words in movies
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is cooking as a waitress enters carrying a plate of food that has been sent back.]
Monica: She sent the chicken back again?!
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Monica: Im fine.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Monica: Oh Uh
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers just after Monica has finished telling Chandler what happened.]
Monica: Well, she saw the ring.
Monica: Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people.
Monica: Well, she actually has a boyfriend yknow herself, named Clark. Uh, she also kinda invited herself to our wedding. Clark too.
Monica: Huh?
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Monica: Really?
Monica: So-so you wouldve just lied?
Monica: Would it really have been that easy?
Monica: Good, so do it Saturday night because were going to dinner with her and Clark.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
Monica: He might still show up.
Monica: Is that all?
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Monica: What are we gonna do?
Chandler: (To Monica) Did she see us yet? Did she see us?
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Monica: Yeah, in-in-in the bathroom.
Monica: Well just well just let her stay.
Monica: Kinda like your Barca lounger.
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.
Chandler: Honestly? Our apartment is a hotbed for electromagnetic activity. Now Monica and I have been immunized, but sadly you have not.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! You have to go!
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you!
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)
Monica: I'm a cool, fun aunt!
Rachel: I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it?
Monica: No! no! Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying.
Monica: Yeah, I dont hear Chandlers and he doesnt hear mine.
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Monica: (looking disappointed) I guess so...
Monica: Tell them I'm a chef in a big New York restaurant!
Monica: Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit em. I cant wait. Theyre going to be crying so hard. Theyre going to be fighting for breath.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Chandler: Is Monica not here?
Chandler: (entering with Joey) (to Monica) Coffee house?
Monica: Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me.
Monica: Oh, right.
Phoebe: (looking at Monica entering) Hey!
Monica: Hey, you wanna go to see a movie?
Chandler: Wow, in 45 minutes you can find her twice. (Monica smiles at that.)
Monica: Damn it, I did not think this through!
Monica: No. I dont think that you and I were destined to end up together. I think that we fell in love and work hard at our relationship. Some days we work really hard.
Monica: Just go get some! (Kisses him.) Go! (She runs to hide in the bathroom.)
Monica: I don't want her to get a boob job! That's crazy!
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Monica: But I want to.
Monica: You know, I would give her up, for you.
Monica: Huh!
Monica: Wow, what's the bad news!
Monica: Rachel! Im never gonna think its okay for you to cheat on your husband!
Monica: Okay, fine but please dont be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey. (Joey smiles.)
Monica: (faking happiness) Oh, my!
Monica: Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him!
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Monica: (offended) I like that poster!
Monica: (Impatient with Rachel) Are you still here?
Monica: SHE'S YOURS!
Monica: No it's not, b'cause she's still in love with Mike!
Monica: Hey! I sold that to Joey.
Monica: She's mine!
(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him but is intercepted by Rachel.)
Monica: She's mine!
Monica: No you can't. She's yours!
Monica: She's mine!
Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)
Monica: Oh my God!
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch.]
Monica:: you don't think sharks are sexy do you?
Monica: (beaming) Yeah! Yeah! His name is Chandler and...
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica to correct her.)
Monica: (sarcastically) We?
Monica: Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Monica: Chandler?
Monica: It isn't mine!
Monica: Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free.
Monica:: Ok (sits down next to him) This is how much I love you. (She presses play then puts her arm around Chandler's neck.)
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-youll let it go.
Chandler: Great! (to Monica) This baby'd better to be really good.
Monica: Yeah. I mean it was kinda fun for a while, but didnt you start feeling silly?
Monica: Ok.
Monica: What does the red X next to Bob Greenmore's name mean?
(Chandler hangs up and calls Monica who is reading a book on their sofa as the phone rings.)
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: Okay, can we change the topic? Because its really doing nothing for me.
Monica: Yay!
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I guess with you doing the internship, we're just spending more than we're bringing in.
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) And make sure our room isn't next to theirs (points to Phoebe).
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the bad desert Ross is quickly eating the mound on his plate.]
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
Monica: Would you like something to drink?
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Really? What is it?
Monica: Okay! Okay! Okay! (She succeeds in getting the eye drops in and everyone climbs off of Rachel.) We'll see you in about 3 to 4 hours.
Monica: Well, if you're gonna be totally rational about this, I can't argue with you! All right? Fine, if you wanna tell him, tell him. I just don't want to be a part of it.
Monica: Noo!! Its driving me crazy. I mean every other way hes like the perfect guy, he has everything. Plus! He actually has everything.
MONICA: Really? Weird. Anyway, see, I planned everything really well. I planned and I planned and I planned. It just turns out, I don't think I planned enough time to actually do it.
Monica: Maybe we could call the phone company. Maybe they could change the message. Maybe they can change his number.
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Monica: (angrily) That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! (Rachel looks over at Phoebe in resignation.) Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard.
(Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.)
Monica: So, we're just four losers... SUPER!
Monica: Hey guys!
Monica: So, do you guys wanna come and eat dinner at the restaurant sometime in the next few weeks?
Monica: (To Chandler) How does that laugh not give you a headache?
Monica: We need to talk to you about something.
Monica: (recognizing him and panicking) No you dont!
Monica: No, it's not!
Monica: Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her. And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you?
Monica: Thank you, Pheebs!
Monica: What? You are way off, lady!
Monica: Sounds like shes got the ah, whole package.
Monica: That's my favourite kind! Okay, we are doing this!