words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
Monica: Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Monica: (laughs) Well thats the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide!
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Monica: Im really not deciding!
Monica: Yeah thats right.
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Itssince youve never done it before you can be Monicas made of honor.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just gotten back from brunch and is telling Chandler about it.]
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
Monica: No, its more like a (sarcastically) good luck.
Monica: She was like 30, dark hair, attractive.
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Oh my God yes! Who is she?
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Monica: Why?
Monica: Fat?!
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Monica: Well, apparently she does.
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me.
Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monicas maid of honor!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is approaching the bathroom door behind which Chandler is using the facility.]
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Monica: Youre Lewis Posin.
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
Monica: No, I know. But yknow what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Ross: (playing the drunk uncle) When Monica was a little girl, I remember that(Phoebe screams and tackles him)Ooh!! Ow! Very good!
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Its a nickname, Ill explain later.
Monica: Its pretty clear.
Rachel: Well yknow what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica have returned from Julies.]
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Monica: All right, I I have to ask.
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: Well, you broke up with Julie Grath! How much weight could she have gained?
Monica: In one year?! My God what did she eat? Her-her family! Thats not the point.
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
Monica: How?
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Monica: Keep going.
Monica: Even if I shrink down to two inches tall?
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, umm when-when Monica and Chandler got engaged I started putting some stuff together, yknow just in case
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Monica: (entering) Hey, whats going on?
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Monica: Oh, we weren't talking about you. No, no way to recover.
Monica: Oh yeah that's what you want - my inhibitions lowered.
Joey: You don't wanna see what I just saw! (at this moment Monica comes home, and sees Chandler flat on his back on the floor and Joey pinning him down)
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Monica: About nineteen pounds.
Jeannine: (to Monica) All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. You'd better go for it.
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
Monica: She doesn't have a stomach-ache. She's in labor!
Monica: Honey, you can relax. Last night at work, Geoffrey told this really sexist joke. After that, not so funny anymore.
Rachel: Monica! Im not gonna screw it up!
MONICA: Tell him that you haven't seen your wife in a long time.� Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult.� Tell him that what little time we have is precious.
Phoebe: Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. (Chandler and Monica look puzzled) Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one.
Chandler: Yeah, not bad right? You know what, Monicas gonna be working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless. You know what else I'm gonna do, know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go downstairs, I'm gonna get her some flowers. Now who wouldn't wanna live with me?
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
[Cut to the city street. Monica and Chandler are jogging. Chandler is lagging behind so he hops in a cab and takes off, leaving Monica behind]
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are entering and finding their table.]
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
Monica: Oh my God! No wonder I get such great service at Cafe Maurice.
Monica: Good! Now I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you are doing it wrong.
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering carry a large box, Monica is mopping the ceiling.]
Monica: I still say that if we had called your dad we coulda gotten better seats.
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Monica: Ugh! Well, yknow, we were away
Chandler: Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) youre doing great. Youre doing great. Youre doing fine.
Chandler: You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that.
Monica: Okay, so it doesnt involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey. But, what about Pete?
Monica: Okay. (Climbs back on his back.) All right.
[Fun Bobby leaves and Monica goes back inside.]
Monica: Oh honey, were close now but you-you wouldnt believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....(Phoebe shakes her head like she doesnt understand) Thats where the waistband actually goes over your head.
MONICA: Cache? Jaunty?
Monica: No! Everything's cold. The turkey's dried out and the... the stuffing is all soggy.
Monica: Hi, sorry. I almost didnt hear you, because yknow Im just so in love with my new husband. Were on our honeymoon.
[Scene: The restaurant. Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table]
Monica: Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three.
Monica: (to Phoebe) I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) (to Monica) Honey, dont bite your nails.
[Flashback to 702 - TOW Rachel's Book] [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Chandler: (to Monica) Look! Look! Look what the... Look what... Look what the floating heads did!
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Monica: Yeah, you really shouldn't. (to Ross, sarcastically) By the way, how was that year-long dig in Cairo?
Chandler: Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne...
Monica: Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor. (looks very convinced about what she just said)
Rachel and Monica: Oh god, waddawe do, waddawe do, waddawe do?
Ross: (to the class) Right! So when Rigby got his samples back from the laboratory he made a startling discovery! What he believed to be igneous, was in fact sedimentary. Imagine his consternation when(sees Monica and Rachel.) Oh bloody hell.
Chandler: Oh, okay, thanks. (He goes back to the couch and rejoins Monica, Joey, and Phoebe.)
(Monica opens the door for Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Geoffrey.)
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
Monica: I mean I-I don't I think I have enough quarters.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, and Monica are still playing catch, with Chandler looking on. Joey throws the ball to Monica who catches it and whips it at Ross.]
Phoebe: Ugh! I dont know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janices ex-husband, thats like betraying Chandler.
Monica: Chandler, relax its not a contest. (To Rachel) Certainly not a close one.
Monica: Congratulations! Wow! I cant believe youre nominated for an Emmy!
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
Monica: But the minute we start to lie to each other (Pauses after she realizes what she's saying.) And by 'we' I mean society.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone except Chandler is there; they're opening their presents]
[Scene: The guest bedroom. Rachel and Monica are talking to each other.]
Monica: Were going to Las Vegas to see your dad. Its time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law.
Monica: See what happens when you give people advice? I hope you told him not to?
Monica: Son of a gun, it is!
Monica: Oh, wow, can you believe you're like three weeks away?
Monica: Oh, you two must have been so cute running around on a barge.
Monica: (to Chandler) Is he gonna introduce us?
Monica: When girls hang out, we dont have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) Im sorry. We do. We do. I dont know why I said that.
Chandler: That's great. (To Monica.) Can I see the book?
Monica: How ya feelin?
Monica: Alright, we're gonna have to unscrew the chain.
Monica: Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it.
Monica: You made pancakes?
Monica: Oh! You assume because I was heavy that's the only way I could win something?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
CHANDLER: Hey, guys, it's after midnight, merry Christmas everyone. [Ross and Phoebe hug, Monica and Rachel hug, Chandler is left standing]
Monica: Whos Mr. Girabaldi?
Monica: Its not like I want to get married tomorrow! Its just that I-Id like to believe that Im in a relationship thats actually going somewhere, that Im not just wasting my time!
Ross: (walks up) Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Ross are standing in the kitchen. Ross is filling out a check]
Pete: Ah, no it's not. I've got picture-in-picture here. (to other caller) Yeah. (listens) Yeah, okay. I'm gonna have to call you back later. (pause) Monica? You. I'm gonna have to call you back.
Monica: Hmm, no. I mean how can I accept a restaurant from him? I-I-I-I cant. I couldnt even accept a necklace from Stu Vincent in the seventh grade.
Monica: Ohhh! What are you doing to me?! Oh look, I-I Im sorry but umm, this-this-this-this is not going to happen.
[Scene: A restaurant. Fun Bobby and Monica are ordering.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is showing off more of her drum skills to Joey by rubbing one of the sticks back and forth across the drum.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe, back to reality, are sitting in normal clothes.]
MONICA: You're the most wonderful man. And if you hadn't of said 'if I have to' like seventeen times, then I'd be saying 'okay, let's do it.'
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Monica: Well, maybe she thought that with all of your history it could be, you know, implicit.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the cookie trying period has pasted. Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are reflecting on the days events.]
Monica: Or incredibly offensive.
Monica: Im not sick!! I dont get sick! Getting sick is for weaklings and for pansies!
[Time Lapse, the gang is now watching Law & Order. By the way, the entire rest of the episode takes place in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together? Something to think about.]
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him and he puts down his glass.)
Monica: I know, Ive been looking at those doors, they look pretty sound proof, dont you think?
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)
Rachel (to Steve): Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? (To Monica.) What's up?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Monica: Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesnt seem so bad? (Exits.)
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y’know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y’know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she’ll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I’d like.