words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Monica: I need two. Im bringing Pete. My boyfriend. I have a boyfriend now!
Monica: Really? Whos number two?
Monica: Bye-bye!
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
Monica: (to Phoebe) Here you go. You can wear this. (hands her a sweater)
Monica: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: What?! Monica, Im scared!!
Monica: All right. Honey, thats-thats a sleeve. Okay?
Monica: And! We also have speaker phone. (She turns on the speaker phone.)
Monica: Okay, wait, you gotta hang up cause were gonna be late.
Monica: Of course not.
Monica: Theres our star!
Monica: Hi!
[cut to Monica, Pete, and Cailin]
Monica: Yeah, and in the long version, I dump him for telling people the short version.
Estelle: How do you do. (to Rachel and Monica) Ooh, you two girls were outstanding! (to Joey) Did they have representation?
Estelle: Ooh, what a shame! Because with her face (points to Monica) and her chest (points to Rachel) I could really put something together.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are returning. Phoebe is still on hold.]
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Yeah. Where were you?
Monica: You were the next caller five hours ago. You must be going crazy.
(Both Rachel and Monica walk into their bedrooms, stop, and come back into the living room with confused looks on their faces.)
Phoebe: Oh, okay, yeah. (to Monica) I put your stuff in her room, and her stuff in your room.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is STILL on hold.]
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Pheebs, youve been up for 24 hours! Go to sleep, honey. Th-this isnt healthy.
Monica: Hey! Didnt you have that outfit on last night?
Monica: Anyway, how did it go with Kate?
Monica: Joey, you had the night!
Monica: When two people finally realise their feelings for each other, and-and they talk for hours, and they-they learn all about the other person!
Monica: Did you like learn about her family?
Monica: Yes!!
Monica: Oh! (They hug, triumphantly.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch, Rachel is on the chair.]
Monica: One.
Chandler: 7:15. (Monica looks at him) Watch doesnt work.
Ross: No, its not just cause Im jealous. (Both Monica and Chandler give him a Come on look) I mean Im not, Im not, Im not jealous, okay? Its Look, the guy, he screamed, he actually screamed at this couple sitting in our seats.
Monica: Were kidding!
Monica; Ross!
Monica: Umm, going to the beach. When it stays light real late.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, except Joey, is there. Phoebe is, well you y'know.]
Monica: Phoebe, its been two days.
Monica: What?
Monica: (sarcastic) Oh.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all there.]
Monica: I cant be fair. Youre my boyfriend.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is finished telling everyone what happened.]
Monica: Well, an-anyway, I justthat night meant a lot to me, I guess Im just trying to say thanks.
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
(they fight a little, the phone falls and Monica picks it up)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except for Chandler. Rachel is writing something and Monica walks up.]
Monica: It's gonna be weird to watch some actor pretending to be Ben's dad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, morning. Someone knocks on the door and Monica gets it.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is reading Joeys interview.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and the gang is watching Sumo wrestling on TV.]
Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.
Rachel: Oh, ok, thank you. (Molly leaves) (to Monica) Do you see what all the guys see in her?
(Monica opens it anyways.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Monica are returning from their honeymoon.]
[Scene: the hotel game room. Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are telling everyone about their coma guy.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Monica: Yeah! Oh hes great, I love him. (Walks away and Chandler glares at Phoebe.)
Monica: Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse!
Monica: I wont care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. (Points to her heart.)
Monica: No youre fine. (Joey checks anyway.) All right well, do you think I could take Rachel?
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Ross! (To Rachel) See? Other people call me!
Monica: Hello, people who do not live here.
Monica: (looking at Rachels jeans) Where did you get those jeans?!
Monica: I warned you...
Monica: Sure, we have no money, go ahead.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Monica: Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up.
Monica: But my clothes areohh! (They both leave.)
Monica: I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information.
MONICA: Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
MONICA: Scary pigeon's back?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler comes running in. Everyone else is already there.]
Monica: Is he right? Am I reallyAm I awful?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel's surprise party. The apartment is festooned with cups. There are cups everywhere! Cup centerpiece, cup garland, etc., etc]
Phoebe: Ohh, you are so lucky! (To Chandler) Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the coffee table.]
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
[Scene: The hallway, Joey, Janine, Monica, and Chandler are returning from their second date.]
MONICA: Alright that's great, then just go. Go Knicks.
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
Monica: This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know its weird, its awkward, but you gotta at least try.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Monica: Yeah sure, nature called, she wanted to see who else did.
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Monica, Chandler, Rachel, and Ross are playing Monopoly as Phoebe enters angrily.]
MONICA: Not a basset, a bassinet.
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
ROSS: Monica, Monica, your guest are turning into jerky, OK.
Monica: This is so cool, maybe this is something you can do every week.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Monica: Yeah! Joey has the best boyfriend ever!
Monica: It's a diaper commercial.
MONICA: Over here dad. [he pans over and we see a torso taking up the whole screen]
Monica: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
[Scene: The craps table, Monica is on a big roll.]
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
MONICA: I don't know, Chandler. Let's take a look.
MONICA: Oh, I'm gonna kill those guys.
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Monica: Okay, we're gonna start in the kitchen. Plates get put into plate protectors and stacked ten to a box. The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped. Got it?
Monica: (Closing the door) Goodbye Mr.Heckles.
Monica: Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didnt.
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?
Monica: I dont know! I dontmaybe youre feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought youd get married first! Maybe you cant stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you!
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Monica: Okay. (She gets off him.) God well, we gotta go back and get them!
Phoebe: I cant believe youre gonna ask Monica to marry you!
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Monica: Because shes not gonna get to keep the babies.
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Monica: No you don't.
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Monica: Rachel?!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
Monica: What are you doing here so early?
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things...