words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
Monica: I wont give you anything, but youll owe me 2.95.
Monica: Why? (in a motherlike tone) Do you have a report due?
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Monica: Wheres that?
Monica: I dont have an atlas.
Monica: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.
Monica: Hold on.
Monica: Kay, here you go. (Hands her this tiny little globe.)
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Monica: Oh, no thanks.
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Monica: Wow! Its small.
Monica: So you had fun, huh?
Monica: No.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Monica: Oh no, shes still at work, but she told me to tell you to call her.
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Monica: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Monica: Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice.
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Monica: Im also thinking about opening up my own restaurant.
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
Monica: Well, I was having a conversation.
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is lying in front of the bay window, and the phone rings.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food boxes.]
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Monica: Hey, the mans dog just died.
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
Monica: Its frightening.
Monica: Yknow what? Youre-youre right.
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Monica: Really?
Phoebe: (To Monica) Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Yeah? Im proud of me too.
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
Monica: Okay, I got that. Ill escape over there. Ill come back over here. All right, come on Ms. Pac-Man. Its gotRight(She dies.) Well, youre just a little bitch, arent you?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: (reading) Oh dear God!
Monica: What about the rest of Manhattan?!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
Monica: Oh my God, this is horrible!
Monica: I just had the most amazing bath.
Monica: We said at the movies, but
Monica: Joey! (He returns) Now that youre here
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Monica: Hey Joey, come taste this.
Monica to Ross: Hi.
Ross to Monica: Hi.
Monica: No-no, I-I really dont want to talk about it! I dont! (To Rachel) Especially with you. (Goes into her room.)
Monica to Amy: So. Welcome. Is this your first time you're seeing Emma?
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
Monica to Emma: Hey you.
Monica: (turning around and doing that, "I'm making out with someone," thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)
Monica: I can.
Monica: Monica.
Monica: Okay. (Does so.)
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
Monica: Okay, I got my note cards. (To Chandler) Do you got the presents?
The Cooking Teacher: Monica, you go to the head of the class.
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Monica: Im so humiliated!
Phoebe: Great! Umm (Monica closes the door again and Phoebe knocks again.)
Joey: (laughs) Now lets not get carried away. (He walks away as Monica comes over and hugs Chandler from behind.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are entering.]
[Cut to Monica and Ross leaving Joey and Chandlers hotel room in London. As they exit Joey and Chandler enter from the bathroom with both of their pants down around their ankles.]
Monica: Thats right.
The Cooking Teacher: Ah Monica, my star student.
(Chandler glares at her and she shrugs her shoulders. Monica serves again; and Kara returns it.)
Monica: Joey! Im so proud of you!
Monica: You do?
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
Monica: Oh, Im totally crazy, but you-you like the food?
Monica: Its the salts.
Monica: Yes, thank you so much. And again, were so sorry. We could not feel worse about it.
<Monica and Amy turn away and walk into the living room towards the secret closet>
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is poking his head in.]
Monica: Okay.
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Monica: No leg-chewing for us sir.
Monica: Do you guys know what happened to Chandlers barca lounger?
Monica: Are we gonna take a limo?
MONICA: Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?
Monica: Star in a movie.
Monica: Well, Im never gonna listen to you again, thats for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Yknow, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"
Monica: Boy, do I have a surprise for you!
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Monica: Okay, how much?
Phoebe: No ones here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit!
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Hey! Howd it go?
Monica: Shes in the bathroom.
Monica: Now stop it! Double or nothing that she has it by tomorrow!
Monica: Im actually with her on this one.
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Monica: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Rachel are there as Phoebe and Monica enter.]
Monica: Do it!
Ross: Monica!
Monica: What did the doctor say? Any news on when the baby will come?
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
Monica: Oh, okay!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
Monica: Well, I mean I guess there is no harm in putting my name down.
Monica: Doesnt it ever just freak you out that-that youre never gonna be with anybody new again?
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up.) I guess we can bet one more time.
Monica: Two hundred.
Monica: Yeah. I think you have to draw him out. And then- when you do- he's a preppy animal.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
Monica: How are you doing?
Monica: We took a cab. Did you guys walk?
Monica: (entering) Hey. Where's Joey?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Monica: What?! I just touched him and he went over.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke(Yelps in pain as Monica grabs him underwater)Diet Coke.
Monica: Thats right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you dont want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
Monica: (opens the door wearing a robe, but leaves the chain on) Hey, whats up?
Monica: Hey, you wanna see something?
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.