words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Chandler: I suppose that Monica will have the � manipulative shrew.
Monica: Hi. It is so, so nice to meet you.
Monica: I don't know about that.
Monica: (Gets up) Okay, okay. You two (to Phoebe and Rachel) go get the dessert. And I'll let you in.
Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Monica: (naughty in doorway) Welcome home. I�ve missed you. join me in the bedroom?
Monica: Thank you. (To Chandler.) I think I just had a tiny orgasm.
Monica: Uh, good hands. (she holds Chandler hands) Healing hands.
Monica: We don’t?
Monica: (thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Monica: God works in mysterious ways.
Monica: But she liked us.
Chandler: She likes Doctor Chandler and Reverend Monica.
Monica: (Almost crying) Please.. please, we are so close.
Monica: It's too late for apologies.
Monica: (sniffing) Maybe she will. Uh! Why couldn't I have been a Reverend?
Monica: (She gives Joey a you-are-so-stupid-look) Ok, ten.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]
Phoebe: Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyoneanyway.
Janice: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler and Monica enter.]
MONICA: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
Monica: I can't believe it! (pause) I lost!
Monica: (pointing to a picture on the table) I-Is... Is that a picture?
Monica: Look, doctor!
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. (holds up the sonogram)
Chandler: Well, our names really are Monica and Chandler. We're from New York.
(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)
Monica: But we were hoping that since we told you the truth that you still might consider...
Joey: No-no! No! I mean it's gonna be all smelling like Monica!
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Monica: God bless you Chandler Bing!
Monica: I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time!
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica sits on the couch and Phoebe is pacing up and down the room.]
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Monica are walking down the sidewalk after his office holiday party.]
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Chandler enters the door.]
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Monica: Nancy doesn’t smoke!
Monica: So? What do you think of the house?
Monica: So? Do you think we should get it?
Monica: Hey! You smell like perfume and cigarettes.
Monica: Don’t you love the huge yard?
Monica: Wait a minute, you stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac-Man while I went off to work like some kind of chump?!
Monica: I think we should.
Monica: Okay. Right. Oh my God that is gonna be so hard.
Monica: This is huge!
Monica: How bad you wanna smoke, right now.
Monica: No, he’s picking up dinner, why, what’s up?
Monica: What?
Monica (puzzled): All right...
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God that’s awful! What did you think of the house?
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Monica: (turns to them) Ok, alright, you guys, you'd better sit down, this is pretty big.
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Monica: And about an hour ago, we made an offer.
Joey: All right. Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time, and sure there are rules, but then you went to London. Oh, no, but thats different. I mean, there are rules there, too! You know what I mean?
Monica: I know! Hey, you havent been practising the routine, have you?
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
Rachel: Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
Monica: Every year.
Monica: Technicality!
Monica: Deal!
Monica: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Monica: Maurice.
Monica: That’s not even a word!
Phoebe: And how none of it matters when the people really love each other. (Chandler and Monica kiss.) And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as its a compliment.
Monica: (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Monica and Rachel: What?!
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: She really left.
Monica: And?
Monica: Well, there you go.
(Chandler and Monica hug)
Monica: We can't afford that.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Yeah, we'll be okay.
Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)
Phoebe: (to Monica) You're gonna be okay?
Monica: We sure are.
Monica: And a baby...
Monica: Hey, see that snippy guy over there? Hes the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.
Monica: Oh my God! My God! We've got the house !?
Monica: Rachel, this is yours.
Monica: I know.
Monica: All right, everybody open them!
Monica: Enjoy!
Monica: Hey, let me tell them!