words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
Gunther: (to Monica and Phoebe) Hey guys.
Monica: Oh my!!
Chandler: (to Monica) Take off your shirt!
Monica: (to Chandler) Stick out your tongue.
(Cut to Ross and Monica)
Monica: Hi.
Monica: Isnt that great?
Monica: Hang on a second I just got in.
Ross: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.
Monica: What is the worse part?
Monica: Thats okay.
MONICA: Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?
Monica: That was me.
Monica: Y'know which one was she again?
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Monica is watching the Civil War videos]
Monica: Oh my God!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
(Monica is sarcastically amazed.)
Monica: Yay!
Monica: Oh, that is amazing!
Monica: What?
Monica: Are you crazy?!
Monica: Then get over yourself! Grow up!
Monica: Yeah, Ive had them picked out since I was fourteen.
Monica: Is it something youd be interested in?
Chandler: Because uh we-we we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me.
Monica: Yeah, I do know.
MONICA: OK, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what? Ross, let's - let's switch places. You get in the middle. No un-, ya know, unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up.
Monica: So ah, Phoebe, how was your date?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
Monica: Just out. Had some lunch, just me, little quality time with me. Thanks for your jacket.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is outside the bathroom yelling at Ross who's in the bathroom.]
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Monica: Please, I'm not going for anything.
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Monica: Would you please go?
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
Monica: Oh yeah, what are you reading?
Monica: Thanks. (Goes to fetch him.)
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
Monica: (entering) Hi!
MONICA: Here, let me try.
Phoebe: Oh my God, oh my God! Poor Monica!
(Monica leaves)
Monica: Oh good, I think so too. Pheebs?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey is eating breakfast, Rachel has just gotten up, and Monica is on the phone.]
Monica: No Mom, I don't have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant.
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Monica: How? I dont have any money.
Monica: Hey.
Monica: What do you mean?
Monica: Yeah, just like the one in the poem.
Monica: (sarcastically) Oh yeah.
Monica: You don't even know me...
Monica: Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us.
Monica: What?
Monica: I'm sorry, my friend Phoebe...
Monica: What kind of karate is that?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Janine are pretty much making out at one of the tables as Monica and Rachel look on from the couch.]
MONICA: Yeah, I think that fifth shower actually got the interview off me.
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
[Scene: A Video Store, Monica is running in to return a video.]
Monica: Were really sorry, but um, she did ask us first.
Monica: Right.
Monica: What?
(Monica waves at Julio.)
Monica: (to clerk) Hi.
Monica: What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something....
Monica: Wow! Your lip went bald. (Richard pays the clerk) Hey, thanks.
Monica: Its good to see you too.
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Me too.
Monica: No, I just I think that its too soon.
MONICA: Cause I already invited her.
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
Monica: Tomorrow night.
Monica: Were not gonna have sex! Okay, nothings changed here. He still doesnt want children and I still do, so thats why were just gonna be friends.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: Yeah well, I ran into Richard.
Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Monica: Oops.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Umm, youve got some on your pants.
Monica: No, but he told me, he thinks your a fox.
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, heres the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, Im gonna be moving out man.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
[Cut back to Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Monica: Oh.
Monica: So we can be friends who sleep together.
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, shes in bed with Richard.]
Monica: No! (pushes him) No!
Monica: Gotta keep squishing.
Chandler: With Roger? (Monica shyly looks away.) Not just with Roger?! (Monica shrugs.) Oh my God!
Monica: Well, uh yknow, our guy works with Chandler and hes really nice and smart and hes a great dresser!
Monica: Yeah. (they kiss) What d'you wanna do tonight?
[Cut to the casino, Monica is walking through it past the craps table when she notices a chip on the floor. She picks it up and heads to the table.]