words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, its your mom. (Hands him the phone.)
Monica: Wh-what are we gonna tell him?
Monica: And I have costumes.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are reading on the couch.]
Monica: Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says much about you?
Monica and Phoebe: Oh, thats great!!
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Monica: Still get a discount on wedding dresses?
Monica: Im so happy for you!
Monica: What?!
Monica: Oooh!
Monica and Phoebe: Ahhh!!
Chandler: No-no-no-no. (Waves him away as Monica and Phoebe enter whispering to each other.) Hey! (Monica shushes him.)
Phoebe: (To Monica) Anyway, I should go. Okay, bye.
Monica: (To Chandler) Hey sweetie.
Monica: I cant tell you. Its a secret.
Monica: Awww. (Kisses him.) But still no.
Monica: Really? Okay, so why dont you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland?
Monica: If you tell me, Ill tell you what Phoebe said.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Oh my God. He threw up?
Chandler: No, he visited a little town south of throw up. (Monica laughs hysterically.) So what was Phoebes secret?
Monica: Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebes old massage place is getting fired.
Monica: Thats right! You lose sucker!! (Pause) Please still marry me.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is setting the table for dinner as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Hey! Good, youre home!
Monica: Hey baby. (Kisses him.)
Monica: I made you a surprise.
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
Monica: Ross!
Monica: No! No. Theyre umm Theyre just uh ground beef smileys. (Holding up one of the shells.)
Monica: Excuse me Mr. Mexico.
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Im not laughing.
Chandler: Nancy Thompsons getting fired! (Monica slaps him on the shoulder.)
Ross: (To Monica) Look, okay-okay I had food poisoning! Its not like I choose to do it! Its not likeIts not like I said, "Umm, what would make this ride more fun?!"
Monica: Youre right. I mean Im sorry. Yeah, I shouldnt be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! (Runs off laughing which gets Chandler laughing.)
Ross: Oh really? Well I-I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City.
Monica: (running up to Ross) What happened in Atlantic City?!
Monica: (To Chandler) You kissed a guy?!! Oh my God.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.]
Monica: Oh my God! (Laughing)
Monica: I-I already told him everything! (Threateningly) You shush!!
Ross: Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box shed made.
Monica: Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
Ross: Monica couldnt tell time til she was 13!
Monica: Its hard for some people!
Chandler: (To Monica) Of course it is. (Mouths to Ross) Wowwhoa!
Monica: Chandler one time wore my underwear to work!
Monica: Ohh, Im sorry I couldnt think of anymore for Ross!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are sitting there and not talking to each other.]
Monica: Yknow, in my defense, umm there was no glitter on the macaroni and very little glue.
Chandler: (To Monica) You have no trouble telling time now right?
Monica: No!
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Monica: Yeah?
Monica: Ohh, absolutely.
Monica: Yeah, definitely!
Monica: Then, Id steer clear of Phoebe.
Ross: Man! (Monica mouths, "Im sorry.")
MONICA: Blow drying what, you have no hair.
[Monica enters from her bedroom.]
Monica: Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?
Chandler: Thank you, Mister Drunken Gambler! Okay, you get this and uh, we get the biggest suite in the place! (Everyone cheers) Wait-wait-wait-wait! We (motions to Monica and him.) get the biggest suite in the place.
Monica: Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
[Scene change back an forth: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica's on the other end of the line. The phone's speaker is turned on, so the rest of the gang, sitting around the phone, can hear Chandler.]
MONICA: Hey.
MONICA: You wanna get out of my face?
Monica: Thank you. So what does this Bob guy look like? Is he tall? Short?
MONICA: A mirror?
MONICA: Hey.
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
MONICA: No.
MONICA: Oh my God, it was incredible.
Monica: Well, that's it (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch?
Monica: (shouting on phone) Wendy, we had a deal! (Listens) Yeah, you promised! Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! (hangs up)
MONICA: Isn't it.
MONICA: Hey.
MONICA: Um-hmm.
Monica: I was just waiting for the perfect guy.
Monica: No! But, Im throwing this shirt away! I think there was a little misunderstanding before.
Monica: Yo- hooo!
MONICA: I wa-
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
[Chandler and Joey are watching, Rachel turns their heads away from Monica.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
MONICA: Who?
MONICA: Oh.
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
MONICA: Do you not remember the puppet guy?
MONICA: Finger cramp. Oh God, sorry. Here, let me get that mom.
MONICA: You're right.
MONICA: We're good.
MONICA: Are you sure this time?
MONICA: Yes. But all the other ones.
MONICA: Nice.
Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years.
MONICA: Woah, woah, woah, let's go back to 29.
MONICA: Yeah, well they suck too.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, everyone is still eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for a barbecue for Rachel's birthday.]
Helena: Im not very fond of New York. Queens I like. (Noticing Monicas ring.) Ooh, what is this sparkle something! (Shows the audience who woos.) Honey! Huh?
MONICA: [her and Phoebe tilt their heads] Oh, that's too bad.
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
Monica: Yeah, Ive just been fiddling around in here making delicious treats for everyone.
MONICA: Really.
MONICA: Wow.
MONICA: Why?
MONICA: Weird, weird.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Rachel: See your twenty-five...and...uh, Monica, get my purse.
MONICA: [seeing TV] Hey, I went up.
Monica: (jumps over a box) Honey, that's a great idea nailing the boxes to the floor!
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
Monica: (getting choked up) Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum.
MONICA: We didn't order cake.
MONICA: The head tilt?
Ross: (picking up Chi-Chis picture) Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Yknow Monica couldnt get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
MONICA: [answers the door] Dr. Greene. Oh my God it's Rachel's dad. What're you doing here?
[Scene: Outside Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is returning.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are busy unpacking.]
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
MONICA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, where are we on the hundred bucks?
MONICA: I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
Monica: Chandler, this actually bothers you?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Monica: Oh my God, what would have done if I said yes?
Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park.
Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?
CHANDLER: Hi Monica.
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
MONICA: What?
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
MONICA: Well, maybe you don't need them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Its closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Ross and Chandler. Monica is making food, and having everyone try it.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just gotten home and is going through the mail. She finds something that's Monica's and goes over and knocks on her closed bedroom door.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
Phoebe: (checking for herself) (To Monica) Mazel tov.
MONICA: So what happened?
Monica: And youve never been funnier. Joke, joke, joke, you were a hoot!
Monica: So what, you're not the only one. I mean, half the time we don't know where we're going. You've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together, and it's just gonna be... un-floopy.
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
[Monica slams the door back shut]
MONICA: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
Monica: So umm, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment?
MONICA: Just go.
MONICA: And his puppet too.
Monica: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross!
Monica: (stopping him) What, what are you doing? You cant go out there.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, one week later. Monica is seated, Rachel comes out of her bedroom.]
MONICA: You, and you, you're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here?
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
MONICA: Phoebe.
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are in the kitchen.]