words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
Monica: Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Monica: (laughs) Well thats the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide!
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Monica: Im really not deciding!
Monica: Yeah thats right.
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Itssince youve never done it before you can be Monicas made of honor.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just gotten back from brunch and is telling Chandler about it.]
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
Monica: No, its more like a (sarcastically) good luck.
Monica: She was like 30, dark hair, attractive.
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Oh my God yes! Who is she?
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Monica: Why?
Monica: Fat?!
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Monica: Well, apparently she does.
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me.
Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monicas maid of honor!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is approaching the bathroom door behind which Chandler is using the facility.]
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Monica: Youre Lewis Posin.
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
Monica: No, I know. But yknow what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Ross: (playing the drunk uncle) When Monica was a little girl, I remember that(Phoebe screams and tackles him)Ooh!! Ow! Very good!
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Its a nickname, Ill explain later.
Monica: Its pretty clear.
Rachel: Well yknow what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica have returned from Julies.]
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Monica: All right, I I have to ask.
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: Well, you broke up with Julie Grath! How much weight could she have gained?
Monica: In one year?! My God what did she eat? Her-her family! Thats not the point.
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
Monica: How?
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Monica: Keep going.
Monica: Even if I shrink down to two inches tall?
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, umm when-when Monica and Chandler got engaged I started putting some stuff together, yknow just in case
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Monica: (entering) Hey, whats going on?
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Monica: Thats not even a word! I can get this! I can get this!
Phoebe: Monica!
Monica: Pizza?!
Monica: Really?!
Monica: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Monica: Thank you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are carrying in the foosball table.]
MONICA: You are not a freak. You're a guy.
Monica: A wuss? Excuse me for living in the real world, okay?
Phoebe: Okay Rachel, I cant wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! Well have so much fun!!
Monica: (entering) Okay, its ready. Come on.
Joey: I call Monicas room!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Rachel are entering with the rest of the gang already inside.]
(Monica enters)
(Phoebe snaps the ball to Monica, who pitches back to Rachel.)
Monica: I've got a plan. I've got a plan. I'm going to ram this platter really hard into your ribs. You're gonna scream out and that'll wake her up!
Chandler: You cant just call Monicas room.
Monica: Oh, it was great! The widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at her 'til she did.
Monica: All right, youre hired!
[Scene: The delivery room, everyone except Rachel is there. Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are holding the babies.]
Monica, Rachel, and Joey: Yes!
MONICA: Well, I guess now we can't go.
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
Monica: You want a problem? Ill give you a problem!
Monica: Hey.
Monica: What are you doing?!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is making reservations.]
Monica: (sees two people exit) Okay, those people just left, come on! Quick! Give him the money and get their table!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is working as Monica enters.]
Monica: What the hell happened?!
Monica: What kinda things have you been saying?
Monica: (holding up a glove) Oh, an old glove?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same night. There is a knock on the door and Chandler answers it to reveal Emily standing behind it.]
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there. I think its The One With The Joke.]
Monica: How do you feel?
Monica: Oh, then you do know it. (pause) So um what kind of things do you write about?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is coming to a close.]
Monica: Oh God! Orange juice just came out of my nose, but it was totally worth it. Oh my God, I completely forgot about your sound.
Monica: Who cares? He works in a museum!
Monica: You did a minute ago!
Monica: Fine!
Monica: Thats not funny.
Monica: You do?
Monica: (brings a plate of tiny appetizers over) Here you go, maybe this'll cheer you up.
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo, and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence, I never thought I'd say.
Monica: Enough!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mrs. Green is telling Ross what needs to be done to baby proof his apartment.]
Monica: I know, but look at me all tan.
Joey: Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! Its eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish.
Monica: Now, are you glad we didnt start with the bikini strips?
MONICA: Good, they feel good, in my head.
Chandler, Monica, and Rachel: Great!! Thats great!
MONICA: Yeah, well you promised Barry, you'd marry him. (Rachel glares at her, and she retreats to safety between Richard's legs)
Monica: Really?! How much?!
Monica: Are you serious?
Ross: Eww! No!! Her ear! All right, Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
Monica: We just want you to think it through.
MONICA: No forget it, I'm not gonna tell you now.
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Monica: Why cant you use the phone in here?
Monica: And the sex?
Monica: No, you messed it up. Youre stupid.
Monica: How'd it go?
Monica: No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.
Monica: Then what is it?
Dr. Rosen: So, Monica, what do you do?
Monica: Yeah, you should.
Monica: Y'know what, Ive got to walk out of here right now, cause getting over you is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I dont think I could do it again.
Monica: Go on.
Monica: Have you ever taken out the trash? (Hands her the garbage.)
Rachel: (looks at Monica) (to him) Do you want my pickle?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler have gone through the phone book and found Greg and Jennys number which Monica has just dialed.]
Monica: Yknow what, lets do the catering business.
Monica: I cannot believe you broke up with her just like that.
Monica: (louder) A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. (She holds her hand over her head as an afterthought.) From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! (Joey looks at the money hes holding, and doesnt speak up.) Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?!
Monica: Hey!
Monica: What?!
Monica: (to Chandler) So, did you do it?
Monica: Uh-oh, it was bad?
[cut to Monica cleaning the floor in the kitchen]
Monica: I was probably waiting for it to open.
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Rachel: Let me see that. (Monica shows her) Oh, yeah.
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Monica: Well?
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Monica: Hey!
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Monica: What is it?!
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is getting coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Oh my God, are you out of a job?
Monica: Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?
Joey: Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. (Monica gasps) Yeah.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Erica enter, Chandler is in the kitchen.]