coming back in) Im sorry.
Joshua: (sitting) You okay?
Joshua: Great!
Joshua: Do I?
Joshua: (entering) Hey, Rachel.
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Joshua: I gotta go.
Joshua: What?! (Gunther is listening in.)
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Joshua: (noticing her) Hey-whoa-hey-hey, what was that?
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Joshua: I-I gotta say, I-I-I-Im not too sure I agree with that.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.]
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Joshua: Gloves. Brown, leather dress gloves.
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Joshua: Whats up? Youre voice sounded all squeaky on the phone.
Joshua: Umm, this may be a little weird, but I-I-I got a date here.
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.
(Mr. Waltham admires Joshuas butt as he leaves.)
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Joshua: Thanks. (He starts to leave) Maybe Ill see in the spring, with the uh, yknow, for the uh, bathing suits.
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Joshua: Yeah, it was my first date since the uh, since the divorce.
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
Rachel: Okay, yknow what, yknow what? This playing hard to get thing is not working. Umm, hand-hand me those cherries. (Chandler does so.) Okay. Okay. (She does a little sexy walk over to where Joshua is standing.) Hi!
Joshua: Uhh, actually yknow what, I kindaI have to take off.
Joshua: Anyway, hopefully, Ill see you around sometime. (He goes out the door.)
Joshua: Huh. (She starts brushing the lint off and checking him out in the mirror.) Yeah?
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.
Joshua: Yeah-yeah, its this huge place, and-and its got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say?
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Joshua: Its this way? Sorry. (He walks past her and she again admires his butt.)
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
Joshua: Man, I could really flash somebody in this thing. (He goes to put his hands in his pockets.)
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Joshua: All those things I said about not being ready
Originally written by Michael Borkow, Mike Sikowitz & Jeffrey Astrof Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Joshua: Yknow, I wore that cashmere sweater on a date last night.
Joshua: Yeah, sure-sure, yeah, were-were-were-were-were clicking.
Chandler: Oh yeah? (He grabs the pad and starts reading it.) Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you (Pause) never go out of stylewhat did you throw away?
Rachel: Three people. Joshuas not gonna be there.