words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
Monica: I wont give you anything, but youll owe me 2.95.
Monica: Why? (in a motherlike tone) Do you have a report due?
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Monica: Wheres that?
Monica: I dont have an atlas.
Monica: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.
Monica: Hold on.
Monica: Kay, here you go. (Hands her this tiny little globe.)
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Monica: Oh, no thanks.
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Monica: Wow! Its small.
Monica: So you had fun, huh?
Monica: No.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Monica: Oh no, shes still at work, but she told me to tell you to call her.
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Monica: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Monica: Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice.
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Monica: Im also thinking about opening up my own restaurant.
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
Monica: Well, I was having a conversation.
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is lying in front of the bay window, and the phone rings.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food boxes.]
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Monica: Hey, the mans dog just died.
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
Monica: Ohh, fun!
Monica: So-so there is no party.
Monica: And you're not gonna do that.
Monica: I know. Thanks. (Chandler leaves)
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
Monica: (quietly) Hi!
Monica: We're-we're really sorry we fogged you.
Monica: Oh, can I borrow this? (points to his milk) My milks gone bad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is opening the door.]
Monica: You are?
Monica: Okay.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Monica: Oh, thanks! We'll try to stop by.
Monica: Yeah! You already got the first class tickets; you got the lounge! I mean we should get free stuff too! I mean youre not the only ones on your honeymoon!
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-thats why youre here! Ive got to fire you!
(Rachel wanders into the kitchen where Monica is making Chandler's dinner.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Okay, great!
(There's a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Monica: The fake kind!
Monica: Well it didn't!
Monica: Chandler! (Motions for him to come outside.)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Chandler: Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to. Monica: (realizes Chandler is right. She's almost crying) okay, right. (They hug)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are making out on one of the chairs.]
Monica: Don't get too attached, she's having it cremated.
MONICA: I don't have her number, butt-munch.
Monica: How?
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Monica: Just go over and say hi.
(Monica obeys.)
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
Monica: (upon seeing Rachel she points) Oh.
Monica: Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose!
Monica: Hey, Danny!
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: What do you mean?
Monica: I thought there wasn't a ball?
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Monica: What?! What is it?
Monica: God, I feel so guilty about Ross.
Monica: I'm sorry! It wasn't your whole toe!
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Monica: Chandler! (Follows him out.)
Monica: What?
Chandler: Look, Monica
Monica: You love me!
Monica: Yes, you did!
Monica: Honey, I dont think thats something we need to worry about! First of all hes-hes never gonna tell her how he feels about her. And even if he did you have no idea how shed react.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
Monica: Yeah!
Joey: (sees Monica) Fire trucks! (Chandlers eyes double in size and he turns to Monica who doesn't understand what's happening. Then he turns back to Joey, who says "you're welcome" without a sound)
Monica: I like them a lot.
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Monica: Joey!
Monica: We are! Help us!
Monica: The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13?
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
MONICA: I wanna buy 5 shares of SGJ and I wanna buy them now. C'mon time is money my friend. Thank you. Wooo.
Monica: As a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.
Monica: Thats very funny!
Monica: Phoebe?
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: That really means a lot. Oh, and Mom, dont bite your nails.
Monica: Umm, listen I am sorry, but Ill put some out first thing in the morning.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Ohh, Please?! Im a single mom, with a thirty year old son!!
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: You're not gonna be phased out!
Monica: You can't fire me. I make your decisions and I say, "I'm not fired!" Ha!
MONICA: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Monica: Ross, you were right before, it was just a stupid fight about a room.
[Scene: Monicas, Chandler and Monica are still hugging each other.]
Monica: Bye Dan!
Monica: Chris says theyre closing down the bar.
Ross: (whispering in her ear) Oh, thats right! He called to ask out Monica! That-thats gotta be embarrassing!
Monica: I know.
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: This is so great! And Im gonna be your babys aunt!
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Monica: Feeling a little better sweetie?
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that its too soon. Its gonna break his heart, hes not gonna think that I dont love him anymore.
Monica: Yeah, no, me neither.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Oh no!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Yes it's true.
Rachel: Monica, is this true?