words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Monica: Joey's gonna be *so* upset.
Monica: Seriously, you don't think we should tell him?
Monica: Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.
Monica: What if he reads it in the paper?
Rachel: Oh, big glamour night. Me and Monica at Laundorama.
Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?
Monica: Thanks.
Erica: No, he's in prison. (More shocked looks from Monica and Chandler)
Monica: Love it!
Monica: Well Im not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head Im thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Chandler (to Monica): Sure.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
(Chandler and Monica are speechless).
Phoebe: I dont know! (frantically points at Monica)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Monica: This dinner is gonna be so great! In your face, last year "me"!
Chandler: (To Monica and with bulging eyes) Why!?
Monica: No, actually, we're buying the house next door. (Janice gasps)
Monica: (looks confused and scared) I don't know why.
Monica: Oh, who cares, they still love me! "I am so excited..."
Monica: But we love our house.
Monica: Olivia? I thought she was marrying Connor! (pause) Oh right, real life more important.
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
Monica: Okay, you come up with an idea.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One Where The Monkey Gets Away, Rachel is watching a soap opera with Marcel.]
Monica: Mira, Ross, Marcel se llevo el control remoto. (Look, Ross, Marcel's got the remote.)
Monica: This is different! Greg and Jenny are in a relationship.
Monica: Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it.
(Chandler and Monica enter the room)
Monica: Hey, Rach, you're leaving tomorrow, shouldn't you be packing?
Monica: Oh my God! I have nothing left to teach you! (they hug)
Monica: Here, let me help you. (they both start opening boxes)
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
Monica: You don't mind me touching your belly, do you?
Monica (to Ross): Okay, well, stop staring at them.
Monica: (walking around with her headset still on) OK LET'S GET THESE CHAIRS OUT HERE! Gunther, hit the Christmas lights. (He does so and the lights above the chairs light up. Monica looks satisfied) Okay, who left the ice sculpture (picks up a piece of ice from the ground) ON THE STEAM GRATE? (nobody answers)
Monica: From?
Monica (enters the room): Are, are you kidding? This is packing?
Chandler: I didn't know Monica had these!
Monica: Hey! Where's Mike?
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Come here, I'll make you a drink.
Monica: Ok, you're being wierd. Do you want sex or did you do something bad?
Rachel: Ok. Monica?
Monica: Yeah?
Monica: Sure.
Monica: No.
Monica: Rachel used to live in that room.
Monica: What?
Monica: That is so sweet. (they hug)
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch.Monica and Chandler enter]
Rachel: Well, these aren't mine. Maybe Monica used to use them with...
Monica: This is not, what I�m wearing. I�m ovulating and Chandler�s gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
Monica: This is so great! Now we can enter into doubles tournaments!
Monica: Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, I'm going to the salon.
Monica: You cried yesterday at the six o'clock news.
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
Monica: (to Ross) So, I guess you're next. You're ready?
Monica: Yeah. Mine too.
MONICA: Why, it's dinner for six. 5 steaks, and an eggplant for Phoebe.
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Hello, Chandler. (Phoebe has a huge smile on her face.)
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
Monica: I hope Ross isn't too upset.
Monica: Uh, where do you think you're going?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. The others are still there.]
Monica: Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler enters. Rachel and monica are seated at the table.]
Monica: You did? How?
Monica: Oh my God! YOU FORGOT THE PIES? Well, I cannot believe this. You force me to make dinner, then you're an hour late and you forget the one little thing that I asked you to do.
Monica: Nana liked it rough!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is watching TV and Monica is cooking]
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Erica, are you okay?
Monica: Okay, okay... Okay, I feel a little better.
Monica: Oh... Yes, I'm sure. Oh honey, let's go. Okay bye everyone.
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: Erica, are you okay?
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Sorry! I'm justI'm not very good at this! I'm a terrible liar and I hate having to lie to Rachel!
Monica: What?
Monica: What kind of social situation are you comfortable with?
Monica: To use the bathroom.
Monica: Breathe, breathe, breathe... Good.
Monica: Alright, I'll be right back.
Monica: You'll be fine. Nah, you won't, but I'll be back in two minutes.
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Monica: Okay, now this one is rare, this one is medium well! Now go-go-go! (Phoebe enters) Hey Phoebe!
(Monica gives Chandler a look.)
Monica: It's just a little bit more, honey.
Monica: Oh, you did it!
Monica: Chandler, you don't wanna miss this. This is the birth of your child! It's the miracle of life!
Monica: It's a... It's a boy!
Amanda: (To Monica) Hello!
Monica: So, howd the lasagne go over? (listens) Really?! Good. So you owe me three pretty things. (listens) Yeah, Ive been thinking a lot about you too. (listens) I know. Its hard this whole platonic thing. (listens) Its a word!
Monica: (To Erica) Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much.
(Monica looks at him.)
Monica: So the wedding caterer sent me this list of twelve appetizers and I have to narrow it down to six.
Monica: I... I'm sorry, who should be along in a what now?