words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.]
Monica: I have no idea. But look how much they spent!
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: I know. It's just such reckless spending.
Monica: That's me.
Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Rachel: Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing.
Monica: This woman's living my life.
Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
Rachel: Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things.
Monica: Oh really? Okay, let's compare, shall we.
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Monica: (Hushes her) Alright, great. Thanks a lot. (Hangs up) I'm going to tap class.
Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
Monica: What d'you think?
Monica: Oh, no thanks, we're just here to observe.
Monica: Okay, d'y'see anybody you think could be me?
(Everyone starts to dance in unison. Monica flounders)
Monica: Okay, I'm not getting this!
Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?
Monica: Great. It's gym class all over again.
Monica: Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare.
Woman: Hi. I'm Monica.
Monica: Oh. Monica! ...Hi. I'm Mo- ...nana.
Woman: (Fake Monica) Monana?
Monica: Yeah. It's Dutch.
Fake Monica: You're kidding! I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. (Asks her something in Dutch)
Monica: Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]
Fake Monica: Monana was very brave.
Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor!
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
Monica: 'Scuse me?
Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say?
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
Fake Monica: Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background.
Monica: What?
Fake Monica: Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?
Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned.
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Monica: Uh-huh.
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Monica: Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
Monica: Yo- hooo!
Monica: Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.
Monica: Noooo! (Comes closer and whispers) I'm lying. I am so drunk.
Rachel: Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...
(Monica is drinking from the tap)
Rachel: Monica? Monica!
Monica: Water rules!
Monica: Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today.
Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Monica: Helloooo? Yeah. Oh my God. Thanks.
Monica: They've arrested Monica.
[Scene: New York City Department of Correction, Monica is visiting Fake Monica.]
Monica: Hi.
Fake Monica: Hey.
Monica: How are you?
Fake Monica: I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my colour. How-how did you know I was here?
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
Fake Monica: That I was not expecting.
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
Fake Monica: Oh. Thanks.
Monica: No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!
Fake Monica: Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'.
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Monica: Well, not... worried, just... wondering.
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Monica: Not necessarily...
Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.
Monica: Um, I'm not actually Amish.
Fake Monica: Really? Then why are you like that?
[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]
Monica: In. (She joins in the dancing. She still flounders)
Monica: Yeah, but at least I'm doing it!
[Scene: The Airport, everyone but Monica is there to see off Marcel.]
Monica: Chris says theyre closing down the bar.
Ross: (whispering in her ear) Oh, thats right! He called to ask out Monica! That-thats gotta be embarrassing!
Monica: I know.
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: This is so great! And Im gonna be your babys aunt!
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Monica: Feeling a little better sweetie?
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that its too soon. Its gonna break his heart, hes not gonna think that I dont love him anymore.
Monica: Yeah, no, me neither.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Oh no!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Yes it's true.
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Chandler: (entering) Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question?
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bastedOh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (to Ross) Ooh, are you gonna do magic?
Monica: Well, I want he baby to come out all cute and fat!
Rachel: Monica!!!
Joey: (entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?
Monica: Fridays perfect...She cant wait.
Monica: (Walking in from off screen.) Phoebe!
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: I don't care.
Monica: I just wanted to see how it's going.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are talking about passion.]
Monica: (Taking out her wallet.) Well good, here let me help you out.
Monica: (embraces Emma tightly) Ooh, I want one...
Monica: Aw, it's soo unfair. (they both start digging into the 'good' ice cream)
Monica: Hey, what's up?
Monica: You had no relationship!!
Monica: Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
MONICA: Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this.
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Monica: You still want to move in together right?
Monica: You guys are dead, I am so good at lighting rounds.
Monica: Come on, hurry!
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
Monica: Ross didnt scare you?
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Fat Monica: I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.
Monica: I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them!
Monica: Come here, I want to show you something!
Monica: What a minute, what did he say?
Rachel: So did I. I'm really glad Monica asked us out.
Monica: I mean, that's a typical guy response.
Monica: No.
Monica: No.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Okay, the owner of Allesandros came over to yell at me, but instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!!
Monica and Ross: Sure.
Monica: (answering it) Hello.
Monica: Oh, you're kidding.
Monica: Too strong for me?
Monica: What is the matter with you?! Do you want to fall into the trap? Do you want to fall into the trap?!
Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road.
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: (laughing with Ross) We don't, we don't wrestle now.
MONICA: Mom, I'm hungry.
Monica: Bodington's!
Monica: That was unbelievable!
Monica: That would be a terrible punishment. But, I'm serious, I've never seen these before.
Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is entering, Monica is on roller skates.]
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
Joey: Monica and Rachel made out. (Giggles like a schoolboy and Monica glares at him.)
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
Monica: Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!
Monica: Oh no, wait! Joey!
Monica: So then you know? (Phoebe nods her head)
Monica: Okay!
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
Monica: Happy New Year.
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: (Picking up a card from Chandlers wallet.) My God! Is this a gym card?
Monica: Uh-hmm.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Monica: Uh, no!!
Monica: Oh my God! I love that!
Monica: Eww!! (Throws the bucket down.)
Monica: Hi Ben!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross is sitting in the couch doing Chandler's game. Chandler is sitting in his barca-lounger. The girls are in the kitchen.]
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Monica: Look look! It's Rachel and Barry. No, don't everybody look at once!
Monica: You were the next caller five hours ago. You must be going crazy.
Monica: Thank you. (Leaves.)
Monica: 2 minutes, 12 pies and a part of one tin! Okay, I see you guys at 4.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]