words in movies
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken.
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love...
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms.
Mrs. Bing: I am famished. What do I want... (Looks at Chandler's menu)
Mrs. Bing: Oh, you watched the show! What'd you think?
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Mrs. Bing: Who's doing shots?
Mrs. Bing: There y'go. Ross?
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
[Cut to Mrs. Bing on the telephone.]
Mrs. Bing: Yeah, any messages for room 226?
Mrs. Bing: You okay there, slugger?
Mrs. Bing: What is with you tonight?
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?
Mrs. Bing: No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off.
Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.
Mrs. Bing: No, it's you!
Mrs. Bing: No, really, c'mon. You're smart, you're sexy...
Mrs. Bing: You are gonna be fine, believe me.
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
Mrs. Bing: Alright, well, be good, I love you. (Kisses him and goes to leave)
Mrs. Bing: (Reentering) O-kay. Look, it, it was stupid.
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?
Mrs. Bing: You okay, kiddo?
Mrs. Bing: Alright. (Kisses him)
Ross: (Very politely) Mrs. Bing.
Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.
Mrs. Potter: Oh really? Well, then youd better tell his other wife, cause she called three times asking where he is.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]
Mrs. Geller: (to Monica) Your grandmother would have hated this.
Mrs. Geller: Oh no, dont be silly. I just bet Id need these. (Opens the freezer to reveal )
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
[knock at the door, Monica answers to see Mrs. Greene]
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
MRS GREEN: Well, not just for you.
MRS. GREEN: [entering] There she is.
MRS GREEN: Oh hello, Ross.
MRS GREEN: Yes.
MRS GREEN: Look at this.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
MRS GREEN: No.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
Mrs. Green: Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didnt know better Id say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, lets get some tea.
MRS GREEN: No.
Mrs. Geller: I'm not sure I know what you're getting at.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh my god. Now I've seen everything! [Phoebe's voice] Whoa, she's gone. She's gone. She's gone! Go ahead, get married. Go, go.
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Why?
MRS. GELLER: Really.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] In my day, divorce was not an option.
MRS. GELLER: So, who's the mystery man?
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
MRS. GELLER: Oh?
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MRS. GELLER: Oh please, a relationship.
Mike: Not possible! (they kiss, and then Mike says proudly...) She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah. Frank.
MRS BUFFAY: Schnoodle. Oh my God, what the hell happened to my dog?
MRS. GREENE: Well, my goodness, what was that?
MRS BUFFAY: What are these, stitches?
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
MRS. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetie.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
MRS. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetie.
Mrs. Geller: Its nothing, its just that now your Father owes me five dollars.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack.
MRS. GREENE: Hi Monica.
RACHEL: Oh hi, Mr. Wineburg, hi Mrs. Wineburg.
ROSS: Hi, Mrs. Green. [He gets up to shake her hand, but she ignores him.]
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
MRS. GREENE: You wear bi-focals?
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
MRS. WINEBURG: You told me you didn't see anything.
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
MRS. GREENE: Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem.
Monica: Excuse me, Mrs. Burkart? Well, we're all cleaned up in the kitchen.
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. Its Phoebe again.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
MRS. GELLER: You were fired? What're you gonna do?
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
MRS. GELLER: Which one? Which button, Jack.
Mrs. Geller: Honestly! Ross, this isnt just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
(Mrs. Walthams phone rings and she answers it.)
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?
MRS GREEN: The only man I've ever been with is your father.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and Im so sorry for your loss.
Mrs. Green: All right you two, Im gonna get going.
Mrs. Tribbiani: I came to give you this (Gives him a bag of groceries) and this. (Whacks him round the ear)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
Rachel: It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MRS GREEN: This is just so exciting. You know, I never worked. I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
MRS GREEN: Sweetie! So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun.
MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
Mrs. Geller: Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah well, thanks for bringing back what's left of him.
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Frank: Hi, Mrs. Knight.
MRS. GREENE: ...the scotch and the cigarettes...