words in movies
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
Monica: Okay.
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know Im not supposed to know, but I do. And Im so excited for you!
Ross: Monicas pregnant!
Monica: Guys! Im not pregnant.
Monica: You didnt tell anybody I was did you?!
Photographer: Now why dont we get a shot of just Monica and the bloody soldier.
Monica: (To Joey) Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party.
Monica: Find some! Please! Anything that doesnt say I-I died tragically in France. (Joey leaves to find clothes.)
Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe and Rachel join Monica and Chandler on the altar.) Hey Mon, why did you tell the guys you werent pregnant?
Monica: Because Im not.
(Flash, the photographer takes a picture of Monica and Chandlers stunned faces.)
Monica: What are you talking about?
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: Why?!
Monica: Phoebe, come on, you have to tell us.
Photographer: Why dont we have Monica step away and well get Chandler and the bridemaids.
Phoebe: So instead you told me Monica was pregnant.
Monica: Honey, Im going to put my hand in your pocket!
Monica: No.
Monica: What?!
Monica: Oh that is so sweet!
Monica: Yes.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Monica: Well, are you going to be able to do this?
Monica: Well, the good news is, I dont think anyones looking at us.
Monica: (seeing him) Oh sweet Lord.
Monica: Honey, Im not even going to pretend I was listening. (Sees someone else.) Hey! Hey! (Goes over to that person.)
Ross: Hi. Im uh, Im Ross. I dont, I dont believe weve met. Im Monicas older brother.
[Cut to Monica and Rachel at their table.]
Monica: Can you believe Phoebe got pregnant?!
Monica: This is so huge.
Monica: Of course not nothing is. Between me and you
Monica: in this day and age how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?
Monica: How?
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
Monica: Are you okay?
Rachel: Oh yes! Thank you very much! (She grabs a glass, takes a sip, and realizes what she just did. She then tries to spit the champagne back into the glass without Monica noticing. It doesnt work.) Oh thats-thats actually how the French drink it.
(Monica gasps.)
Monica: Oh really?!
Monica: (interrupting) Rachels really the one whos pregnant.
Monica: How do you feel?
Monica: Yes! Maybe its a false positive. Are you sure you peed on the stick right?
Monica: You-you gotta take it now. Come on, do it as a present to me.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Oh, wait a minute! Whos is the father?!
Monica: Oh, come on its my wedding! That can be my present.
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
[Cut to Monica walking up to Chandler.]
Monica: Hey, are you ready to get back on the dance floor?
Monica: Ohh come on, I love this song! Come on, youll be fine. (She starts to walk towards the floor.)
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Monica: Go ahead Rach.
Monica: Well Well, great.
Monica: Oh God
Monica: Are you really gonna do this?
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler and Monica are there with Phoebe as Ross enters.]
Monica: Honey, what is the Bruce Springsteen CD in the Kat Stevens case?
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
Monica: He was in Rosss class marching band kinda overweight? Well, really overweight. I mean I was his thin friend.
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Monica: Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are listening to a story being told by Danny and his sister.]
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Monica: Oh, whatd ya bring me?! (She opens the gift) Awww, hotel toiletries from Japan. Oh, these are gonna go in my permanent collection. You want some coffee?
Agency guy: (he enters with Erica) Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica.
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on!
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Monica: Because I don't work at the Szechwan Dragon.
Monica: (rolling towards the office) Im quitting!! Woo-hoo! (She rolls through a doorway and out of sight. We then hear a big crash, and see Monica roll past the door the other way.) Im okay!! Im all right!!
Monica: Oh, look! Acting for Beginners! Want to feel good about yourself?
Monica: So I made snacks. Please, just hang out okay? Im just gonna rest my eyes just a little bit.
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Monica: Ugh, I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass!
Monica: Well, Ive tried everything. I give up. I guess Im not gonna be the mom who makes the worlds best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that right.
Monica: Okay, Joey's doing the ceremony and Chandler's giving you away.
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
Monica: Wait a minute! Now Im betting against all three of you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is pacing and Rachel walks in.]
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I’m just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Monica: Thanks. Like, check out my new catering stuff. (Picks up two frying pans) Look at this! I'm an omelet station! Omelet? Made to order!
Monica: Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell mejust say, "I don't like your massages."
Joey: (jumping up in a hole that he is digging, he is shoulder deep) Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! (Chandler and Monica jump up and go over to the hole.) Check this baby out, dug me a hole!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandlers bachelor party has begun, what there is of it, with only Joey (wearing a gold paper top hat) and Chandler (wearing what appears to be a Burger King paper crown) enjoying a nice product placement of Budweisers on ice.]
Phoebe: Okay umm, well, first Chandler and Monica will get married and be filthy rich by the way. Yeah. But it wont work out.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler are looking through Monica's high school yearbook]
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
Monica: Ohh. (Rubs her fake stomach.)
Monica: Youre right, youre right I shouldnt freak out. Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!
Monica: Tea gives Phoebe the trots.
Monica and Phoebe: No-wait-no-no!!!!!!!
Monica: I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.
Monica: (In am uneasy voice.) Nope. (She chuckles uneasily.)
MONICA: My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it.
Monica: (Reading) 'A Woman Undone, by Rachel Karen Green'.
Monica: (having the same problem) You're the best friend I ever had.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is working on the seating chart while Chandler looks on and Rachel reads.]
Monica: Aww, sweetie, but its not like youre not gonna have anything. Youre gonna have nieces and nephews, and some ways thats even better.
Chandler: Eh, theyre both good. I generally just go with, Monicas drunk again. (Monica glares at him.)
[Scene: A Bridal Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for Monica who is trying on her wedding dress.]
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Monica: Y'know those are a delicacy in India.
Monica: Thats right! Maybe its time you took a good hard look at a mirror young lady old lady lady!
[Phoebe waves Monica in. Monica sneaks in with the bag with Clunkers in it and heads for Phoebe's room.]
Monica: Wait a minute, you got Ross Gellar and guest?! I wasnt invited and you got "and guest?!"
Monica: Yeah I do rock that one.
Monica: But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?
Monica: Okay. Oh but Joey, come over later because Im going to teach you to make a bird feeder out of just a pine cone and some peanut butter.
Monica: I know, and she's always bragging about all the famous people she's met.
MONICA: You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom.
Monica: She's the actress that was in Disclosure, Indecent Proposal, Ghost!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. All but Joey are present.]
Monica: (on phone) Hi!
Monica: Hey! Where ya headin in those pants? 1982?
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Ross: Monica said that did she? (He squeezes Monicas knee really hardly and Monica winces in pain.)
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
Monica: Well if Ted Kopel talked about his coworkers botched boob jobs, I would.
Monica: Yeah! Oh and interesting because I found the cameras in one of our bags! (Throws them into his chest.)
Monica: Really? I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. You're gonna have to figure this one for yourself. All right? Y'know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one. (She walks out.)
Monica: All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.
Monica: And then Chandler was, was really sweet and he consoled me. And well we drank too much
Monica: Chandler that's crazy! If you give up every time you'd have a fight with someone you'd never be with anyone longer thanOhhh! (They both realize something there.)
Monica: Uh, listen, I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed the other day.
Ross: Uh-huh. (Steps to a random kid nearby and hands him his money.) Hey, here you go buddy. Sorry, no porn for you. (To Rachel) Okay, lets go see Monica!
Monica: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Rach, a guy from Ralph Lauren called, you got a second interview!
Rachel: Well yknow what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! (Runs out.)
Monica: I know, but now we have this second one and it just, it feels like its snowballing, yknow?
Phoebe: You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monicas guest towels?
Monica: (to Chandler) Anything but stew.
Monica: Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
(Rachel sticks a marshmallow into Monica’s nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
Monica: (entering from her room) Phoebe! (Motions for the earrings. Phoebe gives her the one-minute sign.)
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!
[He distracts her from catching Monica and Monica slams into her, knocking her down. Monica then falls on top of her.]
Monica: Just double checking (does so)...no, no, no...(takes off a shoe and takes a ticket out of it) No!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there, the guys are watching football, the girls are cooking Thanksgiving dinner.]
CHAN: OK, let's do it. [Monica looks at him funny] What?
Monica: No I'm not sure that it's the best way to hear everything. Someone get me a glass!
Monica: It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing against other people, so technically I didn't lose.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Monica: That place in Vermont? You can take a hint!
Joey: It's my house-warming present for Monica and Chandler.
Monica: (continuing) Now, most guys will hit uh, 1-2-3 and then go to 7 and set up camp.
ROSS: C'mon Monica, do it. Hey, you guys, um, Monica has some news.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Mrs. Geller: Well, they don't have to know that... (She starts to fluff the same pillow Monica fluffed multiple times earlier.)
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Joey: That's right Ross, I can see you in your new apartment! And you can see me! Same as yesterday, (To Monica) same as the day before.
Monica: It meant nothing! Okay? After all this time, how can you not trust me?