words in movies
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.]
Joshua: (entering) Hey, Rachel.
Joshua: Whats up? Youre voice sounded all squeaky on the phone.
Joshua: Great!
Joshua: (sitting) You okay?
Joshua: Do I?
Joshua: Yeah, sure-sure, yeah, were-were-were-were-were clicking.
Joshua: I-I gotta say, I-I-I-Im not too sure I agree with that.
Joshua: What?! (Gunther is listening in.)
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua
Rachel: Three people. Joshuas not gonna be there.
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Joshua: I gotta go.
Rachel: Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! (Pause) (Comes back inside) Yeah, well, that oughta do it.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: Joshua.
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
Joshua: Why not?!
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
Joshua: Oh, no thanks.
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Joshua: Nice uh, costume.
Joshua: Hey!
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: So, this was uh, really fun.
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Joshua: Need uh, need a little hand there.
Joshua: Well, what was supposed to happen?
Joshua: But
Joshua: Because I-I like you.
Joshua: Okay uh, however
Joshua: Im sorry, I, I just need a little time.
Joshua: Yeah.
Joshua: But
Joshua: No, theyre-theyre all true.
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Oh my gosh, Joshua!
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: Behind you?
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Joshua: So, all right.
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Joshua: Yeah, theyre out of town.
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Joshua: Uhh, Rachel, my parents
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: There you go.
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Joshua: (coming back in) Im sorry.
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Rachel: Yknow who doesnt even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua.
Joshua: (noticing her) Hey-whoa-hey-hey, what was that?
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Joshua: Gloves. Brown, leather dress gloves.
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
Joshua: Umm, this may be a little weird, but I-I-I got a date here.
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
(Mr. Waltham admires Joshuas butt as he leaves.)
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Joshua: Thanks. (He starts to leave) Maybe Ill see in the spring, with the uh, yknow, for the uh, bathing suits.
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Joshua: Yeah, it was my first date since the uh, since the divorce.
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Joshua: Uhh, actually yknow what, I kindaI have to take off.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
Rachel: Okay, yknow what, yknow what? This playing hard to get thing is not working. Umm, hand-hand me those cherries. (Chandler does so.) Okay. Okay. (She does a little sexy walk over to where Joshua is standing.) Hi!
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.
Joshua: Anyway, hopefully, Ill see you around sometime. (He goes out the door.)
Joshua: Huh. (She starts brushing the lint off and checking him out in the mirror.) Yeah?
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Joshua: Yeah-yeah, its this huge place, and-and its got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say?
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Joshua: Its this way? Sorry. (He walks past her and she again admires his butt.)
Joshua: Man, I could really flash somebody in this thing. (He goes to put his hands in his pockets.)
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Joshua: All those things I said about not being ready
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Joshua: Yknow, I wore that cashmere sweater on a date last night.
Originally written by Michael Borkow, Mike Sikowitz & Jeffrey Astrof Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Chandler: Oh yeah? (He grabs the pad and starts reading it.) Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you (Pause) never go out of stylewhat did you throw away?
Joshua: I do. I do. I love it. In fact, I think Im gonna wear it home.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is preparing to slip Joshua the note.]
Joshua: Huh. Oh, boy! (Sits down next to her.) Uhh, I-I dont wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you.
Rachel: Hi, Im Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?
Joshua: They-they-they can smell fear.
(She crawls over to Joshua and kisses the back of his knee. He feels it and looks down, Rachel pretends shes knocking a bug off his leg.)
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Joshua: Kidding! (Rachel is relived) Im gonna get there early, but Im going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me.
Rachel: No-no, that wasnt me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
Joshua: No, no, no, shes nice but, yknow, it just it made me realize that Im just not, Im just not ready to be dating, yknow?
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?