words in movies
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is cooking as a waitress enters carrying a plate of food that has been sent back.]
Monica: She sent the chicken back again?!
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Monica: Im fine.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Monica: Oh Uh
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers just after Monica has finished telling Chandler what happened.]
Monica: Well, she saw the ring.
Monica: Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people.
Monica: Well, she actually has a boyfriend yknow herself, named Clark. Uh, she also kinda invited herself to our wedding. Clark too.
Monica: Huh?
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Monica: Really?
Monica: So-so you wouldve just lied?
Monica: Would it really have been that easy?
Monica: Good, so do it Saturday night because were going to dinner with her and Clark.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
Monica: He might still show up.
Monica: Is that all?
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Monica: What are we gonna do?
Chandler: (To Monica) Did she see us yet? Did she see us?
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Monica: Yeah, in-in-in the bathroom.
Monica: Well just well just let her stay.
Monica: Kinda like your Barca lounger.
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.
Chandler: Honestly? Our apartment is a hotbed for electromagnetic activity. Now Monica and I have been immunized, but sadly you have not.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! You have to go!
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you!
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)
Monica: (gives her a look) Gee, I dont know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!
Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmellows in concentric circles.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
MONICA: How many perfectly fine women are you gonna reject over the most superficial insignificant things?
Monica: Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents (Motions to the pile in the corner) without having to talk to people I dont even like!
Monica: Umm, excuse me, we switched apartments. You cant eat are food anymore, that-that gravy train had ended.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Monica: Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip.
Monica: Why is this car in my bedroom?
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
Monica: We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy man!
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
MONICA: Oh, God forbid.
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Monica: 'Cause you invited your assistant.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Monica: Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
Monica: That's my pie!
Ross: Man! (Monica mouths, "Im sorry.")
MONICA: (holding up a blanket) Where's Benny? (drops the blanket) There he is! (does it again) Where's Benny, there he is.
Monica: I'll be right there!
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica and Chandler enter.]
Monica: Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!
Monica: Nestle Tollhouse?!
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Monica: Ross, I'm gonna use yours, okay?
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Monica: (walks to Phoebe's door) Phoebe! Phoebe, open up!
[Time lapse, Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: Don't do what?
Monica: Did you just flick me?
Monica and Phoebe: Why?
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Monica: 1250.
Monica: What does she mean by 'involved'?
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Really? I'd say 3 to 4.
Monica: When it's your assistant, I would say never.
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
Monica: Ok worse case scenario is...we borrow some money from my parents.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Monica: Hey! Okay, so I thought wed start with my make up and then do my hair.
Monica: Yeah, I knew.
Monica: Okay Phoebe, we should probably go back now.
Monica: That's not gonna work.
Monica: Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! (the lights turn on automatically, but are very bright) Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! (they dim) Oh, see you just need to find the right command.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]
Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle.
Monica: What? Why, why would...
Monica: Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work and I hired a stripper to come dance for you. Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?!
Monica: Hi, honey.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Monica: Oh
Rachel: Monica, Im your best friend.
MONICA: I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos.
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
Monica: Stop it. Stop! Okay let's go. We can be strong.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel, Rachel is there, Chandler enters.]
[Time lapse, inside the store, Monica is frantically looking for her dress.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
Monica: How could I be asleep knowing that you were in the next room.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is cooking, Joey is eating, and Chandler is entering from the bedroom.]
Rachel: Oh, its the best! (They both exhale contemplating the joys of marriage.) So, umm hows Monica?
Monica: Oh yeah, whats the plan?
Monica: Where you can make out with your assistant.
Monica: Did you two
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?!
Monica: Joey!!
Monica: Your a poet and don't know it. (she turns away and makes a face like 'I can't believe I just said that.')
Joey: This is impossible Monica, why dont you just pick all 15? (Hands back the paper.)
Monica: That was that girl Megan! She booked the Swing Kings on the day of our wedding and said that I couldnt have them back unless I gave her the dress!
Monica: (turning a light on) Who is that?!
Monica: Hi. Do you know what time it is?
(Monica opens the door.)
Monica: Um-hmm.
Monica: Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebes old massage place is getting fired.
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Monica: Umm, can we see you ride it?
Monica: What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh Chandler wants the band. What do I do?
Monica: Hes not gonna say anything, because were not gonna tell him.
(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)
Monica: Im sorry, I cant help you. See? (Points to her new sign.) Rules are rules.
The Woman: (after Monica gives her the candy) Thank you.
Monica: But they like it!
Monica: Maybe.
Monica: Hmm?
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
Monica: Rachel, you are packed though right, I mean please tell me that youre packed.
Monica: Ooh...hey honey, are you all right?
Monica: If we wanna get on camera, I think we have to get up on one of those platforms. Theyve been taping those people up there all day.
Chandler: So uh Monica, do you, do you like the Law & Order?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is entering, Phoebe is already there.]
Monica: How?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are admiring Monicas wedding dress.]
Monica: (To Chandler) Thank you.
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Monica: Did you smoke?