words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, he is giving Monica a massage.]
Monica: I can't believe we've never done this before! It's sooo good! So good for Monica!
Monica: That was a half an hour?
Monica: Y'know, I don't like to brag about it, but I give the best massages!
Monica: It's so good, isn't it?
Monica: Say good-bye to sore muscles!
Monica: (entering, in a hurry) Guys! Guys! I just saw two people having sex in a car right outside.
Monica: Ohh my God, I'm so sorry.
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
Monica: What?! What honey?
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Monica: All right, let's go say good-bye.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, after the funeral, everyone is there.]
Monica: Well, at least you scared someone.
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Monica: What are you talking about?
Monica: (indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)
Monica: No he's not!
Monica: What?!
Monica: You've been lying to me? I can't believe you'd do that.
Monica: But the minute we start to lie to each other (Pauses after she realizes what she's saying.) And by 'we' I mean society.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is poking his head in.]
Monica: No.
Monica: Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell mejust say, "I don't like your massages."
Monica: (starting to cry) See? It's no big deal.
Monica: I'm not crying about that! I'm crying about something that happened at work.
Monica: (bursting into tears) My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages.
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
Monica: I'm crying here!!
Monica: Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?
Chandler: Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!
Monica: So maybe they could umm, call the award the Monica?
Monica: Okay. I suck!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Monica: Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
Monica: They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that?
Monica: (giggles) Of course I have! What do you think, Im some 30 year old virgin?
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
Monica: No, to get a table! Places like are always shakin you down. Everybody wants to be paid off.
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
Monica: Hey! How'd the audition go?!
Monica: Yeah, definitely.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
Monica: I know! Although, you did tell an awful lot of jokes.
Monica: What about my questions?
Monica: Okay, maybe people give out fake numbers, but they dont give out fake names.
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Was that another joke?
Monica: Hell yeah!!!
Monica: I know.
Monica: (taking Rachels hand) Sweetie okay. Its okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. Im fine.
Monica: You used the Europe story!
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
Monica: Hey how was dinner?!
Monica: Okay!
Monica: Okay!
Phoebe: Oh, so you're Monicas boss?
Phoebe: (To Monica) I didnt see this on the menu.
[Scene: Dr. Burke's office. Monica is there for her eye appointment.]
Monica: What is wrong with this freezer?! (She jabs her arm into the freezer and a piece of ice flies into her eye.) Ow! Ow!!
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Monica: Well maybe Im ready now. I mean, its a little scary, but maybe its right.
Chandler: Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Phoebe: Ooh Monica!
Monica: Hi!
Rachel: Monica, yknow what? The only reason I did that was because your party was so boring!
Monica: I I have to fire him.
Monica: I paid to have this done.
Monica: (standing outside) Cute PJs! Youre really livin it up here in London huh?
[Scene: Doug's house, Chandler, Monica, and them are just finishing dinner.]
(Chandler lets her into the apartment and reveals that Monica is getting a massage from another woman.)
Monica: How can that be?! Oh wait! Wait! Are you, are you serious?!
Monica: Why not?!
Monica: Okay well then, Ill fire him today and you go out with him for another week.
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Chandler: I dont know, Monica picked out the flowers.
Monica: What?! You said he was sweet!
Monica: Just dont pick up your phone.
Monica: What do you mean?
Monica: What? So now Im not allowed to fire him?
Monica: I wanted to do this days ago so I think I should go first.
Monica: You didnt tell anybody I was did you?!
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
Monica: (defeated) Oh.
Rachel: (pause) And Monica, what are you going to make?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Rachel: (to Monica) Sorry!! (to Ross) I just feel bad about all that sleep youre gonna miss wishing you were with me!
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Uh well that depends, how are things with Phoebe?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is waiting for Tim who enters.]
Phoebe: Monica!
Monica: Youre fired.
Monica: (simultaneously) Youre fired!
Monica: Me neither! We have to get in! (She runs through the door with Chandler in tow.)
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Tim wait!
Monica: Yeah.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler and Monica are there, of course. Like who else would it be, duh!]
Monica: Oh my God! Ohh! Look at this one! Its so beautiful!
Monica: Hey you guys?
Monica: You have to!
Monica: So Ross, are you gonna bring Mona?
Monica: Oh.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey and Monica are arranging flowers. Chandler walks in.]
Monica: All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us yknow how it happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen?
(Monica and Chandler look shocked as Ross goes to leave.)
Monica: So we do Supergirl.
Rachel: (To Monica) Oh, you did this to him?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
Monica: You didnt dress up either?!
Monica: All right baby, come on! (Rolls the dice) Yes! Yes! I am on fire!
Monica: No!! You have been screwing us all day!
Monica: No, space doody!
Monica: What are you supposed to be?
Monica: What?! Theres only been like four kids.
Chandler: Monicas gotta have the phone in the right place and(Frantic babbling.)
Monica: Hey Joey?
Monica: Yeah
Monica: What?! Really?!
Monica: What?! Come on I am tough! Punch me right here! (Her stomach) As hard as you can!
[Time lapse, Monica is going over to talk to Joey.]
Monica: Oh my God, Phoebe!
Monica: You read comic books right?
[Cut to Joey and Monica.]
Monica: Yeah.
Joey: Monica and I were talking about who could kick whose ass in a fight, you or Ross?
Chandler: (To Monica) You picked Ross?!
(Monica turns around slowly.)
Joey: (To Monica) Hey-hey-hey, I think we might find out the answer to our question.
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Monica: What? I-I bought groceries, I was gonna make you dinner!
MONICA: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?