words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica are discussing how to bribe the Maitre d'.]
Monica: No! Ace is low! Ace, two, three, four!
Monica: It's easy! Just keep it casual! Give him a kind word, shake his hand and give him the money!
Monica: Why don't you come over tonight? And I'll make you favorite dinner.
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
Monica: (very excited) Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard!
Monica: Wow! You made a profit!
Monica: All right! Come on Monica! Look alive! Come on, look alive!
Monica: Because we won our apartment back!
Monica: Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
Monica: Yeah! Oh yes!
Monica: It's not Richard! Okay? It's this new guy and he's really good.
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Monica: Bye!
Monica: Well, it just seems that
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
Monica: Totally!
Monica: Oh good.
Danny: (Looking at Monica) Absolutely! Is Friday okay?
Phoebe: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Joey: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Monica: I'm kidding! I'm kidding!
Phoebe: Oh, right! (Hands Monica back her sunglasses.)
Monica: Okay. (Monica backs off.)
Monica: Oh, thats great! I mean Im-Im sorry, but Im so happy for you. And now I can work for you!
Monica: Dr. Miller? (She covers her right eye and reads from the chart) P E C F D.
Monica: They're still in my coat.
Monica: I love you.
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
Dr. Miller: Very good Monica! You know where they are.
Ross: (entering) Hey! So, uhh, Amanda just-just dropped me off. Yeah, that's one of the things I love about her, she's...uh, she's old enough to drive. (to Monica) So uhh, I guess you're not going to mom and dad's tonight?
Monica: Changes?
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
(Monica stares at him.)
MONICA: Rachel you have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Windkeeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered.
Monica: Okay. (She picks a card.) Four.
Rachel: (flinches again) Monica! Come on!
Monica: I wanna say good-bye at the car!
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Phoebe: Monica! We lived together for years! Ive seen you naked!
Monica: Me too. (they all leave)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Rachel, are getting ready for dinner.]
Monica: Not even close.
Monica: All right.
Monica: Now, open your eyes.
Monica: Put your head back.
Monica: Sit down. (They sit down on the couch.)
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Then why did you move?!
Monica: No drops!
Monica: Oh my God, I was thinking four.
Monica: (spitting out the eyedropper) Damn! It's empty!
Rachel: Monica! Stop it!
MONICA: Ok everybody, it's time for flan.
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Monica has all the supplies she needs and is getting ready to leave.]
MONICA: I thought she just had one.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica have returned from Julies.]
Monica: Well, its a set and they should probably stay together.
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone is ringing.]
Monica: (answering it) Hello?
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
Monica: Go!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is telling Chandler and Monica about her day.]
Rachel: Look! This is ridiculous. We should be packing you!! (She knocks over Monica, grabs a box, and runs into the kitchen.)
Monica: Well, if you wanna get a drink later we can.
(As she moves to get it, Monica yells )
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in the living room and Phoebe is standing in the kitchen as the phone rings.]
Monica: No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.
[Cut to Monica and Rachel's]
Chandler: Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so
Monica: See now-now youre taking them away from their home.
Monica: The Richard.
Monica: The strange part was, he was really nice, umm and he looks great, but I didn't feel anything at all!
Monica: Really?
Monica: I know.
Monica: What?
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
MONICA: Right now, Joey and Chandler's, go now.
Monica: I got you a present!
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Monica: But we can go, right?
Monica: Okay!
Monica: No.
Monica: (overhearing that) Why don't you just go out with her!
Monica: Ditch you? Phoebe, you were pregnant with the triplets!
Monica: Okay!
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy plane-aversary.
Monica: Really?!
Monica: Great!
Monica: Come on! Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke!
Monica: He's... our age.
Monica: I'm making cookies for Erica. And oh, by the way, we have to leave for the airport soon, her plane comes in about an hour.
Monica: Hey Rach, remember that great song, Me, Myself, and I? (And on the "I" part she mimics poking her eye.)
Monica: Phoebe, you don't eat animals.
Monica: Who are you talking too?