words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Monica: Youre kidding!
Monica: Ross!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Monica: Oh my God, what a fun day! That sounds great!
Monica: Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Monica: Pheebs, hows it going?
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Monica: What do you mean?
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]
Monica: This is so great! This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound.
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Monica: And six others.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Monica: Yeah, two hours, a lifetime thats the same.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Monica: How are you still single?!
Monica: Good. What made you change your mind?
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because youre wearing the clothes?
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
Monica: The babies are asleep, Im sure youll be okay on your own for a while!
Monica: Hes got something plastic lodged in his throat, weve got to go to the hospital.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
(Monica enters and her jaw drops in horror.)
Monica: Oh my God.
Monica: Phoebe, what, what happened here?!
Monica: But my apartment!
Monica: But the mess!
Monica: Youre right, youre right I shouldnt freak out. Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!
Monica: No, sorry sweety..
Monica: No, sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]
Monica: Ross, cough drops, please?
Monica: What? So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else?
Monica: Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken.
Monica: Yeah! But, he can't not exactly see Emily, I mean that's his wife.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Chandler enters.]
(Monica is drinking from the tap)
Monica: (entering) Phoebe? (Phoebe comes back into the living room) Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry. Have you been here long?
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Monica: Well, you're not working either.
Monica: I don't know.
Monica: Yeah, that'd be great! Thank you!
Chip: Amy Welch? Wow! I havent seen her since... So, Monica about ready?
[Monica enters]
Monica: Hey!
[Scene: The ladies' bathroom at the restaurant, Monica and Angela are talking.]
Monica: Okay.
Monica: No, that's not mine.
Monica: No. I hate this part.
Monica: Hey, don't say that! You got just as good a chance as anybody else of getting that job!
Monica: Um, and, well there's the.. the the small matter of...
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: Hey!!
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
(Monica takes of her walkman)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is sweeping and Monica is sitting at the kitchen table.]
Monica: Phoebe, she sounded pretty upset to me.
Monica: What?
Ross: Monica, come on now. Let's go, baby coming.
Monica: Okay. So what do you.... you think she's faking?
Monica: Deal!
Monica: Doing great, the quiches are coming along.
Monica: Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand. (Holds up her hand.)
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Monica: I'm gonna leave some cards here. Please think of us for you next event.
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Monica: Can you go any faster with that?
MONICA: Woo-hoo, stuud!
Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
Monica: It's so good, isn't it?
Monica: Oh, that's great! Congratulations!
Monica: Um, okay, here it goes. I'm not 22. I'm, I'm 25... and thirteen months.
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
Monica: Sixty guests.
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Monica: No?
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Monica: Hi. Uh, you... you don't know me, I'm Monica Geller... Ross's sister.
Monica: No! Steady as a rock! Now, are you with me.
Monica: Oh, I know, I never wear fake ones. I just did it so my Mom wouldnt give me grief about me biting them.
Monica: Ours is so much better! This living room is smaller, the dining room looks like a cave! What a hole!
Monica and Ross: Scuse us
Monica: What the hell is this? (holding up the check)
Monica: Oh man! I did it again!
Monica: Yeah!
(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monicas door, they all jump back at the sound.)
Monica: Of course not. I mean gosh, Chandler what you did, it's, it's a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it. I know I have this weird thing where I want everything to be in the perfect place, but I'd never expect you to worry about that.
Monica: Come on!
Monica: Jeffery.
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
[Monica enters carrying food that's been delivered]
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
MONICA: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
Monica: Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! All right, y'know what, Ill prove it to you, okay. Ill trade you Joey for Rachel, and Ill still win the game.
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Monica: Okay. Umm, Phoebe, you suck too.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Hey, arent you up next?
(Rachel and Monica look at each other, and agree on something without saying anything.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The entire gang is there.]
Monica: Are you serious?
Monica: I remember you did.
Ross: Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
Monica: (removing ear plugs) What?
Monica: All right, eight we get married, but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 we dont get married.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
Monica: All right, big brother. (holds up two erm revealing articles of clothing) Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her?
Pete: Yeah. Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think?
Monica: (joining him and taking the taco shells) You know that? You don't want to spoil your appetite.
Monica: Yes!!
Monica: Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
Monica: Hes not boring! Hes just-hes just low key.
Chandler: Okay. (to Monica) Its a racecar.
Monica: Oh my God! You still have the Chipper!
Monica: Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]
Monica: I hadn't! Photo 152 was a prototype.
Monica: We havent eaten yet!
(Monica looks at Rachel, who gives her the thumbs up.)
[Scene: The Gellers Kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are still cooking.]
Monica: You look great too.
Monica: So how does it look?
MONICA: Then I won't have to kill you.
Monica: No way!
Monica: (disappointed) Oh.
Monica: (happy) Oh.
Monica: I know.