words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.]
Monica: I have no idea. But look how much they spent!
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: I know. It's just such reckless spending.
Monica: That's me.
Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Rachel: Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing.
Monica: This woman's living my life.
Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
Rachel: Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things.
Monica: Oh really? Okay, let's compare, shall we.
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Monica: (Hushes her) Alright, great. Thanks a lot. (Hangs up) I'm going to tap class.
Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
Monica: What d'you think?
Monica: Oh, no thanks, we're just here to observe.
Monica: Okay, d'y'see anybody you think could be me?
(Everyone starts to dance in unison. Monica flounders)
Monica: Okay, I'm not getting this!
Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?
Monica: Great. It's gym class all over again.
Monica: Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare.
Woman: Hi. I'm Monica.
Monica: Oh. Monica! ...Hi. I'm Mo- ...nana.
Woman: (Fake Monica) Monana?
Monica: Yeah. It's Dutch.
Fake Monica: You're kidding! I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. (Asks her something in Dutch)
Monica: Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]
Fake Monica: Monana was very brave.
Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor!
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
Monica: 'Scuse me?
Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say?
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
Fake Monica: Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background.
Monica: What?
Fake Monica: Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?
Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned.
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Monica: Uh-huh.
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Monica: Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
Monica: Yo- hooo!
Monica: Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.
Monica: Noooo! (Comes closer and whispers) I'm lying. I am so drunk.
Rachel: Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...
(Monica is drinking from the tap)
Rachel: Monica? Monica!
Monica: Water rules!
Monica: Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today.
Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Monica: Helloooo? Yeah. Oh my God. Thanks.
Monica: They've arrested Monica.
[Scene: New York City Department of Correction, Monica is visiting Fake Monica.]
Monica: Hi.
Fake Monica: Hey.
Monica: How are you?
Fake Monica: I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my colour. How-how did you know I was here?
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
Fake Monica: That I was not expecting.
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
Fake Monica: Oh. Thanks.
Monica: No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!
Fake Monica: Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'.
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Monica: Well, not... worried, just... wondering.
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Monica: Not necessarily...
Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.
Monica: Um, I'm not actually Amish.
Fake Monica: Really? Then why are you like that?
[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]
Monica: In. (She joins in the dancing. She still flounders)
Monica: Yeah, but at least I'm doing it!
[Scene: The Airport, everyone but Monica is there to see off Marcel.]
Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.
Monica: Yeah, you have to go fight for her!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about trying to give Joey some money.]
Chandler: Come on Monica, its our Valentines Day. Please? Please-please, please?
Monica: Thank you.
Monica:: sweetie it's ok, I still love you, let me be a part of this.
Monica: Hi.
Monica: Yes.
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Monica: (to Phoebe) Oh my God! Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks Im good.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi, remember us?
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...
Monica: (as Rachel) I am. I'm that stupid. (Little laugh.)
Monica: What's goin' on?
Monica: (as Rachel) Monica.
Rachel and Monica: Oh, thank you.
Rachel: (as Monica) Oh.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi.
Monica: Michael.
Monica: We didnt give you any money! (Chandler is motioning, "No!")
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy New Year!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there. Monica is just finishing cleaning the windows.]
Monica: Is it better than the other salmon mousse?
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Monica: We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms.
Monica: Oh, look, he's waking up!
Monica: Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they dont like us do they? (They gave them a pok-a-dotted punch bowl.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
Monica: Hey, guys.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Joey is holding a deck of cards out to Chandler.]
MONICA: Ok, everybody, there's food and drinks on the table. Go across the hall.
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
Monica: What?
Dr. Rosen: So, Monica, how's the ankle?
Monica: I cant believe mom and dad are selling the house!
MONICA: I've gotta get back in the game.
Monica: Hell no, we'll pay!
Monica: Well, you're... you're different funny... I mean, you're... you're more sarcastic a-a-and... well, he does... bits... and impressions... and... and limericks...
Phoebe: OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Monica: Ugly Naked Guy's laying kitchen tile. Eww!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.]
Monica: Lots of responses.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh, Rachel!
Monica: (Runs out to the hallway) Chandler, wait. It goes: Old job, (Raises her hand) new job, (Raises her hand really high) you. This is just something I have to do.
Monica: You're kidding! Where? Where?
Monica: What?
Monica: Please! I am not as bad as Ross.
Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.
Monica: Really?
Monica: Well, what's the job?
Monica: I don't think so.
Monica: Yeah.
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Monica: Well, are you asleep right now, Joe? Cause I dont think you have to wear it unless you are!
Monica: Do you want to go to the bathroom, or do you wanna play poker?
Monica: Excuse me, where are you going?
Monica: Uhh, not much. Uh, work's good.
Monica: Me too.
RACHEL: Hey Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Phoebe: Monica, in or out?
Monica: Hey that reminds me, I thought we could use some extra luck so I brought a wishbone home from work.
Rachel: Hey, honey! Whats the matter? (Monica shows her, her hat.) Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa!
Monica: Great! Its so amazing! I mean, last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous, but then after being with you Im all like, "Can the doctor see me now?"
Monica: Sorry, Rach.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmallows in concentric circles.
Monica: Alright, check.
(Monica gets up, looks in Rachel's purse.)
Monica: Rachel, there's nothing in it.
FRIEND: She's probably not even very pretty, just young enough so that everything is still pointing up. [Monica folds her arms over her breasts]
(Monica gets Rachel her purse.)
Rachel: (to Monica): Thank you. (to Ross): I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Monica: That, you get? That, you get?
(Monica sits, Rachel gets up.)
(Monica glares at Phoebe.)
Monica: Barry who you almost...?
Monica: What is it?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Hi.
Monica: Wonderful!
Monica: Oh, hang on, hang on. Does Aunt Monica get a say in this?
Monica: There was nudity!
[Scene: outside Phoebe's apartment, Monica is knocking on the door.]
[Scene: The Janitors Closet, Chandler and Monica are trying to figure out what to do now.]
Monica: G'bye, Nana. (She kisses her on the forehead.)
(Decided that they are less than human as well, Chandler picks up a golf club and Monica a frying pan, to join in on the fun of beating their good friend to within an inch of his life!)
Monica: (gasps) We had a characturist!
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
Monica: Which ones?
Estelle: Ooh, what a shame! Because with her face (points to Monica) and her chest (points to Rachel) I could really put something together.
(Monica pushes him off of the sofa as Rachel enters with a shopping bag.)
Monica: No!
Monica: Well, can't you just have the party when we get back?
[Cut to Monica and Rachel's.]