words in movies
Rachel: Yknow who doesnt even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
Joshua: Hey, heres an idea. Why dont uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later?
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
(She goes down the hall. Joshua goes to put the food away when his parents walk in.)
Joshua: Hi. (He has just returned.)
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Joshua: Oh, that-that would be great. So you didnt even get to Italy?
Joshua: Uhh, yeah, I think Im going to take-off too.
Originally written by Betsy Bornes Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Joshua: Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife
Joshua: Hi, Im Joshua.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: All right, thank you so much for all your help.
Joshua: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
Joshua: What do you think?
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Joshua: Gloves?
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Joshua: Youre into hardcore S&M right?
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: Also large?
Rachel: Joshua.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
Joshua: Why not?!
Joshua: Oh, no thanks.
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: Well, what was supposed to happen?
Joshua: Nice uh, costume.
Joshua: Hey!
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: So, this was uh, really fun.
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Joshua: Need uh, need a little hand there.
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Joshua: Okay uh, however
Joshua: Im sorry, I, I just need a little time.
Joshua: Yeah.
Joshua: But
Joshua: But
Joshua: Because I-I like you.
Joshua: No, theyre-theyre all true.
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Joshua: So, all right.
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Joshua: Yeah, theyre out of town.
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: There you go.
Rachel: Oh my gosh, Joshua!
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: Behind you?
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Joshua: Uhh, Rachel, my parents
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Joshua: I gotta go.
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Joshua: (coming back in) Im sorry.
Joshua: (sitting) You okay?
Joshua: Great!
Joshua: Do I?
Joshua: (entering) Hey, Rachel.
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Joshua: What?! (Gunther is listening in.)
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
Joshua: I-I gotta say, I-I-I-Im not too sure I agree with that.
Joshua: (noticing her) Hey-whoa-hey-hey, what was that?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.]
Joshua: Gloves. Brown, leather dress gloves.
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
Joshua: Umm, this may be a little weird, but I-I-I got a date here.
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Joshua: Whats up? Youre voice sounded all squeaky on the phone.
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
(Mr. Waltham admires Joshuas butt as he leaves.)
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Joshua: Thanks. (He starts to leave) Maybe Ill see in the spring, with the uh, yknow, for the uh, bathing suits.