words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
Chandler: I suppose that Monica will have the � manipulative shrew.
Monica: Hi. It is so, so nice to meet you.
Monica: I don't know about that.
Monica: (Gets up) Okay, okay. You two (to Phoebe and Rachel) go get the dessert. And I'll let you in.
Phoebe: (while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Monica: (naughty in doorway) Welcome home. I�ve missed you. join me in the bedroom?
Monica: Thank you. (To Chandler.) I think I just had a tiny orgasm.
Monica: Uh, good hands. (she holds Chandler hands) Healing hands.
Monica: We don’t?
Monica: (thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Monica: God works in mysterious ways.
Monica: But she liked us.
Chandler: She likes Doctor Chandler and Reverend Monica.
Monica: (Almost crying) Please.. please, we are so close.
Monica: It's too late for apologies.
Monica: (sniffing) Maybe she will. Uh! Why couldn't I have been a Reverend?
Monica: (She gives Joey a you-are-so-stupid-look) Ok, ten.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning. Chandler is sitting and staring at his phone. Monica enters and creeps up next to Chandler.]
Phoebe: Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyoneanyway.
Janice: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler and Monica enter.]
MONICA: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
Monica: I can't believe it! (pause) I lost!
Monica: (pointing to a picture on the table) I-Is... Is that a picture?
Monica: Look, doctor!
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. (holds up the sonogram)
Chandler: Well, our names really are Monica and Chandler. We're from New York.
(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)
Monica: But we were hoping that since we told you the truth that you still might consider...
Joey: No-no! No! I mean it's gonna be all smelling like Monica!
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Monica: God bless you Chandler Bing!
Monica: I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time!
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica sits on the couch and Phoebe is pacing up and down the room.]
[Scene: A Street, Chandler and Monica are walking down the sidewalk after his office holiday party.]
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Chandler enters the door.]
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Monica: Nancy doesn’t smoke!
Monica: So? What do you think of the house?
Monica: So? Do you think we should get it?
Monica: Hey! You smell like perfume and cigarettes.
Monica: Don’t you love the huge yard?
Monica: Wait a minute, you stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac-Man while I went off to work like some kind of chump?!
Monica: I think we should.
Monica: Okay. Right. Oh my God that is gonna be so hard.
Monica: This is huge!
Monica: How bad you wanna smoke, right now.
Monica: No, he’s picking up dinner, why, what’s up?
Monica: What?
Monica (puzzled): All right...
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God that’s awful! What did you think of the house?
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Monica: (turns to them) Ok, alright, you guys, you'd better sit down, this is pretty big.
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Monica: And about an hour ago, we made an offer.
Joey: All right. Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time, and sure there are rules, but then you went to London. Oh, no, but thats different. I mean, there are rules there, too! You know what I mean?
Monica: I know! Hey, you havent been practising the routine, have you?
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
Rachel: Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
Monica: Every year.
Monica: Technicality!
Monica: Deal!
Monica: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Monica: Maurice.
Monica: That’s not even a word!
Phoebe: And how none of it matters when the people really love each other. (Chandler and Monica kiss.) And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as its a compliment.
Monica: (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Monica and Rachel: What?!
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: She really left.
Monica: And?
Monica: Well, there you go.
(Chandler and Monica hug)
Monica: We can't afford that.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Yeah, we'll be okay.
Ross: Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)
Phoebe: (to Monica) You're gonna be okay?
Monica: We sure are.
Monica: And a baby...
Monica: Hey, see that snippy guy over there? Hes the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.
Monica: Oh my God! My God! We've got the house !?
Monica: Rachel, this is yours.
Monica: I know.
Monica: All right, everybody open them!
Monica: Enjoy!
Monica: Hey, let me tell them!