words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
[Cut to Chandler trying to hint to Monica that he wanted to move in with her in The One After Vegas.]
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
Monica: I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake.
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey!
Monica: Hi!
Monica: What about these? These look the same?
Monica: Not as each other!
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
Monica: You can also find him under umm, dog and dead.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Monica: Yeah. I guess. (She puts more money in the bucket.)
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
Phoebe: God, what a mess. (She grabs the bowl and heads for Monicas.)
Joey: Are you thinking about Monica?
Monica: (on the answering machine) Rach! It's me! Pick up!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Ohh, Im such an idiot. I cant believe I actually thought she could change.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Courtney and Matthew are getting ready to do a scene where Monicas sick.]
Monica: (does Rachel's) Nooo!
Monica: Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream!
Monica: Wouldn't kick her out of bed. No more Vodka for me! (put her glass down)
Monica: Oh yeah right! (She grabs the money and shoves into her pocket.)
Monica: So you can like, bite, and pull peoples hair and stuff?
Monica: All right, I guess we should go.
Monica: There's nothing we can do. You erased the message!
Monica: Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.
Monica: Are we playing football or what? Come on you hairy-backed Marries.
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.
[Scene: A Hospital Reception, Monica and Pete are there.]
MR, GELLER: Wait, how do you zoom out? [zooms out and we see an extremely overweight Monica eating a big sandwich] There she is.
Monica: No, but someones really not going to get over that idea, are they?
Monica: Oh, Rachel, sweetie, look, here's a really cute picture of Joey and you at the reception.
Monica: Yeah, y'know I-I made a commitment to you. Yknow what, itd be, itd be fun.
Monica: Yeah, apparently, theyre pretty good seats.
Monica: (shocked) Wow! All right well, I mean, what can you do? If you lost it you lost it.
Monica: Come on, she'll be here any minute.
[Cut to Gary and Monica at the counter.]
Monica: (shocked) Oh my God!
(Monica leaves and Chandler moves to talk to Phoebe.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
Monica: Ohhhh!
Monica: Relax! It's Phoebe! Not you!
Monica: (looking at the flyer) This is all of your things.
Rachel: Is Monica here?
(Monica starts taking pictures of Ross and Ben, with the flash.)
Chandler: Monica and I are celebrating our ten-month anniversary, we've got reservations at Ja George.
Monica: No, but she likes me. You abandoned her on a plane to Greece.
MONICA: Dad, it is not. What's with the red light?
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
Monica: You're going to talk to him! Y'know what? We made a deal, I make your decisions and I say you're going to talk to him.
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Monica: What?!
Monica: Really?!
Ross: Monica, whatever you do, do not drop that ball!
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are watching a basketball game on the couch.]
Monica: Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway?
Monica: (shocked) What?!
Monica: Rach?
Monica: I don't want a cat!
Monica: So umm, when I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London
MONICA: MEG was good for me but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down.
Monica: So, why don't you just take it back to where you got it?
Monica: Oh myOh good God!
(Joey is leaving and notices Monica, as Monica notices him)
Monica: Rach, why won't they take it back?
(Monica sneezes.)
Monica: Count in our heads as-as good Madlibs.
Monica: So you're moving in with him. What happened?
Monica: Y'know what, thats fine, maybe you havent grown up, but I have.
Monica: Hi.
Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Monica: No Joey, I think he's just watchin' TV.
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica are discussing how to bribe the Maitre d'.]
Monica: No! Ace is low! Ace, two, three, four!
Monica: It's easy! Just keep it casual! Give him a kind word, shake his hand and give him the money!
Monica: Why don't you come over tonight? And I'll make you favorite dinner.
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
Monica: (very excited) Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard!
Monica: Wow! You made a profit!
Monica: All right! Come on Monica! Look alive! Come on, look alive!
Monica: Because we won our apartment back!
Monica: Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
Monica: Yeah! Oh yes!
Monica: It's not Richard! Okay? It's this new guy and he's really good.
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Monica: Bye!
Monica: Well, it just seems that
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is at the kitchen table and Chandler is in the living room.]
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
Monica: Totally!
Monica: Oh good.
Danny: (Looking at Monica) Absolutely! Is Friday okay?
Phoebe: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?