words in movies
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
RICHARD: Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot.
TILLY: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
JOEY: They can't kill me, I'm Francesca's long lost son.
JOEY: How can they do this to me?
MONICA: Alright, before I tell you, uh, why don't you tell me how many women you've been with.
ROSS: Tell me about it. So what, what's your magic number?
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
MONICA: And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
MONICA: Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan.
DR. REMORE: Well then, uh, I uhh, guess that's me. Anyone else need to go on the elevator? Dr. Horton, Dr. Wong?
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
MONICA: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
JOEY: No, that means nothin to me.
Monica: At least you took me down with you!
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Rachel: Oh God. You did. You heard. Ok, listen, let me explain.
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Chandler: Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it.
Krista: Nice to meet you. I wish you'd told me we were having company, I'd fix myself up!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Joey: Yeah, why dont you move in with me? Itll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursdays right?
Ross: (embarassed) Me neither.
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
Joey: Tell me who it is.
Monica: Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off first. (She starts taking them off.) Ah Ooh Oohh Ohh Oh God Ohh Oh Ohh Ohhhh
David: Phoebe, will you marry me?
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Chandler: So do you think uh, Joeys more charming than me?
Ross: (skating over, embarrassed) Ok!... Uh... excuse me? Yeah?
Ross: Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me. Okay? I love you.
Ross: No, it's ok! Made me feel like a rock star!
PHOEBE: (calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me.� Listen, is um, is Ross near you?
Rachel: Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips?
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Joey: You like me? (shuts the door)
Chandler: That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross!
Ross: Joey, come on now, for me! Please, just-just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
Jill: Cant have?! Excuse me, the only thing I cant have is dairy! (Starts to storm out.)
Dr. Green: Ill never understand you lesbians. (To Rachel) So baby, tell me what is new with you.
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Ross: No!! Y'know-y'know dont do me any favours. In fact, where, wheres the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? Id like that back too. Yes, I do.
Rachel: Well, yeah... Okay, look it's about me and...
Ross: Oh, it's all over everything. Why? Why me? (looks up)
Precious: Oh, why would he do this? I mean, what's wrong with me?
Precious: I just can't believe that Mike didn't give me any warning.
Rachel: (speaking to herself and reading Cosmopolitan) Oh, lucky me! Coffee and a live sex show!
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Ross: I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts?
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
Rachel: Feel me up?
Charlie: And you know, you can just give me my stuff whenever you want.
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Rachel: Sure! That sounds great! Just leave me a message and tell me where to meet you. Okay? (Walks away.)
Chandler: You want me to wash my hands first, don't you?
Phoebe: Okay, well, this is crazy. Can't seriously be talking about me taking one of your kids, can we?
Owen: He told me! And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell.
Phoebe: But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me...
Joey: Ah-ah-ah! Were doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
Photographer: Great. (Takes a picture.) Great! Just give me a sec to change film.
Roy: You were talking about me before! Look, I don't need this! I'm outta here! Where's my hat? (goes to get it) Look, I've been in this business for a long time!
Joey: I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I cant take care of myself. Okay? Look, Im not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that Im gonna miss is you. And now the dog.
Joey: No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. Are you sure about this?
Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
Emily: (on answering machine) Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.
Chandler: The reason we havent told them were together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this?
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Chandler: No, had it done to me though. Feels good !
Chandler: Because thats where Joey gave me some stuff to store that Ive never seen before in my life! Okay, that did not just happen! (He does a weird clicky motion with his fingers, that kinda hard to describe.)
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Rachel: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Joey: Ok, you're scaring me a little bit.
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?
Joey: Well, I know what's the matter with me.
Rachel: Hmmm... Me too...
Joey: Yeah, me too.
Chandler: Dude, it's Chandler. Let me in.
CHANDLER: Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
Monica: Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and (to Chandler) you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me... A BABY! {she leaves)
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
Monica: Believe me, that is not why we won't be doing that!
Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)
Chandler: So? Would you care to join me in our first dance as husband and wife?
DR. BURKE: Yeah, that's my job. Alright, look up. . . look down, now open your eyes, now look down. That's right, look into the light. Now look at me. . . OK. Your eyes look good. Those are good eyes.
Chandler: Ah-ha, youre not the boss of me. (She kisses him) Yeah, you are! (She handcuffs him to the chair) Ooh, saucy.
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Ross: I'm the holiday armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you (Points to Ben) a Merry Christmas!
Chandler: Me too...
Phoebe: Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss (panting). But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight.
Joey: Then I blame you! Yeah! That's right! You threw me off with all your slapping!
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Phoebe: Mm-hmm. (To herself) Throw me a bone here.
Joey: Wait! Terry! Please! Look, I just lost my other job. Okay? You have no idea how much I need this. Please, help me out, for old times sake.
JOEY: But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
Phoebe: ME TOO! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH!
Joey: But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we’re getting rid of her.
Phoebe: Uhm, no. I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie.
Chandler: Sounds good to me... but what would a guy think?
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me.
Ross: so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Rachel: Yeah I dont think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her.
Monica: Ugh, we're screwed, aren't we? You know what? Just tell me on the way to the bird store.
Rachel: Uh, wait, so you guys are telling me you actually did the routine from eighth grade?