words in movies
Monica: Let me try. (Gets up to join them.)
Monica: Did I squeeze it too hard?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the window waving at Ross.]
Joey: That's right Ross, I can see you in your new apartment! And you can see me! Same as yesterday, (To Monica) same as the day before.
Monica: Is he doing his shark attack bit yet?
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
Monica: Get in there man! Flirt back, mix it up!
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Monica: (joining him) Wow! She is pretty, huh?
Joey: Tell me about it, huh? (Realizes that she can see Monica.) Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! (He pantomimes that out.) Ewwuck! (He pushes Monica away and makes a disgusted face.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering again.]
Monica: What happened?
Monica: No Joey, I think he's just watchin' TV.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day, Gary is kissing Phoebe good-bye.]
Monica: What?
Monica: Wow! For just a week you guys are really close, huh?
Monica: I know it is the best.
Monica: What? It's still going on.
Monica: I-I am serious, I mean, we're, we're all over each other all the time.
Monica: (Start annoying hyper-competitive mode now.) (Jumping up) What don't you just calm down Phoebe! All right?! Why dont you just get all your facts before you run around telling everybody that you're the only hot couple!!
Phoebe: (Under her breath) God, I woke the beast. Sorry. (To Monica) I was wrong obviously, I justI misspoke. It's okay.
Monica: Oh no, it is okay, I mean as long as you know that Chandler and I are also very hot and fiery, just as hot as you! I mean our flame, whew, is on fire!
Chandler: (entering) Hey Monica, here's your broom back.
Monica: You are so cute. (She goes over and kisses him passionately.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler and Joey are there as Rachel returns from her interview.]
Monica: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Rach, a guy from Ralph Lauren called, you got a second interview!
Monica: Yes!
Monica: A kiss? What are you talking about?
Monica: He probably wants you back because you're right for the job.
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from her interview attempt.]
(Joey, Monica, and Ross all point to their lips to get Rachel to once again notice the ink on her lip.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Gary and Chandler and Monica are all there.]
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
Monica: Okay. (She gets up and walks over to Chandler.) Chandler? Can I see you for a second?
Monica: Okay. (They walk away to get some privacy.) We have got to beat them! {Here we go yet again.}
Monica: 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
Chandler: Monica, you have got to stop this competitive thing! Okay? It's crazy. {Finally! The voice of reason.} I mean, just impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, a post-coital Monica and Chandler are recovering on the couch.]
Monica: Phoebe and Gary are so gonna hear about this at dinner.
Monica: We are the hottest! Huh? No one is hotter than we are! You're the best.
Monica: No, you're the best.
Monica: I am the best.
Monica: (looking out the window) Hey Joey! Isn't that the girl that waved at you the other day?
Monica: Why?
Monica: What are you talking about? (Pointing out the window.) She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left!
Monica: No, those first two windows, (Points) that's the lobby. And y'know the other one over there, that's the stairway. You've been counting wrong.
Joey: I did not know that! Thank you Monica. (Starts to leave) I can't believe I almost lost another girl because of counting.
[Scene: A restaurant, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Gary are on a double date. Chandler is yawning.]
Monica: You better believe he's tired, after the day we had! If you know what I mean. You know what I mean?
Monica: Phoebe, you have a, a twig in your hair.
Monica: You didn't!
Monica: The park huh? A public place.
Monica: I hear ya. Excuse me for just a second! (Gets up and heads for the bathroom as that annoying Gotta-win-at-all-costs-super-competitive thing kicks in again.)
[Cut to the Men's room. Chandler is practicing flashing his badge as Monica enters.]
Monica: Hi Chandler.
Chandler: Monica! This is the Men's room! (Pause) Isn't it?
Monica: Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
Monica: Come on, we can't let them win!
Monica: Because Phoebe and Gary are in that-can't-keep-their-hands-off-each-other-doing-it-in-the-park phase!
Monica: I feel really sad that we're not really there anymore.
Monica: Wasn't it a lot more exciting when we were y'know all over each other all the time?
Monica: Really?
Monica: That is so sweet. I know that I was acting a little crazy but umm, I feel the same way.
Monica: Yeah. (They hug.)
Monica: Did not.
Monica: Okay, I freaked out a little.
Chandler: Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship and king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! (Does a dance of joy.) (Monica glares at him.) And now we're back.
[Cut to the inside of Monica and Rachel's apartment, Monica and Rachel are sitting at the table.]
Monica: Thank God! I can't watch him anymore!
(We see through the big window from the outside and see that Monica and Rachel have pictures of their faces pasted onto cardboard cutouts of Pamela Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth wearing their Baywatch swimsuits.)
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?
Monica: Did you like learn about her family?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
MONICA: Upstairs in the bathroom right before you felt up mom.
Monica: Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you.
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
[Cut to Monica and Phoebe searching the basement.]
Monica: No, its not a sign! Its a very old key!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
Monica: (to Joey) I'll pick you up at eleven. So glad you're coming.
Monica: Limited seating my ass. Lets see who made the cut. (To the couple sitting to her right.) Hi!
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Monica: How did it go with Frank and Alice?
Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...
Monica: Thank you! (He tries the door again and Monica glares at him.)
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Monica: in this day and age how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?
Ross: Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is at the sink and Chandler is looking at a ring brochure.]
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
Monica: How can you not remember? You made us call you...Bea.
Monica: Honey, cover it up with the boat!
Monica: (entering) (Gasps) How did you get in there?!
Monica: Here, let me show you. Okay, the towels are hanging next to the sink, and umm, you can use the fancy soap.
Monica: Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor?
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say youre the only one whos allowed to drive it.
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Monica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!
Monica: Do NOT let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Monica: See? This is exactly why Im making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
Monica: Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!
Rachel: (whispering) Why? (Monica gesticulates mumbling something that starts with "because") Seriously I did not understand a word that you said.
(Ross, Rachel and Joey come back from the bathroom. They discover that Monica and Ethan aren't finished talking to each other yet.)
Chandler: Because it says "Captain Ross" on the side and "I hate Monica" on the bottom.
Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.
Monica: Wow, Monica! What an amazing opportunity to influence dozens of people.
Monica: Listen, Im sure that dad doesnt care. He probably thought this was funny; hell be telling this story for years!
Monica: Oh my God, you cant even see where the Titanic hit it.
Joey: Good luck. (to Monica) And Im still right!
Monica: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
Monica: Howd the lecture go?
Monica: Chandler, if that dog's been here that long, and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog?
Monica: Okay. Okay, Im ready. Come on big fella!
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
Monica: Okay, come on, I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
(Monica breaks the hug and starts for the bedroom.)
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Monica: Hey Joey, Chandler sold a story to Archie Comics!
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
Monica: Oh, I wish there was a job where I could wear this all the time. (Pause) Maybe someday, there will be.
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is making a sandwich as Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing.
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Monica: Chandler, would you like some more orange juice?
[Flashback scene from last week, Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there.]
Monica: I guess theyre back from their date.
Monica: Ohh. (Monica covers her eyes in horror.)
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, The Halloween party has started. Monica is setting out some food as Rachel enters.]
Monica: I am!! (Enter her room and closes the door behind her.)
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Monica: I guess you have forgotten all about Joey?
Monica: Chandler theres nothing wrong with crying! I mean you dont have to be so macho all the time.
Monica: I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesnt that give me the right to control himhelp him?
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Thats not even a game!
Monica: Come on! Surprise her! Show up at her doorstep! Dont let her go without a fight!
MONICA: That is so funny. Let me see that. (throws the ball out the window)
Monica: Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy.
Monica: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.
Monica: Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out?
MONICA: You have got to get over this. You're not gonna end up alone.
MONICA: Well, we don't really have to decide anything right now, do we?
Monica: We ripped that couple apart, and kept the pieces for ourselves.
Monica: Can I ask you a question?
Monica: Its umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
(She starts checking her form. Chandler sees movement near the window from the corner of his eye and when he looks he spots Joey climbing up the fire escape and onto their balcony. He warns Monica silently.)
Monica: Of course! (She mouths, "I have no idea," to the rest of the gang.)
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants Kitchen, shes cooking as one of her waiters, Stu, comes over to talk to her.]
(Rachel goes to the fridge, opens it, and blows on the whistle Monica gave her at the store, which causes Phoebe and Monica to turn around and look at her.)
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
Phoebe: Monica! I'm sorry I'm late! (Starts looking around for her) Monica? (Goes into Monica's bedroom.)
Monica: All right, half the people. I mean, just try it and see.
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
MONICA: Nothing, I just heard something nice about you.
Monica: Did you not hear where my head was? Come on! Come on were a team! Were in this together!
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
Monica: Guys, could you please just stop throwing the ball for one minute and just help me find it!
Monica: I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.