words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
Monica: I wont give you anything, but youll owe me 2.95.
Monica: Why? (in a motherlike tone) Do you have a report due?
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Monica: Wheres that?
Monica: I dont have an atlas.
Monica: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.
Monica: Hold on.
Monica: Kay, here you go. (Hands her this tiny little globe.)
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Monica: Oh, no thanks.
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Monica: Wow! Its small.
Monica: So you had fun, huh?
Monica: No.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Monica: Oh no, shes still at work, but she told me to tell you to call her.
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Monica: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Monica: Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice.
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Monica: Im also thinking about opening up my own restaurant.
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
Monica: Well, I was having a conversation.
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is lying in front of the bay window, and the phone rings.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food boxes.]
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Monica: Hey, the mans dog just died.
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
Monica: Thats right Patrick, bye-bye!
Monica: Hes great! I mean we have such a good time together! Hes so funny, and sooo sweet, and Im not attracted to him at all!!
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Monica: Oh God! Hes gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
Ross: You go get em. (to Monica) What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Phoebe: (looks at Monica) Hey, yknow what might cheer you up?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are eating Monicas dinner.]
Monica: Weeeell, it's rum, and-
Monica: Well at least, Im going to mute it.
Monica: Chandler.
Chandler: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler)
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
Monica: What?
Monica: I will.
Monica: Yes.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
Monica: No, Ill do it. You just stick to your job.
Monica: That's your call.
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Rachel and Monica are waiting as the doctor arrives.]
Monica: No really, they're OK.
Monica: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
Monica: Well, what happened?
Monica: Was it...
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Monica: Were supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes.
Monica: (startled) Ahh! Arent you dressed yet?
[Scene: Rachels Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]
Monica: What are peanut butter fingers?!
Monica: Ok, for my next song I think I�ll sing something a little more upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the PointerSisters �I am so excited�. And make it bouncy!
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
Phoebe: Monica, leave him alone!
Monica: (picking up the book) Chicken Soup for the Soul?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
Monica: Oh, we used to drive each other crazy playing the shadow game.
Monica: You just put an empty carton back in the fridge!
Monica: Uhm, we just wanna give you a heads-up. Bill and Colleen hate us.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Monica: You sold me out.
Monica: You had no right to go out with him.
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
Monica: Fine!
(Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear.) Monica and Rachel: Ow! Ow! Ow!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is on the phone, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
Monica: This is so typical. Y'know, we give, and we give, and we give. And then- we just get nothing back! And then one day, y'know, it's just, you wake up, and "See you around!" Let's go, Phoebe.
Monica: A small puff of air, now come on!
Monica: Wh?! What about my allergies?!
Monica: (laughs sarcastically) Rachel is not going to pick your stupid guy.
Chandler: (smiling cheekily) I do! Want a hint? huh? "I do" (Monica looks confused, so Chandler repeats) "I do".
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
Monica: Oh yeah? Well when you learned how to dance did you forget how to put on underpants?
Monica: Look what I found in the drawer... (Chandler looks up from his book.) And you said I'd never wear this...
Rachel: Yeah I am, I am! Oh, but first of all, Monica, I would like to introduce you to my very talented colleage and more importantly my wonderful friend Gavin Mitchelle.
Monica: No, its okay, not only did I get to go out with Chip Matthews, I got to dump Chip Matthews.
Monica: (starting to get up) I gotta go water Pete's plants. (stops) Y'know what, if he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, everyone except Joey is there.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, everyone except Ross is decorating the tree.]
Monica: Ooooh! (Rachel now succeeds in getting downstairs.) And-and-and what-what's this? (Points again.)
Monica: Well, um, because mainly, um, they dont like you. Im sorry.
(Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe enter.)
Monica: Ross!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Monica: Ohh!
Monica and Phoebe: (sympathetic) Ohh!
Phoebe: Yeah. Not looking for dates. (Monica turns in horror.)
Monica: And hes a great brother!
Monica: You said the baby.
Monica: What?! Excuse me!
Joey: (To Monica) Here comes the temper.
Monica: Okay, fine I admit it! I feel terrible! Would you please rub this on my chest? (She hands him some of that Vicks Vap-O-Rub to put on.)
MONICA: God, you are so lucky. I mean, I mean. . . you know what I mean.
Monica: How was your first day?
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Rachel, if you want the little round waffles, you gotta have to wait until I find the little waffle iron.
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!
Monica: Yeah! Thats why Im sleeping with him on the side.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there to watch Joey's first scene as Dr. Drake Remoray.]
Monica: Phoebe, stop writing about us!
Monica: (still writing) Phyllis sees what Im doing.
Monica: Thats okay, this is more important than fruit (pause) (angrily) on my ceiling! You broke up?!
[Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Monica: (looking out the window) Hey Joey! Isn't that the girl that waved at you the other day?
Monica: We said six!
Monica: What time?
Monica: Ugh!
Monica: I-I am serious, I mean, we're, we're all over each other all the time.
Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what’s-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don’t you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!
Monica: He said he's really gonna miss you guys. (dubious look)
Monica and Ross: (holding both of their hands above their heads making rabbit ears with their fingers.) Bunny!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Oh sure, now you�re Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle�s funeral
Monica: Do you remember that jacket that you love so much, that you thought was too expensive?