words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Monica: I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.
Monica: It's so unfair, you don't even like your job!
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Monica: (shocked) You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve??
Monica: No!
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Hanukkah. Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross. And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
[Flashback to 610 - TOW The Routine] [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
(Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.)
[Flashback to 710 - TOW The Holiday Armadillo] [Scene: Monica, Chandler and Phoebe's, Ross is costumed as an Armadillo.]
Monica: Come on Ben.
(Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.)
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Monica: Yeah, is that okay?
Monica: No.
[Scene change back an forth: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica's on the other end of the line. The phone's speaker is turned on, so the rest of the gang, sitting around the phone, can hear Chandler.]
Monica: Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Monica: So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard?
Monica: Wendy? -- That sounds like a girl's name.
Monica: Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else?
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Monica: What does she do there?
Monica: She did WHAT?
Monica: *What*??
Monica: Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Okay!
Monica: Merry Christmas.
[Flashback to 716 - TOW The Truth About London] [Scene: London, Chandler's hotel room. He was getting ready for bed when Monica pays him a visit and they started talking]
Monica: Really?
Monica: Well, not anymore.
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Monica: Okay!
Monica: (breaking the kiss) Y'know what's weird?
Monica: This doesn't feel weird!
Monica: You're a really good kisser.
Monica: Hm-hmm!
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
Monica: We're gonna see each other naked.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Monica: One!
Monica: Two!
Monica: Eh, we weren't that close anyway!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
Monica: (interrupting) Know when to stop.
Monica: Yeah. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around:) Don't do the dance.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Monica: I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
Monica: You're so efficient. I love you!
Monica: No-no-no, wait! We need something old!
Monica: That'll work!
Monica: Okay, now we just need something borrowed!
Monica: That's stealing!
Monica: Ohh. (Rubs her fake stomach.)
[Flashback to 702 - TOW Rachel's Book] [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Monica: You do?!
Monica: Oh, you're so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?
Monica: You thought about that?
Monica: How many kids were we gonna have?
Monica: What else did you think about?
Monica: (laughs) Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding.
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
Monica: Uh-hmm.
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone except Chandler is there; they're opening their presents]
Monica: "Wendy" is a fat girl name.
Monica: Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?
Monica: What are you doing here?
Chandler: Monica.
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh my god!
Monica: No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!
(Chandler hands Phoebe an envelope, and some more to Monica)
Chandler: (to Monica) Here, pass these, will ya.. (points to the others)
(Monica passes the Envelopes on to Ross, Joey and Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica is cleaning up, Chandler is sitting on the couch, checking the Job offers in a Newspaper.]
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
MONICA: You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this.
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
Monica: No, umm, he met some girl at the coffee house.
Monica: And lucky means, more cleavage?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: (interrupting) No! You have lasagnas! (Storms out and an awkward silence follows.)
Monica: Hey!
Monica: She said that?!
Monica: Umm
Monica: Why?!
MONICA: Wow. Oh wow. You know I love you too, right.
Monica: So, is Joey gonna stop snoring?
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again itll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closets still available?
Monica: Sometimes we were.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: We were shopping, and we had lunch.
Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]
Monica: Youll see.
Monica: Oh my God! Hes gonna rat me out!
Monica: I got you the foot massager.
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Monica: Ohh. And I dont even have a date.
Chandler: Look, I-Im just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up Im moving right back in with you!
MONICA: Give it to me.
Monica: Hey.
Monica: (to Chandler) Shh!! (On phone) Wait, what?
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is entering, Monica and Rachel are talking on the couch.]
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
Monica: Phoebe, they didnt make you pay for those knives, did they?
Monica: Well, thanks, we like him.
Monica: I was laughing. (Patting him on the knee.)
Monica: But more importantly to full well-rounded lives.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
(Chandlers trying to console Monica.)
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
Monica: Then why would he say it?
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
Monica: Yep, yep...You?
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!
Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.
Joey: Have you seen Monica?
Monica: Ok, thank you.(the man leaves) Uh, well this is it. Are you OK?
Monica: Chicken Kiev?
[ Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Chandler, Monica and Emma are sitting on the floor, and Emma's stuffed animals are lined up in front of them.]
Monica: Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monicas boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monicas fat, I wont be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]
Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).
Ross: So unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma. (he tries to take a cookie but Monica slaps his hand)
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
Monica: What were we thinking?
Monica: Stupid.
Monica: Oh yeah. Definitely.
Monica: Okay, does it involve something to do with Petes computer company?
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Ill meet you there in two minutes.
Monica: Only here.
Monica: See, Ive been waiting my whole life to be engaged, and unlike some people Im only planning on doing this once. So, uh yknow, maybe this is selfish and Im sorry about it, but I was kinda hoping tonight could just be about that.
Monica: Oh, I-I dont know.
Rachel: Monica, what should I do?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: Ill call you back. (starts kissing him)
Monica: All right. (Goes to take off the dress.)
Monica: Thats true.
Monica: (entering) Hey, guys. Im here to pick out my Christmas tree.
Fat Monica: Call them mom and dad you loser!
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Monica: Oh my God, Rachel! Hi!
Monica: Great
Ross: (in a high pitched voice) Monica!
Monica: No time for that!
Monica: You really think this is okay?
Monica: Okay!
Monica: Or 45.
Monica: Yeah, I think you should keep looking!
Monica: You didnt find her?
Monica: Didnt your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
Chandler: (To Monica) I love you. And I know about the baby.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Ha ha, a joke thats funny in all countries.
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?
Fat Monica: Okay!
Monica: 'I drink tea.'
Monica: Im changing out of this.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.