words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.]
Monica: I have no idea. But look how much they spent!
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: I know. It's just such reckless spending.
Monica: That's me.
Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Rachel: Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing.
Monica: This woman's living my life.
Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
Rachel: Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things.
Monica: Oh really? Okay, let's compare, shall we.
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Monica: (Hushes her) Alright, great. Thanks a lot. (Hangs up) I'm going to tap class.
Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
Monica: What d'you think?
Monica: Oh, no thanks, we're just here to observe.
Monica: Okay, d'y'see anybody you think could be me?
(Everyone starts to dance in unison. Monica flounders)
Monica: Okay, I'm not getting this!
Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?
Monica: Great. It's gym class all over again.
Monica: Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare.
Woman: Hi. I'm Monica.
Monica: Oh. Monica! ...Hi. I'm Mo- ...nana.
Woman: (Fake Monica) Monana?
Monica: Yeah. It's Dutch.
Fake Monica: You're kidding! I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. (Asks her something in Dutch)
Monica: Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]
Fake Monica: Monana was very brave.
Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor!
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
Monica: 'Scuse me?
Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say?
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
Fake Monica: Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background.
Monica: What?
Fake Monica: Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?
Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned.
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Monica: Uh-huh.
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Monica: Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
Monica: Yo- hooo!
Monica: Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.
Monica: Noooo! (Comes closer and whispers) I'm lying. I am so drunk.
Rachel: Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...
(Monica is drinking from the tap)
Rachel: Monica? Monica!
Monica: Water rules!
Monica: Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today.
Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Monica: Helloooo? Yeah. Oh my God. Thanks.
Monica: They've arrested Monica.
[Scene: New York City Department of Correction, Monica is visiting Fake Monica.]
Monica: Hi.
Fake Monica: Hey.
Monica: How are you?
Fake Monica: I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my colour. How-how did you know I was here?
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
Fake Monica: That I was not expecting.
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
Fake Monica: Oh. Thanks.
Monica: No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!
Fake Monica: Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'.
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Monica: Well, not... worried, just... wondering.
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Monica: Not necessarily...
Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.
Monica: Um, I'm not actually Amish.
Fake Monica: Really? Then why are you like that?
[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]
Monica: In. (She joins in the dancing. She still flounders)
Monica: Yeah, but at least I'm doing it!
[Scene: The Airport, everyone but Monica is there to see off Marcel.]
Monica: No, of course not. It's not even an issue. Cause I told him I was 22.
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Monica: That could be a four or a five. It's your call.
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
Monica: Let's see, today's Monday... Never.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
[The Gellers glare at Monica.]
[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Monica: Im really gonna miss you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
MONICA: Ok. Oh boy. You are doin' so good. You wanna squeeze my hand? All right, Ross, don't squeeze it so hard. Honey, really, don't squeeze it so hard! Oh, Ross! Let go of my hand!
Monica: Oh, here.
[Scene: The Storage Room in the basement of Monica and Rachel's building, Monica and Rachel are looking for something.]
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'm just excited about being an aunt!
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
MONICA: Ya know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sorta fun but, you know, if people would just give it a chance... [volleyball hits her in the head from behind]
Monica: We are there!
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Monica: Oh my God!
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Monica: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and are groaning over their fullness.]
Monica: What are you talking about? (Pointing out the window.) She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left!
Monica: (pushes him and starts to cry) Oh shut up!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next morning, Monica and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Monica! (Pause) Would it?
Monica: Probably the only time I'll ever say this, but did you see the ass on her?
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
Monica: What?
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
MONICA: Cheers.� (She clinks his glass and pulls back.)� Okay, buh-bye.� (She closes the door.)
Monica: 5 6 7 8!
Monica: Was it really that good?
Monica: Youre a really good kisser.
Monica: Me too!
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Monica: Yes! (They run over to a platform)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
Monica: What? We could do it!
Monica: (to everybody) BECAUSE OF OUR MEDDLING! Alright?
Monica: Really?!
Monica: You serious?!
Monica: Check your numbers! Make me rich!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier.]
Monica: Rach, Phoebe hates Pottery Barn.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
MONICA: Yeah. You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off.
Monica: Okay-okay, I got it. I got it.
Monica: Yeah.
Chandler: (To Monica) So you came to the room looking for Joey? Did you ever in-intend on telling me about this?
Monica: Joey, you dont have too!
Monica: Tomorrow!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Monica: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
Joey: What-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
MONICA: It's on us, all right, so don't worry. It's our treat.
Monica: You got it from Pottery Barn?!
Monica: Is it okay for me to come in now?
Monica: No because it-it didnt seem important.
Monica: My God, Rachel, I cant believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, Im so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Well I didnt want everyone to think I was stupid.
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Monica: Im gonna miss you! (They hug.)
Monica: What happened to Janine?
[Cut to Ross and Monica, who are finally on a platform!]
Monica: (loudly) What?!! (Quietly) What?
Joey: You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica.
Monica: (in an Irish accent) Monica Gellerrr. (She rolls her R)
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Monica: We owe you?!
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
Monica: Why, do you write him a lot?
Rachel: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. Im just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Chandler: (To Monica) Yknow I think you can take her.
Monica: Absolutely!
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]