words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Phoebe: Hey, does Monica know about her broken plates yet?
Monica: Honey, if you know it through a wall, you know it too well!
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)
Monica: You what? You said you liked them.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
[Outside the window, Monica and Chandler jog up. Monica playfully pushes him. They start puching and slapping harder and harder until Monica pushes him down. Chandler stands up, with a serious expression, and chases her away.]
Monica: Ok, how about this: We got wind up toys for Emma for her birthday. We can make them race, and whoever comes in last, stays!
Monica: And the eye!
Monica: Fine, so you don't like them. Everybody else does.
Monica: No, those first two windows, (Points) that's the lobby. And y'know the other one over there, that's the stairway. You've been counting wrong.
(He turns his back to Monica and does the international sign for big boobies again.)
Monica: Not really.
Monica: I have a problem.
Monica: Well, I was dancing around, and singing "No Woman, No Cry" and I got stuck.
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
Monica: Really? I don't really feel like it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Monica: Sure, what do you have in mind?
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Monica: Hey.
Monica: I don't know!
Monica: That's sweet. Drink your hair.
(Monica glares at him.)
Monica: That's not really how it works.
Monica: Which one is which again?
Monica: Hi Frank.
Monica: Okay, but there is a wire back there! I mean that switch is connected to something!
Phoebe: Okay. (Monica closes the door, gets the guitar, and then hands it out.)
Monica: Oh my god!
Monica: Thank you so much for seeing us. Phoebe has told us such great things about you guys.
Monica: (closing the door) Its unbelievable! I-I cant believe that sign didnt work!
(Monica looks at him.)
Monica: Well, we appreciate anything you can tell us.
Monica: It's.. It's just so pretty and white.
Monica: Can I adopt you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.]
Monica: They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are?
Monica: Why? What did you do in the bathroom?
Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that dont work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Monica: Hey, Phoebs
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table staring at the phone as Monica enters.]
Monica: What?
[Chandler and Monica head out with some stuff. Phoebe comes out of her room with a bag.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter to find Phoebe there with the triplets.]
Chandler: Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him.
(Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk away, sipping their drinks)
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey sweetie! (they kiss)
Chandler: (To Monica) Why...why?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Chandler gets pedicures!
Monica: Hey Phoebe!
Monica: There. Here's their card.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He's prying open the drawer with a crowbar to no avail. Monica, Rachel and Chandler enter.]
MONICA: No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh, what are we gonna do! I don't wanna see her!!
Monica: Okay Ill take her, here. (Takes Emma)
Monica: And listen to this... (shakes her body so the shells tingle)
Monica: Yeah, you can hear everything through these stupid walls.
Monica: I think I hear curtains closing...
Monica: How about fifty bucks?
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Monica: It could be Amanda!
Monica: And you would?
Monica: We weren’t picking up, it’s Amanda!
Amanda: Yes, I was looking for Monica.
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Monica: One Two Three...
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
Monica: Why don't you just call her?
Monica: Hey Phoebe!
Monica: Is Amanda here yet?
Monica: Hi!
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Monica: Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Monica: (pause) (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures!
Chandler: (without taking his eyes off the bra) You don't know! (Monica just smiles)
Monica: When were we not friends?
(Monica looks shocked)
Monica: Oh My God!
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Monica: Ehm, we were friends in 1992.
Monica: Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!
Monica: Nope! (She turns and leaves)
Monica: You wanna fool around with Joey?
Monica: I have nothing to say to you.
Monica: We are not friends with Phoebe anymore.
[Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall?
Monica: I'm still all those things!
Monica: Why don't you just be straight with her? Tell her the truth.
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?
Monica: (running back into the room) Kiss him, you fool!!
Monica: I won't know what I would do without you.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Monica are curled up on one of the chairs.]
Monica: You're a really good kisser.
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)