words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
Monica: Well?
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Monica: Hey!
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Monica: What is it?!
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is getting coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Oh my God, are you out of a job?
Monica: Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?
Joey: Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. (Monica gasps) Yeah.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Erica enter, Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Monica: Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I don't think so.
MONICA: [carrying an ice cube tray] Ice, ice, ice squares anyone? Take a napkin. Alright.
MONICA: I don't know, I lost it all ok. I lost it.
Rachel: (to Monica) Did you know he was in there?
Monica: (popping back up) Regular or decaf?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.
Monica: Oh that's okay. Dont worry about it, you can give it to me when we get back.
Monica: Oh, well... um, that's all there are of these. But in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica enters.]
Monica: Please, have some!
Monica: Yeah, its just something I picked up.
Monica: Wait! Wait! This isnt take-out!
Monica: People are supposed to wanna hang out here!
Monica: I am so jealous.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are there. Monica is checking the messages.]
Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think its okay to be that guy.
Monica: Are you sure?
Monica: Nah, I got it.
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
[Scene: Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica comforting Joey at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm, talk about it, but no.
(Monica stares longingly at the door, after Richard leaves)
Monica: He loves you.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Rachel: Wow! Monica!
Monica: Just come.
[Scene: game room, Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Joey is talking about the wonder that is the thong.]
MONICA: Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me.
Monica: (not wanting to be left out, picks up something) Hey umm, whats this?
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Monica: OK, great. You'll tell us and we'll laugh. Let's play poker.
Monica: Whats Phase Two?
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
(Pete and Monica kiss, and Monica mouths I love you. to him.)
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is in his sweats flinging playing cards into a pot.]
Monica: Rachel always cries!
Monica: Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and its sooo close.
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Monica: You stink!
Rachel: Hey, Monica!
Monica: Hey, Joey, could you pass the cheese?
Monica: Sweety, what are you talking about?
Monica: Uh-oh, whats the matter?
Pete: Monica, I want to become (pause) the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Monica: I cant! I have to work!
Monica: I think shes here.
Woman: Hello! (Monica screams)
MONICA: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Monica: All right, then show me some manly moves.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Chandler and Monica enters.]
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
Monica: So you hit her in the face?
Monica: What?
Monica: All right, come on, I'm-I'm late for work!
Monica: Hey! Youre wearing pants!
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Monica: Oh-oh, my God!
Monica: Its 9:30 in the morning!
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Monica: Why do you care so much anyway?
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
Monica: A couple of days.
[Scene: Hallway between the apartments. Chandler comes out wearing spandex, jogging in place. Monica is there.]
Monica: Yeah, come on, we can be guys!
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Rachel: Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! (Monica opens the door.) Emily?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the ring he bought and not liking it.]
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
Monica: So, we did okay at the strip club, right?
Monica: Come on! Chandler!
Monica: Really?!
Monica: Thats-thats not Phase Three.
Joey: Hey, Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King?