words in movies
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is cooking as a waitress enters carrying a plate of food that has been sent back.]
Monica: She sent the chicken back again?!
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Monica: Im fine.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Monica: Oh Uh
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers just after Monica has finished telling Chandler what happened.]
Monica: Well, she saw the ring.
Monica: Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people.
Monica: Well, she actually has a boyfriend yknow herself, named Clark. Uh, she also kinda invited herself to our wedding. Clark too.
Monica: Huh?
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Monica: Really?
Monica: So-so you wouldve just lied?
Monica: Would it really have been that easy?
Monica: Good, so do it Saturday night because were going to dinner with her and Clark.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
Monica: He might still show up.
Monica: Is that all?
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Monica: What are we gonna do?
Chandler: (To Monica) Did she see us yet? Did she see us?
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Monica: Yeah, in-in-in the bathroom.
Monica: Well just well just let her stay.
Monica: Kinda like your Barca lounger.
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.
Chandler: Honestly? Our apartment is a hotbed for electromagnetic activity. Now Monica and I have been immunized, but sadly you have not.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! You have to go!
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you!
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)
Monica: Rachel?!
Monica: Would you ever be a surrogate for anyone?
Monica: Hey, we would still be living here if hadnt gotten the question wrong!
Monica: In that cute, little, sweet way she just did?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are arguing.]
Monica: Hes in a different room! Hes really that loud?
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Monica: Okay, count to three. 1. 2. 3!
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Okay! Okay, let's race! First one there wins! Ha-ha! (Runs out the door and everyone watches her leave.)
Monica: Rach, youre gonna come though arent you?
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Monica: Were hanging out.
Monica: I never knew that either.
Monica: Phoebe! You're sick, you shouldn't play. You should just go home, get in bed, and stay there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
Monica: Ill pick it up for you!
Monica: Wait a minute. What about that summer during college that you lived with grandma, and you tried to make it as a dancer?
Monica: Oh, dad, turn it off.
Monica: But it didnt. Say hello to Mrs. Chatracus.
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
Mrs. Geller: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
Monica: (to Ross) I can't believe you did that.
Monica: No. No, just, just, just a couple more boxes. It-it-its no big deal, all right, Im-Im cool. You gotta help me out with a couple more boxes!
Monica: Yeah Joey shes Rachels got this really big work problem, and it is a head scratcher. Wow! (To Chandler) Yknow what, if were gonna make dinner were gonna have to leave. Yeah. (She and Chandler exit.)
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
Rachel, Monica, Roy, and Chip: Bye.
Monica: (seeing the decision) Nooooo. Youre really not going?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.]
Monica: You know what, everything's gonna be okay.
Monica: Just the matter of ...payment?
Monica: How's it going with her?
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Monica: Oh stop it. Joey already told me.
Monica: What?
Monica: I thought that was a good thing.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Why do you need it?
Monica: Men are such idiots.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Rachel is singing some kind of song.]
Monica: Nooo!
Monica: Sooo?
Monica: That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving.
Monica: The baby shower for Phoebe!
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Monica: Whoa whoa whoa! Wherere you goin?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is returning from shopping and Rachel is there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is working on a new song.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang except Chandler is there.]
MONICA: You go girl. I can't pull that off can I?
Monica: Come on guys! Lets go! Come on, its second down.
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
Monica: Hi Phoebe.
Monica: Hormones.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
Monica: Two girls and a boy?
Monica: (lying down on a mattress) Oh! Ohhhhh! Oh! Phoebe, come here. Aw, this is my new bed. You gotta feel this bad boy.
Monica: Oh my God, sit down! Sit down! How long as it been since weve seen each other?
Monica: What?!
Rachel: What?! She made the tea! (Points to Monica.)
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Rachel, get the book! The book!
Monica: The Bible?!
Monica: Yeah, theres one right under the cabinet.
Monica: How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!!
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Rachel: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Monica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?
Monica: What, he doesnt like Josh?
Monica: What did you tell them?
Monica: How do you feel?
Monica: Some moms do that.
Monica: Yeah.
Monica and Rachel: What?!
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Oh, sweetie! (They all hug.)
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
Fat Monica: Oh, why? Why? What happened?
(Joey and Ross go into Monica and Rachel's apartment)
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Yep! You got the tickets?
Monica: Yeah, okay, give that a try!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, Monica is telling Phoebe where everything is.]
Monica: You're from Yonkers! Your last name is Buffo-Martisis!
Ross: (looking at the coffee table where his money was) Hey umm, was-was Monica here?
Fat Monica: Yeah, yeah, and you were going him y'know, your flower.
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. Theres....been a fire.
Monica: Its nice.
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Monica: Okay, just get a lot better. (pause) Fast.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are finishing up some cookies.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there.