words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
Monica: Fair enough, now go get ready!
Monica: I hope you're not full, 'cause dinner's almost ready.
Monica: Theyre all Chandler.
Monica: What if something gets broken, they're so expensive.
Monica: That's a great idea! I was saving them for something special.
Monica: What is the matter with your hand?
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Monica: Ok, but if something gets broken, and then the Queen comes over..
Monica: Yeah, come on, eat, whatever you want. Dr. Roger got beeped again.
Monica: Dont touch her!!
Monica: Oh my God Phoebe, youre on fire!
Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out)
Monica: Wait, you like them with me.
Monica: Anyway, it just doesnt seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? Its a lot of work.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
Monica: (airily) Hi.
Monica: Uh-huh, what exactly did you ask her?
Chandler: Yes. When Monica and I were in London, we were both in London.
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Monica: Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
MONICA: Um, you guys, you know when I said before, "thank you, but I don't really need your help"?
Monica: I drew you a bath!
Monica: (entering) So?
Monica: Absolutely.
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Monica: All the time. In fact, I was undefeated.
Monica: I cant believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell?
Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.
Monica: (congested) Ugh, they sent me home. They said I cant work if Im sick.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Monica is entering.]
Monica: Hello?
Monica: You know what? I-I think Ill wait out here.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh. (She goes into the bathroom.) Whats wrong?
Monica: Thanks.
Monica: Well, I actually had the weirdest conversation with Joey. He was talking about rules and right and wrong and
Monica: Okay, lets talk about something else.
Monica: (groans) That was a long night.
Monica: Okay, he was talking about rules.
Monica: You did? What was he talking about?
Monica: What did he tell you?
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
(Monica starts smiling)
Monica: Oh, you had that?
Monica: Just a minute! (To Chandler) Thats Mrs. Tribbiani!
Monica: I mean, I-I, I really shouldnt say. I mean, Im really not supposed to.
(Monica runs out to Phoebe, who is in the kitchen)
Monica: Nothing.
Monica: No!
Monica: Its Joey!
Monica: Somebody likes you!
Monica: I guess that makes sense. So, you think youre going to talk to him?
Monica: Not Chandler, just Joey.
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
Monica: Hey.
Monica: What do you think youre doing?
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
Monica: Yeah, Im going to take a bath. Im just going to get a magazine.
Chandler: (To Monica) You told her?!
Monica: What?
Monica: (Pause) I dont think Id care.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
MONICA: Shoot, I think I got mayonaise on you.
Monica: Oh, okay. No problem.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Here you go.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: What?!
Monica: It sure is nice to do this together, isnt it?
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe walks up to and knocks on Chandler and Monicas door.]
Monica: Im not touching you.
Monica: (To herself) Whatever keeps you off the balcony, big guy!
Monica: Yes! Exactly.
Monica: Phoebe, I can explain!
Monica: (laughs) No. (Closes the door as Chandler walks up.)
Monica: Phoebe, dont get upset!
Monica: Well umm, Alexandra has been
Monica: Oh my pleasure. Okay, Im afraid Ive got some bad news. (Phoebe enters.) Phoebe!
Monica: No, it doesnt say where it came from. Where would we return it?
Monica: Feminine stuff.
Phoebe: (entering) Hello Chandler, lovely day huh? (To Monica) You!
Monica: Dinosaurs.
Monica: Okay, if it means that much to you
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
Monica: Yes.
Monica: Nice! Wow Phoebe you are good!
Monica: No. Ooohh
Joey: Sure. "Monica."
Monica: <laughs> Oh yeah, like I'm going to let you talk to the queen.
Monica: Okay, I-Im sorry. You and Joey, your both focusing on this uncomfortable thing, what you need to do is to change the subject. Next time you see him try to get him talking about something else.
Monica: No reason. I-I keep private things in there.
Monica: Hey.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Monica: Okay.
Monica: What?
Monica: Whats going on?
Monica: What? (Laughs.)
Monica: I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good!