words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
[Scene: Chandler's office, Monica and him are at a party his office is throwing.]
Monica: Look at us all dressed up for the big office party! By the way, what are we celebrating?
Monica: I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide.
Monica: Ooh, and I can do this. (She kisses him on the cheek.)
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Chandler: I asked myself that very question, sir. Uh, (Points to Monica) this is Monica. (Points to his boss.) This is my boss, Doug. Doug this is Monica.
Monica: Hi, nice to meet you!
Kara: Nice to meet you Monica. Bing! (Slaps Chandler on his butt.)
Doug: Come on honey, let's go drink our body weight. (They walk off leaving Chandler and Monica alone.)
Monica: What was that?
Monica: That noise you just made?
Monica: Really? Your work laugh?
Monica: All right, check me out.
(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is buying a muffin as Chandler runs in.]
Monica: Really?
Monica: Hey, I thought you already had one.
Rachel: (To Monica) Hey!
Monica: Hi!
Monica: What are you doing here? I thought you had to do inventory all day.
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Monica: Uhh, not much. Uh, work's good.
Monica: Okay. Umm
Monica: Okay, what's going on with you?
Monica: Well, I-Ithere was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore.
Monica: Yes, I'm sure! Rachel is there something that you want to talk me about?
[Scene: A tennis court somewhere in the city of New York, it's the doubles match-up of a century Chandler and Monica versus Doug and Kara.]
(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)
Monica: Game!
Monica: Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!
Monica: I'm sorry, I don't understand what you just said.
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
Monica: They have racquets don't they?!
Chandler: Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? (Does his work laugh.) (To Monica) Please let them win!
Monica: I'll take it down to 95% but that's the best I can do.
Monica: I got it! (She hits a forehand smash that bounces right in between Doug and Kara and scores a point.)
(Chandler glares at her and she shrugs her shoulders. Monica serves again; and Kara returns it.)
Monica: I got it!!
Chandler: Long! (Gives Monica the Work Laugh.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Chandler are returning from the game.]
Monica: I can't believe you let them win!
Monica: I was frustrated.
Monica: I was frustrated with you!
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
Monica: I'm telling you, something's wrong! My brother does not stay out all night.
Monica: Oh my God! (She goes to hug him, stops short, and hits him on the shoulder.) Where the hell have you been?!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is going through her purse as Rachel rushes in.]
Monica: My turn? What-what are you talking about?
Rachel: Ugh, Monica, I know about you and Chandler.
Monica: What?!
Monica: Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out.
Monica: Well, if you had kept listening, you-you would have heard me call him Mr. Big (Thinks) ot.
Monica: Mr. Bigot. He tells the most racist jokes.
Monica: Me and Chandler?! (Does her fake laugh.)
[Scene: Doug's house, Chandler, Monica, and them are just finishing dinner.]
Monica: Oh, none for me. Thanks.
Doug: Well, maybe I'll bring it out and have Monica stick her finger in it. That oughta sweeten it up, huh? (Once again, with the laugh.)
Monica: (To Chandler) How does that laugh not give you a headache?
Monica: Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things.
Monica: I'd rather hang out with a sniveling work weasel guy when I can be hanging out with my boyfriend who I actually respect.
Monica: (interrupting) Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke.
Monica: Yeah! I mean it was really funny, I-I just don't think you got it. You see Kara's coffee is-is-is weak tasting, okay? But-but what Doug was-was imply that it was weak physically. You get it now honey?
Chandler: I think I do! (They all laugh.) Thank you, Monica.
Monica: I thought you could use the help.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Monica: Sorry! I'm justI'm not very good at this! I'm a terrible liar and I hate having to lie to Rachel!
Monica: I know! It's just that ever since high school Rachel was the one person I told everything too. Y'know? I miss that so much now. She's my best friend.
Monica: (entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!
Monica: Wh-wh-what are you doing here? (She tries to pull her shirt down to cover the fact that she's wearing men's boxers.]
Monica: Okay great!
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Monica: Y'know when I said to you earlier that I was at work umm, I'm at my new work.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: I'll get back to my new job.
Rachel: 'Kay. (Pause.) Congratulations on your new job. (She goes and hugs Monica and is almost in tears.)
(Monica motions that it went right over Rachel's head.)
Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)
Monica: Hey Joey, I don’t think we can use this.
Monica: (hesitatingly) I punched you...?
Monica: Twelve dollars an hour.
Monica: Hey, we're probably fertile, let's go home!
Joey: Yeah, Monica made us!
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
Monica: Okay ah, please dont freak out. Umm, but ah, theres a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups, and theres no way to know which one.
Monica: Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose?
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: I proposed to Chandler! (Phoebe stops herself from laughing) Alright, moving on...
Chandler: (laughs) Isnt she cute? (On Monicas death stare) No!
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: [singing] I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Ross: Mine stole my newspaper! Its like a crime wave!! (Monica runs to make more candy.) Pheebs, you uh, you got a second.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Monica: Okay good.
Monica: You dropped it off?
(Chandler and Monica look shocked)
Monica: What?
Monica: Well, he did manage to keep his identity secret for a long time.
Monica: Ok listen, you go down to the pool and reserve the chairs, and I'll get the magazines and the lotion.
Monica: (surprised) They thought Joey was a child?
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Monica: Hey, what did you guys do today?
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Ross: Hey guys. Monica and Chandler: Hi Ross.
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Monica: I'm a cool, fun aunt!
Rachel: I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it?
Monica: No! no! Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying.
Monica: Yeah, I dont hear Chandlers and he doesnt hear mine.
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Monica: (looking disappointed) I guess so...
Monica: Tell them I'm a chef in a big New York restaurant!
Monica: Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit em. I cant wait. Theyre going to be crying so hard. Theyre going to be fighting for breath.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Chandler: Is Monica not here?
Chandler: (entering with Joey) (to Monica) Coffee house?
Monica: Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me.
Monica: Oh, right.
Phoebe: (looking at Monica entering) Hey!
Monica: Hey, you wanna go to see a movie?
Chandler: Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. (Monica smiles at that.)
Monica: Damn it, I did not think this through!
Monica: No. I dont think that you and I were destined to end up together. I think that we fell in love and work hard at our relationship. Some days we work really hard.
Monica: Just go get some! (Kisses him.) Go! (She runs to hide in the bathroom.)
Monica: I don't want her to get a boob job! That's crazy!
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Monica: But I want to.
Monica: You know, I would give her up, for you.
Monica: Huh!
Monica: Wow, what's the bad news!
Monica: Rachel! Im never gonna think its okay for you to cheat on your husband!
Monica: Okay, fine but please dont be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey. (Joey smiles.)
Monica: (faking happiness) Oh, my!
Monica: Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him!
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Monica: (offended) I like that poster!
Monica: (Impatient with Rachel) Are you still here?
Monica: SHE'S YOURS!
Monica: No it's not, b'cause she's still in love with Mike!
Monica: Hey! I sold that to Joey.
Monica: She's mine!
(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him but is intercepted by Rachel.)
Monica: She's mine!
Monica: No you can't. She's yours!
Monica: She's mine!
Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)
Monica: Oh my God!
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch.]
Monica:: you don't think sharks are sexy do you?
Monica: (beaming) Yeah! Yeah! His name is Chandler and...
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica to correct her.)
Monica: (sarcastically) We?
Monica: Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Monica: Chandler?
Monica: It isn't mine!
Monica: Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free.
Monica:: Ok (sits down next to him) This is how much I love you. (She presses play then puts her arm around Chandler's neck.)
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-youll let it go.
Chandler: Great! (to Monica) This baby'd better to be really good.
Monica: Yeah. I mean it was kinda fun for a while, but didnt you start feeling silly?
Monica: Ok.
Monica: What does the red X next to Bob Greenmore's name mean?
(Chandler hangs up and calls Monica who is reading a book on their sofa as the phone rings.)
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: Okay, can we change the topic? Because its really doing nothing for me.
Monica: Yay!
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.