words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
Monica: I wont give you anything, but youll owe me 2.95.
Monica: Why? (in a motherlike tone) Do you have a report due?
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Monica: Wheres that?
Monica: I dont have an atlas.
Monica: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.
Monica: Hold on.
Monica: Kay, here you go. (Hands her this tiny little globe.)
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Monica: Oh, no thanks.
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Monica: Wow! Its small.
Monica: So you had fun, huh?
Monica: No.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Monica: Oh no, shes still at work, but she told me to tell you to call her.
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Monica: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Monica: Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice.
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Monica: Im also thinking about opening up my own restaurant.
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
Monica: Well, I was having a conversation.
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is lying in front of the bay window, and the phone rings.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food boxes.]
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Monica: Hey, the mans dog just died.
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
MONICA: That is wild.
Monica: Yeah? What does she think of your little science project?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the bachelor party has ended and Monica is trying to explain herself to Chandler.]
Monica: Okay! Very funny! Somebody let me out please?! Come on, Im cold! (She spills something.) And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out! (the door opens)
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Monica: Youre not gonna mess it up.
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is in her bedroom.]
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
MONICA: Hell, I wanna see Joey.
MONICA: All I say is, she better get the job.
Monica: Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof!
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, and and, I'm just gonna pay for this with a check.
MONICA: Never call me from that phone.
MONICA: Rachel, that's all we do.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are there, Joey enters wearing an old looking hat.]
Monica: Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are watching Phoebe sleep.]
Monica: Why would I have the keys?
Monica: All right. The super couldnt figure out what it did. A $200 an hour electrician couldnt figure out what it did. Ive had seven pretty serious shocks. I officially give up.
(At Monica and Rachel's)
Monica: Hey, guess what Im doing tonight.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is ranting about Jill to Chandler and Monica.]
MONICA: (enters) Oh my god.
Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
[Time lapse. Monica and Rachel, fixed up somewhat, emerge from a bedroom]
ROSS: Monica!
MONICA: Oh, sorry.
Monica: (To Chandler) You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?!
Monica: Yeah, in-in-in the bathroom.
MONICA: Oh, thank you!
MONICA: Ok.
MONICA: All of us.
(at Monica and Rachel's)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
MONICA: Like?
MONICA: Charity?
MONICA: Alright, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in shower at the gym, and no I don't look.
MONICA: You know what? You're right.
CHANDLER: Gee, Monica, what's in the bag?
MONICA: Do I know you?
(at Monica and Rachel's)
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
MONICA: That was amazing!
(Monica enters from her bedroom)
MONICA: Uh, good.
Monica: Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not gonna let 'em! And we're not a couple of suckers!
MONICA: (on phone) Yeah, hi, it's Monica. I just got a page.
MONICA: It's work.
Monica: Thank you. My hair is very amused.
(Everyone goes over to comfort Monica)
[Scene: At Monica and Rachel's.]
MONICA: There's my little boy. (Ben starts crying again)
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
MONICA: You know, a party, or--
MONICA: Oh my god.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Monica: (gets up) OK, how does everybody like their burgers?
MONICA: Jacket now.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone is there. Monica is watching stock prices on a business channel.]
Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?
MONICA: All right, what's goin' on?
MONICA: So'd you guys have fun?
Monica: I don't know. Look he's a great guy and I love being with him but... you know. Things happen, and they happen. You don't plan these things.
MONICA: Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
MONICA: Really?
MONICA: That would be the work of a Blowfish.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is returning from Monica and Rachel's with his bedding. Eddie is standing at the bar with his dehydrator and loads of fruit.]
(Monica shakes her head.)
Monica: Whaaat!
MONICA: Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while?
Monica: Hi Dad! I can still call you that right?
MONICA: Chandler, you're not gonna die alone.
Monica: Oh, I'm- I'm so sorry!
Monica: Its okay, cause y'know what? You dont really need me for the business.
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
Monica: (Remotely turning off the television) okay, Pheebs, theyre gone.
MONICA: That was you?
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the group is coming back from the roof.]
(They go open the door and reveal Monica being spun around on the floor polisher and getting the cord wrapped around her legs.)
MONICA: Yeah, I'll be fine.� You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction.
[Monica enters.]
Monica: See if he has ice.
MONICA: So your first whole weekend without Ben, what're you guys gonna do?
Monica: Vividly.
Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).
MONICA: Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not supposed to think about.
Monica: Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. (She shows this with her index finger, mimicking it pushing something up)
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Phoebe: (with her mouthful) Hi Monica.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Monica: Oh Joey, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
Monica: That's Dudley Moore. I said I wanted it like Demi Moore.