words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
Monica: Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Monica: (laughs) Well thats the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide!
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Monica: Im really not deciding!
Monica: Yeah thats right.
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Itssince youve never done it before you can be Monicas made of honor.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just gotten back from brunch and is telling Chandler about it.]
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
Monica: No, its more like a (sarcastically) good luck.
Monica: She was like 30, dark hair, attractive.
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Oh my God yes! Who is she?
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Monica: Why?
Monica: Fat?!
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Monica: Well, apparently she does.
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me.
Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monicas maid of honor!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is approaching the bathroom door behind which Chandler is using the facility.]
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Monica: Youre Lewis Posin.
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
Monica: No, I know. But yknow what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Ross: (playing the drunk uncle) When Monica was a little girl, I remember that(Phoebe screams and tackles him)Ooh!! Ow! Very good!
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Its a nickname, Ill explain later.
Monica: Its pretty clear.
Rachel: Well yknow what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica have returned from Julies.]
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Monica: All right, I I have to ask.
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: Well, you broke up with Julie Grath! How much weight could she have gained?
Monica: In one year?! My God what did she eat? Her-her family! Thats not the point.
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
Monica: How?
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Monica: Keep going.
Monica: Even if I shrink down to two inches tall?
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, umm when-when Monica and Chandler got engaged I started putting some stuff together, yknow just in case
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Monica: (entering) Hey, whats going on?
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Monica: Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first!
Monica: Who is it?
Monica: What about the closeness?
Monica: Hey Rach, arent these candlesticks (holds up a pair) mine?
Monica: The players.
Monica: (interrupting) Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke.
Monica: Ohh! Yeah, I forgot.
Monica: Let me try. (Gets up to join them.)
Monica: (joining him) Wow! She is pretty, huh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
Monica: And its a magnet!
Monica: What happened?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
Monica: What?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day, Gary is kissing Phoebe good-bye.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler and Joey are there as Rachel returns from her interview.]
Monica: Man, I would be great in a war! I mean, I really, I think I would make a fantastic military leader. I mean I know I would make General way before any of you guys.
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
Monica: Yes!
Monica: A kiss? What are you talking about?
Monica: Oh, I know! Umm, is it because he's always correcting people's grammar? Whom! Whom! Sometimes it's who!
Monica: You become friends after?
Monica: Wow! Uh what, did he uh, say?
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Monica: What's a 'niffle'?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]
Monica: Yes. Yes, I was. A guy. From work. (Thinks) I'm seeing a guy from work! Ha!
Monica: I dont believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house!
Monica: No, you're the best.
Monica: I am the best.
Monica: Why?
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
Monica: You didn't!
Monica: Hi Chandler.
Monica: I'm crying here!!
Monica: The park huh? A public place.
Monica: Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
Monica: I feel really sad that we're not really there anymore.
Monica: Did not.
Monica: Really?
Monica: Yeah. (They hug.)
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Monica: How do you think I am?! Youve wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face!
MONICA: Yes but my mom got me this job.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating breakfast, Ross is heading for the bathroom.]
Chandler: What a great apology! (To Monica) And you accept! Okay, bye-bye!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Monica: I would love to do it together!
[Monica answers the door. Its Fun Bobby.]
Monica: You al-you already had it?
Monica: Who? Two divorces and Joey?!
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still working on the seating chart as Joey enters.]
Monica: That doesn't seem fair.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: I need more swordfish. (to one of the assistant chefs) Can you get me some more swordfish?
Monica: All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys.
Chandler: Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?
Monica: Oh, we're not doing that. Okay
Monica: And ice!
Monica: (Thinks) Cups.
Fat Monica: Ross! (Wanting to be introduced.)
(Joey and Monica look at each other and shrug. Ross enters with Marcel on his shoulder)
Joey: Well, it involved Monica.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Monica: Were just two people who find each other very attractive. Right?
Monica: Hello Dan! I'm really looking forward to Saturday night! Really, really!
Monica: You must feel horrible. Hey! The guys have free porn!
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Phoebe: Yeah. (Looks.) Oh, thats gone too. This is Monicas bathroom right?!
Monica: (To Rachel) How did work go?
Monica: You stink!
Monica: Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is greeting her Father for their brunch.]
Ross: I just grabbed a spoon. (Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that means.)
Monica: He probably wants you back because you're right for the job.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is buying a muffin as Chandler runs in.]
Monica: All right, let me see. (She grabs the 8 ball.) Will Chandler have sex tonight? (Reads the answer.) Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me.
Monica: Theyre kissing lets just go around them.
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Monica: You sat back and let him have her, you didnt fight at all. Am I right? Do you want the same thing to happen with Emily?
Monica: That's the surprise!
Monica: (overlapping) Let her finish, doctor.
Monica: Y'know go! Go! Right there! (Points)
Rachel: That's fine. So Monica, you are now in control of my love life.
[Cut to the living room where Monica is helping pack a box.]
Phoebe: Yeah well, that's 'cause Monica put me in charge of cups and ice, and Monica is gonna rue the day that she put me in charge of cups and ice.
Monica: (jumping in front of him) No-no! Don't do it! Don't!