words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
MONICA: That is wild.
Monica: Yeah? What does she think of your little science project?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the bachelor party has ended and Monica is trying to explain herself to Chandler.]
Monica: Okay! Very funny! Somebody let me out please?! Come on, Im cold! (She spills something.) And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out! (the door opens)
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Monica: Youre not gonna mess it up.
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is in her bedroom.]
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
MONICA: Hell, I wanna see Joey.
MONICA: All I say is, she better get the job.
Monica: Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof!
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, and and, I'm just gonna pay for this with a check.
MONICA: Never call me from that phone.
MONICA: Rachel, that's all we do.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are there, Joey enters wearing an old looking hat.]
Monica: Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are watching Phoebe sleep.]
Monica: Why would I have the keys?
Monica: All right. The super couldnt figure out what it did. A $200 an hour electrician couldnt figure out what it did. Ive had seven pretty serious shocks. I officially give up.
(At Monica and Rachel's)
Monica: Hey, guess what Im doing tonight.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is ranting about Jill to Chandler and Monica.]
MONICA: (enters) Oh my god.
Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
[Time lapse. Monica and Rachel, fixed up somewhat, emerge from a bedroom]
ROSS: Monica!
MONICA: Oh, sorry.
Monica: (To Chandler) You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?!
Monica: Yeah, in-in-in the bathroom.
MONICA: Oh, thank you!
MONICA: Ok.
MONICA: All of us.
(at Monica and Rachel's)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
MONICA: Like?
MONICA: Charity?
MONICA: Alright, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in shower at the gym, and no I don't look.
MONICA: You know what? You're right.
CHANDLER: Gee, Monica, what's in the bag?
MONICA: Do I know you?
(at Monica and Rachel's)
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
MONICA: That was amazing!
(Monica enters from her bedroom)
MONICA: Uh, good.
Monica: Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not gonna let 'em! And we're not a couple of suckers!
MONICA: (on phone) Yeah, hi, it's Monica. I just got a page.
MONICA: It's work.
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Monica: Thank you. My hair is very amused.
(Everyone goes over to comfort Monica)
[Scene: At Monica and Rachel's.]
MONICA: There's my little boy. (Ben starts crying again)
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
MONICA: You know, a party, or--
MONICA: Oh my god.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Monica: (gets up) OK, how does everybody like their burgers?
MONICA: Jacket now.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone is there. Monica is watching stock prices on a business channel.]
Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?
MONICA: All right, what's goin' on?
MONICA: So'd you guys have fun?
Monica: I don't know. Look he's a great guy and I love being with him but... you know. Things happen, and they happen. You don't plan these things.
MONICA: Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
MONICA: Really?
MONICA: That would be the work of a Blowfish.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is returning from Monica and Rachel's with his bedding. Eddie is standing at the bar with his dehydrator and loads of fruit.]
(Monica shakes her head.)
Monica: Whaaat!
MONICA: Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while?
Monica: Hi Dad! I can still call you that right?
MONICA: Chandler, you're not gonna die alone.
Monica: Oh, I'm- I'm so sorry!
Monica: Its okay, cause y'know what? You dont really need me for the business.
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
Monica: (Remotely turning off the television) okay, Pheebs, theyre gone.
MONICA: That was you?
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the group is coming back from the roof.]
(They go open the door and reveal Monica being spun around on the floor polisher and getting the cord wrapped around her legs.)
MONICA: Yeah, I'll be fine.� You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction.
[Monica enters.]
Monica: See if he has ice.
MONICA: So your first whole weekend without Ben, what're you guys gonna do?
Monica: Vividly.
Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).
MONICA: Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not supposed to think about.
Monica: Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. (She shows this with her index finger, mimicking it pushing something up)
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Phoebe: (with her mouthful) Hi Monica.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Monica: Oh Joey, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]