words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Monica: Youre kidding!
Monica: Ross!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Monica: Oh my God, what a fun day! That sounds great!
Monica: Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Monica: Pheebs, hows it going?
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Monica: What do you mean?
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]
Monica: This is so great! This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound.
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Monica: And six others.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Monica: Yeah, two hours, a lifetime thats the same.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Monica: How are you still single?!
Monica: Good. What made you change your mind?
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because youre wearing the clothes?
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
Monica: The babies are asleep, Im sure youll be okay on your own for a while!
Monica: Hes got something plastic lodged in his throat, weve got to go to the hospital.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
(Monica enters and her jaw drops in horror.)
Monica: Oh my God.
Monica: Phoebe, what, what happened here?!
Monica: But my apartment!
Monica: But the mess!
Monica: Youre right, youre right I shouldnt freak out. Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!
(Monica is now smiling)
Chandler: They were just giving those away at the store (off Monicas look) in exchange for money.
Monica: Oh! Enough! A monkey could have made 'em!
Monica: Yeah, they do seem to feel pretty bad.
(Monica takes it and reads the label)
Monica: Grand Supreme Little Darling?
Monica: The three of us?
Monica: Joey, that is not gonna work.
Monica: Okay, try it.
Monica: Bring it.
Monica: Here you go!
(And with that, an era ends as Chandler moves in with Monica as Rachel moves in with Phoebe. It tis a sad and happy time for Friends.)
Monica: Oh!
Monica: Chandler, where are your tools?
Monica: I do, but Rachel borrowed them.
Rachel: To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio.
Monica: There's a pregnant woman in Ohio, and she picked us!
Monica: WE'RE GETTING A BABY!
Monica: That was the adoption agency...
(Monica enters from the spare bedroom.)
Monica: (very emotional) I don't care.
Monica: Hey!
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Monica: ...and head to Canada!
Monica: And a lot could still get in our way.
Monica: Oh my God. She's gonna pick us!
Monica: Well... obviously!
Monica: Uh, we're gonna be great.
Chandler: I suppose that Monica will have the � manipulative shrew.
Monica: Hi. It is so, so nice to meet you.
Monica: I don't know about that.
Monica: (Gets up) Okay, okay. You two (to Phoebe and Rachel) go get the dessert. And I'll let you in.
Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Monica: (naughty in doorway) Welcome home. I�ve missed you. join me in the bedroom?
Monica: Thank you. (To Chandler.) I think I just had a tiny orgasm.
Monica: Uh, good hands. (she holds Chandler hands) Healing hands.
Monica: We don’t?
Monica: (thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Monica: God works in mysterious ways.
Monica: But she liked us.
Chandler: She likes Doctor Chandler and Reverend Monica.
Monica: (Almost crying) Please.. please, we are so close.
Monica: It's too late for apologies.
Monica: (sniffing) Maybe she will. Uh! Why couldn't I have been a Reverend?
Monica: (She gives Joey a you-are-so-stupid-look) Ok, ten.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]
Phoebe: Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyoneanyway.
Janice: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler and Monica enter.]
MONICA: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
Monica: I can't believe it! (pause) I lost!
Monica: (pointing to a picture on the table) I-Is... Is that a picture?
Monica: Look, doctor!
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. (holds up the sonogram)
Chandler: Well, our names really are Monica and Chandler. We're from New York.
(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)
Monica: But we were hoping that since we told you the truth that you still might consider...
Joey: No-no! No! I mean it's gonna be all smelling like Monica!
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Monica: God bless you Chandler Bing!
Monica: I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time!
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica sits on the couch and Phoebe is pacing up and down the room.]
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Monica are walking down the sidewalk after his office holiday party.]
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Chandler enters the door.]
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Monica: Nancy doesn’t smoke!
Monica: So? What do you think of the house?
Monica: So? Do you think we should get it?
Monica: Hey! You smell like perfume and cigarettes.
Monica: Don’t you love the huge yard?
Monica: Wait a minute, you stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac-Man while I went off to work like some kind of chump?!
Monica: I think we should.
Monica: Okay. Right. Oh my God that is gonna be so hard.
Monica: This is huge!
Monica: How bad you wanna smoke, right now.
Monica: No, he’s picking up dinner, why, what’s up?
Monica: What?
Monica (puzzled): All right...
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God that’s awful! What did you think of the house?
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Monica: (turns to them) Ok, alright, you guys, you'd better sit down, this is pretty big.
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Monica: And about an hour ago, we made an offer.
Joey: All right. Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time, and sure there are rules, but then you went to London. Oh, no, but thats different. I mean, there are rules there, too! You know what I mean?
Monica: I know! Hey, you havent been practising the routine, have you?
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
Rachel: Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
Monica: Every year.
Monica: Technicality!
Monica: Deal!