words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
Monica: Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first!
Monica: Who is it?
Monica: What about the closeness?
Monica: Hey Rach, arent these candlesticks (holds up a pair) mine?
Monica: The players.
Monica: (interrupting) Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke.
Monica: Ohh! Yeah, I forgot.
Monica: Let me try. (Gets up to join them.)
Monica: (joining him) Wow! She is pretty, huh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
Monica: And its a magnet!
Monica: What happened?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
Monica: What?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day, Gary is kissing Phoebe good-bye.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler and Joey are there as Rachel returns from her interview.]
Monica: Man, I would be great in a war! I mean, I really, I think I would make a fantastic military leader. I mean I know I would make General way before any of you guys.
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
Monica: Yes!
Monica: A kiss? What are you talking about?
Monica: Oh, I know! Umm, is it because he's always correcting people's grammar? Whom! Whom! Sometimes it's who!
Monica: You become friends after?
Monica: Wow! Uh what, did he uh, say?
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Monica: What's a 'niffle'?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]
Monica: Yes. Yes, I was. A guy. From work. (Thinks) I'm seeing a guy from work! Ha!
Monica: I dont believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house!
Monica: No, you're the best.
Monica: I am the best.
Monica: Why?
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, Mr. Geller and Ross are finishing up recreating Monicas memories as Monica enters.]
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
Monica: You didn't!
Monica: Hi Chandler.
Monica: I'm crying here!!
Monica: The park huh? A public place.
Monica: Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
Monica: I feel really sad that we're not really there anymore.
Monica: Did not.
Monica: Really?
Monica: Yeah. (They hug.)
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Monica: How do you think I am?! Youve wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face!
MONICA: Yes but my mom got me this job.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating breakfast, Ross is heading for the bathroom.]
Chandler: What a great apology! (To Monica) And you accept! Okay, bye-bye!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Monica: I would love to do it together!
[Monica answers the door. Its Fun Bobby.]
Monica: You al-you already had it?
Monica: Who? Two divorces and Joey?!
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still working on the seating chart as Joey enters.]
Monica: That doesn't seem fair.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: I need more swordfish. (to one of the assistant chefs) Can you get me some more swordfish?
Monica: All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys.
Chandler: Where's Monica?! Where is she? I need to talk to her! It's urgent! Is she here?
Monica: Oh, we're not doing that. Okay
Monica: And ice!
Monica: (Thinks) Cups.
Fat Monica: Ross! (Wanting to be introduced.)
(Joey and Monica look at each other and shrug. Ross enters with Marcel on his shoulder)
Joey: Well, it involved Monica.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Monica: Were just two people who find each other very attractive. Right?
Monica: Hello Dan! I'm really looking forward to Saturday night! Really, really!
Monica: You must feel horrible. Hey! The guys have free porn!
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Phoebe: Yeah. (Looks.) Oh, thats gone too. This is Monicas bathroom right?!
Monica: (To Rachel) How did work go?
Monica: You stink!
Monica: Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is greeting her Father for their brunch.]
Ross: I just grabbed a spoon. (Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that means.)
Monica: He probably wants you back because you're right for the job.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is buying a muffin as Chandler runs in.]
Monica: All right, let me see. (She grabs the 8 ball.) Will Chandler have sex tonight? (Reads the answer.) Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me.
Monica: Theyre kissing lets just go around them.
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Monica: You sat back and let him have her, you didnt fight at all. Am I right? Do you want the same thing to happen with Emily?
Monica: That's the surprise!
Monica: (overlapping) Let her finish, doctor.
Monica: Y'know go! Go! Right there! (Points)
Rachel: That's fine. So Monica, you are now in control of my love life.
[Cut to the living room where Monica is helping pack a box.]
Phoebe: Yeah well, that's 'cause Monica put me in charge of cups and ice, and Monica is gonna rue the day that she put me in charge of cups and ice.
Monica: (jumping in front of him) No-no! Don't do it! Don't!
MONICA: Ok, we're not having birthday cake, we're having birthday flan.