words in movies
Chandler: Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Joey: Well anyway, the guy they wanted backed out and now they want me! I start shooting today!
Joey: Yeah! Me too. (He pats his pocket.)
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Chandler: Honestly? Me too.
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Richard: Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (Hes holding a script.)
Joey: But youre spittin all over me man!
Joey: You know youve been spitting on me?!
Richard: Oh youre awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Rachel: I know. I know. Oh God. (Looking around) Theres no tissue! Can you grab me some toilet paper?
Ross: Give me two.
Ross: Okay, wish me luck.
Rachel: Okay uh, but before you do that. I-I, I need you to talk to me.
Rachel: Well maybe it would make me feel better if I slept with Joey.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Chandler: How did you guys find me? I knew I shouldve hid at the gym!
Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. Thats such a hard time for me.
Monica: Okay, youre-youre really freaking me out.
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Joey: What?! He got me! Owwwwww!!!
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Monica: (starting to cry) Im so happy for me.
Joey: I know! Im sorry! The guys drunk, they wont let me go until we get this.
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
Chandler: Okay, excuse me for a minute. (Starts to leave)
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Ross: He-he was with me umm, were playing a little game, yknow? Hide and seek.
Ross: (pause) Youre right, thanks for keeping me honest dad.
Monica: Oh thats sweet. Dont touch me.
Joey: Aaron! You gotta let me go. The guys hammered!
Joey: Thats what you told me.
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Joey: Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?!
Phoebe: Ohh, theyre having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasnt been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?
Joey: yeah but she should remember sleeping with me I am very memorable, you guys know.
Phoebe: And Joey, get me a bottle of wine and glasses? (He begrudgingly does so.)
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Rachel: Wherever I go. Come on you and me, we'll-we'll start a new group, we're the best ones.
Ross: Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out.
JOEY: All right.� All right.� Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh?� (He checks the bathroom shaking the bat.� Then he proceeds to their bedroom.)� Bwa-ah-ah!
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
Rachel: God, I hope he doesn't show up. Of course he's not gonna show up, the guy hates me.
Rachel: You guys are gonna come and visit me, right?
Joey: Uhh, look Katie, uh listen, we-we need to talk. Okay? Umm, look I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Okay? But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat.
Rachel: Ill tell ya who should be embarrassed! Its you guys! Come on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date!
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Stevens: (coming back in) Oh, excuse me. I forgot my briefcase y'know, by accident.
PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better.
Monica: Okay! Okay! Make me sterile, but okay.
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Ross: Me neither, okay? We are - we're done being stupid.
Rachel: Okay. Thank you! Thank you! BecauseI'm sorry, all right. Because y'know what? She didn't want menot important. The point is, I was right. Your decision. Okay? I was right. (She starts for the door.) (Stops) Your decision.
Chandler: You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that.
Rachel: Okay, I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the uh dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies.
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Chandler: So, thanks for having me over! Rach. (Goes over, grabs her, and kisses her.) Pheebs. (After a moment while he decides how to kiss her around her belly, grabs her and kisses her.)
Joey/Drake: Tell me to stop, just...tell me to stop. (he's about to kiss her)
Cliff: Wow! I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me.
Rachel: Oh, that was just my crazy friend. She told me I should get off the plane, because she had a feeling that there was something wrong with the left Philange.
Rachel: (stopping him) Wh-whoa! All right, okay-okay, I see, I see what's going on here! Now listen, look-look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am not some hussy who will just sleep around to get ahead! Now even though I (He tries to interrupt and tell her about the ink), hey-hey-hey, even though I kissed you, that does not give you the right to demand sex from me. I do not want, this job that bad. Good day, sir. (She storms out of his office.)
Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.
Rachel: Yeah... Amy kept kicking me in her sleep yelling ‘Myron, get off!’
Ross: Okay, the other night I was leaving the museum just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium, without even trying I sold 50 boxes! Thats when it occurred to me, the key to my success, the munchies. So I ah, started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight. I am selling cookies by the case. They call me: 'Cookie Dude!'
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Dr. Drake Remoray: Youre not dying Hope, youre gonna live a long, healthy life. With me.
Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if Im the best of the people they see, they give me the part.
Ross: Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
Joey: Well if you can't talk dirty to me, how're you going to talk dirty to her? Now tell me you want to caress my butt!
Chandler: (wails loudly into his hands) Joey kept screaming at me, Do it now! Do it!! Do it! Do it now!! Sometimes late at night I can still here the screaming.
Rachel: Really? Okay. Okay, I-Ill go upstairs. (to Paul) If-if you get me something from the car.
Charlie: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take this. Excuse me. (she cuts herself off for a moment)
Phoebe: Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets.
Joey: (thinking) Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted!
Ross: (on phone) Ok, bye. (hangs up) Well, Monica's not coming, it's just gonna be me and Rachel.
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
EDDIE: Ohhhh. Relax, take it easy buddy. Tell me twice, you want me to go? Alright, alright, guess I'll be back for my stuff. [walks out the door and after a pause comes back in] But if you think for one second I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane Jack!
Rachel: (entering) Monica? You gonna be very proud of me. I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses.
Monica: "Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen, tonight we'll put all other things aside. Give in thistime and show me some affection..."
Ross: Did you just wink at me?
Joey's Date: Totally! Wow! (Pause) Would you excuse me for a sec?
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Ross: Come here, come here. Uh, (He takes the earring out.) ow! Emily, will you marry me?
Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.
Ross: And in my defense, the cleaning lady came on to me!
Phoebe: Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it?
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Monica: Ohhh! What are you doing to me?! Oh look, I-I Im sorry but umm, this-this-this-this is not going to happen.
Phoebe: (singing) Hold me close, young Tony Dan-za.
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Rachel: No, he told me. He prefers to leave certain things to the imagination.
Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Monica: Behind my brother's back? (Rachel glares at her) ... is exactly the kind of crazy thing you won't be hearing from me.
Monica: No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right?
Joey: Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me!
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
Monica: Okay, d'y'see anybody you think could be me?
Ross: (opens the door and to Whitney) Hi! Im sorry, but can you give me a second while I talk to this woman, who by the way did not spend the night.
Ross: Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandlers really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)
Maitre d': Mr Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table.
Rachel: I can not believe your trading me!!
Rachel: From you. I exchanged the blouse you got me.
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Ross: What? What?! You were begging me to kiss you! You-you-you were sending me signals all over the place!
Frank: Hey, y'know, Alice is gonna be here so soon, you couldn't just like do me a favor and like, like hold them in?
RACHEL: I know, so do I. Oh Phoebe, I'm so glad you made me do this. OK, lemme se yours.
Frank: Oh, hes so cute, he reminds me of my old dog, Tumour.
RACHEL: Oh Ross, would you stop, you got me, I'm dating you.
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Charlie: Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop)
Chandler: All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.
Pete: I cant until Im the ultimate fighter. I will do it. Im telling you, the day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Now, Im not saying I could beat Superman, but y'know, kids are stupid.
Monica: He didnt ask me to marry him.
SUSIE: Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date.
Joey: Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who?
Rachel: Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything.
Monica: Deep Impact was the one with Robert Duval, Armageddon is whats going to happen to you if you wake me up.
PHOEBE: [cutting Mrs. Greene off] Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. [they go in the bathroom]
Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.
Ross: Please, he refers to me as wethead.
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. (Holds out her arms for a hug.)
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
Ross: No, no, with him. (He mimes holding the baby like a football.) I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me.
Pete: Dont worry, Hoshi taught me how to use an opponents strength and weight against him.
Paul: Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or Ill have you fired. What you heard was, "Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!"