words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
Rachel: Is Monica around? I-I have to ask her something.
Monica: I know! Ill tell you something, we are gonna do that again!
Monica: Hey Rach, come on! We're gonna be late for the eye doctor appointment!
(Monica enters.)
Fake Monica: That I was not expecting.
Monica: I am not wrong.
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
Monica: Just uh, do the right thing. (Uses some breath spray)
Monica: No, I just talked to them.
Monica: Okay. (Starting to go through them) Oh! A coloring book! (Holding it up.)
Monica: Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
Monica: So you're free Thursday, then.
Monica: Hey Ross, maybe if your skin was lighter. Your teeth wouldnt look so bright.
Rachel: (as Monica) Aahh, I'm a... chef at a restaurant uptown.
Fake Monica: Oh. Thanks.
Joey: (to Monica) We did?
(We hear a noise coming from Monica and Rachels apartment.)
Monica: Rach, here's your mail.
Monica: (to Joey) You owe me 20 bucks.
Monica: Very good! (Gives him the keys) What do you need it for anyway?
(Gary exits and Monica rejoins them.)
Joey: No you dont, I just saw you go in there with Monica!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
Monica: Hello? Hello? Oh! Rachel, it's Paolo calling from Rome.
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching the Prom Video and Rachel is about to make her entrance on the video. The italics are portions of the prom video.]
Monica: That's not a question.
Monica: Why would we do that?
Monica: Ah!
Monica: What, Phoebe, did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps!
Monica: You bet that Id screw up?! So all that stuff about hiring me because I was good was
Monica: No. Not after what happened with Steve.
Monica: Got the keys? or Got the keys!
Monica: (panicked) The oven is on.
Monica: No I don't.
Monica: (angry) Joey!
Monica: Well then get it, get it!
Monica: Ok, three kinds of potatoes coming up.
MONICA: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
Monica: But I didn't.
Monica: Why?
Monica: I swear you said you had the keys.
Monica: Why?
Monica: (notices his head) Oh, I'm sorry.
Monica: Stop it, stop it, stop it!
Monica: Well, not... worried, just... wondering.
Monica: (in her Monica-excited-way... TOO LOUD!) Oh my God, I love how thin these walls are!
Monica: I wanna wake up early and go get it for you!
Monica: Ooh, Ugly Naked Dancing!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Monica: W-wait. What is that?
Monica: No, no, I don't.
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Monica: So, how'd it go?
Monica: So what are you gonna be?
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Chandler: Thank you for that! (To Monica) I was not flirting.
(We see through the big window from the outside and see that Monica and Rachel have pictures of their faces pasted onto cardboard cutouts of Pamela Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth wearing their Baywatch swimsuits.)
Monica: Yeah. Rach, are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail?
Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.
Monica: I think it's romantic.
Monica: What?!
(Monica and Rachel look at Phoebe strangely.)
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Okay. So you, me and London. Looking at people differently. Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London with someone.
Fake Monica: Really? Then why are you like that?
Monica: What's the matter?
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Monica: Well umm, they both have a egg yolk and butter base, but a bearnaise has shallots, shirvel, and most importantly tarragon.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the party has started.]
Monica: Hi.
Monica: Ugh, we're screwed, aren't we? You know what? Just tell me on the way to the bird store.
Monica: In. (She joins in the dancing. She still flounders)
Monica: Have you guys picked a date yet?
Monica: Phoebe, I thought you said you know what youre doing?
Rachel: Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!
Monica: Umm, do you have any uhh, moves?
Monica: Hey everybody! It's Fun Bobby!
Monica: I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
MONICA: Alright, you wanna feel better?
Monica: Im in love too! But in an orderly fashion.
Monica: So I'm kissing everyone?
Monica: Why?
Monica: Alright (shrugs). I think it's a big mistake but it's your decision.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse.]
Monica: Oh, no! I mean, obviously we want to see you take your clothes off! You big piece of eye candy!
Monica: No!
Monica: No!
Monica: He's coming. Be cool, be cool, be cool.
Monica: We are not going to whistle.
Monica: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Monica: Again. Yknow what? I think we all did.
Rachel: Oh! I have your key. Here you go. (Hands it to Monica.)
Monica:: Honey why don't you just let it go and ask her out again.
Fake Monica: Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'.
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: (singing) I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found ever since...