words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, its your mom. (Hands him the phone.)
Monica: Wh-what are we gonna tell him?
Monica: And I have costumes.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are reading on the couch.]
Monica: Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says much about you?
Monica and Phoebe: Oh, thats great!!
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Monica: Still get a discount on wedding dresses?
Monica: Im so happy for you!
Monica: What?!
Monica: Oooh!
Monica and Phoebe: Ahhh!!
Chandler: No-no-no-no. (Waves him away as Monica and Phoebe enter whispering to each other.) Hey! (Monica shushes him.)
Phoebe: (To Monica) Anyway, I should go. Okay, bye.
Monica: (To Chandler) Hey sweetie.
Monica: I cant tell you. Its a secret.
Monica: Awww. (Kisses him.) But still no.
Monica: Really? Okay, so why dont you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland?
Monica: If you tell me, Ill tell you what Phoebe said.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Oh my God. He threw up?
Chandler: No, he visited a little town south of throw up. (Monica laughs hysterically.) So what was Phoebes secret?
Monica: Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebes old massage place is getting fired.
Monica: Thats right! You lose sucker!! (Pause) Please still marry me.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is setting the table for dinner as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Hey! Good, youre home!
Monica: Hey baby. (Kisses him.)
Monica: I made you a surprise.
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
Monica: Ross!
Monica: No! No. Theyre umm Theyre just uh ground beef smileys. (Holding up one of the shells.)
Monica: Excuse me Mr. Mexico.
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Im not laughing.
Chandler: Nancy Thompsons getting fired! (Monica slaps him on the shoulder.)
Ross: (To Monica) Look, okay-okay I had food poisoning! Its not like I choose to do it! Its not likeIts not like I said, "Umm, what would make this ride more fun?!"
Monica: Youre right. I mean Im sorry. Yeah, I shouldnt be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! (Runs off laughing which gets Chandler laughing.)
Ross: Oh really? Well I-I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City.
Monica: (running up to Ross) What happened in Atlantic City?!
Monica: (To Chandler) You kissed a guy?!! Oh my God.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.]
Monica: Oh my God! (Laughing)
Monica: I-I already told him everything! (Threateningly) You shush!!
Ross: Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box shed made.
Monica: Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
Ross: Monica couldnt tell time til she was 13!
Monica: Its hard for some people!
Chandler: (To Monica) Of course it is. (Mouths to Ross) Wowwhoa!
Monica: Chandler one time wore my underwear to work!
Monica: Ohh, Im sorry I couldnt think of anymore for Ross!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are sitting there and not talking to each other.]
Monica: Yknow, in my defense, umm there was no glitter on the macaroni and very little glue.
Chandler: (To Monica) You have no trouble telling time now right?
Monica: No!
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Monica: Yeah?
Monica: Ohh, absolutely.
Monica: Yeah, definitely!
Monica: Then, Id steer clear of Phoebe.
Ross: Man! (Monica mouths, "Im sorry.")
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Monica: Thats because he wasnt invited because of the way he behaved at our engagement party.
Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Monica: All right then. (He leans in to kiss her goodnight, but she quickly kisses him on the cheek and pats his shoulder.) Bye.
Monica: Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?
Monica: So big deal, so Joeys had a lot of girlfriends, it doesnt mean hes great in bed.
Monica: Anyway erm, are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff?
Monica: Okay! Okay! Make me sterile, but okay.
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Monica: You want a job? Turn off "Oprah," and send out a resume!
Monica: (To Chandler) Shhhh!!!
Monica: Okay. No need to panic. Deep breathes everyone. Okay umm uh, were just gonna have to spend some time and put the CDs in the right cases.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Phoebe: (spitting the cookie out onto a napkin) Oh, sweet Je(Beep)sus! Oh! Monica, these are the (laughing) cookies they serve in hell!
Monica: And then were gonna have a little Middle Eastern cous-cous. Something we can eat, with our hands.
Monica: Fine, you can have the bath, but I am taking your boat. Now youre just a girl in a tub!
Monica: Crematorium Chris? Sure!
Monica: Wow, this is so weird. I just realized this might be the last time we'll all be hanging out together.
[Scene: A hospital, Phoebe is recovering from her heart attack as Ross, Monica, and Chandler are there to comfort and support her.]
Monica: (to a whole group) Now, these are-are more realistic, but perishable.
Monica: Look! You knew this about me when you married me! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Well, this is my sickness!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Monica: You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Monica: Okay, good, cause umm, well maybe we could have a little workout of our own...
Chandler: Oh thats not true! Thats not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it (notices the look on Monica and Phoebes faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are there as Phoebe enters carrying a large box.]
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Rachel and Monica are arriving to talk to Ross after the lecture, but are there early.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe, still defying reality, are now throwing a bouquet at each other, pretending to catch the actual bouquet at an actual wedding.]
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Monica: So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler enters as Monica comes from the bathroom.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen, Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
Monica: Ok, I dont wanna be negative so Ill say that most of the signs you bought are good.
Monica: Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today!
MRS GREEN: Monica! You look gorgeous! Last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten.
MONICA: I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair.
Monica: All right, that Ill retract. But I stand by my review, I know food and that wasnt it. Youre marinara sauce tasted like tomato juice! You should serve it with vodka and a piece of celery.
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
[Cut to Monicas work kitchen, shes on fire again and Joey is putting her out.]
(Chandler enters the bathroom, and Monica is standing there in a towel, with her hair stuck in the shower curtain.)
[Scene: Monica's Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are waxing their legs.]
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Monica: Fine. (Brenda comes in to use the bathroom and adjusts her pink bra strap on the way.) Shes wearing my bra!
Monica: From the tequila factory?
Monica: Wendy bailed. I have no waitress.
MONICA: Well, my financially challenged friends, I split my money and I bought some shares of CHP and ZXY.
Monica: (Hushes her) Alright, great. Thanks a lot. (Hangs up) I'm going to tap class.
Monica: Okay. (They approach the craps table.)
[Scene: Hospital. Phoebe is there stroking Coma Guy's hair, when Monica enters with a bunch of balloons.]
Monica: Well that is great. And seriously, she seems very nice.
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
Phoebe: I know! Monicas gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is mixing some Thanksgiving treat (Im assuming mashed potatoes) in a bowl.]
MONICA: Well for your information he happens to be one of the brightest, most sophisticated, sexiest men I've ever been with.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Monica: I told you you were a bath person! Hey, when you get out, maybe I can give you a facial!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
Monica: All right... you're right. We're sorry. Now let's wake up Emma and get the fun time started!
Monica: Look, there's Chandler. You knew, that stupid friend of Ross'. Said I'm fat. You know I've already lost 4 pounds!
Monica: All right, all right. Maybe I can fit them in if I just do some rearranging. But uh, Rachel may actually have to sit at the bar!
Monica: Okay, were gonna need a distraction.
Monica: Oh. Thank you. Ohhh, thank you very much. Oh, thank you for coming. (Theres a knock on the door.) Uh, just a second!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Santa (Chandler), Superman (Joey), Ben, and Monica are listening to the Holiday Armadillo (Ross) finish telling the story of Hanukkah.]
Monica: Wait-wait, guys! If-if we follow the rules, it's still fun and it means something!
Monica: Im sorry, they just, they just look so good! And the saleswoman was looking at me like, "Oh, these are way too expensive for you."
[Monica goes to the stove.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there, discussing the night before.]
Monica: You dated her!
Monica: I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.
Monica: Oh, just until the glue dries.
Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.
Monica: (reading): OK... Dear Ms. Green... yeah... yeah... yeah... No. (crumpes up letter)
Monica: I wasnt escaping.
Monica: (getting out) No, Rachel never pees in public restrooms.
Monica: Maurice.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Are you wearing waterproof mascara?
[Gunther slips and falls just before reaching the back of the couch. Monica and Phoebe come into Central Perk.]
Monica: Were gonna pick up the wedding dress then were gonna have lunch with mom. (Joey stands up.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is alone as Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey enter dejectedly in softball gear.]
Monica: Does it involve travel?
Monica: Oh no, I already packed. The only thing I couldnt find though was your Speedo.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
(They all rush toward Rachel, who panics and runs away. She runs out of the park and up along the fence, she then comes back into the park and runs past Monica, as she gets to Monica, she throws the ball at Monica, and it hits her in the eye.)
Monica: Well if-if thats what it is, then its-its crazy.
Monica: (in the kitchen with Chandler) Look at them, they're-they're panicked!
Monica: Ohh! Did you do what I said? Did-did-did you tell her?
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
Monica: Listen Rachel, I feel really bad aboutWhat are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
Monica: No, no, no, thats Dina.
Fake Monica: Monana was very brave.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey, Chandler, Monica and the twins are there. Everything has been put into boxes.]
MONICA: No. No you can't go. No this is fun. Come on we're just getting started. Here, here's your marker.