words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, its your mom. (Hands him the phone.)
Monica: Wh-what are we gonna tell him?
Monica: And I have costumes.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are reading on the couch.]
Monica: Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says much about you?
Monica and Phoebe: Oh, thats great!!
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Monica: Still get a discount on wedding dresses?
Monica: Im so happy for you!
Monica: What?!
Monica: Oooh!
Monica and Phoebe: Ahhh!!
Chandler: No-no-no-no. (Waves him away as Monica and Phoebe enter whispering to each other.) Hey! (Monica shushes him.)
Phoebe: (To Monica) Anyway, I should go. Okay, bye.
Monica: (To Chandler) Hey sweetie.
Monica: I cant tell you. Its a secret.
Monica: Awww. (Kisses him.) But still no.
Monica: Really? Okay, so why dont you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland?
Monica: If you tell me, Ill tell you what Phoebe said.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Oh my God. He threw up?
Chandler: No, he visited a little town south of throw up. (Monica laughs hysterically.) So what was Phoebes secret?
Monica: Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebes old massage place is getting fired.
Monica: Thats right! You lose sucker!! (Pause) Please still marry me.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is setting the table for dinner as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Hey! Good, youre home!
Monica: Hey baby. (Kisses him.)
Monica: I made you a surprise.
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
Monica: Ross!
Monica: No! No. Theyre umm Theyre just uh ground beef smileys. (Holding up one of the shells.)
Monica: Excuse me Mr. Mexico.
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Im not laughing.
Chandler: Nancy Thompsons getting fired! (Monica slaps him on the shoulder.)
Ross: (To Monica) Look, okay-okay I had food poisoning! Its not like I choose to do it! Its not likeIts not like I said, "Umm, what would make this ride more fun?!"
Monica: Youre right. I mean Im sorry. Yeah, I shouldnt be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! (Runs off laughing which gets Chandler laughing.)
Ross: Oh really? Well I-I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City.
Monica: (running up to Ross) What happened in Atlantic City?!
Monica: (To Chandler) You kissed a guy?!! Oh my God.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.]
Monica: Oh my God! (Laughing)
Monica: I-I already told him everything! (Threateningly) You shush!!
Ross: Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box shed made.
Monica: Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
Ross: Monica couldnt tell time til she was 13!
Monica: Its hard for some people!
Chandler: (To Monica) Of course it is. (Mouths to Ross) Wowwhoa!
Monica: Chandler one time wore my underwear to work!
Monica: Ohh, Im sorry I couldnt think of anymore for Ross!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are sitting there and not talking to each other.]
Monica: Yknow, in my defense, umm there was no glitter on the macaroni and very little glue.
Chandler: (To Monica) You have no trouble telling time now right?
Monica: No!
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Monica: Yeah?
Monica: Ohh, absolutely.
Monica: Yeah, definitely!
Monica: Then, Id steer clear of Phoebe.
Ross: Man! (Monica mouths, "Im sorry.")
Monica: Well?
Monica: No, I haven't seen him.
Monica: Aww... (They hug)
(Monica and Rachel's door opens and Rachel and Paolo emerge)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]
MONICA: Did they just kill off Joey?
Monica: Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today.
Phoebe: Okay. Oh but dont tell them Monicas pregnant because, they frown on that.
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot.
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Monica: (without looking up from what she's doing) Besides tampons and salt? (Then looks) Ooh! My God! Maple candy! That's so sweet of you. (Opens the box) That's weird...it's empty!
Monica: (chasing after him) Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, dont worry about it!
Phoebe: Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
Joey: (entering) Hey uh Monica, I cant remember. Did we say we were gonna meet here or at the movies?
Monica: All right. Have you said, "I love you?" You could say, I love you.
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Monica: Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to.
Monica: Because I need the money, and I thought that itd be a great way to get rid of that last little schmidgen of self-respect.
Monica: Can we come in?
(Monica opens the door.)
Monica: Hi.
Monica: Ross, can I?
Monica: Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story. I've got a better question for you: Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes?
(Monica holds Ben.)
Monica: He is so amazing.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]
Monica: Awww, look at Aunt Monica's little boy!
Monica: (slams down cards) I hate this game!
Monica: Okay, I think I get how to do this.
Monica: OK, we got the cole slaw, we got the buns...
Monica: Hi! Hey, Pete youre back! Hey, check this out. (She starts to skate over to him)
JOEY: Oh, hey, Monica, we've got a question.
Monica and Phoebe: Ewww!
Monica: Hey.
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
Monica: No!! Why didnt you make a copy and-and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?!!
Monica: You're going to China?
Monica: Joey... we always know what you mean.
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: How was that possible?
Monica: And Mindy, your maid of...?
Monica: Okay, so you were trying to play bad this whole time.
MONICA: I'm just easing you in.
Monica: So, uh, have you ever thought about being there for her?
(Monica rolls her eyes.)
Monica: Think about it.
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Monica: Gosh, doesn't it seem like a million years ago?
Monica: Y'know, just be there for her.
Monica: I can't believe he did this.
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
Monica: Are you freaking kidding me, Green?
Monica: Ethan, it's um... it's icky.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Hey-hey, how goes the dancing? Gay yet?
Monica: Rachel, what're you gonna say to him?
Monica: I just thought he was nice, y'know?
Monica: From here to the airport?
Monica: Okay then, I dont stink. Im a good chef. Okay. (Starts to leave.)
Ross: So, Phoebs owes $7.50, Monica, you owe $10, and Rachel, you owe fifteen big ones.
Monica: Its only been a couple of hours, so just give it some time.
Monica and Phoebe: Sure.
Monica: Then why the hell are you dumping my brother?!?
Monica: Wait a minute! Unless, we give her all gifts she can use after shes done being pregnant. Like-like umm, regular coffee, Tequila.
Monica: Is there? Is there someone else?
Monica: Why isn't it working out?
Monica: Mail call, Rachel Green, bunk seven.
Monica: Oh, from who?
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
Monica: Aww, the only reason you want to go out with me because my blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
Monica: Oh, why?
Monica: (gets up) No, no, no, no, no, no pressure, no pressure!
Monica: No, you can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea.
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
Monica: No, its not bad. Its not bad at all. Its-its really nice.
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: Oh, hes catching up to her!
Monica: I'm sure they'll be here soon.
Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Dont call me mommy! Its bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.)
MONICA: There's a game?
MONICA: Oh God, you are about to get sooo lucky.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey, Ross, and Monica their drinks.]
Monica: Ohh come on, I love this song! Come on, youll be fine. (She starts to walk towards the floor.)
Monica: (pulling the plate back) Oh-ho! But not in here! Cant eat em in bed, remember? No crumbies!
Phoebe: Sure! (When Monica gets close to the door.) (Yelling) Yeah! Las Vegas, number one!
Monica: (to Julie) It's an expression.
Monica: Pheebes, you know what I'm thinking?
Monica: No you're not.
Monica: Why not?
Monica: No, although now that's what I'm thinking.
Monica: Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning.]
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Monica: Honey, you're not pathetic, you're sad.
Monica: Rachel, how did this happen?
[Monica and Phoebe enter.]
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]