words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
[Cut to Chandler trying to hint to Monica that he wanted to move in with her in The One After Vegas.]
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
Monica: I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake.
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey!
Monica: Hi!
Monica: What about these? These look the same?
Monica: Not as each other!
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
Monica: You can also find him under umm, dog and dead.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Monica: Yeah. I guess. (She puts more money in the bucket.)
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
Phoebe: God, what a mess. (She grabs the bowl and heads for Monicas.)
Joey: Are you thinking about Monica?
Monica: (on the answering machine) Rach! It's me! Pick up!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Ohh, Im such an idiot. I cant believe I actually thought she could change.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Courtney and Matthew are getting ready to do a scene where Monicas sick.]
Monica: (does Rachel's) Nooo!
Monica: Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream!
Monica: Wouldn't kick her out of bed. No more Vodka for me! (put her glass down)
Monica: Oh yeah right! (She grabs the money and shoves into her pocket.)
Monica: So you can like, bite, and pull peoples hair and stuff?
Monica: All right, I guess we should go.
Monica: There's nothing we can do. You erased the message!
Monica: Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.
Monica: Are we playing football or what? Come on you hairy-backed Marries.
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.
[Scene: A Hospital Reception, Monica and Pete are there.]
MR, GELLER: Wait, how do you zoom out? [zooms out and we see an extremely overweight Monica eating a big sandwich] There she is.
Monica: No, but someones really not going to get over that idea, are they?
Monica: Oh, Rachel, sweetie, look, here's a really cute picture of Joey and you at the reception.
Monica: Yeah, y'know I-I made a commitment to you. Yknow what, itd be, itd be fun.
Monica: Yeah, apparently, theyre pretty good seats.
Monica: (shocked) Wow! All right well, I mean, what can you do? If you lost it you lost it.
Monica: Come on, she'll be here any minute.
[Cut to Gary and Monica at the counter.]
Monica: (shocked) Oh my God!
(Monica leaves and Chandler moves to talk to Phoebe.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
Monica: Ohhhh!
Monica: Relax! It's Phoebe! Not you!
Monica: (looking at the flyer) This is all of your things.
Rachel: Is Monica here?
(Monica starts taking pictures of Ross and Ben, with the flash.)
Chandler: Monica and I are celebrating our ten-month anniversary, we've got reservations at Ja George.
Monica: No, but she likes me. You abandoned her on a plane to Greece.
MONICA: Dad, it is not. What's with the red light?
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
Monica: You're going to talk to him! Y'know what? We made a deal, I make your decisions and I say you're going to talk to him.
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Monica: What?!
Monica: Really?!
Ross: Monica, whatever you do, do not drop that ball!
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are watching a basketball game on the couch.]
Monica: Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway?
Monica: (shocked) What?!
Monica: Rach?
Monica: I don't want a cat!
Monica: So umm, when I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London
MONICA: MEG was good for me but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down.
Monica: So, why don't you just take it back to where you got it?
Monica: Oh myOh good God!
(Joey is leaving and notices Monica, as Monica notices him)
Monica: Rach, why won't they take it back?
(Monica sneezes.)
Monica: Count in our heads as-as good Madlibs.
Monica: So you're moving in with him. What happened?
Monica: Y'know what, thats fine, maybe you havent grown up, but I have.
Monica: Hi.
Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Monica: No Joey, I think he's just watchin' TV.
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica are discussing how to bribe the Maitre d'.]
Monica: No! Ace is low! Ace, two, three, four!
Monica: It's easy! Just keep it casual! Give him a kind word, shake his hand and give him the money!
Monica: Why don't you come over tonight? And I'll make you favorite dinner.
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
Monica: (very excited) Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard!
Monica: Wow! You made a profit!
Monica: All right! Come on Monica! Look alive! Come on, look alive!
Monica: Because we won our apartment back!
Monica: Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
Monica: Yeah! Oh yes!
Monica: It's not Richard! Okay? It's this new guy and he's really good.
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Monica: Bye!
Monica: Well, it just seems that
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
Monica: Totally!
Monica: Oh good.
Danny: (Looking at Monica) Absolutely! Is Friday okay?
Phoebe: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?