words in movies
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
Monica: Okay.
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know Im not supposed to know, but I do. And Im so excited for you!
Ross: Monicas pregnant!
Monica: Guys! Im not pregnant.
Monica: You didnt tell anybody I was did you?!
Photographer: Now why dont we get a shot of just Monica and the bloody soldier.
Monica: (To Joey) Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party.
Monica: Find some! Please! Anything that doesnt say I-I died tragically in France. (Joey leaves to find clothes.)
Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe and Rachel join Monica and Chandler on the altar.) Hey Mon, why did you tell the guys you werent pregnant?
Monica: Because Im not.
(Flash, the photographer takes a picture of Monica and Chandlers stunned faces.)
Monica: What are you talking about?
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: Why?!
Monica: Phoebe, come on, you have to tell us.
Photographer: Why dont we have Monica step away and well get Chandler and the bridemaids.
Phoebe: So instead you told me Monica was pregnant.
Monica: Honey, Im going to put my hand in your pocket!
Monica: No.
Monica: What?!
Monica: Oh that is so sweet!
Monica: Yes.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Monica: Well, are you going to be able to do this?
Monica: Well, the good news is, I dont think anyones looking at us.
Monica: (seeing him) Oh sweet Lord.
Monica: Honey, Im not even going to pretend I was listening. (Sees someone else.) Hey! Hey! (Goes over to that person.)
Ross: Hi. Im uh, Im Ross. I dont, I dont believe weve met. Im Monicas older brother.
[Cut to Monica and Rachel at their table.]
Monica: Can you believe Phoebe got pregnant?!
Monica: This is so huge.
Monica: Of course not nothing is. Between me and you
Monica: in this day and age how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?
Monica: How?
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
Monica: Are you okay?
Rachel: Oh yes! Thank you very much! (She grabs a glass, takes a sip, and realizes what she just did. She then tries to spit the champagne back into the glass without Monica noticing. It doesnt work.) Oh thats-thats actually how the French drink it.
(Monica gasps.)
Monica: Oh really?!
Monica: (interrupting) Rachels really the one whos pregnant.
Monica: How do you feel?
Monica: Yes! Maybe its a false positive. Are you sure you peed on the stick right?
Monica: You-you gotta take it now. Come on, do it as a present to me.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Oh, wait a minute! Whos is the father?!
Monica: Oh, come on its my wedding! That can be my present.
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
[Cut to Monica walking up to Chandler.]
Monica: Hey, are you ready to get back on the dance floor?
Monica: Ohh come on, I love this song! Come on, youll be fine. (She starts to walk towards the floor.)
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Monica: Go ahead Rach.
Monica: Well Well, great.
Monica: Oh God
Monica: Are you really gonna do this?
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
[cut to later, Monicas team has the ball.]
Monica: (smiling) It's so sweet. It really is. It has this big yard that leads down to this stream and then there's these old maple trees... (gets cut off)
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Chandler: No, but Horny for Monica Minister called, wanting to know if we were still together.
Monica: Mine? (points to her lower lip) Right here?
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...
Monica: Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together.
Monica: Oh, honey, I forgot. I promised Treeger that we'd leave our keys.
Monica: Come on! Come on! Hurry! Were running out of time! Huddle up!
Monica: Man, this sucks! Yknow if Mom and Dad dont see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, whos gonna be the losers then?
Front Desk Clerk: (To Monica) Heres a copy of your bill.
Monica: Making holiday candy for the neighbors.
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Monica: You got a callback too didn't you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, (although its really just Monicas now with Matthew Perry in rehab) Monica is folding her laundry with Ross reading the paper and Phoebe standing in the kitchen.]
Monica, Chandler, Ross: Congratulations!/Good for you!/Great!
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Monica: We have a ladle. (Gives him one.)
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Monica: Whats the big deal?
Monica: The guy who made these hates feet and wants to see them die!
Monica: Wait a minute. That wasnt a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
MONICA: You wanna be in charge of the food committee?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: All right then, go fight for her! Go to London! I mean, that could be you and Emily! (Points to the TV.) That, but-but nicer. Just, go to London!
Monica: Phoebe, yknow why dont we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
MONICA: Oh, dad, turn it off.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Monica about his new baby sitting job.]
Monica: You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?
Monica: All right! Let's go! (Runs to the door.) Let's go Team Monica! (The guys all stop and stare at her) All right, we can work out the name later.
Monica: Bet I know how that discussions going to go.
Monica: Ok, then, why are you... (she opens her robe revealing a nice black dress) all dressed up??
Monica: We didnt get anything for anyone.
Monica: Oh, um, I dont know if thats a good idea.
(Monica puts the groceries down and goes to check the answering machine and hears.)
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.
Monica: Didnt it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did?
Rachel: Okay! (Runs and grabs a book and hands it to Monica.) Okay! Here!
Monica: Yeah, well hes my brother! And plus he drives so slow he could never hurt it.
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
Monica: Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming.
Joey: Whoa, Monica runs a pretty tight ship over here. What are you doing?
Phoebe: Hey Monica, what about your extra tickets?
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Monica: All right Rachel, you sweep behind, Ill pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break.
Monica: Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in Jersey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?
Monica: (leaving) I'm outta here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?
Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
MONICA: Damnit Ross, get your butt out of the bathroom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Close up of the flan on the table with birthday candles.]
Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
Monica: (faking happiness) Well, I-I-I-I... I don't know...
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
MONICA: Really?� But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant.� If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
Monica: All right, umm, were not gonna really keep it this way though.
MONICA: Nothin', nothin', hey you're a cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, thank you, I'm very greatful.
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Im not laughing.
Monica: I don't know! Why don't you just explain? What do they want? Find out what they want!
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Chandler is looking at the babies as Monica walks up.]
CHANDLER: I'm sorry.� I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . .� I didn't think you'd understand.
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica and Chandler are returning and Monica finds her basket is empty.]
Monica: Im checking out the restaurant with Pete.
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Monica: I wish we at least knew his name... Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping, he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer.
Chandler: (intrigued) Yeah? (Monica nods yes.) I hope youre not thinking about cleaning the living room.
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
[Scene: The beach house, Joey and Chandler are sitting at the dinner table, Monica is looking in the fridge.]
Rachel: Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?
Monica: (to Mike) This doesn't concern you!!
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Monica: Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler!
MONICA: Thanks. So, I guess I better be going.
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Continued from earlier, Rachel is now telling everyone of her experience in the garbage room.]
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Monica: I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monicas Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Petes just doing this because he has a crush on me.
Monica: You broke a little girls leg?!!
Monica: Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?