words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
Monica: I wont give you anything, but youll owe me 2.95.
Monica: Why? (in a motherlike tone) Do you have a report due?
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Monica: Wheres that?
Monica: I dont have an atlas.
Monica: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.
Monica: Hold on.
Monica: Kay, here you go. (Hands her this tiny little globe.)
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Monica: Oh, no thanks.
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Monica: Wow! Its small.
Monica: So you had fun, huh?
Monica: No.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Monica: Oh no, shes still at work, but she told me to tell you to call her.
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Monica: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Monica: Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice.
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Monica: Im also thinking about opening up my own restaurant.
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
Monica: Well, I was having a conversation.
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is lying in front of the bay window, and the phone rings.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food boxes.]
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Monica: Hey, the mans dog just died.
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
Monica: And listen to this... (shakes her body so the shells tingle)
Monica: Yeah, you can hear everything through these stupid walls.
Monica: I think I hear curtains closing...
Monica: How about fifty bucks?
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Monica: It could be Amanda!
Monica: And you would?
Monica: We weren’t picking up, it’s Amanda!
Amanda: Yes, I was looking for Monica.
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Monica: One Two Three...
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
Monica: Why don't you just call her?
Monica: Hey Phoebe!
Monica: Is Amanda here yet?
Monica: Hi!
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Monica: Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Monica: (pause) (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures!
Chandler: (without taking his eyes off the bra) You don't know! (Monica just smiles)
Monica: When were we not friends?
(Monica looks shocked)
Monica: Oh My God!
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Monica: Ehm, we were friends in 1992.
Monica: Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!
Monica: Nope! (She turns and leaves)
Monica: You wanna fool around with Joey?
Monica: I have nothing to say to you.
Monica: We are not friends with Phoebe anymore.
[Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall?
Monica: I'm still all those things!
Monica: Why don't you just be straight with her? Tell her the truth.
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?
Monica: (running back into the room) Kiss him, you fool!!
Monica: I won't know what I would do without you.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Monica are curled up on one of the chairs.]
Monica: You're a really good kisser.
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)
Monica: AH YEAAAAH!
Monica: That�s right, because I forbid you to smoke again.
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Monica: (she enters) Hey guys!
Monica: Believe me, that is not why we won't be doing that!
Monica: Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and (to Chandler) you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me... A BABY! {she leaves)
Mike: (doing Monica and mumbling): Serve the ball, chump.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
(Monica and Chandler enter)
Monica: So glad you came!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is sitting in the living room as Monica enters.]
Chandler: I'm not going to Vermont with this Monica!
(He picks up his bat and holds it up, but then Monica and Laura enter the living room again. When Laura sees Joey, she freezes...)
(Monica walks down to Erica's legs to watch the birth.)
Monica: Oh, did you do a picture of Emma?
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
Monica: I'm parked in a garage on Morton!
Monica: I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. (Joey starts to nod Yes.)
Monica: Oh. So nice of her to pull my hair, 'till I dropped the key!
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
MONICA: Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus.
Monica: Alright, 5 more minutes.
Monica: How about, youre moving!! (Grabs a bunch of clothes and throws them into a box. What follows is a brief sequence of Rachel unpacking and Monica packing the same stuff over and over again as Rachel chants "No." and Monica chants "Yes.")
Monica: Yeah, and we've paid for a room, that we're supposed to be in right now!
Joey: Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else?
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Monica: Everybody get your toys! (They all run toward the table with toys)
Monica: (to the dog) What are you barking at?
(Monica turns to see the closed door.)
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Monica: I'm not going to be a part of this! You can't just bring some random guy at home and expect him to be our sperm donor!
Monica: That's how old you are.
Monica: Game?
Monica: Now another way to organise your stuffed animals, is by size.
Chandler: I'm sorry, is this a game for Emma or for Monica?
Monica: What about your massage client?
Monica: I wasn't. Let's get going!
(Chandler and Monica take a sprint to the other wall)
Monica: Thanks!
Monica: No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is writing letters as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Thank you!
Monica: Clearly we were wrong.
Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Monica: Wow! Don't you look nice?!
Monica: You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom!
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)
(Finally, Monica with her parents on her arms start down the aisle.)
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Joey enters the room]
Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)
Monica: Okay, guys, listen, don't forget that tomorrow is the day that Emily gets married again, so whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it.
Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)
Monica: Hey Joey, I don’t think we can use this.
Monica: (hesitatingly) I punched you...?
Monica: Twelve dollars an hour.
Monica: Hey, we're probably fertile, let's go home!
Joey: Yeah, Monica made us!