words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
Monica: The game's over! Take off your robe!
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
Monica: (Shocked) Oh my God! Chandler!
Monica: (Yells after him) I love you!
Monica: Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married!
Phoebe: Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? (Looks around)
Monica: (yelling after him) We will!!
Monica: (to Rachel) Look at you with all the guys!
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
Monica: Wow, do you mean like kiss him-kiss him?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch writing when Chandler enters to make his brief cameo.]
Joey: Monica!
Monica: Don't worry Joe, I won't come next year!
Monica: Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.
Chandler: (to Monica) So, how did you enjoy the play?
Monica: Oh my god, honey, I'm so so so so so sorry.
Monica: Oh really!
Monica: No!
Monica: Now come on. (They hug like men.) Well, Im glad we worked things out.
Monica: So I got it when I was 13...
Monica: You really liked it?
Monica: Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore?
Rachel: (to Monica) Hey!
(Rachel approaches Monica)
Monica: Hey!
Monica: That's different! I was drunk and stupid!
Monica: Oh, you're so wonderful.
Monica: And I can't stop you.
Monica: Yes Rachel, why do you care so much?
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Hey, what's this?
Monica: Oh, you can't show Phoebe this! She hates those corporate massage chains.
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
Monica: (entering) Hey honey! I missed you today!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
Monica: (really embarrassed) OH!
Monica: What is the big deal?
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why dont we go change in my room?
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Monica: (a bit surprised) Yes, he is. Me.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Monica: Its all everybody at the party could talk about!
Monica: Like asking her to move in with you?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
[Cut to inside the apartment, Ross decides to let Monica in and goes over and opens the door in mid-pound.]
Monica: You wanna meet some people? This is uh; this is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will.
Monica: So, what's your name?
Monica: Yes there is! He's black and white and shaggy and [Cut to Monicas apartment] he's sitting next to Rachel and licking Rachel's hand.
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Throws some in her bag and she walks away as Phoebe, dressed as Supergirl walks up and eyes Monica who eyes her back.)
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
Monica: Thats it. Im done. I dont care when the baby comes, no more betting.
Monica: Y'know what, this is obviously some kind of twisted joke she's trying to play on him.
Rachel: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
Monica: Hey sweetie.
(Monica walks in)
Monica: What?
Monica: Chandler?
Monica: (weeping) Oh my God!
Monica: Oh... what does that mean?
Monica: All right then, then nothing changes! Everything is great! Everything stays the same! And you go unpack because its been three days and its driving me insane!
Monica: I'm sorry too.
Monica: (still weeping) I know.
Monica: Money! (they all look at her) Friends...
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Monica: Hi.
Monica: Yeah, I'm sure your ex-wife will be more than happy to move to another country so you can patch things up with your new wife.
Monica: Ok.
Monica: (long pause) Ok.
Monica: When you were little you slept through the Grand(Pointing again)Oh fffff .
Monica: Yes... What is the end of that sentence?
Monica: There are no tickets on the nightstand!
Rachel: Uh, yeah. Uh, Monica, y'know, honey, I've been thinking about it and I've decided thisthis whole Ross thing, it's just not a good idea.
Phoebe: Yes, and Im sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but thats very rare.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, time lapse, Chandler is fully dressed and slowly walking out of the bedroom with a distressed look on his face.]
Monica: I got it.
Monica: Yeah, I guess.
Monica: Hi honey!
Monica: Oh, of course, it's so nice to see you again, Zack!
Monica: (turns around and she's quite shocked) Excuse me?
Monica: Chandler!
Monica: Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"!
Monica: Uh!
Monica: Tell me about yourself, Zack!
Monica: Im fine-d. Im fine-d! Yknow, its a really hard word to say.
(Monica hears that and is suddenly very interested in Zack)
Monica: Hey, it was very moving! You're just heartless!
Monica: Hey guys! Dinner's ready!
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey Chandler look, I know youre mad, but I just want to say Im sorry. I-I was a total jerk. Completely o-over the line. Uh, I just I hate pulp! Yknow? I mean, yknow how Monica feels about low fat mayonnaise?
Janine: (entering from her room) Monica! Chandler! Im really-really sorry about tonight. I dont know if Joey told you; I just couldnt get out of going to this play. Im sorry. Have a great time.
Monica & Chandler: Sure! Alright...
Monica: Hi, glad you could come.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's]
Monica: (pause) No.
Monica: Does seem pretty perfect.
Monica: I'm sorry it's just, Phoebe just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way.
Monica: Hey, Joey, I dont think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean its only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week?