words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
Monica: (returning) Okay! (Sets down a huge 3" 3-ring binder on the table.)
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Monica: I know. (pause) I need more pie. (goes and gets some)
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
Monica: Yes.
MONICA: What's to know? Buy sell, high low, bears bulls...[on the phone] Yes Manhattan...yeah telephone number of the stock...selling store.
Monica: Chicken? I could eat some chicken.
Monica: You bet! No TV or anything! (she gets up from the sofa and goes to the kitchen area)
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!
Monica: Bye!
Monica: I have to be up in seven minutes.
Monica: Actually, I did!
Monica: Sweetie, I think the glasses look great. They make you look really sexy.
Monica: Joey!
Monica: Them?! Who's them?
Monica: Ohhh, oh my God! Oh my God! She knows about us!
Monica: She's bluffing!
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Monica: Of course.
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Monica: I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)
Chandler: Because I'm in love with Monica!!
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Monica: (starts for the door) Well theres some people who do want to marry me.
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Monica: Well actually, Ross doesn't.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Monica: Hey, you guys!
Monica: Let's see, 1939... yeah, 24, 25?
Monica: Oh thats so sweet.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
Monica: Chandler!!
Phoebe: I feel like my face is swelling. (To Monica) Is my face swelling?
Monica: Hey!
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
MONICA: Really Phoebs? Because, you know, you'd have to be an actual waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy like mad as Ross enters.]
Monica: Hey, maybe I'll drive you up there! I'd like to buy some tickets myself!
MONICA: Rache, I think we have enough regular lamps.
Monica: What about the second minister we meet with? I kinda liked him.
Monica: No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! (she shakes the wrist and it's more painful) Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! (pause) Oh my God! I can't play!
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
Monica: Are you funny? Tell us a joke!
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
Rachel: (as Monica) Thanks! I've been here about six years, and Rachel moved in a few months ago.
Monica: Its your suitcase. Were going to Las Vegas.
Monica: Here! (She sets a bag down in front of him.)
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Monica: Yes!
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
Monica: How much did ever really win before?
MONICA: [to Ross] Looks like he's playin' baseball.
Monica: (entering from the bathroom) Hey! Happy Anniversary!
Monica: Why not?!
Monica: What?!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Monica: What?
Monica: That cant be your father.
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it.
Monica: New York.
Helena: Monica! Where are you from?
Monica: (To Chandler) You okay?
Helena: We? (Looks at Monica who nods.)
Chandler: Actually Monica and I are engaged.
Monica: Old?
Monica: Thats much better.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: (gets up and gasps) Oh my God! Rachel!! (Rachel is stunned to see that her long lost friend is still fat.) (Monica goes over and gives Rachel a big bear hug, which is quite easy for her.) You look terrific!
Monica: Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open.
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Monica: That other play?
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
Monica: I had to go with the odds Rach.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Monica: Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Where's Monica?
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
Monica: Honey, we gotta go!
Monica: Really?
Monica: I just, I cant believe that we made it!
Monica: Im sorry but nothing.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Monica: What is that?
(Monica and her parents walk up.)
Helena: (To Monica) And who is your friend?
Monica: Hi Mr. Bing.
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
[Cut to Monica.]
Monica: I cant find garbage bags!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]
Monica: Who wants it? Anybody?
Monica: All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit em all, and you mix em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.
Monica: Nobody wants to do it? All right, Ill do it myself.