words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
Monica: I wont give you anything, but youll owe me 2.95.
Monica: Why? (in a motherlike tone) Do you have a report due?
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Monica: Wheres that?
Monica: I dont have an atlas.
Monica: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.
Monica: Hold on.
Monica: Kay, here you go. (Hands her this tiny little globe.)
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Monica: Oh, no thanks.
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Monica: Wow! Its small.
Monica: So you had fun, huh?
Monica: No.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Monica: Oh no, shes still at work, but she told me to tell you to call her.
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Monica: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Monica: Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice.
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Monica: Im also thinking about opening up my own restaurant.
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
Monica: Well, I was having a conversation.
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is lying in front of the bay window, and the phone rings.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food boxes.]
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Monica: Hey, the mans dog just died.
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
Monica: Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first!
Monica: Who is it?
Monica: What about the closeness?
Monica: Hey Rach, arent these candlesticks (holds up a pair) mine?
Monica: The players.
Monica: (interrupting) Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke.
Monica: Ohh! Yeah, I forgot.
Monica: Let me try. (Gets up to join them.)
Monica: (joining him) Wow! She is pretty, huh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
Monica: And its a magnet!
Monica: What happened?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
Monica: What?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day, Gary is kissing Phoebe good-bye.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler and Joey are there as Rachel returns from her interview.]
Monica: Man, I would be great in a war! I mean, I really, I think I would make a fantastic military leader. I mean I know I would make General way before any of you guys.
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
Monica: Yes!
Monica: A kiss? What are you talking about?
Monica: Oh, I know! Umm, is it because he's always correcting people's grammar? Whom! Whom! Sometimes it's who!
Monica: You become friends after?
Monica: Wow! Uh what, did he uh, say?
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Monica: What's a 'niffle'?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]
Monica: Yes. Yes, I was. A guy. From work. (Thinks) I'm seeing a guy from work! Ha!
Monica: I dont believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house!
Monica: No, you're the best.
Monica: I am the best.
Monica: Why?
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
Monica: You didn't!
Monica: Hi Chandler.
Monica: I'm crying here!!
Monica: The park huh? A public place.
Monica: Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
Monica: I feel really sad that we're not really there anymore.
Monica: Did not.
Monica: Really?
Monica: Yeah. (They hug.)
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Monica: How do you think I am?! Youve wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face!
MONICA: Yes but my mom got me this job.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating breakfast, Ross is heading for the bathroom.]
Chandler: What a great apology! (To Monica) And you accept! Okay, bye-bye!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Monica: I would love to do it together!
[Monica answers the door. Its Fun Bobby.]
Monica: You al-you already had it?
Monica: Who? Two divorces and Joey?!
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still working on the seating chart as Joey enters.]
Monica: That doesn't seem fair.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: I need more swordfish. (to one of the assistant chefs) Can you get me some more swordfish?
Monica: All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys.
Chandler: Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?
Monica: Oh, we're not doing that. Okay
Monica: And ice!
Monica: (Thinks) Cups.
Fat Monica: Ross! (Wanting to be introduced.)
(Joey and Monica look at each other and shrug. Ross enters with Marcel on his shoulder)
Joey: Well, it involved Monica.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Monica: Were just two people who find each other very attractive. Right?
Monica: Hello Dan! I'm really looking forward to Saturday night! Really, really!
Monica: You must feel horrible. Hey! The guys have free porn!
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Phoebe: Yeah. (Looks.) Oh, thats gone too. This is Monicas bathroom right?!
Monica: (To Rachel) How did work go?
Monica: You stink!
Monica: Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is greeting her Father for their brunch.]
Ross: I just grabbed a spoon. (Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that means.)
Monica: He probably wants you back because you're right for the job.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is buying a muffin as Chandler runs in.]
Monica: All right, let me see. (She grabs the 8 ball.) Will Chandler have sex tonight? (Reads the answer.) Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me.
Monica: Theyre kissing lets just go around them.
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Monica: You sat back and let him have her, you didnt fight at all. Am I right? Do you want the same thing to happen with Emily?
Monica: That's the surprise!
Monica: (overlapping) Let her finish, doctor.
Monica: Y'know go! Go! Right there! (Points)
Rachel: That's fine. So Monica, you are now in control of my love life.
[Cut to the living room where Monica is helping pack a box.]
Phoebe: Yeah well, that's 'cause Monica put me in charge of cups and ice, and Monica is gonna rue the day that she put me in charge of cups and ice.
Monica: (jumping in front of him) No-no! Don't do it! Don't!