words in movies
Phoebe: Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business.
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
(Chandler and Monica's, all three of them are listening at the wall to Ross and Charlie's)
Ross: Thanks! (walks out of the room and starts hugging the wall) Thank you! (closes the door)
Phoebe: Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall.
Ross: And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me.
Rachel: Sorry, I just uhm... I can't seem to get Ross out of my head...
Phoebe: (lets go of his hand) You have... have a girlfriend?
Phoebe: Three months? Okay... This is probably none of my business, but uhm, how long do you think you're gonna keep seeing her?
Ross: You know what? I know Chandler longer, so I always think of him as my best friend, but now... I may have to rethink some stuff...
Joey: I can't think of anything.
(They both hug, and Rachel, who was in the back of the plane, sees this and smiles.)
(Ross walks to the back of the plane, where Rachel is.)
Mike: One more thing... There... might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table.
Precious: Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe?
Chandler: So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn?
Chandler: It's "Ride of the Valkyries" from "Apocalypse Now"... See, here's the thing: The corn rose were really a solution to your frizzy hair problem. And now that we're home, we don't have that problem anymore, so if you think about it... I hate them!
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
Ross: (gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel)
Rachel: Because you took three hundred bottles of shampoo?
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Phoebe: Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.
Chandler: If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose?
Chandler: (trying to untangle her) Some of these look a little frayed.
Rachel: No! Of course we can wait. Alright, so I guess that means good night then?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica walks in with one of those knitted Rasta hats.]
(There's a lot of yelling and screaming coming from the hallway, and they get up to look at what's the noise all about. In the hallway, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe are having another wind-up animal race, yelling and screaming fanatically.)
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
Phoebe: Whoa!! Thatokay, thats a lot of pressure on me and my uterus. (to Dr. Zane) So, well okay, so is thereis maybe is there something that I can do yknow just to like help make sure I get pregnant?
Joey: Glass of fat?
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
ROSS: Hey, hey, woah, you want some of this, huh? You want a piece of this, huh? I'm standin here, huh.
Chandler: Why not? We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later, they'll find each other and be reunited. I mean, that's a great day for everybody.
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, the rest of the gang is lounging around.]
Phoebe: So umm, now do you have any of Matt Lauers clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that havent been cleaned yet?
Phoebe: Yeah, but at what cost? Six more months, three meals a day, Im gonna eat like, yknow millions of cows.
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Ross: Thats okay. Shes still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, its too late to do any of the things I had planned, so
Lauren: I know! I-Im a big fan of yours.
Mr. Treeger:: Oh yeah, of course you dont!
CHANDLER: Sweet mother of all that is good and pure.
Chandler: ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Monica: Well Id probably be scared of a guy using a fake voice.
[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette. While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a squirt of air freshener and gags.]
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
Chandler: Because thats the only part of you he can see when hes on the table!
Joey: Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but youre so beautiful I dont think I can.
Chandler: (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965.
Ross: Hey, yknow if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing.
Phoebe: No, no-no, she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily, the one who killed herself.
Rachel: (to Monica) I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?
Ross: (putting out the fire with a squeeze bottle of water) Okay, thats a fire. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Phoebe: Of course you can take a couple days off work because this trip includes me!
Rachel: (grabbing a beer out of the chairs fridge) I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself!
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
RACHEL: [holding a pillow made out of 4 inch red fur] Hey, nice pillow. So now tell me, is this genuine Muppet skin?
[Cut to a hospital room set on the Days of Our Lives stage. Two nurses are standing next to a bed with a man whose face is completely covered in bandages and reading his chart.]
Chandler: Well yknow, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it is a bit of a challenge.
Chandler: Oh, sweet Lord. New realms of pleasure!
Chandler: So, shouldnt we go give her the benefit of the doubt before we go snooping around her crotch?
Joey: Uh, yeah, okay. Except I sorta felt like I needed a couple of seconds to get ready.
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Rachel: (proud of her self) I almost caught that one!
Ross: You do appear right on the cusp of something. Come on man, I'm sure he'll lose interest in a week or two, but for now can you please just do this for me?
Rachel: When?! After the birth of our first secret child?! (To All) Ross didnt get the annulment; we are still married.
Chandler: Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
ROSS: Come on up. I'm gonna get the rest of his stuff together. [walks in his room]
Monica: Oh, I asked one of the waitresses at work if she'd help me out.
Janice: Come on over the years none of you ever y'know, got drunk and stupid.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Ross: Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?!
Rachel: Yeah I am, I am! Oh, but first of all, Monica, I would like to introduce you to my very talented colleage and more importantly my wonderful friend Gavin Mitchelle.
Monica: Um, and, well there's the.. the the small matter of...
Monica: Hey, don't say that! You got just as good a chance as anybody else of getting that job!
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Dr. Green: So what's new with you, uh, knocked up any more of my daughters lately?
Ross: Okay, y'know what, lets just cut to the chase here. Okay? Heidi, which of my boys do you like?
Joey: What kind of smell?
Ross: If like the four of us could all yknow, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emilys coming into town this weekend, why dont you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night?
Rachel: Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! (crying) And it was uneven for weeks!
The Interviewer: So, according to your bio, youve done quite a bit of work before Days of Our Lives. Anything youre particularly proud of?
Mike: That's great. What kind of music do you play?
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
(Ross reveals a bag of apples.)
Phoebe: (looking at the clock) Oh wow, three hours and still no baby. Ugh, the miracle of birth sure is a snooze fest.
Phoebe: Just for some short-term-work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients.
Joey: Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... (confidently) I made it work.
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
Julio: Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. (points to her lip)
JOEY: I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married? [They all look at Chandler]
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
Chandler: She was.... But y'know what, just in case, maybe we should come up with a set of ground rules.
Chandler: I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
[The next flashback is from The One Where No One's Ready. Joey is retaliating against Chandler hiding his underwear by wearing a whole bunch of clothes.]
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
Ross: Well I dont know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Phoebe: Hey, you know what might help you deal with it? Think of it this way, you and Emily are in the past and you can't be mad about the past. So are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase?
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Ross: Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
[Scene: The airport, the Yemen Express counter, Chandler is still trying to get rid of Janice.]
MNCA: Look, maybe this is none of my business, or maybe it is, I don't know... but, uh, I'm kind of worried about you.
(As Bonnie goes to do just that, Rachel smiles to herself, proud of what shes done.)
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
Ross: She doesnt know which one of us she wants, me or this Colin guy.
Chandler: Oh-oh, yeah, and did he also say that ah, some of the dialogue was corny and that he actually found it was funny and not sexy?
Phoebe: Okay, get out of my kitchen!
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Ross: I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt!
Charlie: Hum, so, I started to say you something earlier, hum... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else.
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross enters the display where Rachel is waiting.]
Joey: Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be?
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Chandler: No. He.....hes coming out of his shorts.
Joey: Ah-ah-ah! Were doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
Monica: Whose little ball of paper is this?!
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?