words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Monica: God Ross, what is that?
Monica: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.
Monica: I love you, Pete!!!
[cut to Monica, Pete, and Cailin]
Monica: (from the bathroom) Im in the shower!
Monica: (going up to the ring) Pete! Pete!! That guys pretty huge!
[Scene: Pete's apartment, Monica is there to water the plants, and is showing the gang around.]
Monica: Well, youre not gonna get going are you?
Monica: Well, no. But...
Monica: You didnt know that already?
Monica: Yeah. That-that was the problem.
MONICA: [enters] Honey. Uh, not to sound too Florence Henderson but, dinner's on the table.
Dr. Mitchell: Okay, errrr, Monica?
Monica: (entering) Oh my God! You are gonna love me so much! I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight youre gonna have a bachelor party.
Monica: And I suppose you used a ring designer for that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
Monica: Please tell me youre stopping now.
Monica: Yes?
MONICA: Who has her own little desk when Roland's not there.
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
Monica: Really?!
Monica: Stinky?!
[Scene: Back at Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are now fighting about what Rachel told Van Damme.]
Joey: Check it out, hes winning! (to Monica) Petes winning!
[cut to Rachel and Monica at the counter.]
Monica: (sarcastic) Thanks!
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Monica: Yeah right.
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
(At that suggestion Monica starts laughing.)
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
Monica: Oh, hey! Oh good, you brought food!
Monica: Seriously, where did you get the hat?
Monica: Well, you guys have been friends forever. Remember the first time that you kissed Ross? How weird that was? You couldn't stop laughing? You got through that.
Monica: Whats with all this sand? (picking a handful of sand off of the floor, which is covered in sand)
Monica: What?!
Monica: Joey, this is sick, it's disgusting, it's, it'snot really true, is it?
Monica: Aww, thank you.
Monica: What are you crazy?!
Monica: (to Phoebe) So whats Phoebe like?
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
Monica: Well, why would she lie to you?
Monica: Oh well, where is he?!
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
Monica: You guys! Do you realize that any minute now, Phoebe can be pregnant?
Monica: Strip Happy Days Game?
Monica: You made a joke right? So I laughed.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is talking to Monica about the restaurant.]
Rachel: Monica, please?
Monica: Hes totally flirting with you too.
Monica: Why would the little girl creep you out?
Monica: Huh?
Monica: What?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering again.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is returning from Petes.]
Monica: Windows are clean, candels are lit. Uh, belt's to tight, gotta change the belt. Did I turn the fish? (goes over to the kitchen to check on the dinner) No, cause I made lasagne. (to Rachel) Am I out of control?
MONICA: You know what, maybe I don't need to have children. You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, and by that I mean my mom, has always convinced me that I...(sees two little girls dancing together) I do, I have to have children, I'm sorry, I just do.
Rachel and Monica: Ohh! (both grab there stomachs in pain)
(He goes over and gives Rachel the same treatment he gave Monica, only Rachel is shocked.)
Monica: And what are you laughing at, Miss `My-keg-sucking-boyfriend-is-stealing-from-me!'
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Rachel and Monica: Uff.
Monica: Thats that weird voice again.
Monica: Yeah, but if it's good news, you should tell him now.
[cut to Monica opening the door of the beach house, with Chandler trying to pick her up for a date.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Everybody's sitting on the couch and Monica is eating a chunk of cake.]
Monica: Whats fish hooking?
Monica: Close? She's got her tongue in his ear.
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
[Monica is visibly upset]
Monica: Really?!
Monica: Oh.
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Monica: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping.
Monica: �A qui�n pidio el pollo General Tso? (Who ordered General Sal's chicken?)
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
Monica: Ohh Oh, thats okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So whats up?
Monica: But you should eat them now because theyre hot from the oven.
Monica: (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
(Phoebe and Monica walk in from getting some coffee.)
Monica: Rach, did you check the machine?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
Monica: Ennnh.
Monica: (screaming in pain) Ow!! Ow!!!
Monica: What?!! Gross!!
Monica: What?! What is it?!
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Monica: Nothing, I dont know.
Monica: Oh, thats okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
Monica: You didnt even take off your pants.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Here you go. You can wear this. (hands her a sweater)
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
Emily: Monica, why have you brought me here of all places?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading The Shining, as Monica enters.]
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: NO!!!
Monica: Pass the cheese, please.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.