words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Monica: Youre kidding!
Monica: Ross!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Monica: Oh my God, what a fun day! That sounds great!
Monica: Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Monica: Pheebs, hows it going?
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Monica: What do you mean?
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]
Monica: This is so great! This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound.
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Monica: And six others.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Monica: Yeah, two hours, a lifetime thats the same.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Monica: How are you still single?!
Monica: Good. What made you change your mind?
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because youre wearing the clothes?
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
Monica: The babies are asleep, Im sure youll be okay on your own for a while!
Monica: Hes got something plastic lodged in his throat, weve got to go to the hospital.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
(Monica enters and her jaw drops in horror.)
Monica: Oh my God.
Monica: Phoebe, what, what happened here?!
Monica: But my apartment!
Monica: But the mess!
Monica: Youre right, youre right I shouldnt freak out. Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Monica: You stink!
Rachel: Hey, Monica!
Monica: Hey, Joey, could you pass the cheese?
Monica: Sweety, what are you talking about?
Monica: Uh-oh, whats the matter?
Pete: Monica, I want to become (pause) the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Monica: I cant! I have to work!
Monica: I think shes here.
Woman: Hello! (Monica screams)
MONICA: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Monica: All right, then show me some manly moves.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Chandler and Monica enters.]
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
Monica: So you hit her in the face?
Monica: What?
Monica: All right, come on, I'm-I'm late for work!
Monica: Hey! Youre wearing pants!
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Monica: Oh-oh, my God!
Monica: Its 9:30 in the morning!
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Monica: Why do you care so much anyway?
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
Monica: A couple of days.
[Scene: Hallway between the apartments. Chandler comes out wearing spandex, jogging in place. Monica is there.]
Monica: Yeah, come on, we can be guys!
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Rachel: Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! (Monica opens the door.) Emily?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the ring he bought and not liking it.]
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
Monica: So, we did okay at the strip club, right?
Monica: Come on! Chandler!
Monica: Really?!
Monica: Thats-thats not Phase Three.
Joey: Hey, Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King?
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Monica: Oh, Chantal!
Monica: Hey!
Monica: (looking at Chandler sleeping with a balloon in his mouth) So sexy. (Waking him up.) Honey.
Monica: Wait, now, what am I doing again?
Monica: They wouldnt have put it there if it didnt do something! How can you not care?
Monica: Hey, guys, guys, did you see my new, china cabinet?!
(Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.)
Monica: Janice?!
Monica: How have you been?
MONICA: Fine, go have sex.
RACHEL: Monica, what are you talking about? You don't know the first thing about the stock market.
Monica: Wow! And you got a petticure. Your feet are all dressed up.
Monica: (she enters with a headset on and she's speaking into the microphone) Well, it matters to me!
Monica: So, did you play in college? (She points to his NYU Soccer (football for the rest of the world) sweatshirt he's wearing.)
Monica: Done?
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
Phoebe: This is so cool, til Monica gets back, its like Im head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.)
(Rachel brightly limps back across the apartment with glasses of wine for the cute doctors, leaving an open-mouthed Monica in her wake.)
Ross: (to Monica) Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving.
JOEY: Monica, relax, go get a beer.
Monica: Used to work with her. Used to! Im a relative and I didnt get invited! A blood relative! Blood!!
Monica: Because your all gonna make up fake specials and make me cook them like you did the other night?
Monica: Ah, well if you dont clear this off, you wont be getting one of those from me. But Bens coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this cant be there.
Monica: Saucy!
Monica: Umm. (nodding her head, "Good.")
Monica: Well, it was the first time. Yknow, theres not always a lot of agreement the first time.
Monica: He asked you out?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's hotel room. They enter.]
Monica: I-I-I think you look great.
Phoebe: (pushing Monica back onto the couch) Its so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go!
Monica: Hi!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica enters with some mail.]
Monica: No-no-no, no!
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Mrs. Geller: No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Monica: Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong?
MONICA: Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it.
Monica: Thats because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid. But hey, y'know if you dont believe me, please, by my guest.
[Time lapse, Monica accidentally spilled her drink on Bob's shirt and is wiping it off. Joey is making eyes at Angela.]
Monica: Okay. (She does so and starts to walk towards Joey to receive her pancakes.)
Monica: Yeah, I talked to you on the phone, Im the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed.
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
MONICA: A salad? Really I, I could do something a little more complicated if you like.
Phoebe: I sang. (To Monica) Hah!
Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve?
Ross: I found a note on my door, "Come to Monicas quick, bring champagne and a Three Musketeers bar."
Monica: (laughing harder) You know the words! You are so into this!
Monica: Wow. That is not a happy hi.
Monica: Okay, but wouldnt it be easier if you had to tell me something that you could tell me.
Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)
Ross: (interrupting Monica and Emily) So we should probably get going soon.
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Monica: You changed?
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
Monica: We thought since Phoebe was staying over tonight we'd have kinda like a slumber party thing. We got some trashy magazines, we got cookie dough, we got Twister... (The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Monica: Or Spin the Bottle?