words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
Monica: I wont give you anything, but youll owe me 2.95.
Monica: Why? (in a motherlike tone) Do you have a report due?
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Monica: Wheres that?
Monica: I dont have an atlas.
Monica: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.
Monica: Hold on.
Monica: Kay, here you go. (Hands her this tiny little globe.)
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Monica: Oh, no thanks.
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Monica: Wow! Its small.
Monica: So you had fun, huh?
Monica: No.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Monica: Oh no, shes still at work, but she told me to tell you to call her.
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Monica: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Monica: Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice.
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Monica: Im also thinking about opening up my own restaurant.
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
Monica: Well, I was having a conversation.
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is lying in front of the bay window, and the phone rings.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food boxes.]
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Monica: Hey, the mans dog just died.
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
Rachel: Is Monica around? I-I have to ask her something.
Monica: I know! Ill tell you something, we are gonna do that again!
Monica: Hey Rach, come on! We're gonna be late for the eye doctor appointment!
(Monica enters.)
Fake Monica: That I was not expecting.
Monica: I am not wrong.
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
Monica: Just uh, do the right thing. (Uses some breath spray)
Monica: No, I just talked to them.
Monica: Okay. (Starting to go through them) Oh! A coloring book! (Holding it up.)
Monica: Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
Monica: So you're free Thursday, then.
Monica: Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter. Your teeth wouldnt look so bright.
Rachel: (as Monica) Aahh, I'm a... chef at a restaurant uptown.
Fake Monica: Oh. Thanks.
Joey: (to Monica) We did?
(We hear a noise coming from Monica and Rachels apartment.)
Monica: Rach, here's your mail.
Monica: (to Joey) You owe me 20 bucks.
Monica: Very good! (Gives him the keys) What do you need it for anyway?
(Gary exits and Monica rejoins them.)
Joey: No you dont, I just saw you go in there with Monica!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
Monica: Hello? Hello? Oh! Rachel, it's Paolo calling from Rome.
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching the Prom Video and Rachel is about to make her entrance on the video. The italics are portions of the prom video.]
Monica: That's not a question.
Monica: Why would we do that?
Monica: Ah!
Monica: What, Phoebe, did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps!
Monica: You bet that Id screw up?! So all that stuff about hiring me because I was good was
Monica: No. Not after what happened with Steve.
Monica: Got the keys? or Got the keys!
Monica: (panicked) The oven is on.
Monica: No I don't.
Monica: (angry) Joey!
Monica: Well then get it, get it!
Monica: Ok, three kinds of potatoes coming up.
MONICA: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
Monica: But I didn't.
Monica: Why?
Monica: I swear you said you had the keys.
Monica: Why?
Monica: (notices his head) Oh, I'm sorry.
Monica: Stop it, stop it, stop it!
Monica: Well, not... worried, just... wondering.
Monica: (in her Monica-excited-way... TOO LOUD!) Oh my God, I love how thin these walls are!
Monica: I wanna wake up early and go get it for you!
Monica: Ooh, Ugly Naked Dancing!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Monica: W-wait. What is that?
Monica: No, no, I don't.
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Monica: So, how'd it go?
Monica: So what are you gonna be?
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Chandler: Thank you for that! (To Monica) I was not flirting.
(We see through the big window from the outside and see that Monica and Rachel have pictures of their faces pasted onto cardboard cutouts of Pamela Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth wearing their Baywatch swimsuits.)
Monica: Yeah. Rach, are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail?
Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.
Monica: I think it's romantic.
Monica: What?!
(Monica and Rachel look at Phoebe strangely.)
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Okay. So you, me and London. Looking at people differently. Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London with someone.
Fake Monica: Really? Then why are you like that?
Monica: What's the matter?
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Monica: Well umm, they both have a egg yolk and butter base, but a bearnaise has shallots, shirvel, and most importantly tarragon.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the party has started.]
Monica: Hi.
Monica: Ugh, we're screwed, aren't we? You know what? Just tell me on the way to the bird store.
Monica: In. (She joins in the dancing. She still flounders)
Monica: Have you guys picked a date yet?
Monica: Phoebe, I thought you said you know what youre doing?
Rachel: Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!
Monica: Umm, do you have any uhh, moves?
Monica: Hey everybody! It's Fun Bobby!
Monica: I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
MONICA: Alright, you wanna feel better?
Monica: Im in love too! But in an orderly fashion.
Monica: So I'm kissing everyone?
Monica: Why?
Monica: Alright (shrugs). I think it's a big mistake but it's your decision.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse.]
Monica: Oh, no! I mean, obviously we want to see you take your clothes off! You big piece of eye candy!
Monica: No!
Monica: No!
Monica: He's coming. Be cool, be cool, be cool.
Monica: We are not going to whistle.
Monica: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Monica: Again. Yknow what? I think we all did.
Rachel: Oh! I have your key. Here you go. (Hands it to Monica.)
Monica:: Honey why don't you just let it go and ask her out again.
Fake Monica: Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'.
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: (singing) I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found ever since...