words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Monica: Rachel?!
Monica: Would you ever be a surrogate for anyone?
Monica: Hey, we would still be living here if hadnt gotten the question wrong!
Monica: In that cute, little, sweet way she just did?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are arguing.]
Monica: Hes in a different room! Hes really that loud?
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Monica: Okay, count to three. 1. 2. 3!
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Okay! Okay, let's race! First one there wins! Ha-ha! (Runs out the door and everyone watches her leave.)
Monica: Rach, youre gonna come though arent you?
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Monica: Were hanging out.
Monica: I never knew that either.
Monica: Phoebe! You're sick, you shouldn't play. You should just go home, get in bed, and stay there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
Monica: Ill pick it up for you!
Monica: Wait a minute. What about that summer during college that you lived with grandma, and you tried to make it as a dancer?
Monica: Oh, dad, turn it off.
Monica: But it didnt. Say hello to Mrs. Chatracus.
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
Mrs. Geller: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
Monica: (to Ross) I can't believe you did that.
Monica: No. No, just, just, just a couple more boxes. It-it-its no big deal, all right, Im-Im cool. You gotta help me out with a couple more boxes!
Monica: Yeah Joey shes Rachels got this really big work problem, and it is a head scratcher. Wow! (To Chandler) Yknow what, if were gonna make dinner were gonna have to leave. Yeah. (She and Chandler exit.)
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
Rachel, Monica, Roy, and Chip: Bye.
Monica: (seeing the decision) Nooooo. Youre really not going?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.]
Monica: You know what, everything's gonna be okay.
Monica: Just the matter of ...payment?
Monica: How's it going with her?
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Monica: Oh stop it. Joey already told me.
Monica: What?
Monica: I thought that was a good thing.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Why do you need it?
Monica: Men are such idiots.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Rachel is singing some kind of song.]
Monica: Nooo!
Monica: Sooo?
Monica: That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving.
Monica: The baby shower for Phoebe!
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Monica: Whoa whoa whoa! Wherere you goin?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is returning from shopping and Rachel is there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is working on a new song.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang except Chandler is there.]
MONICA: You go girl. I can't pull that off can I?
Monica: Come on guys! Lets go! Come on, its second down.
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
Monica: Hi Phoebe.
Monica: Hormones.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
Monica: Two girls and a boy?
Monica: (lying down on a mattress) Oh! Ohhhhh! Oh! Phoebe, come here. Aw, this is my new bed. You gotta feel this bad boy.
Monica: Oh my God, sit down! Sit down! How long as it been since weve seen each other?
Monica: What?!
Rachel: What?! She made the tea! (Points to Monica.)
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Rachel, get the book! The book!
Monica: The Bible?!
Monica: Yeah, theres one right under the cabinet.
Monica: How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!!
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Monica: What, he doesnt like Josh?
Monica: What did you tell them?
Monica: How do you feel?
Monica: Some moms do that.
Monica: Yeah.
Monica and Rachel: What?!
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Oh, sweetie! (They all hug.)
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
Fat Monica: Oh, why? Why? What happened?
(Joey and Ross go into Monica and Rachel's apartment)
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Yep! You got the tickets?
Monica: Yeah, okay, give that a try!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, Monica is telling Phoebe where everything is.]
Monica: You're from Yonkers! Your last name is Buffo-Martisis!
Ross: (looking at the coffee table where his money was) Hey umm, was-was Monica here?
Fat Monica: Yeah, yeah, and you were going him y'know, your flower.
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. Theres....been a fire.
Monica: Its nice.
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Monica: Okay, just get a lot better. (pause) Fast.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are finishing up some cookies.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.