words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Monica: No you don't.
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Monica: Rachel?!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
Monica: What are you doing here so early?
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things...
Monica: Yes!
Monica: (horrified) Really?
Monica: Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.
(Monica goes to change.)
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
Monica: No it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything.
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
Monica: Oh my God!
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
Monica: Ok...ay.
Monica: It's no big deal, I do it all the time.
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Monica: (pause)...Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Monica: What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has opened another wedding present as Chandler enters.]
(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)
Monica: Stop!
Monica: We'll talk later.
Monica: Hey sweetie. Oh good. (Takes the baking dish from her.)
Monica: Shut up, and put my table back.
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
Monica: Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff.
Monica: What for?
(Monica is standing by the crib, and she's looking at her babies.)
Monica: Do you realize that four weeks from today were getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!!
(Monica exits.)
Monica: Big time!
Monica: So how you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling.
MONICA: Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation.� You know, like, "Hi, How do I look?"� (As Chandler) "Really sexy.� Could I BE any more turned on?"
Monica: No! No its not! Its not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies!
Monica: How do you do that?
Monica: You know Paul?
Frannie: Hey, Monica!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Monica: We are going to Dick Clarks New Years Rocking Eve!
Monica: I know, he's just so, so... Do you remember you and Tony DeMarco?
Monica: How'd you pay for them?
Monica: And who pays for that?
Monica: All right, you ready?
Monica: You can, I know you can!
Monica: Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Monica: You be okay?
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Monica: See ya.... Waitwait, what's with you?
Monica: (to Phoebe) Would you stop?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Absolutely.
Monica: No, Chandlers still in Phase One, and Joeys that thing you smell.
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Monica: Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? (into microphone) We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! (realizes) Oh, that's me.
Monica: It's "Bolero" from "10".
Monica: What?
Monica: Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours.
Monica: You didn't.
Monica: Hey. Oh good-good youre here! All right, I figured it out. Im gonna take two tables of eight, Im gonna add your parents, and Im gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go!
Monica: Easy Rach, we'll find it. (To all) Won't we!
Monica: How bout one last game of racquetball?
Monica: What happened to your rule about never sleeping with sick people?
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are pouring wine for their parents.]
Monica: Come on, that was back in high school! How could that still bother you?
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
Monica: No it's not.
Monica: What's that supposed to mean?
Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
Monica: 'Scuse me?
Mrs. Geller: (To Monica) And you knew about this?!
Monica: W-w-wh-... wha-... w-w-w-...
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Monica: (slapping his hand) Hey!
(Monica starts to fluff a pillow.)