words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
Monica: Oh no, you see were on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class?
Monica: Grab my ass!
Monica: Yknow, no point in dragging it out. Dragging out the long process of you moving out and us not living together anymore.
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Monica: Fine. (Starts to walk away then she runs over and grabs an orange before she exits.) Go! Go! Go!
Monica: Oh my God! Oranges!
Monica: Honey, Im going to put my hand in your pocket!
Rachel: Oh really?! Then how come all your stuff is in this box?! (Monica starts chasing Rachel around the table.)
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Monica: (interrupting) Can I ask you just a little question, huh? Why tonight?
Monica: All right, sweetie that's fine. You didn't do it on purpose.
Monica: Cause they took our apartment, I wanted to punish them. But Im-Im done now. Theyve suffered enough.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Rachel: You mean the one that youre wearing? (Adjusts Monicas pink bra strap as Monica looks down her shirt.)
Monica: I mean think about all the money that youre gonna make!
Monica: What? (Monica sees the first couple and gasps.)
Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff.
Monica: Yeah! Do that!
Rachel: Yeah! Yeah. Theyre theyre-theyre my friends, uh, Monica Stephanopolus and uh, and Chandler Acidofolus.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is on the phone and Phoebe is watching him.]
Monica: Well do something! Get in there!
Phoebe: Well at Monicas you can eat(Suddenly cracks up.)
Chandler: I stole Monicas and changed the name.
Monica: No, the one who looked at you once because you got in her way.
Monica: I wont give you anything, but youll owe me 2.95.
Monica: You were staring about eight inches south of there.
Monica: I-I-I wanna thank you all for coming. My family and my friends
Monica: I know.
Monica: Hi sweetie!
Monica: No, they were really cool. They were on their honeymoon too!
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
Monica: That you can have.
Monica: Oh great! (Shows them the picture.)
Phoebe: Monica! Thats not right! Start with where.
Ross: Her date tipped me ten dollars. (Monica laughs)
Monica: Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows!
Monica: Do you still wanna call em? I wanna call em.
Monica: (on phone) Uh sorry, wrong number. (Hangs up)
Monica: What?! People dont do that!
Monica: (hangs up) I dont think this numbers right!
Monica: They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that?
Monica: (giggles) Of course I have! What do you think, Im some 30 year old virgin?
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
Monica: No, to get a table! Places like are always shakin you down. Everybody wants to be paid off.
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
Monica: Hey! How'd the audition go?!
Monica: Yeah, definitely.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
Monica: I know! Although, you did tell an awful lot of jokes.
Monica: What about my questions?
Monica: Okay, maybe people give out fake numbers, but they dont give out fake names.
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Was that another joke?
Monica: Hell yeah!!!
Monica: I know.
Monica: (taking Rachels hand) Sweetie okay. Its okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. Im fine.
Monica: You used the Europe story!
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
Monica: Hey how was dinner?!
Monica: Okay!
Monica: Okay!
Phoebe: Oh, so you're Monicas boss?
Phoebe: (To Monica) I didnt see this on the menu.
[Scene: Dr. Burke's office. Monica is there for her eye appointment.]
Monica: What is wrong with this freezer?! (She jabs her arm into the freezer and a piece of ice flies into her eye.) Ow! Ow!!
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Monica: Well maybe Im ready now. I mean, its a little scary, but maybe its right.
Chandler: Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Phoebe: Ooh Monica!
Monica: Hi!
Rachel: Monica, yknow what? The only reason I did that was because your party was so boring!
Monica: I I have to fire him.
Monica: I paid to have this done.
Monica: (standing outside) Cute PJs! Youre really livin it up here in London huh?
[Scene: Doug's house, Chandler, Monica, and them are just finishing dinner.]
(Chandler lets her into the apartment and reveals that Monica is getting a massage from another woman.)
Monica: How can that be?! Oh wait! Wait! Are you, are you serious?!
Monica: Why not?!
Monica: Okay well then, Ill fire him today and you go out with him for another week.
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Chandler: I dont know, Monica picked out the flowers.
Monica: What?! You said he was sweet!
Monica: Just dont pick up your phone.
Monica: What do you mean?
Monica: What? So now Im not allowed to fire him?
Monica: I wanted to do this days ago so I think I should go first.
Monica: You didnt tell anybody I was did you?!
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
Monica: (defeated) Oh.
Rachel: (pause) And Monica, what are you going to make?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Rachel: (to Monica) Sorry!! (to Ross) I just feel bad about all that sleep youre gonna miss wishing you were with me!
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Uh well that depends, how are things with Phoebe?
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is waiting for Tim who enters.]
Phoebe: Monica!
Monica: Youre fired.