words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Monica: Im actually with her on this one.
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Monica: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Rachel are there as Phoebe and Monica enter.]
Monica: Do it!
Ross: Monica!
Monica: What did the doctor say? Any news on when the baby will come?
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
Monica: Oh, okay!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
Monica: Well, I mean I guess there is no harm in putting my name down.
Monica: Doesnt it ever just freak you out that-that youre never gonna be with anybody new again?
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up.) I guess we can bet one more time.
Monica: Two hundred.
Monica: Yeah. I think you have to draw him out. And then- when you do- he's a preppy animal.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
Monica: How are you doing?
Monica: We took a cab. Did you guys walk?
Monica: (entering) Hey. Where's Joey?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Monica: What?! I just touched him and he went over.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke(Yelps in pain as Monica grabs him underwater)Diet Coke.
Monica: Thats right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you dont want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
Monica: (opens the door wearing a robe, but leaves the chain on) Hey, whats up?
Monica: Hey, you wanna see something?
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
Monica: Hey. (Sits down on the arm of the couch.)
Monica: Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?
Monica: Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoke oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.
Monica: What?
Monica: So were gonna try? I mean, are we trying?
Monica: What?!!
Monica: We are pretty good.
Monica: (the hands still there) When-when you were little you slept through the Grand Canyon. (She actually itches her nose this time.)
Monica: What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies?
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: No, not here. Maybe here.
(Joey gives him and odd look.� Monica gives a similar look.)
Monica: Well, we could start trying. Now.
Monica: Okay, hold on a sec.
Monica: And its so clean!!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]
Monica: (bursting into tears) My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages.
Monica: Spoon? (Hands him one and he tastes it.) So, what do you think?
Monica: I think we found a place.
Monica: Umm, wait! Do you want to set the mood a little?
Monica: It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Does that sound like Janice?
Monica: We could, or we can have sex in it.
Monica: Oh, Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time.
Monica: yeah oh my god, I'm so moved.
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Monica: No! No-no! I love it! It is a great present! In fact, why dont you go home and wait for the thank you card?
Rachel: Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
[Scene: Back in the kitchen at the funeral. Phoebe is there, Monica enters.]
Rachel: Here. (Hands her to Monica.)
Ben: Auntie Monica!! (He runs to hug her.)
Monica: Whats the matter?
Monica: Its okay honey, youll find a name.
Monica: Okay. Its Emma.
Monica: Take it.
Monica: I dont want to say.
Monica: Its clearly an Emma.
[Scene: The Portrait Studio, Monica is waiting for Chandler to make another attempt at taking a good picture.]
Monica: I cant believe were here.
Monica: I know there'll be other houses, but it's just so... I love that one so much.
Monica: About what?
Monica: Isnt she beautiful?
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh and I need to talk to you.
Monica: This is a garden view room, and we paid for an ocean view room.
Monica: Umm, and looking at people differently.
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.) And-and Chandlers tellin ya how much he hates marriage?!
Monica: (following her) Ill give you really good odds.
Monica: I want a baby.
Monica: Deal!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Hello sir, you know Monica.
Monica: Okay, all right, I think youre great, I think youre sweet, and youre smart, and I love you. But you will always be the guy who peed on me.
Monica: I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.
Monica: Damnit! Damnit!! Heres your fifty bucks! (Pays Phoebe.)
Monica: It wasnt fun?!
Monica: Daddy?!
Monica: Yeah, were trying to get pregnant.
Monica: Well, thats okay dad, we-we can wait until later.
Monica: Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be well recieved. <pinches Ross' arm>
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is standing in the kitchen ready to leave for the rehearsal dinner.]
Monica: I dont feel good right now.
Monica: Hey.
Monica: What?
[Scene: Rachels Room, Monica is entering.]