words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Monica: Phoebe?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: We're so sorry.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: A pill?
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Monica: Oh no!
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
Monica: It's worse. The only thing that's getting me through is knowing that I'm gonna be seeing you soon. I think I may even try to get out of here early.
Monica: What we did was wrong. Oh god, I just had sex with somebody that wasn't alive during the Bicentennial.
Monica: -leg?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, except Joey, is there. Phoebe is, well you y'know.]
Monica: Well, now she has no eyebrows, mission accomplished.
(Monica closes the door and slowly walks into Rachel’s old and now empty room.)
Monica: Hey guys check it out! My mom sent me the paper!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are still out on the balcony.]
Monica: Oh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!
Monica: I cant do it! (Ross falls into Monicas room)
Monica: I will! But not tonight. For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape you made me.
Monica: Come on, okay, come on this is for all womankind. Lets kill um!
Monica: Amen.
Chandler: (glaring at her) Well, Monica and Chandler cant go. Were going to dinner remember?!
[Time lapse. Chandler and Joey are making the fire, Monica and Phoebe are inside. Ross enters, carrying luggage.]
MONICA: How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank.
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Monica and Phoebe: Hugh! Hugh Grant!
Monica: Come on! (The girls all run out and Joey holds up Chandler by smiling.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there as Monica enters.]
Monica: (laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Monica: Umm, okay. If its a boy its Daniel.
Rachel: Ohh... (Ross mouths HA-HA at Monica and takes two cookies and she looks at him angrily)
Rachel: (To Monica) Im okay! Im okay! (She knocks on Mr. Heckles's window.) Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please?
Monica: Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?
MONICA: Ok, it is definitely less than a ballpark.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Monica are standing in the kitchen.]
[Scene: Central Perk. The entire gang is there, and Chandler and Monica are handing out presents.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as enter except Joey enter.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Chandler: (entering) Hey Monica, here's your broom back.
Chandler: Look, Monica has been working hard all day, she didn't wanna host this thing in the first place, we shouldn't go!
Monica: (to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me.
Monica: Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are returning from Central Perk.]
Monica: Ugh, yknow, umm we gotta get up early and catch that plane for New York.
Monica: It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie.
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
Monica: You know what would be real weird? Is if you werent there. Just say youll think about it, okay?
Ross: Hi. Im uh, Im Ross. I dont, I dont believe weve met. Im Monicas older brother.
Monica: Now you think I wouldn't enjoy that, because it is so fake, (Laughs) but I still do.
Monica: We're just making conversation. (Chandler makes an agreeing-sound)
MONICA: So uh, Joey and Chanlder, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place.
Monica: Oh good God! If you want a baby so bad just go steal it!
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
Monica: So umm, how was your date with Ginger?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse. Rachel is entering the living room from her bedroom as Monica enters.]
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen eating breakfast.]
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, its your mom. (Hands him the phone.)
Monica: Yeah, apparently theyre turning it into some kinda coffee place.
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Monica: Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else?
Monica:: what means if he gets like a disease or kills someone. not if he gets his jollys to jaws!
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?
Ross: (to Monica) So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?
Phoebe: I know, Im sorry! But yknow, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring.
Monica: It's gonna be a problem, isn't it?
Monica: (Reads) Yeah, I'd say so. And there's no 'j' in 'engorged'.
CHANDLER: I'm sorry. �That's the one thing I can't do.� I promised I'd be with Monica.
[Scene: Central Perk, the same scene is continued from before the break. With Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler sitting on the couch.]
Monica: Phoebe and Gary are so gonna hear about this at dinner.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment: Phoebe, Monica and Mike sitting on the couch]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is eating breakfast as Chandler enters.]
Monica: No! Rachel, you didn't find anyone so you can't tell him.
[Time lapse. Now everyone but Ross and Phoebe is back at Monica and Rachel's.]
Monica: You-you gotta take it now. Come on, do it as a present to me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is all there.]
Monica: I cant be fair. Youre my boyfriend.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is finished telling everyone what happened.]
Monica: Well, an-anyway, I justthat night meant a lot to me, I guess Im just trying to say thanks.
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
(they fight a little, the phone falls and Monica picks it up)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except for Chandler. Rachel is writing something and Monica walks up.]
Monica: It's gonna be weird to watch some actor pretending to be Ben's dad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, morning. Someone knocks on the door and Monica gets it.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is reading Joeys interview.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and the gang is watching Sumo wrestling on TV.]
Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.
Rachel: Oh, ok, thank you. (Molly leaves) (to Monica) Do you see what all the guys see in her?
(Monica opens it anyways.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Monica are returning from their honeymoon.]
[Scene: the hotel game room. Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are telling everyone about their coma guy.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Monica: Yeah! Oh hes great, I love him. (Walks away and Chandler glares at Phoebe.)
Monica: Oh, please, that is such a lame excuse!
Monica: I wont care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. (Points to her heart.)
Monica: No youre fine. (Joey checks anyway.) All right well, do you think I could take Rachel?
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Ross! (To Rachel) See? Other people call me!
Monica: Hello, people who do not live here.
Monica: (looking at Rachels jeans) Where did you get those jeans?!
Monica: I warned you...
Monica: Sure, we have no money, go ahead.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]