words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is cooking as Chandler looks on.
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
The Cooking Teacher: Your Fettuccini Alfredo looks a little dry, did you use all your cheese?
(No one can and Monica looks at Joey expectantly.)
Rachel: All right I know, I know how it looks Pheebs, but Im telling you
Ross: Come on! Come on! Here, okay-okay, you see this? (Points) This tiny thing that looks like a peanut?
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Chandler: Oh, I figured you guys would all be mad at me. So I got you some gifts that I found on the side of the road. (Looks into the bag.) Who wants the teddy bear with one leg?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
(He looks at Rachel and winks, she gives him the thumbs-up sign.)
Joey: This is embarrassing. (Looks it up.)
Frank Jr. (looks at the triplets): Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. (Strokes Leslie's hair, and she moves a little.) Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up!
[Ross looks at Joey coyly.]
Ross: Wow! It looks like we got a lot of good stuff.
Rachel: Tag? (He turns and looks at her.) Hi, who was that?
Phoebe: Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)
Rachel: Oh, I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now.
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Ross: Yeah? Wow! It looks really violent!
Phoebe: No ones here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit!
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
(Rachel turns and looks at Ross.)
Phoebe looks down: You are a terrific actor.
Rachel: Yeah well it looks great!
(The dog returns with a ball that looks exactly like the same one Joey has.)
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
(Monica smiles to cover her embarrassment, but Rachel sadly looks away...)
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Monica: (looks at it more closely) Oh that's an eye removal machine.
Ross: Then, uh, then we got dressed, and I-I... I walked her to the- (looks up, realises, and points) -the bus stop... I'm fine.
Monica: (angrily) That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! (Rachel looks over at Phoebe in resignation.) Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!
Joey: (He looks around the room) This isnt the right room, sorry folks. (leaves)
Joey: (watching) Yowsa! (Looks away.)
Joey: (looks in the window) Hes not really my type.
(Ross looks away, not bothering)
Phoebe: I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)
Phoebe: I know, I just want to bite his bottom lip. (Rachel looks at her) But I won't.
(Monica goes to the back and Joey looks at the girl)
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Ross looks down: No, that that is not what we're saying.
<Joey looks to Phoebe and she nods in agreement>
(Monica just looks at him, and Rachel wants to laugh)
Joey: Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still. (Phoebe runs to the window and gasps.)
Phoebe: (Looks around) It's alright. Look kiddo, I gotta go. Good luck with the career. You're gonna be huge.
(Chandler goes into the bathroom, closes the door, and then opens it again right away. Ross looks up and hands him the toilet paper Ross already packed.)
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, Monica would freak. (Doug looks at him.) But to hell with that bitch.
JOEY: Okay.� (pause.� He looks over her shoulder at the table with the wine.)� Whoa, whoa.� Why are there two glasses of wine out?
Joey: Uhm... (looks down) Yeah... this uhm... raccoon came in...
Joey: Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? (In a romantic voice) And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she...is... beautiful... (Rachel looks very moved) and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you (pauses, while looking at her with sentiment) but it was worth it just to be there looking at you.
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
(Chandler's cell phone rings.� He looks at it.)
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
(Phoebe looks under the couch)
Phoebe: Aw. (Phoebe gets a bad taste in her mouth when he looks away) Im justIm in a place in my life right now where I I
Jim: Yeah, (looks at his crotch) a Pretty Huge
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
(He continues to smile like an idiot, and she looks frightened.)
Chandler: Thanks. You wanna see what it looks like?
Chandler: Looks like Joey is doing allright with her.
(Ross and Chandler walk in, Joey looks disappointed)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
(Phoebe starts to leave, Rachel slowly follows, shocked about how good Bonnie looks now.)
(Monica hangs up, and Rachel looks at her phone.)
Monica: Ross is really strong! Okay, hes the strongest out of all three of you! (Joey looks at her.) Except for Joey.
(Monica looks at him.)
Monica: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while.
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Chandler: (awakens) Yeah! (Looks up and does The Face.)
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
Chandler: (looks around) Here just...take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
Chandler: Well I was I was exactly expecting company after (He looks at his watch.) 9:15.
Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about??
Rachel: Who (looks around)?
Phoebe: Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? (Looks around)
Rachel: (looks puzzled) How...how...?
Ross: uhu uhu, check this out. (Chandler sits down and looks at laptop screen)
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel.)
(Joey and Charlie enter. Ross looks at her)
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Joey: Phonetically? (Looks confused)
(Everyone looks at her)
Joey: So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good.
Rachel: (Looks ashamed) I try...
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Monica: What? (looks very shocked) Why?
Rachel: Yeah, I-I heard. (Pause, everyone looks at each other, waiting for Rachels reaction.) I think its great! (Hugs Ross.) Ohh, Im so happy for you!
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
(She crawls over to Joshua and kisses the back of his knee. He feels it and looks down, Rachel pretends shes knocking a bug off his leg.)
Ross: (looks) Oh yeah! You'rehey, you're right! Here's an affordable place, (reading ad) two bedroom, close to work, ooh, it's available in five weeks!
Rachel: ...I really don't... (looks around again)
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
(He looks at his bedroom door, but he can't remember the name of the girl.)
Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (Ross looks at her.) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.