words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Monica: Ok, I dont wanna be negative so Ill say that most of the signs you bought are good.
Monica: (looking at Chandler sleeping with a balloon in his mouth) So sexy. (Waking him up.) Honey.
Monica: Honey why dont you go lie down.
Monica: Phoebe did the signs!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Monica: Wow, hes really not letting this go, is he?
Monica: Breaks your heart doesnt it
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.]
Monica: Alright heres something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side.
Monica: It worked!
Monica: Umm, she Rach, not it, she.
Monica: Oh my god, I am losing my mind.
Monica: Try feeding her again.
Monica: I know, thats why I said again!
Monica: Hey.
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Monica: Okay whats up
Monica: Oh yeah (smiles).
Monica: What? Who says that?
Monica: Whats going on?
Monica: Excuse me?
Monica: (stands up angry) Tulsa, Oklahoma!
Monica: Chandler, I dont even wanna see the musical Oklahoma!
Monica: Are you trying to tell me that were moving to Oklahoma, or that youre gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was moving to Tulsa.
Monica: About a week and a half.
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Monica: Rach, try holding her a different way.
Monica: Youre just new at this, itll get better, think about your first day at work. I mean, that couldnt have been easy but you figured that out.
Monica: Okay Ill take her, here. (Takes Emma)
Monica: (To Emma) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Emma stops crying and falls asleep)
Monica: It worked! Ooh baby baby baby, ooh baby baby baby!
Monica: I cant believe it! Shes asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Monica: Yes I did, Im Monica, Super Aunt
Monica: Yes I am!!
Monica: Say what?
Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!
Monica: What?
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
Monica: Shhh! We just got her to go to sleep
Monica: No.
Monica: (loudly) What!?
Rachel: No its really okay Monica!
Monica: (comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it!
Monica: No youre fine. (Joey checks anyway.) All right well, do you think I could take Rachel?
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Ross! (To Rachel) See? Other people call me!
Monica: Hello, people who do not live here.
Monica: (looking at Rachels jeans) Where did you get those jeans?!
Monica: I warned you...
Monica: Sure, we have no money, go ahead.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Monica: Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up.
Monica: But my clothes areohh! (They both leave.)
Monica: I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information.
MONICA: Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
MONICA: Scary pigeon's back?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler comes running in. Everyone else is already there.]
Monica: Is he right? Am I reallyAm I awful?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel's surprise party. The apartment is festooned with cups. There are cups everywhere! Cup centerpiece, cup garland, etc., etc]
Phoebe: Ohh, you are so lucky! (To Chandler) Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the coffee table.]
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
[Scene: The hallway, Joey, Janine, Monica, and Chandler are returning from their second date.]
MONICA: Alright that's great, then just go. Go Knicks.
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
Monica: This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know its weird, its awkward, but you gotta at least try.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Monica: Yeah sure, nature called, she wanted to see who else did.
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Monica, Chandler, Rachel, and Ross are playing Monopoly as Phoebe enters angrily.]
MONICA: Not a basset, a bassinet.
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
ROSS: Monica, Monica, your guest are turning into jerky, OK.
Monica: This is so cool, maybe this is something you can do every week.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Monica: Yeah! Joey has the best boyfriend ever!
Monica: It's a diaper commercial.
MONICA: Over here dad. [he pans over and we see a torso taking up the whole screen]
Monica: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
[Scene: The craps table, Monica is on a big roll.]
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
MONICA: I don't know, Chandler. Let's take a look.
MONICA: Oh, I'm gonna kill those guys.
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Monica: Okay, we're gonna start in the kitchen. Plates get put into plate protectors and stacked ten to a box. The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped. Got it?
Monica: (Closing the door) Goodbye Mr.Heckles.
Monica: Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didnt.
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?
Monica: I dont know! I dontmaybe youre feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought youd get married first! Maybe you cant stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you!
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Monica: Okay. (She gets off him.) God well, we gotta go back and get them!
Phoebe: I cant believe youre gonna ask Monica to marry you!
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Monica: Because shes not gonna get to keep the babies.
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Monica: No you don't.
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Monica: Rachel?!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
Monica: What are you doing here so early?
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things...
Monica: Yes!
Monica: (horrified) Really?
Monica: Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.
(Monica goes to change.)
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
Monica: No it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything.
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
Monica: Oh my God!
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
Monica: Ok...ay.
Monica: It's no big deal, I do it all the time.
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Monica: (pause)...Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Monica: What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has opened another wedding present as Chandler enters.]
(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)
Monica: Stop!
Monica: We'll talk later.