words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
Monica: Ohh, fun!
Monica: So-so there is no party.
Monica: And you're not gonna do that.
Monica: I know. Thanks. (Chandler leaves)
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
Monica: (quietly) Hi!
Monica: We're-we're really sorry we fogged you.
Monica: Oh, can I borrow this? (points to his milk) My milks gone bad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is opening the door.]
Monica: You are?
Monica: Okay.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Monica: Oh, thanks! We'll try to stop by.
Monica: Yeah! You already got the first class tickets; you got the lounge! I mean we should get free stuff too! I mean youre not the only ones on your honeymoon!
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-thats why youre here! Ive got to fire you!
(Rachel wanders into the kitchen where Monica is making Chandler's dinner.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Okay, great!
(There's a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Monica: The fake kind!
Monica: Well it didn't!
Monica: Chandler! (Motions for him to come outside.)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Chandler: Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to. Monica: (realizes Chandler is right. She's almost crying) okay, right. (They hug)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are making out on one of the chairs.]
Monica: Don't get too attached, she's having it cremated.
MONICA: I don't have her number, butt-munch.
Monica: How?
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Monica: Just go over and say hi.
(Monica obeys.)
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
Monica: (upon seeing Rachel she points) Oh.
Monica: Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose!
Monica: Hey, Danny!
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: What do you mean?
Monica: I thought there wasn't a ball?
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Monica: What?! What is it?
Monica: God, I feel so guilty about Ross.
Monica: I'm sorry! It wasn't your whole toe!
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Monica: Chandler! (Follows him out.)
Monica: What?
Chandler: Look, Monica
Monica: You love me!
Monica: Yes, you did!
Monica: Honey, I dont think thats something we need to worry about! First of all hes-hes never gonna tell her how he feels about her. And even if he did you have no idea how shed react.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
Joey: (sees Monica) Fire trucks! (Chandlers eyes double in size and he turns to Monica who doesn't understand what's happening. Then he turns back to Joey, who says "you're welcome" without a sound)
Monica: I like them a lot.
Monica: The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13?
Phoebe: Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no!
MONICA: I wanna buy 5 shares of SGJ and I wanna buy them now. C'mon time is money my friend. Thank you. Wooo.
Monica: As a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.
Monica: Thats very funny!
Monica: That really means a lot. Oh, and Mom, dont bite your nails.
Monica: Umm, listen I am sorry, but Ill put some out first thing in the morning.
Monica: Ohh, Please?! Im a single mom, with a thirty year old son!!
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Monica: You're not gonna be phased out!
Monica: You can't fire me. I make your decisions and I say, "I'm not fired!" Ha!
MONICA: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Monica: Ross, you were right before, it was just a stupid fight about a room.
[Scene: Monicas, Chandler and Monica are still hugging each other.]
Monica: Bye Dan!
Monica: Chris says theyre closing down the bar.
Ross: (whispering in her ear) Oh, thats right! He called to ask out Monica! That-thats gotta be embarrassing!
Monica: This is so great! And Im gonna be your babys aunt!
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Monica: Feeling a little better sweetie?
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that its too soon. Its gonna break his heart, hes not gonna think that I dont love him anymore.
Monica: Yeah, no, me neither.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: (entering) Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question?
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bastedOh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Monica: (to Ross) Ooh, are you gonna do magic?
Monica: Well, I want he baby to come out all cute and fat!
Rachel: Monica!!!
Joey: (entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?
Monica: Fridays perfect...She cant wait.
Monica: (Walking in from off screen.) Phoebe!
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: I don't care.
Monica: I just wanted to see how it's going.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are talking about passion.]
Monica: (Taking out her wallet.) Well good, here let me help you out.
Monica: (embraces Emma tightly) Ooh, I want one...
Monica: Aw, it's soo unfair. (they both start digging into the 'good' ice cream)
Monica: Hey, what's up?
Monica: You had no relationship!!
Monica: Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
MONICA: Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this.
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!