words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
Monica: I wont give you anything, but youll owe me 2.95.
Monica: Why? (in a motherlike tone) Do you have a report due?
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Monica: Wheres that?
Monica: I dont have an atlas.
Monica: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.
Monica: Hold on.
Monica: Kay, here you go. (Hands her this tiny little globe.)
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Monica: Oh, no thanks.
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Monica: Wow! Its small.
Monica: So you had fun, huh?
Monica: No.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Monica: Oh no, shes still at work, but she told me to tell you to call her.
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Monica: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Monica: Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice.
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Monica: Im also thinking about opening up my own restaurant.
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
Monica: Well, I was having a conversation.
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is lying in front of the bay window, and the phone rings.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food boxes.]
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Monica: Hey, the mans dog just died.
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
Monica and Phoebe: Shut up!
Monica: Light still out?
Phoebe: Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off one item of clothing. It hasnt happened yet, but were all very excited.
Monica: Oh, really? So why was I busting my ass to make this delicious Thanksgiving dinner?
Monica: Oh, that's nice!
Monica: What?! You slept with Jason?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
Monica: Where?
Monica: Excuse me?!
Monica: What are you talking about? She just invited him to the biggest party of the millennium!
Monica: Edward Nevski?
Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Monica: (interrupting him) No-no-no, dont-dont do the accent. Youve got to see her again.
Monica: (on phone) Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? (Listens) Yes, hold on. (To Rachel) Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.
Monica: Sorry, lets go back! Cause youve got more to say.
MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
Monica: Wait! Oh my God! I cant get out!
Monica: Oh, you're breaking up with Tony?
Monica: Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger.
Monica: Now, this is last minute so I want to apologize for the mess. Okay?
Monica: Look, not that I enjoy talking about people who I went to high school with, cause I do, but umm, maybe we could talk about something else? Like you, I dont even know where you work?
Monica: Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Rachel and Monica enter. Rachel is limping and leaning on Monica for support.]
Monica: Wow! Play that message for Emily and this whole problem goes away!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Monica: (looking out window) Oh, god help us.
Monica: And well, we probably shouldnt see each other anymore. Im sorry.
Monica: Which?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica walks in with one of those knitted Rasta hats.]
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
Monica: You've never met Bob, have you?
Monica: You have to go to London!
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
Frank: Yeah! Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there?
Monica: What?
Monica: Wow. My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity.
Monica: Oh. Maybe they're- napping.
Monica: All right, he's keys are in the drawer. Y'know what? I also need some cash.
Monica: How, how did that happen?
Bob: Monica, Monica is great.
Monica: Well if you want a problem? Ill give you a problem!
Monica: Could've played Monopoly, but nooooo.
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Hanukkah. Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross. And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Monica: Oh my god.
Monica: (laughs) Well thats the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide!
Monica: Oh my god, what were you thinking?
Monica: Really?
Monica: Cause I dont want to encourage this kind of behaviour.
(Chandler is shocked and Rachel gets scared of Monica very quickly.)
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)
Monica: Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her.
Monica: Yeah, like youre gonna be pregnant. I mean pregnant.
(Monica and Joey enter.)
Monica: Hi.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is cooking as a waitress enters carrying a plate of food that has been sent back.]
Monica: I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific.
Monica: It was okay. Shes still kind of depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend.
[Scene: Iridium, Monica is working as Frannie enters.]
Monica: That was some hot love you gave me! I'm gonna go get ready.
Monica: No! No. Theyre umm Theyre just uh ground beef smileys. (Holding up one of the shells.)
Monica: You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! WhatWhy wouldnt you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannies husband walks up.) Stuart!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
Monica: What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls.
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Monica: You could do that!
Monica: How much longer?
Monica: Oh. I'm sorry it didn't work out.
Monica: Good for you, Joey.
[Scene: Joey's bedroom, time lapse. He's asleep and dreaming. In his dream he's doing the crossword puzzle with wait for it Monica!]
Monica: Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this. (she pushes Chandler on the couch and brushes her hair and shells against Chandler's chest) You like that, right? (again, she brushes her hair against his chest and hums...)
Monica: How-how did that happen?
Monica: Why not?
Monica: Why would someone do that?! ...One might wonder.
Monica: That is so unfair!
Monica: I could do that.
Monica: Well, what's the part?
(Monica gasps.)
Monica: Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.
Ross: Monica? You're Mom.
Monica: Yeah, sure... uhm, I'm devastated, obviously... (to the rest) Did you think the neighborhood was homey? (Chandler enters)
Monica: For what?
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God.
Monica: Alright, alright, alright...
Monica: Oh, you got the whole night, huh?
Monica: You got the job?! Why didnt you tell me?
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Monica: Whose little ball of paper is this?!
Chandler: (arm-in-arm with Monica) Hey Pheebs!
Monica: Look, I- I could go on pretending-
[Scene: Fancy restaurant, Monica, Joey, Angela, and Bob are seated at the table.]
Monica: Matt Guire, Mark Lynn, Ben Wire
Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!
Monica: (leaping off of the couch and runs up) Wait! Did you say 'G.Stephanopoulos?'
Monica: My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it?
Monica: Maybe this wasn't your shot.
Monica: I think he's shy.
Monica: We're kidding. C'mon, tell us!