words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Monica: Ok, I dont wanna be negative so Ill say that most of the signs you bought are good.
Monica: (looking at Chandler sleeping with a balloon in his mouth) So sexy. (Waking him up.) Honey.
Monica: Honey why dont you go lie down.
Monica: Phoebe did the signs!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Monica: Wow, hes really not letting this go, is he?
Monica: Breaks your heart doesnt it
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.]
Monica: Alright heres something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side.
Monica: It worked!
Monica: Umm, she Rach, not it, she.
Monica: Oh my god, I am losing my mind.
Monica: Try feeding her again.
Monica: I know, thats why I said again!
Monica: Hey.
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Monica: Okay whats up
Monica: Oh yeah (smiles).
Monica: What? Who says that?
Monica: Whats going on?
Monica: Excuse me?
Monica: (stands up angry) Tulsa, Oklahoma!
Monica: Chandler, I dont even wanna see the musical Oklahoma!
Monica: Are you trying to tell me that were moving to Oklahoma, or that youre gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was moving to Tulsa.
Monica: About a week and a half.
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Monica: Rach, try holding her a different way.
Monica: Youre just new at this, itll get better, think about your first day at work. I mean, that couldnt have been easy but you figured that out.
Monica: Okay Ill take her, here. (Takes Emma)
Monica: (To Emma) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Emma stops crying and falls asleep)
Monica: It worked! Ooh baby baby baby, ooh baby baby baby!
Monica: I cant believe it! Shes asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Monica: Yes I did, Im Monica, Super Aunt
Monica: Yes I am!!
Monica: Say what?
Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!
Monica: What?
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
Monica: Shhh! We just got her to go to sleep
Monica: No.
Monica: (loudly) What!?
Rachel: No its really okay Monica!
Monica: (comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it!
Monica: Hey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment.]
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: No, we haven't seen her since this morning.
Monica: These are for Erica!
Monica: Honey.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler and Monica are looking through some papers.]
Monica: I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby!
Monica: Joey. Erica, baby!
Monica: (entering with Erica and Chandler) Hey you guys.
Monica: Youre right. I mean Im sorry. Yeah, I shouldnt be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! (Runs off laughing which gets Chandler laughing.)
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Chandler: Monica. Calm, self.
Monica: Everyone. Erica, baby!
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Monica: (angry) Ow, what are the chances!
Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going?
Monica: (Chandler's laughing) Did someone drop the baton again?
Monica: What is with you?
Monica: How's that now?
Monica: Are you awake?
Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other)
Monica: How?
(Time lapse. Chandler and Monica are in bed now)
Monica: Yeah, but maybe we're just over-reacting.
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
(Cut to Monica holding up her shirt, revealing her bra. An actor stands beside her, holding a pen in his hand.)
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. Im-Im gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. (She points to and walks over to the electric clothes rack they have.)
Monica: William Sonoma, fall catalog, Page 27.
Monica: But what if it is better than ours? Should we at least look?
Monica: That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops!
Monica: So what! As long as hes not wearing a white dress and a veil I dont care.
Monica: How about you go put on your 007 tuxedo and Ill make you a nice martini.
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it!
Monica: (smiling) No it's not.
Monica: The thing we never do.
Monica: Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is.
Monica: Yeah, you miss alot, when you're moo-ing.
Monica: (her hair bigger then before) I can't believe it's raining again! Oh, it's so unfair!!!
Monica: You were my Midnight Mystery Kisser?
Monica: No, not if their room has two beds!
Monica: No one wanted seconds, right?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler on their couch.]
Monica: And Dad, yknow that mailman that you got fired? He didnt steal your Playboys! Ross did!
Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for...
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Monica: What?! Are you kidding me?! You-you-you think were ready to have a baby now?!
Monica: See you guys later.
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
Monica: I do not have baby fever!
Monica & Chandler: Mhum.
Monica: Phoebe!
Monica: You seriously changed your name to that?
Monica: Hey Pheebs.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Monica are there when Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela?
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry, mrs Hannigan.
Monica: Oh God. I'm so sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Monica: No it's not!
Monica: Thank you for letting us see the house again.
Monica: Ah, so glad you decided to come.
Monica: Joey, we know that's you.
Monica: Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, Ill just write about Phyllis! Hmm!
Monica: (she tastes what she has cooked) I don't get older. I just get better!
(Chandler gives Monica a footlong "eye dropper" with the turkey grease in it)
Monica: How about at a game, on the big screen?
Monica: Hey, where have you been?
Chandler and Monica: No!
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
Monica: No.
Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross enters.]
Monica: Oh, sorry!
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Monica: Oh please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time.
Monica: I dont believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
Monica: Im sorry. Ive never had a maid before, is this not okay?
Gary: (looking at Monica.) Mm! Seems like I wouldve remembered you!
Monica: Good. (To Chandler) Uh honey, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?
Monica: How is that gonna happen?
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Monica: That's terrible!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's reading a newspaper. Chandler and Monica walk in.]
Monica: Don't worry, after a while he'll tune it out.
Monica: Joey's gonna be *so* upset.
Monica: Seriously, you don't think we should tell him?
Monica: Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.
Monica: What if he reads it in the paper?
Rachel: Oh, big glamour night. Me and Monica at Laundorama.
Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?
Monica: Thanks.
Erica: No, he's in prison. (More shocked looks from Monica and Chandler)
Monica: Love it!
Monica: Well Im not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head Im thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Chandler (to Monica): Sure.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
(Chandler and Monica are speechless).
Phoebe: I dont know! (frantically points at Monica)