words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Monica: (returning) Okay! (Sets down a huge 3" 3-ring binder on the table.)
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Monica: I know. (pause) I need more pie. (goes and gets some)
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
Monica: Yes.
MONICA: What's to know? Buy sell, high low, bears bulls...[on the phone] Yes Manhattan...yeah telephone number of the stock...selling store.
Monica: Chicken? I could eat some chicken.
Monica: You bet! No TV or anything! (she gets up from the sofa and goes to the kitchen area)
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!
Monica: Bye!
Monica: I have to be up in seven minutes.
Monica: Actually, I did!
Monica: Sweetie, I think the glasses look great. They make you look really sexy.
Monica: Joey!
Monica: Them?! Who's them?
Monica: Ohhh, oh my God! Oh my God! She knows about us!
Monica: She's bluffing!
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Monica: Of course.
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Monica: I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)
Chandler: Because I'm in love with Monica!!
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Monica: (starts for the door) Well theres some people who do want to marry me.
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Monica: Well actually, Ross doesn't.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Monica: Hey, you guys!
Monica: Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?
Monica: Oh thats so sweet.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
Monica: Chandler!!
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Monica: Hey!
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
MONICA: Really Phoebs? Because, you know, you'd have to be an actual waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy like mad as Ross enters.]
Monica: Hey, maybe I'll drive you up there! I'd like to buy some tickets myself!
MONICA: Rache, I think we have enough regular lamps.
Monica: What about the second minister we meet with? I kinda liked him.
Monica: No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! (she shakes the wrist and it's more painful) Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! (pause) Oh my God! I can't play!
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
Monica: Are you funny? Tell us a joke!
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
Rachel: (as Monica) Thanks! I've been here about six years, and Rachel moved in a few months ago.
Monica: Its your suitcase. Were going to Las Vegas.
Monica: Here! (She sets a bag down in front of him.)
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Monica: Yes!
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
Monica: How much did ever really win before?
MONICA: [to Ross] Looks like he's playin' baseball.
Monica: (entering from the bathroom) Hey! Happy Anniversary!
Monica: Why not?!
Monica: What?!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Monica: What?
Monica: That cant be your father.
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it.
Monica: New York.
Helena: Monica! Where are you from?
Monica: (To Chandler) You okay?
Helena: We? (Looks at Monica who nods.)
Chandler: Actually Monica and I are engaged.
Monica: Old?
Monica: Thats much better.
Monica: (gets up and gasps) Oh my God! Rachel!! (Rachel is stunned to see that her long lost friend is still fat.) (Monica goes over and gives Rachel a big bear hug, which is quite easy for her.) You look terrific!
Monica: Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open.
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Monica: That other play?
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
Monica: I had to go with the odds Rach.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Monica: Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Where's Monica?
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
Monica: Honey, we gotta go!
Monica: Really?
Monica: I just, I cant believe that we made it!
Monica: Im sorry but nothing.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Monica: What is that?
(Monica and her parents walk up.)
Helena: (To Monica) And who is your friend?
Monica: Hi Mr. Bing.
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
[Cut to Monica.]
Monica: I cant find garbage bags!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]
Monica: Who wants it? Anybody?
Monica: All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit em all, and you mix em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.
Monica: Nobody wants to do it? All right, Ill do it myself.
Monica: Okay. Sorry. (Monica goes into the bathroom.)