words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Monica: I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.
Monica: It's so unfair, you don't even like your job!
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Monica: (shocked) You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve??
Monica: No!
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Hanukkah. Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross. And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
[Flashback to 610 - TOW The Routine] [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
(Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.)
[Flashback to 710 - TOW The Holiday Armadillo] [Scene: Monica, Chandler and Phoebe's, Ross is costumed as an Armadillo.]
Monica: Come on Ben.
(Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.)
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Monica: Yeah, is that okay?
Monica: No.
[Scene change back an forth: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica's on the other end of the line. The phone's speaker is turned on, so the rest of the gang, sitting around the phone, can hear Chandler.]
Monica: Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Monica: So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard?
Monica: Wendy? -- That sounds like a girl's name.
Monica: Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else?
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Monica: What does she do there?
Monica: She did WHAT?
Monica: *What*??
Monica: Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Okay!
Monica: Merry Christmas.
[Flashback to 716 - TOW The Truth About London] [Scene: London, Chandler's hotel room. He was getting ready for bed when Monica pays him a visit and they started talking]
Monica: Really?
Monica: Well, not anymore.
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Monica: Okay!
Monica: (breaking the kiss) Y'know what's weird?
Monica: This doesn't feel weird!
Monica: You're a really good kisser.
Monica: Hm-hmm!
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
Monica: We're gonna see each other naked.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Monica: One!
Monica: Two!
Monica: Eh, we weren't that close anyway!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
Monica: (interrupting) Know when to stop.
Monica: Yeah. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around:) Don't do the dance.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Monica: I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
Monica: You're so efficient. I love you!
Monica: No-no-no, wait! We need something old!
Monica: That'll work!
Monica: Okay, now we just need something borrowed!
Monica: That's stealing!
Monica: Ohh. (Rubs her fake stomach.)
[Flashback to 702 - TOW Rachel's Book] [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Monica: You do?!
Monica: Oh, you're so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?
Monica: You thought about that?
Monica: How many kids were we gonna have?
Monica: What else did you think about?
Monica: (laughs) Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding.
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
Monica: Uh-hmm.
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone except Chandler is there; they're opening their presents]
Monica: "Wendy" is a fat girl name.
Monica: Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?
Monica: What are you doing here?
Chandler: Monica.
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh my god!
Monica: No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!
(Chandler hands Phoebe an envelope, and some more to Monica)
Chandler: (to Monica) Here, pass these, will ya.. (points to the others)
(Monica passes the Envelopes on to Ross, Joey and Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica is cleaning up, Chandler is sitting on the couch, checking the Job offers in a Newspaper.]
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
Phoebe: Well last night, I met Monicas.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is opening the door to Monica.]
Monica: Hey.
Erica: So, it's Monica and Chandler. I only know you as file 0W33815-D.
Monica: Joey hes not even thinking about going after Rachel!
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
Monica: He says he wants to leave the country. (Pause) He thinks you hate him.
Phoebe: Umm, Chandler, Monica, this is Don.
Monica: I know! What is this, 1985?!
Monica: Not really.
Monica: Hi!
Monica and Chandler's Apartment.
Monica: So, what have you guys been doing?
Monica: No!
Monica: Oh my God! Thats my restaurant, Im the chef there.
Monica: (returning) Phoebe, good work.
MONICA: Anything larger back there?
Monica: Careful. <hands Chandler a china plate> Careful. CAREFUL!
Monica: All right. (He goes to push it and it doesnt move.)
Monica: Okay, all right dont judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Chandler are watching Monica and Don talk.]
Monica: Id move in tomorrow!
Monica: All right, whats going on?
Monica: Jeez! What is with you?
Monica: I just talked to Joey, I justI want to see how you were.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Monica: Id like to have Don and Phoebe over. Wouldnt that be nice?
Monica: Chandler, you dont believe in soul mates?
Monica: I know.
Monica: Rach, are you really gonna let him do this?
Monica: Oh, youre so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?
Monica: well no offense honey, but your taste is a little feminine for me.
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Monica: (wary) Okay. So, which boxes are mine?
MONICA: Alright, I've got a leg, three breasts and a wing.
Monica: Hey Rachel!
Monica: Joey, you have to talk to her!
Monica: Whats up?
Monica: Sure.
Chandler: I dont see him. (To Monica) Do you see him?
Monica: (To Joey) Okay, did you hear that?
Monica: We were playing a game.
Monica: Honey, you gotta talk to her.
Monica: Uch. I am still so mad at you for smoking.
Monica: Okay, Im done. Read mine.
Monica: You mean your pink shirt?
Monica: I don't know, how about the idiot who thought he could drive from Albany to Canada on a half a tank of gas!
Monica: Yeah, and yknow, if you could not mention to them that we live together, that would be great! (Quickly trying to change subjects), I was thinking we would eat around four.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Where is the James Taylor CD?
Monica: Hmm, I dont know. We really have to talk this through.
Rachel: Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?!
FRIEND: Oh. Speaking of whom, I hear he's got some 20-year-old twinkie in the city. [Monica sprays whipped cream all over the place]
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Ross are playing Madlibs. Phoebe is reading hers.]
Monica: Honey you-you got to beat your scores!
Monica: Not just the phone pen. I never get my messages.
Monica: Yeah? The work problem?
Monica: Honey, both yours.
Monica: That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and I don't feel anything at all. (Chandler approaches)
Chandler and Monica: What?!
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Monica: He is the man in the black dress.
Monica: You said your boss wants to buy your baby?!
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
Monica: Subtle guys!
Monica: Thats not your regular dry cleaners.
Monica: What?!
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Monica: Yeah, Id really like to.
Monica: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Monica: Really you can do that?
Monica: The good stuff, huh?
Monica: You got a present for my parents. Thats so sweet.
Monica: What?!
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Thats my old dog. He passed away years ago.
Monica: And Ive got the car keys.
Monica: Well, spring vacation is doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break youre doing frat guys.
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
Monica: I feel terrible.
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
(As she walks away, Chandler mouths a scream to Monica. How motions and mouths, "It's okay, it's okay.")
Monica: All right. Now do it soon, he just asked me how to convert his dollars into Vermont money.
Monica: (pause) I have no idea.
(Cut to Monica and Chandler)
Monica: Yeah. In fact, I like her so much you tell her I want my cookies early this year! Yknow, a box of Thin Mints and some Tag-a-Longs.
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are playing with a Ouija board, Phoebes beeper goes off and Monica screams.]
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.
(Cut to Monica, at the microphone)
Ross: Oh, no, Mom, its just Monica this year.
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Monica: Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)