words in movies
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
Ross: No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care but...at least she could have told me. You knowI...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if she wants to go out there kissing guys shebarely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah!
Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Ross: Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmentalPotluck dinner.
Joey: Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow right and the photographer said she thinks Ishould have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?
Joey: Ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out!
Monica: No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up!
Rachel: You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf...
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me
Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!Hey come with me!
Gavin: Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I thought you called in sick to avoid me.
Gavin: Do you have fever? Let me see. Hum...
Rachel: Oh he's dusting me with a fossil brush. He thought it would be funny.
Monica: What have you heard me sing?
Woman: You already hit on me an hour ago
Michelle: Why would he break up with me?
Michelle: All I ever wanted was just love him and have him love me back. I mean, am I so unlovable?
Joey: All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one soI don�t look stupid for my pictures.
Chandler: All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.
Monica: "Take me to the mansion in the sky-y". I am sorry, the song is over. Did you see me out there?
Monica: I can�t believe I did this. I can�t believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear thatone shouting �look at those tips�! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
Monica: Good? Didn�t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That�s is the best gift ever.
Michelle: Thank you so much for letting me do this. Public bathrooms freak me out, I can't even pee, let alone doanything else.
Michelle: It�s so amazing I met you the same day that Eric broke up with me, because it�s like you lose a boyfriend,you get a boyfriend.
Ross: Yeah, didn�t I mention that? Yeah, I mean, we haven�t being going out for too long, but rather there is thisamazing connection between us. I-I mean, in fact just before you came in she called me her boyfriend. I thought it wasa little too soon, but it was also, you know, it was kinda nice.
Monica: And they love me!
Monica: "Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen, tonight we'll put all other things aside. Give in thistime and show me some affection..."
Monica: Oh, who cares, they still love me! "I am so excited..."
Michelle: Ross, you didn�t tell me you were a doctor!
Michelle: You feel that too? Oh, I thought that was just me!
Rachel: Oh, that�s what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me?
Michelle: Well, call me!
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Joey: Uh me? Gay? No! No. No, but I have a number of close friends who are. (Chandler and Ross look at each other.)
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Charlie: (to Gunther) Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?
Chandler: Because you (Points to Joey) broke a chair and you (Points to Rachel) broke a chair! The only one around here that hasnt broke a chair, is me!
Mr. Geller: Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.
Written by: Doty Abrams Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Scenes Taken From Episodes Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips, guineapig, Ruth Curran, Josh Hodge, and Me.
Ross: I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe!
Chandler: I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. (She tries to whistle and blows little chunks of cheesecake out of her mouth.) How can you eat the cheesecake without me?!
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.
Ross: Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows Im talking about it. (Rachel starts to peek at the file) Dont-dont youWhWhaHey!!
Rachel: Oh, it is so unfair. It's like that time they promoted Sandra over me at work.
Larry: Maybe uh, Vunda could give me her number and I can ask her to dinner sometime.
Pete: Its time for me to conquer the physical world.
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
Monica: Ugh, I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass!
Chandler: Oh that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest.
Chandler: Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her!
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
Chandler: (with his arm all the way under the cushion, moving it around) This reminds me of a very specific part of the tape. (Chandler puts the tape in, and they all sit down) Okay, here we go.
Phoebe: Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week.
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go.
Monica: (lying down on the bed) Okay mister! Fertilize me!
Rachel: (thinks) Yknow, I dont-I dont know. Let me, let me check. (As she heads for her office, she stops glances over her should at Tag, looks into her office, and finds the folder on her desk.)
Monica: Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell mejust say, "I don't like your massages."
Phoebe: No! But it's the nicest kitchen, the refrigerator told me to have a great day.
Phoebe: (Mike now enters and stands behind Phoebe) Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong. No, he's not in like a sissy way. No, no, no... when he gets going, he can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave...
Ross: Let me finish, okay? She started kissing me and-and I didnt stop it. I guess I-I just wasnt thinking
Monica: I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me.
Monica: I eat by myself in the alley because everybody hates me.
Monica: I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.
Ross: (puzzled) Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! (to Phoebe) Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here!
PHOEBE: I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you know I'm i'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful.
Chandler: Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here?
Chandler: That's a good thing actually, because ah, he used to have me rehearse with him.
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. (Time lapse) Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...
Ross: At least tell me where you hid it.
Bandleader: Thank you very much! Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing!
Joey: (impatiently tapping Chandler on the shoulder) What about me?! You-you just said I could!
Chandler: Monica has a secret closet and she wont let me see whats in it.
Joey: (jumping up in a hole that he is digging, he is shoulder deep) Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! (Chandler and Monica jump up and go over to the hole.) Check this baby out, dug me a hole!
Joey: That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it?
Monica: All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.
Monica: And then Chandler was, was really sweet and he consoled me. And well we drank too much
Monica: Okay! Very funny! Somebody let me out please?! Come on, Im cold! (She spills something.) And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out! (the door opens)
Rachel: (knocking it down instead of catching it) That almost hit me in the face.
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh!
Joey: Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles. Hot nanny and me against the world. This is the kind of stuff great novels are made of.
Chandler: They are needy, they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking, and that scares me a little bit.
Monica: You gotta go home and get the earrings that you borrowed from me okay? Chandler wants me to wear them tonight.
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, I do that cause it makes me look taller.
Monica: No I'm not sure that it's the best way to hear everything. Someone get me a glass!
Ross: You should've seen the look on her face. I don't want Rachel to hate me! I don't know what to do.
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Rachel: Yeah, but he waited until the last minute! So if I said yes, he would know I had nothing better to do than wait around for an invitation to his stupid party. I said, "No!" Which puts me right back in the driver seat.
Chandler: Okay, Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss, she asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there, and I was sleeping and apparently, said yes.
Joey: That's right Ross, I can see you in your new apartment! And you can see me! Same as yesterday, (To Monica) same as the day before.
Joey: Really. And what do you mean you never have fun anymore? You have fun with me, remember that time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book?
Rachel: Hey! Joey, would you mind giving me and Ross a hand moving his couch?
Monica: I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off! I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do?
Chandler: Y'don't think that makes me seem a little...
Rachel: Oh wait! Yknow what? I cant, I cant look at it. I cant. Somebody else tell me, somebody tell me.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
RACH: [to Monica] Is that him again? Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighin' me down.
Rachel: Oh yes I do. I do. I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. And do you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. Thats why I stopped looking for Russell Crowe. Hell find me.
INTERVIEWER: Alright, lets see if you're as good in person as you are on paper. Make me a salad.
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Monica: Fair? Please dont even talk to me about fair! Fair wouldve been you wanting to marry me back then! Or fair wouldve been Chandler wanting to marry me now! Believe me, nothing about this is fair! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
Mona: Oh hey, thanks again for showing me your semi-precious stone collection. It was amazing! (She leaves.)
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Maybe uh, you you should come to me. Im a not, Im not wearing any bottoms.
Ross: Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
Rachel: Yeah, just give me a minute! (Thinking) Oh well, yes, I can think of one good thing.
Monica: Maybe he's bothering you so much because he likes you. It's like in first grade when Skippy Langwild always pushed me on the playground because he secretly had a crush on me?
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
MNCA: But I'm gonna be there... for the rest of my life. I mean, I can't break up with him. I'm the one who made him quit drinking. He's dull because of me.
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)
ROSS: You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me.
Joey: (sitting on the otherside of the counter from Chandler) Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre.
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Chandler: Are you okay? I'm so sorry, he wouldn't leave. He kept asking me about chicken.
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
Student: Look, I just saw my best friends brains smeared across the canvas, thats not gonna be me, not me.
Rachel: No...oh, I feel so stupid! Oh, I think about the other day with you guys and I was all "Oh, Paolo, he's so great, he makes me feel so..." Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed!
Ross: Oh so-so you weren't trying to entice me just now with your-your nakedness?
Chandler: Did you not hear me say, "Du-ude?!"
Chandler: Oh. Yknow, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasnt because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me cause, youre really hot! Is that okay?
Ross: Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
Phoebe: Yeah, thanks. And listen, can you do me a favor? Could you just umm, wake me up in a couple hours, yknow if you can.
Joey: Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special.
Precious: I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's going on here. I mean, are you guys getting back together or something?
Phoebe: So umm, Im gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me out?
Phoebe: Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys.
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.