words in movies
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)
Mike: You should be careful when checking your overhead bins, 'cause items may shift during...
Mike: You don't have to go home tonight, do you?
Mike: Oh...
Mike: Uhm... I can't do anything tonight.
Mike: I have a date.
Mike: Oh, it's... my girlfriend.
Mike: Yeah... Well, when... you and I broke up I started seeing someone.
Mike: Three months.
Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
Mike: Maybe I'll sign for it. Tear it open. Pull out the packing material...
Mike: Hey, it's Mike.
Mike: Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone...
Phoebe: Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.
Mike: One more thing... There... might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table.
Mike: Anyway, I just wanna give you a heads up.
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Precious: I just can't believe that Mike didn't give me any warning.
(Mike enters the apartment.)
Precious: Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
(Mike puts the ring on her finger)
Mike: (walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go.
Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.
Mike: You're a strange kind of grown-up.
Mike: Well... hey, the key works...! (he looks as if he doesn't want to believe what's happening)
Mike: So, what's new?
Mike: You really did that?
Mike: Ah! I missed you
Mike: Hey (He kisses Phoebe)
Mike: (afraid) You're kidding right?
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Mike: Crap Bag.
Mike: Yeah, but you can't do that.
Phoebe:(not amused) Mike Crap Bag?
Mike: I'm not blowing her off, I actually just got off the phone with her, were going out tomorrow night, I mean I hope that's ok with you stranger from the coffee house.
Mike: Why don't you tell her my name?
Mike: Really?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are leaving.]
Mike: Oh! Why don't you introduce me?
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
MIKE: So, except for the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing.� Fascinating isn't it.
Mike: Oh, figuring out our wedding plans.
Monica: Hey! Where's Mike?
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be?
Mike: Hey!
(Mike enters with a roll of paper in his hand.)
Joey: You know, the baby can't read, Mike!
Mike: (To Phoebe) I want one.
Mike: Seriously. Wanna make one of those?
Mike: Really?
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: nothing, I'm excited about our date, Mike this is Ross Geller this is Mike Haaaaa (starts crying)
Mike: You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.
Mike: Hey, what's going on?
Mike: You know, kinda think of it, the capital of Peru IS "vtox". (opens the kitchen cabinet) Oh god! Oh!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Ross is helping with the packing, Phoebe and Mike are also there.]
Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is blowing a note from his beer bottle.� Ross stares off to the side.)
Mike: They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff.
Monica: (to Mike) Serve the ball, chump!
Ross: (takes Chappy from Mike) Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... (smells Chappy) He stinks!
Mike: Woo-wo-hey-hey-hey... Can we not talk about that right now?
Mike: Oh! Sorry, I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name!
Mike: No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you.
Mike: After you, miss Banana Hammock.
Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Mike: Mom, dad, thanks for dinner.
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Mike: So you forfeit?
Mike: But please, let's just forget the whole thing.
Mike: I heard that weddings are like a 40 billion dollar a year industry.
(Mike starts to kneel in front of Phoebe.)
Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point.
Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve?
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
Mike: It's a Speedo.
Originally written by Michael Borkow, Mike Sikowitz & Jeffrey Astrof Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
(David produces the ring. At the same time, Mike walks in, behind David)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Ross: (yelling in pain) I know nothing! Mike’s a great guy, it was hypothetical!
Mike: (raising his glass) Thank you guys for having us over.
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...
Mike: 'Days of Our Lives'! That's why you look so familiar!
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
MIKE: My cousin's a paleontologist.
Mike: Why do you keep looking at the screen?
David: Right-o, right-o... (to Mike) Take good care of her. (and he leaves)
Mike: To see who goes first, you got a quarter?
Mike: Well, if I ever goto Minsk, you'd better watch out.
Mike: Hi David. Chandler. Monica... (Looks at Monica, checking her big hair, aghast) Oh!
Mike: That's great! You changed you name?
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
[Scene: Phoebe's at her apartment waiting for Mike Ross comes over.]
Mike: All right, that was Kenneth with his much too literal rendition of "I touch myself". Coming up next we've got Monicasinging "Delta Dawn".
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
Phoebe: OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
Mike: Oh, thank God. (he laughs nervously, and Phoebe gets her keychain from her bag.)
Mike: I can't believe this is gonna end. I guess I'll have my stuff packed up.
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together!
Helena: I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and (She holds the mike out to the audience.)
Mike: It's just my first marriage was, you know such a disaster. I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.
Mike: Stop! (The butler serves dinner)
Phoebe: That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls.
Monica: Absolutely! Yes, you say to him "I'm sorry Mike I can't live without her, she means too much to me!"
Phoebe: Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
Mike: (takes the check from Phoebe) Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. (thinking) Now... what do you think we should do?
Mike: and you don't have to worry about glue sniffing with me. although I do smell the occasional magic marker, yeah ah anyway I just think I can make you happy.
Written by: Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz. .
ROSS: Oh, you know . . . we just drank some beer and Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.
Ross: YAY! (He continues the happiness with her by dancing around) quick thing, I went to talk to Mike.
Joey: Oh, you said it Mike. (Rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
ROSS: Ah?� (Mike nods.� Another pause.)� Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!