words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, all but Chandler are there, Joey laughs for no apparent reason.]
Monica: Oh. (she laughs)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Joey: (Hes recorded his voice on the tape) Joeys your best friEnd. You want to make him a cheese sandwich everyday. (he laughs) And you also want to buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants.
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha Oh God! So so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my(Laughs.) By the way, you dont want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
Ross: (laughs) Move in with me.
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Monica: (laughs) Okay.
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God! Oh, thats funny, I cant believe I did that.
Phoebe: (laughs) All I could think of was yknow, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?"
Phoebe: (laughs) Thank you.
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
Monica: (laughs) Thats okay.
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Rachel: (laughs) I'm sorry, that's not funny.
Frank: (laughs) Not to me.
(She laughs.)
Emily: Oh, Liam. (Ross laughs and takes her back.)
Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
(Phoebe laughs.)
Phoebe: Okay. (She laughs harder.)
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
Dr. Leedbetter: (laughs) A sandwich?
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
(The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Dr. Leedbetter: (laughs) Oh, you know what?
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
Phoebe: (laughs) Please.
Alice: (laughs) No. No. No. (Sits down.) Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR.
(Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back.)
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)
Phoebe: Ohh, (laughs) umm, we kinda took a little detour on the way over here.
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Gary: (laughs, then suddenly serious) What's up?
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
Rachel: (Laughs) Oh, me too.
Kim: My late husband gave me that lighter. (Rachel laughs.) I'm not kidding.
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Rachel: (laughs) What?! Are you crazy?
Joey: (laughs) You're kidding right?
Rachel: (laughs) I cannot believe Ross is buying this!
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Rachel: Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Rachel: Whoa! (Laughs) Y'know what Katie? I gotta tell ya I-I-I-I think you are the one who is too much. (She punches Katie back.)
Pete: I know Im no John Bon Jovi, (Monica laughs) or someone who find attractive, Im just, I think, y'know, that you might end up feeling differently.
Chandler: Hey ladies! What are you in here for? (Laughs at his joke.)
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Woman No. 1: (laughs) No, I hate cats.
(Joey laughs nervously and goes to his bedroom.)
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...)
Jill: (laughs) Me too.
Rachel: Oh, slides. (Laughs.) So really nothing happened.
Joey: (laughs) I dont think so.
Ross: Oh, I know. (Laughs) Yknow, just-just talking about it is getting me kinda
Phoebe: I dont what your talking about. (Laughs nervously and continues to leaqve)
Rachel: (laughs) Oh yeah? Okay.
Rachel: (laughs) Wow! Umm, yknow, I-I would really love to, but I-I shouldnt.
Rachel: Awe! (Emma laughs) Oh my God! Looks, she’s a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push?
Monica: (laughs) You realize what you are dont you?
(Rachel laughs and Ross mocks her.)
Joey: Takes it out of you? (Laughs.)
Phoebe: (laughs harder) You make it so funny.
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
Chandler: (laughs) She was working on Valentines Day so were celebrating it tonight.
Phoebe: I know. (Laughs.)
Monica: (laughs sarcastically) Rachel is not going to pick your stupid guy.
Ross: Oh, I love that guy! (Laughs.)
Paul: (laughs then checking his watch) 1 minute 50 seconds.
Joey: (laughs) This is like the temporary robot, right?
Monica: Yeah I can! (Laughs) And dont think I dont, because I do! I mean all the time, you betcha! (Laughs.)
(He looks around and flashes her his badge and she laughs.)
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
Chandler: Im the ruptured spleen. (Laughs.)
Monica: (laughs) Thats right. My Mom doesnt have any faith in me! Oh, thats hilarious! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ross: Her date tipped me ten dollars. (Monica laughs)
(Chandler laughs, turns, and sees that Ross and Joey arent happy.)
Joey: (laughs) Yeah, Big Brother.
Monica: (laughs) Are you sure youre okay?
Richard: Oh. (Laughs.) Whew!
Rachel: Noo! (Laughs) Angels.
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Caitlin: (laughs) Great. I'll see you later!
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Ross: (with his mouth full) Just a second! (he fake laughs, but turns his head and starts to break down)
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Chandler: How can she be great if shes from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, at they all look at him) That joke wouldve killed in Albany.
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
Phoebe: Well, its a long story. Its kind of embarrassing. Lets just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. (The guy laughs.) How about you?
Chandler: (laughs) You said no right?