words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
Monica: Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Monica: (laughs) Well thats the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide!
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Monica: Im really not deciding!
Monica: Yeah thats right.
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Itssince youve never done it before you can be Monicas made of honor.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just gotten back from brunch and is telling Chandler about it.]
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
Monica: No, its more like a (sarcastically) good luck.
Monica: She was like 30, dark hair, attractive.
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Oh my God yes! Who is she?
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Monica: Why?
Monica: Fat?!
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Monica: Well, apparently she does.
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me.
Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monicas maid of honor!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is approaching the bathroom door behind which Chandler is using the facility.]
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Monica: Youre Lewis Posin.
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
Monica: No, I know. But yknow what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Ross: (playing the drunk uncle) When Monica was a little girl, I remember that(Phoebe screams and tackles him)Ooh!! Ow! Very good!
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Its a nickname, Ill explain later.
Monica: Its pretty clear.
Rachel: Well yknow what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica have returned from Julies.]
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Monica: All right, I I have to ask.
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: Well, you broke up with Julie Grath! How much weight could she have gained?
Monica: In one year?! My God what did she eat? Her-her family! Thats not the point.
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
Monica: How?
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Monica: Keep going.
Monica: Even if I shrink down to two inches tall?
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, umm when-when Monica and Chandler got engaged I started putting some stuff together, yknow just in case
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Monica: (entering) Hey, whats going on?
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Monica: Because there are so many terrible sights in this world.
MONICA: Shut up.
MONICA: How do you know exactly what she's going through?
[Monica goes in the bathroom]
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
MONICA: Cut it out.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
Monica: Okay, I-I d'know, you-you just- you have a quality.
MONICA: I promise you, he would definitely want you back.
Monica: Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee.
MONICA: I was.
Monica: I can't belive it, I'm gonna be an aunt. I'm gonna have like a nephew.
MONICA: Did she leave a number?
MONICA: I'm not a baby, you're the baby.
Monica: I swear I didnt know she was a hooker! I mean whDid you let her smoke in here?
Monica: Aww thanks! God Will Im so glad that you came! You look great! You mustve lost like
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
MONICA: My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally.
MONICA: Did you like it?
Rachel: Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that?
Phoebe: Good. (Phoebe and Mrs. Burkart go into the other room, leaving Monica with everyone staring at her.)
MONICA: I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight.
MONICA: Bite me.
MONICA: It's my TV.
MONICA: Not that, this, US. Oh my God, Ross, you-re, you're, it's jus-, you-, ever sin- you been here.
MONICA: Well, I just caught the live show.
MONICA: Oh that's great, why don't you tell mommy on me.
MONICA: Fun? Fun, you think this is fun?
MONICA: Ross, I hated you when we were kids.
MONICA: Now I love you. And not just 'cause I have to.
Monica: Because we're moving in a couple of days and it just didn't make sense.
MONICA: Yeah, thanks. You know what?
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Rachel, and Monica are hanging out.]
MONICA: Sure.
Monica: Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
MONICA: So what're you gonna do?
MONICA: Ok, all right. It was an accident, I swear, all right. I was putting on my jacket, and the thing, and the lamp, and it broke.
PHOEBE: Monica.
MONICA: [sings] They won't take you to the vet.
RACHEL, MONICA, ROY, and CHIP: Bye.
MONICA: Joey.
MONICA: We, we just wanna see the end.
Monica: So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isnt the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now Im just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean?
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy."
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Chandler has a jug of milk in his hands and decides to make some warm milk. He opens up the cabinet to get a pot and manages to knock several other pots onto the floor making a lot of noise.]
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isnt something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
Monica: Bedsprings, unmistakable!
[Monica pulls out a bag full of airline bottles of liquor.]
MONICA: Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.
MONICA: Shut up, I'm happy.
MONICA: Not a lot, Phoebe's kidding, Phoebe's crazy.
Monica: Not necessarily...
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel are returning.]
Monica: Who's Gladys? (Phoebe shows her a horrific painting with a half-a-body girl dummy coming out of the frame. Monica's frightened and she gasps.) Oh! What a tragic loss!
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
[Scene: The movie set. Monica and Rachel are saying goodbye to Jean-Claude]
MONICA: Well yeah.
MONICA: You really ok with it?
MONICA: Oh, yay. Ok about that two.
Monica: Okay Marjorie, hit it.
Ross: Well, I'm gonna go get ready, (Gives Monica the fist thing.) for my date tonight, so ah, I'll just_ head.
MONICA: But you've only slept with two people.
MONICA: Well, it just seems like a really small number.
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting there and Monica walks in.]
MONICA: I know. I just can't find...
RICHARD: Monica.
MONICA: There's only one.
MONICA: You need one too?
MONICA: No.
MONICA: Yeah.
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
Monica: Ill take care of it.
MONICA: Dad, I'm the twinkie.
MONICA: Why?
MONICA: Wait, he's not here yet.
MONICA: Alright.
MONICA: Blow drying what, you have no hair.
[Monica enters from her bedroom.]
Monica: Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?
Chandler: Thank you, Mister Drunken Gambler! Okay, you get this and uh, we get the biggest suite in the place! (Everyone cheers) Wait-wait-wait-wait! We (motions to Monica and him.) get the biggest suite in the place.
Monica: Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
[Scene change back an forth: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica's on the other end of the line. The phone's speaker is turned on, so the rest of the gang, sitting around the phone, can hear Chandler.]
MONICA: Hey.
MONICA: You wanna get out of my face?
Monica: Thank you. So what does this Bob guy look like? Is he tall? Short?
MONICA: A mirror?
MONICA: Hey.
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
Chandler: No-no-no-no. (Waves him away as Monica and Phoebe enter whispering to each other.) Hey! (Monica shushes him.)
MONICA: No.
MONICA: Oh my God, it was incredible.
Monica: Well, that's it (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch?
Monica: (shouting on phone) Wendy, we had a deal! (Listens) Yeah, you promised! Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! (hangs up)
MONICA: Isn't it.