words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.]
Monica: I have no idea. But look how much they spent!
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: I know. It's just such reckless spending.
Monica: That's me.
Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Rachel: Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing.
Monica: This woman's living my life.
Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
Rachel: Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things.
Monica: Oh really? Okay, let's compare, shall we.
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Monica: (Hushes her) Alright, great. Thanks a lot. (Hangs up) I'm going to tap class.
Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
Monica: What d'you think?
Monica: Oh, no thanks, we're just here to observe.
Monica: Okay, d'y'see anybody you think could be me?
(Everyone starts to dance in unison. Monica flounders)
Monica: Okay, I'm not getting this!
Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?
Monica: Great. It's gym class all over again.
Monica: Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare.
Woman: Hi. I'm Monica.
Monica: Oh. Monica! ...Hi. I'm Mo- ...nana.
Woman: (Fake Monica) Monana?
Monica: Yeah. It's Dutch.
Fake Monica: You're kidding! I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. (Asks her something in Dutch)
Monica: Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]
Fake Monica: Monana was very brave.
Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor!
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
Monica: 'Scuse me?
Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say?
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
Fake Monica: Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background.
Monica: What?
Fake Monica: Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?
Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned.
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Monica: Uh-huh.
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Monica: Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
Monica: Yo- hooo!
Monica: Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.
Monica: Noooo! (Comes closer and whispers) I'm lying. I am so drunk.
Rachel: Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...
(Monica is drinking from the tap)
Rachel: Monica? Monica!
Monica: Water rules!
Monica: Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today.
Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Monica: Helloooo? Yeah. Oh my God. Thanks.
Monica: They've arrested Monica.
[Scene: New York City Department of Correction, Monica is visiting Fake Monica.]
Monica: Hi.
Fake Monica: Hey.
Monica: How are you?
Fake Monica: I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my colour. How-how did you know I was here?
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
Fake Monica: That I was not expecting.
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
Fake Monica: Oh. Thanks.
Monica: No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!
Fake Monica: Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'.
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Monica: Well, not... worried, just... wondering.
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Monica: Not necessarily...
Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.
Monica: Um, I'm not actually Amish.
Fake Monica: Really? Then why are you like that?
[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]
Monica: In. (She joins in the dancing. She still flounders)
Monica: Yeah, but at least I'm doing it!
[Scene: The Airport, everyone but Monica is there to see off Marcel.]
(Monica and Chandler come running in.)
Monica: I dont understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I dont have a boyfriend?
Monica: Phoebe, its been two days.
Monica: What?
Monica: (sarcastic) Oh.
MONICA: Yeah. It's my dad's birthday, I decided to give him a stroke.
Monica: I hate men! I hate men!
Monica: Hey! I didn't know either.
Joey: Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots.
MONICA: All right, get your coat, we're going to the hospital.
Monica: Really?!
Monica: Gotcha. When do we tell them about this?
Monica: Pete's breaking up with me.
Monica: I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk.
Monica: Oh absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. (Ross starts to leave) Ross! Ross! Im kidding!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Monica: Yeah. Which one do you like more?
Monica: That does not mean you know us better, I-I want a rematch.
Monica: I know.
Monica: I guess that's how.
Pete: Hey Monica, how's it going.
Pete: Monica? (the gang ducks and hides)
Monica: Oh, oh, okay umm, so I'll see you soon.
Monica: Okay. Well, it's good news. It's good news.
Monica: I love you.
Monica: Oh no-no-no, it's still me.
Monica: Oh my.
Monica: Yeah! And the winner gets a hundred bucks.
Monica: Ross will do it.
Monica: Are you scared?
Monica: Well that's it. People never say `We need to talk' unless it's something bad.
Monica: Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Monica: Look, I-Im never gonna let you up so you may as well just go away.
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
MONICA: Ok will do. So glad you came.
MONICA: Give me that.
Monica: Ooh, nice.
Monica: Yeah?
Monica: Whats that?
Monica: You wanna what?!
Monica: Wow.
Monica: Okay. (not sure of herself)
Monica: Oh, right! I completely forgot about that.
Monica: What are you talking about?
Monica: My parents will be so happy.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are getting back from the lecture.]
Monica: (entering) Hey.
Monica: Youre not gonna believe this. Okay, so I go over...
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is trying to find out what Phoebe wont tell her.]
Monica: So guys, listen, I go over there, and umm...
Chandler: (to Monica) You see you cant tell which one is which either, dwha!!
Monica: Umm, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing?
Phoebe: So Monica, what were you gonna tell us?
Monica: The fuzzy little mints at the bottom of her purse.
Monica: Forty-two to twenty-one! Like the turkey, Ross is done!
Monica: Yeah, but without the costumes.
Monica: I am so glad you said cooks.
[Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.]
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Monica: That's very nice.
Monica: Okay, can we please go eat?
Monica: I'm sorry, but that's my happy place.
Monica: (entering) Hi!
Monica: Hey, are we still on for tonight?
Monica: God Ross, what is that?
Monica: Oh, but wait I do have a globe.
Monica: I love you, Pete!!!
[cut to Monica, Pete, and Cailin]
Monica: (from the bathroom) Im in the shower!
Monica: (going up to the ring) Pete! Pete!! That guys pretty huge!
[Scene: Pete's apartment, Monica is there to water the plants, and is showing the gang around.]
Monica: Well, youre not gonna get going are you?
Monica: Well, no. But...
Monica: You didnt know that already?
Monica: Yeah. That-that was the problem.
MONICA: [enters] Honey. Uh, not to sound too Florence Henderson but, dinner's on the table.
Dr. Mitchell: Okay, errrr, Monica?
Monica: (entering) Oh my God! You are gonna love me so much! I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight youre gonna have a bachelor party.
Monica: And I suppose you used a ring designer for that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
Monica: Please tell me youre stopping now.
Monica: Yes?
MONICA: Who has her own little desk when Roland's not there.
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
Monica: Really?!
Monica: Stinky?!
[Scene: Back at Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are now fighting about what Rachel told Van Damme.]
Joey: Check it out, hes winning! (to Monica) Petes winning!
[cut to Rachel and Monica at the counter.]
Monica: (sarcastic) Thanks!
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Monica: Yeah right.
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
(At that suggestion Monica starts laughing.)
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
Monica: Oh, hey! Oh good, you brought food!