words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, he is giving Monica a massage.]
Monica: I can't believe we've never done this before! It's sooo good! So good for Monica!
Monica: That was a half an hour?
Monica: Y'know, I don't like to brag about it, but I give the best massages!
Monica: It's so good, isn't it?
Monica: Say good-bye to sore muscles!
Monica: (entering, in a hurry) Guys! Guys! I just saw two people having sex in a car right outside.
Monica: Ohh my God, I'm so sorry.
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
Monica: What?! What honey?
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Monica: All right, let's go say good-bye.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, after the funeral, everyone is there.]
Monica: Well, at least you scared someone.
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Monica: What are you talking about?
Monica: (indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)
Monica: No he's not!
Monica: What?!
Monica: You've been lying to me? I can't believe you'd do that.
Monica: But the minute we start to lie to each other (Pauses after she realizes what she's saying.) And by 'we' I mean society.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is poking his head in.]
Monica: No.
Monica: Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell mejust say, "I don't like your massages."
Monica: (starting to cry) See? It's no big deal.
Monica: I'm not crying about that! I'm crying about something that happened at work.
Monica: (bursting into tears) My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages.
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
Monica: I'm crying here!!
Monica: Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?
Chandler: Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!
Monica: So maybe they could umm, call the award the Monica?
Monica: Okay. I suck!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Monica: Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)
Monica: Hey Joey, I don’t think we can use this.
Monica: (hesitatingly) I punched you...?
Monica: Twelve dollars an hour.
Monica: Hey, we're probably fertile, let's go home!
Joey: Yeah, Monica made us!
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
Monica: Okay ah, please dont freak out. Umm, but ah, theres a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups, and theres no way to know which one.
Monica: Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose?
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: I proposed to Chandler! (Phoebe stops herself from laughing) Alright, moving on...
Chandler: (laughs) Isnt she cute? (On Monicas death stare) No!
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: [singing] I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Ross: Mine stole my newspaper! Its like a crime wave!! (Monica runs to make more candy.) Pheebs, you uh, you got a second.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Monica: Okay good.
Monica: You dropped it off?
(Chandler and Monica look shocked)
Monica: What?
Monica: Well, he did manage to keep his identity secret for a long time.
Monica: Ok listen, you go down to the pool and reserve the chairs, and I'll get the magazines and the lotion.
Monica: (surprised) They thought Joey was a child?
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Monica: Hey, what did you guys do today?
Ross: (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
Ross: Hey guys. Monica and Chandler: Hi Ross.
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Monica: I'm a cool, fun aunt!
Rachel: I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it?
Monica: No! no! Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying.
Monica: Yeah, I dont hear Chandlers and he doesnt hear mine.
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Monica: (looking disappointed) I guess so...
Monica: Tell them I'm a chef in a big New York restaurant!
Monica: Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit em. I cant wait. Theyre going to be crying so hard. Theyre going to be fighting for breath.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Chandler: Is Monica not here?
Chandler: (entering with Joey) (to Monica) Coffee house?
Monica: Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me.
Monica: Oh, right.
Phoebe: (looking at Monica entering) Hey!
Monica: Hey, you wanna go to see a movie?
Chandler: Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. (Monica smiles at that.)
Monica: Damn it, I did not think this through!
Monica: No. I dont think that you and I were destined to end up together. I think that we fell in love and work hard at our relationship. Some days we work really hard.
Monica: Just go get some! (Kisses him.) Go! (She runs to hide in the bathroom.)
Monica: I don't want her to get a boob job! That's crazy!
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Monica: But I want to.
Monica: You know, I would give her up, for you.
Monica: Huh!
Monica: Wow, what's the bad news!
Monica: Rachel! Im never gonna think its okay for you to cheat on your husband!
Monica: Okay, fine but please dont be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey. (Joey smiles.)
Monica: (faking happiness) Oh, my!
Monica: Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him!
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Monica: (offended) I like that poster!
Monica: (Impatient with Rachel) Are you still here?
Monica: SHE'S YOURS!
Monica: No it's not, b'cause she's still in love with Mike!
Monica: Hey! I sold that to Joey.
Monica: She's mine!
(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him but is intercepted by Rachel.)
Monica: She's mine!
Monica: No you can't. She's yours!
Monica: She's mine!
Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)
Monica: Oh my God!
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch.]
Monica:: you don't think sharks are sexy do you?
Monica: (beaming) Yeah! Yeah! His name is Chandler and...
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica to correct her.)
Monica: (sarcastically) We?
Monica: Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Monica: Chandler?
Monica: It isn't mine!
Monica: Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free.
Monica:: Ok (sits down next to him) This is how much I love you. (She presses play then puts her arm around Chandler's neck.)
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-youll let it go.
Chandler: Great! (to Monica) This baby'd better to be really good.
Monica: Yeah. I mean it was kinda fun for a while, but didnt you start feeling silly?
Monica: Ok.
Monica: What does the red X next to Bob Greenmore's name mean?
(Chandler hangs up and calls Monica who is reading a book on their sofa as the phone rings.)
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: Okay, can we change the topic? Because its really doing nothing for me.
Monica: Yay!
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.