words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Monica: Well?
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Monica: Hey!
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Monica: What is it?!
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is getting coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Oh my God, are you out of a job?
Monica: Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?
Joey: Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. (Monica gasps) Yeah.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Erica enter, Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Monica: Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I don't think so.
MONICA: [carrying an ice cube tray] Ice, ice, ice squares anyone? Take a napkin. Alright.
MONICA: I don't know, I lost it all ok. I lost it.
Rachel: (to Monica) Did you know he was in there?
Monica: (popping back up) Regular or decaf?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.
Monica: Oh that's okay. Dont worry about it, you can give it to me when we get back.
Monica: Oh, well... um, that's all there are of these. But in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica enters.]
Monica: Please, have some!
Monica: Yeah, its just something I picked up.
Monica: Wait! Wait! This isnt take-out!
Monica: People are supposed to wanna hang out here!
Monica: I am so jealous.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are there. Monica is checking the messages.]
Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think its okay to be that guy.
Monica: Are you sure?
Monica: Nah, I got it.
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
[Scene: Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica comforting Joey at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm, talk about it, but no.
(Monica stares longingly at the door, after Richard leaves)
Monica: He loves you.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Rachel: Wow! Monica!
Monica: Just come.
[Scene: game room, Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Joey is talking about the wonder that is the thong.]
MONICA: Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me.
Monica: (not wanting to be left out, picks up something) Hey umm, whats this?
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Monica: OK, great. You'll tell us and we'll laugh. Let's play poker.
Monica: Whats Phase Two?
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
(Pete and Monica kiss, and Monica mouths I love you. to him.)
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is in his sweats flinging playing cards into a pot.]
Monica: Rachel always cries!
Monica: Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and its sooo close.
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Monica: You stink!
Rachel: Hey, Monica!
Monica: Hey, Joey, could you pass the cheese?
Monica: Sweety, what are you talking about?
Monica: Uh-oh, whats the matter?
Pete: Monica, I want to become (pause) the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Monica: I cant! I have to work!
Monica: I think shes here.
Woman: Hello! (Monica screams)
MONICA: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Monica: All right, then show me some manly moves.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Chandler and Monica enters.]
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
Monica: So you hit her in the face?
Monica: What?
Monica: All right, come on, I'm-I'm late for work!
Monica: Hey! Youre wearing pants!
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Monica: Oh-oh, my God!
Monica: Its 9:30 in the morning!
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Monica: Why do you care so much anyway?
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
Monica: A couple of days.
[Scene: Hallway between the apartments. Chandler comes out wearing spandex, jogging in place. Monica is there.]
Monica: Yeah, come on, we can be guys!
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Rachel: Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! (Monica opens the door.) Emily?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the ring he bought and not liking it.]
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
Monica: So, we did okay at the strip club, right?
Monica: Come on! Chandler!
Monica: Really?!
Monica: Thats-thats not Phase Three.
Joey: Hey, Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King?