words in movies
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is cooking as a waitress enters carrying a plate of food that has been sent back.]
Monica: She sent the chicken back again?!
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Monica: Im fine.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Monica: Oh Uh
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers just after Monica has finished telling Chandler what happened.]
Monica: Well, she saw the ring.
Monica: Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people.
Monica: Well, she actually has a boyfriend yknow herself, named Clark. Uh, she also kinda invited herself to our wedding. Clark too.
Monica: Huh?
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Monica: Really?
Monica: So-so you wouldve just lied?
Monica: Would it really have been that easy?
Monica: Good, so do it Saturday night because were going to dinner with her and Clark.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
Monica: He might still show up.
Monica: Is that all?
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Monica: What are we gonna do?
Chandler: (To Monica) Did she see us yet? Did she see us?
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Monica: Yeah, in-in-in the bathroom.
Monica: Well just well just let her stay.
Monica: Kinda like your Barca lounger.
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.
Chandler: Honestly? Our apartment is a hotbed for electromagnetic activity. Now Monica and I have been immunized, but sadly you have not.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! You have to go!
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you!
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Janine are pretty much making out at one of the tables as Monica and Rachel look on from the couch.]
MONICA: Yeah, I think that fifth shower actually got the interview off me.
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
[Scene: A Video Store, Monica is running in to return a video.]
Monica: Were really sorry, but um, she did ask us first.
Monica: Right.
Monica: What?
(Monica waves at Julio.)
Monica: (to clerk) Hi.
Monica: What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something....
Monica: Wow! Your lip went bald. (Richard pays the clerk) Hey, thanks.
Monica: Its good to see you too.
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Me too.
Monica: No, I just I think that its too soon.
MONICA: Cause I already invited her.
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
Monica: Tomorrow night.
Monica: Were not gonna have sex! Okay, nothings changed here. He still doesnt want children and I still do, so thats why were just gonna be friends.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: Yeah well, I ran into Richard.
Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Monica: Oops.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Umm, youve got some on your pants.
Monica: No, but he told me, he thinks your a fox.
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, heres the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, Im gonna be moving out man.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
[Cut back to Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Monica: Oh.
Monica: So we can be friends who sleep together.
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, shes in bed with Richard.]
Monica: No! (pushes him) No!
Monica: Gotta keep squishing.
Chandler: With Roger? (Monica shyly looks away.) Not just with Roger?! (Monica shrugs.) Oh my God!
Monica: Well, uh yknow, our guy works with Chandler and hes really nice and smart and hes a great dresser!
Monica: Yeah. (they kiss) What d'you wanna do tonight?
[Cut to the casino, Monica is walking through it past the craps table when she notices a chip on the floor. She picks it up and heads to the table.]
(Monica starts biting on the eyedropper, spraying the fluid all over. But Rachel keeps turning her head back and forth and Monica keeps missing.)
Monica: Hi.
Monica: Yeah, right.
Monica: I love this friend thing!
Monica: What are you smiling at?
Monica: Yes! Absolutely. Okay? Look, youll know its mine because on the right cup, the lacey part, theres a very noticeable rip.
(Monica and Ross indicate that they mean right now.)
Monica: (No longer touched) you don't have insurance?
Monica: Don't you have to pee?
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! (She frantically tries to clean up the bedroom as Richard starts the tour.)
Monica: Ow!
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) So um, who was she?
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
(Someone knocks on the door; Monica gets it)
(Monica kisses him.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Turns out he is kinda funny.
MONICA: Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple.
Joey: (to Chandler and Monica) Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?
Monica, Ross, and Joey: (joining in) Home is Home Star stew.
Monica: Yeah. Im okay. Im actuallyIm a little cold, can I have your jacket?
Monica: Yeah, sure.
Monica: (Thinks a little more) Okay, Okay, (clapping her hands) All right. What if we got both houses? Huh? We can turn this house into a guest house.
Monica: (To Joey) Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party.
Monica: Oh, gosh, you got some on your shirt.
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
Monica: Wow, she must have hurt you pretty bad, huh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Monica: Yeah, Ginger something.
Monica: What are you doing with the lamp?
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
Monica: Well, what did you do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are babysitting Ben.]
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
Monica: Okay, well I do know you.
Monica: Well so?
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Monica: Well, dont cha wanna?
Monica: Yeah! I mean it was really funny, I-I just don't think you got it. You see Kara's coffee is-is-is weak tasting, okay? But-but what Doug was-was imply that it was weak physically. You get it now honey?
Monica: Well you did a little bit.
MONICA: And some of us really have to pee.
Monica: Rachel, the cute doctors are here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachels room.]
Monica: (entering) Hi!
Monica: Uh-huh.
Monica: You know, if you just wait another... six and a half minutes...
JOEY: [pulls out a VCR tape] Hey Monica, what's on this video tape?
Monica: What?
Monica: Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal.
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
Monica: Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.
Monica: Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things.
Monica: Ow!
MONICA: I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves [pulls Rachel's gloves out of her purse]
Rachel: Oh, oh, and hey-hey-hey, those little spelling tips will come in handy when youre at home on Saturday nights playing Scrabble with Monica!!
Chandler: Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. (He's holding the phone so that Monica can hear it as well.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Joey are watching TV.]
Monica: I-I already told him everything! (Threateningly) You shush!!
Monica: Wed love too.