words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
Monica: Do you realize that four weeks from today were getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!!
Monica: Theres still so much to do. Have you written your vows yet?
Monica: Sweetie, you know I have no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding.
Monica: No! But I know exactly what Im going to say.
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Rachel: Monica what?
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: Those are my eyes! Those are my breasts. (Points.)
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah! (Monica glares at her.)
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Fat Monica: Hi, I'm Ross's little sister.
[Flashback to The One With The Jellyfish, Chandler and Monica are lying on the beach.]
Monica: Ennnh.
Monica: Ooh, are we allowed to lie in the vows?!
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Joey: Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, "Monica
Chandler: (writing) Monica
[This starts a series of flashbacks beginning with Monica and Chandler in the waiting room in The One With the Birth.]
Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?
Monica: Oh yeah? When?
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Monica: Well?
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
Chandler: Look, Monica
Monica: Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Monica: What?
Monica: You said you loved me! I can't believe this!
Monica: Yes, you did!
Monica: You love me!
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
[Cut to Chandler trying to hint to Monica that he wanted to move in with her in The One After Vegas.]
Monica: Then all your stuff would be here.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
(Monica gets down on one knee.)
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Yes.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Joey: How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass," inappropriate?
Ross: Hows Monica coming along with her vows?
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
Monica: Chicken? I could eat some chicken.
(Monica goes back underwater as Joey re-enters.)
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke(Yelps in pain as Monica grabs him underwater)Diet Coke.
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
Monica: Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows!
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
[Cut to Rachel listening to a phone conversation between Chandler and Monica in The One With All the Resolutions.]
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Monica: Bye!
Monica: Actually, I did!
Monica: Ohhh, oh my God! Oh my God! She knows about us!
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Monica: Them?! Who's them?
Monica: Joey!
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
[Cut to later in that episode. Phoebe is telling Rachel in Monica and Chandlers that Chandler wants to make a date with Phoebe.]
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
Monica: She's bluffing!
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
Monica: Of course.
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
Chandler: Because I'm in love with Monica!!
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Monica: I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)
Monica: Well actually, Ross doesn't.
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Monica: Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
[Cut back to Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Monica: Hey, you guys!
Monica: Oh thats so sweet.
Monica: Yeah, I dont hear Chandlers and he doesnt hear mine.
(They spilt into their sexes and the girls read Monicas and the guys read Chandlers. The girls gasp and groan and the guys laugh hysterically.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
Rachel: (To Monica) Monica, will-will you marry me?
Monica: Chandler!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Joey are reading Chandlers new vows.]
Chandler: I stole Monicas and changed the name.
Monica: Me too. (they all leave)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, minus Rachel, are getting ready for dinner.]
Monica: Not even close.
Monica: All right.
Monica: Now, open your eyes.
Monica: Put your head back.
Monica: Sit down. (They sit down on the couch.)
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Then why did you move?!
Monica: No drops!
Monica: Oh my God, I was thinking four.
Monica: (spitting out the eyedropper) Damn! It's empty!
Rachel: Monica! Stop it!
MONICA: Ok everybody, it's time for flan.
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Monica has all the supplies she needs and is getting ready to leave.]
MONICA: I thought she just had one.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica have returned from Julies.]
Monica: Well, its a set and they should probably stay together.
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone is ringing.]
Monica: (answering it) Hello?
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
Monica: Go!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is telling Chandler and Monica about her day.]
Rachel: Look! This is ridiculous. We should be packing you!! (She knocks over Monica, grabs a box, and runs into the kitchen.)
Monica: Well, if you wanna get a drink later we can.
(As she moves to get it, Monica yells )
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in the living room and Phoebe is standing in the kitchen as the phone rings.]
Monica: No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.
[Cut to Monica and Rachel's]
Chandler: Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so
Monica: See now-now youre taking them away from their home.
Monica: The Richard.
Monica: The strange part was, he was really nice, umm and he looks great, but I didn't feel anything at all!
Monica: Really?
Monica: I know.
Monica: What?
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
MONICA: Right now, Joey and Chandler's, go now.
Monica: I got you a present!
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Monica: But we can go, right?
Monica: Okay!
Monica: No.
Monica: (overhearing that) Why don't you just go out with her!
Monica: Ditch you? Phoebe, you were pregnant with the triplets!
Monica: Okay!
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy plane-aversary.
Monica: Really?!
Monica: Great!
Monica: Come on! Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke!
Monica: He's... our age.
Monica: I'm making cookies for Erica. And oh, by the way, we have to leave for the airport soon, her plane comes in about an hour.
Monica: Hey Rach, remember that great song, Me, Myself, and I? (And on the "I" part she mimics poking her eye.)
Monica: Phoebe, you don't eat animals.
Monica: Who are you talking too?
Monica: I'm so sorry.
Monica: Phoebe, you'll catch pneumonia.
Monica: I knew you were not okay with that.
Monica: I promise you, next time I will absolutely tell you.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Monica: No it is not!
Phoebe: (To Monica under her breath) Simmons! Go with Simmons!
Monica: Fine! Happy Anniversary!
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
(He starts taking his time opening it. Finally Monica snaps.)
Monica: Look, if you want you can keep it at our place until you find out what to do with it.
Monica: (to the bartender) Thank you.
MONICA: Could you guys please try to keep it down, we're trying to start a Boggle tournament.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
Monica: Forget it. (they all turn and listen to Billy and Robin)
Monica: Hmm.
Monica: Since we've been going out, I think I've mentioned his name twice!
Monica: (looks around) Well, with all these doctors and nurses, Im gonna say, midget rodeo.
Monica: What did you do to his sweater vests?
Monica: No! Thats where we keep the canned goods! Have you completely forgotten everything you learned at orientation?
MONICA: And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
Monica: Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me naked'.
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
Chandler: Monica. (Goes to talk to her.)
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross and Emily are standing in the reception area. Monica arrives with her parents.]
Chandler: Listen er..I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it.
Monica: Wait Chandler, what are you doing?!
Monica: Not any more.
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are dressing up Ben in the entire rain suit from Rainy Day Bear.]
Monica: Umm, going to the beach. When it stays light real late.
Monica: Chandler has two copies of Annie!
Monica: We have one.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Monica: Yeah, I couldn't be mad at him for too long.
Monica: What? It's still going on.
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
Monica: Yes!
Monica: Okay, good! Okay, what do I want now?