words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
Joey: All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns around) I mean Ill have to check with him first, but Ill think hell be cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)
Monica: (hearing that) Thats it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!
Ross: (entering with Monica in tow) Hey!
Monica: (closing the fridge in disgust) Shoot! Were out of soda.
MONICA: You look fabulous honey, you really do.
Monica: Welcome to our side of the tunnel.
JOEY: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel?
Monica: That is never good.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are comforting Chandler]
Monica: Couldn't you just stay like this forever? (His eyes snap open.) Chandler! Couldn't you just stay here forever?
Rachel and Monica: Nooo!
Monica: She has to know that your not ready.
Doug: Come on honey, let's go drink our body weight. (They walk off leaving Chandler and Monica alone.)
Monica: Honey, we have been through this before!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross is acting nervous]
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter?
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Monica: God, look what I found in the drain.
Monica: See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.
Ross: There was no song. (to Monica) There was no song!
Monica: '....Won't you, won't you, won't you.... '
Monica: Well, you used to dress up in Mom's clothes all the time.
Monica: Wasn't there a little song?
Monica: (singing) 'I am Bea.'
MONICA: Hey, I've come to terms with it, you have to too.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.
Monica: So, Chandler, whos on your list?
Joey: Hey, Monica, who would yours be?
Monica: First, I need a boyfriend, then I can have a list.
Phoebe: This is Monica.
(Everyone starts to dance in unison. Monica flounders)
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Monica: Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?
Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?
Monica: Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.
Monica: If you want, I'll do it.
Monica: So hows it going with you guys?
Monica: Richard's living room, drinking wine.
Monica: Really, is he a swimmer?
Chandler: You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign)
Monica: I just asked you.
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
MONICA: OK, what're we gonna do about this?
Monica: Whats the matter?
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Monica: I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad?
Monica: Well, it was good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Monica: All right, it'll be great! You just make her think you wanna have sex with her! It'll totally freak her out!
Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.
Monica: Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument.
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Monica: ...horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now.
MONICA: Happy birthday dad.
Monica: And who laminated it?
Monica: This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids?
Monica and Rachel: What?!!
Monica: Honey, we've been trying to have a baby for over a year. I think it's a good idea to find out if everything's ok. Just a few routine tests.
Joey: Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together.
Monica: What?
Monica: Hi.
[Scene: the hallway, Monica is coming up the stairs.]
Monica: Hey, did you pick a roommate?
Monica: Hes so cute.
Monica: Got me.
[Scene: Monicas bedroom.]
MONICA: No, I just, I fell down.
Monica: I know.
Monica: Thanks.
Chandler: (picks it up) And now Ive picked it up again. (walks over to Monica.)
Monica: Aww, not right now.
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
Monica: Oh, thatd be great.
Monica: Hi, again.
Monica: You want some help with that?
Monica: Whoa! Are you okay?
Monica: (turning around) Okay, heres your penis!
Monica: Do you wanna come in for some lemonade?
Monica: Thank you. Just make yourself comfortable.
Monica: So?!
Monica: Pheebs?
Monica: Oh my God!!! What are you doing?!!
Monica: Yeah huh!! Cover yourself up!
Monica: What?
Monica: Wheres your bed?
Monica: What are you talking about?
Monica: Everybody knows!
Monica: What?!?!
Monica: You can spill. In the sink.
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
[Scene: Monicas, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
Monica: Hey, Rach, did you make your money?
Monica: I love you, too.
Monica: Phoebe moved out.
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Well, I think so.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone exept Monica is there.]
Monica: I got offered the head chef job at Allesandros.
MONICA: Duh-huh!
Phoebe: (Under her breath) God, I woke the beast. Sorry. (To Monica) I was wrong obviously, I justI misspoke. It's okay.