words in movies
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
RICHARD: Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot.
TILLY: I gather by that oh that he told you about me.
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
JOEY: They can't kill me, I'm Francesca's long lost son.
JOEY: How can they do this to me?
MONICA: Alright, before I tell you, uh, why don't you tell me how many women you've been with.
ROSS: Tell me about it. So what, what's your magic number?
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
RICHARD: Well, that's not bad at all. I mean, you had me thinkin it was like a fleet.
MONICA: And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
MONICA: Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan.
DR. REMORE: Well then, uh, I uhh, guess that's me. Anyone else need to go on the elevator? Dr. Horton, Dr. Wong?
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
MONICA: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
JOEY: No, that means nothin to me.
Monica: Oh no-no-no, it's still me.
Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.
Pete: Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And Im okay with that.
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
Joey: Me too. Alright, whattaya got.
Chandler: At least let me smoke it to the good part.
Robin: Why? Why?! Whats wrong with me?!
The Director: (stepping in) Excuse me. Excuse me. (to Kate) Sweetheart! (Kisses her.) Come! (They leave.)
Rachel: (She drops the brush) Y'know what? I cannot do this with my left hand! Would you please, help me with this too?
Billy: Its me, Ive been sleeping with your wife.
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Ross: Seven years. I mean weve been together seven years, shes the only woman whos ever loved me, and the only woman Ive-Ive ever....
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: How could you not tell me that she has hair?
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
Steve: Oh look, you don't have to give it too me right now! You can slip it under my door. (Points to his apartment across the hall.)
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
Joey: Oh well, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Gary: I know, really well. In fact, I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me.
Monica: (entering) Oh my God! You are gonna love me so much! I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight youre gonna have a bachelor party.
Rachel: You give me back my Walkman!
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
Monica: Please tell me youre stopping now.
Ross: Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me.
Rachel: No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today.
Chandler: (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965.
The Director: You guys make me fly! High! Okay, were gonna pick it up here, tomorrow.
Rachel: Ross gave it to me.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, it's-it's uh, you just uh, uh reminded me that uh, I need to do my stretches too. (Starts to stretch, groans painfully)
Phoebe: (points to herself) Phoebe. (points to her) Phoebe. Phoebe, yeah. She named me after you I guess.
Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh, okay. Well, so tell me everything about my parents. Everything.
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Ross: Whoa, hey! What are doing? Trying to get me drunk?
ROB: Because that would be fantastic. What? You wanna kiss me?
Ross: You still love me?
Ross: You still love me.
Rachel: Oh, y-yeah, so, you-you love me!
Minister: Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife.
Monica: Yeah could-could-could you get me something to drink?
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Monica: (chuckles) Hmm, well you're around me all the time and you don't flirt.
Rachel: (throws her stuff down) I was gonna give you a chance to apologise to me.
Chandler: Excuse me, Doug? (no reaction) Hey there sports fan!!
Joey: So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Monica:: do you know how many times I've seen him jump up like that, believe me I know what he was doing.
Chandler: Ugh. Just a sec, give me a minute to wake up for thisAh-ha-ha!! You lost the ring! Youre the worst best man ever!
Chandler: Me too!!
Joey: Me too.
RACH: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . [jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.]
Dana: Apparently Howies editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Yknow I-I-I havent spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor!
Monica: Promise me youll be careful.
Monica: Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So its a boy bath!
Ross: (answering the phone.) Hello. (Listens) Hi sweetie. (Listens.) Good. Look umm, yes I've been thinking about that thing that you wanted me to do and, I can do it. (Rachel gives him a thumbs up.) So will you come to New York? (Rachel wants to know what she said, and he gives her a thumbs up and she goes over and hugs him. All the time not knowing what's going on.)
Ross: Dont yell at me okay, this is the most Ive seen you all week.
Phoebe Sr.: Hey! Me too!
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
Phoebe: Excuse me. Umm, is Vince here?
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Okay, dont be mad at me, but I couldnt resist.
Joey: Yeah that's not such a bad situation they got going over there. I'm thinking of getting me one of those.
Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
Ross: No you doy'know what, youre not gonna suck me into this.
RACHEL: Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
MONICA: Phoebe, he's a friend of my parents. He's like 20 years older than me.
Chandler: Hey Rach, now that you're working at Ralph Lauren, can you bring me back some of those polo shirts?
Joey: Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! Its eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish.
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
Monica: Me too. (they all leave)
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Monica: Let me ask you a question.
Monica: Why did you hire me?
Phoebe: Yeah! So--ooh, I gotta ask you though. How did you know where to find me?
MONICA: Do you want me to cry? Is that what you want? Do you wanna see me cry?
Chandler: You are, youre gonna leave me like this?
Rachel: Well, then I lost it. You buy me one!
Phoebe: Whoa!! Thatokay, thats a lot of pressure on me and my uterus. (to Dr. Zane) So, well okay, so is thereis maybe is there something that I can do yknow just to like help make sure I get pregnant?
Elizabeth: Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out?
Pete: Listen, can you promise me that you wont tell her though?
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Gym Employee: Okay, Dave in the membership office, handles quitters. (Both Chandler and Ross start to make their way to the membership office.) Uh, excuse me, (to Ross) are you a member?
Ross: Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didnt want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that shes going to Florida for spring vacation.
Chandler: Excuse me? You don't think I could get a Brian? Because I could get a Brian. Believe you me. ...I'm really not.
Rachel: Its me! Good morning!
Ross: Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Aurora: ...Luckily none of the bullets hit the engine block. So, we made it to the border, but just barely, and I- ...I've been talking about myself all night long, I'm sorry. What about you? Tell me one of your stories.
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.
ROSS: No, you let me fini...
Ross: Me? No.