words in movies
Phoebe: Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business.
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
(Chandler and Monica's, all three of them are listening at the wall to Ross and Charlie's)
Ross: Thanks! (walks out of the room and starts hugging the wall) Thank you! (closes the door)
Phoebe: Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall.
Ross: And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me.
Rachel: Sorry, I just uhm... I can't seem to get Ross out of my head...
Phoebe: (lets go of his hand) You have... have a girlfriend?
Phoebe: Three months? Okay... This is probably none of my business, but uhm, how long do you think you're gonna keep seeing her?
Ross: You know what? I know Chandler longer, so I always think of him as my best friend, but now... I may have to rethink some stuff...
Joey: I can't think of anything.
(They both hug, and Rachel, who was in the back of the plane, sees this and smiles.)
(Ross walks to the back of the plane, where Rachel is.)
Mike: One more thing... There... might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table.
Precious: Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe?
Chandler: So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn?
Chandler: It's "Ride of the Valkyries" from "Apocalypse Now"... See, here's the thing: The corn rose were really a solution to your frizzy hair problem. And now that we're home, we don't have that problem anymore, so if you think about it... I hate them!
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
Ross: (gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel)
Rachel: Because you took three hundred bottles of shampoo?
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Phoebe: Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.
Chandler: If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose?
Chandler: (trying to untangle her) Some of these look a little frayed.
Rachel: No! Of course we can wait. Alright, so I guess that means good night then?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica walks in with one of those knitted Rasta hats.]
Joey: Correct! Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Phoebe: Well, Ive got to get out of this bed, Im going crazy here. Crazy!
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
Phoebe: You were fantastic! Im so proud of you!
Monica: Yeah? Im proud of me too.
Phoebe: Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we dont know where we are, so we cant get a tow truck.
Phoebe: Its just y'know, been a couple of hours, and she hasnt called. Not that I even care, y'know.
Amy: Oh my god. You're on Days of Our Lives.
Joey: What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole.
Phoebe: Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys.
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Chandler: 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.
Ross: Okay look, I had a lot of water before I went to bed. Can we do this after
Rachel: Oh yeah! Actually, thats one of the reasons why were not a couple.
The Cooking Teacher: Monica, you go to the head of the class.
Ross: That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry?'.
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
Monica: Joey! Im so proud of you!
Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.
The Cooking Teacher: Well actually, did either of you pay for this class?
The Interviewer: Now youll be heading a whole division, so youll have a lot of duties.
Monica: What about the rest of Manhattan?!
Chandler: Fear of Triscuts?
Chandler: Oh good, 'cause I've already thought of 3... 4! I've just thought of a fourth (he goes towards the counter)
Chandler: You just said Of course youre my best friend. Would you please tell Rachel though?
Phoebe: Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress.
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Rachel: Great! We will do all of those.
Chandler: I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. (She tries to whistle and blows little chunks of cheesecake out of her mouth.) How can you eat the cheesecake without me?!
Amy coming out of the bathroom: Hey. Hey where's the baby?
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
Ross: Im getting that baby out of you!
Chandler: No. We were in the middle of sex and you fell asleep.
Ross: I really think theyre out of rooms.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Chandler: But I didn't get to shape my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
(They stop when they see Ross who has to struggle to get out of the bed.)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
Chandler: So you didnt mean any of that?!
Julie: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know, like Andie McDowell's new haircut?
Ross: (acknowledging the last part of her sentence) Well...
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
Joey: Well hey, at least you got to see a lot of stuff, right?
(Hes still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)
Chandler: All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, yknow, youre gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself.
(They run off in search of a bed.)
Chandler: Maybe that's because she's a minion of the anti-Christ.
Rachel: Oh for the love of God!
Chandler: Um, we're kind of having an emergency and we-we were looking for something...
Phoebe: Absolutely! Yknow, you get this rush of feelings, but then it goes away.
Joey: Date of birth?
Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Chandler: No, no, no, guys. She's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey you pack 'em and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs.
Chandler: Do not speak ill of the dead.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Chandler: Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because Im exhausted! Because Joey started snoring!
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Evil Bitch: Shes in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch!
Ross: Can I get some of that action?
Rachel: (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I dont think this is.
[Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear]
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Rachel: I know. Days of Our Lives, thank you very much.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Ross makes some sort of sound to let us know it hurt.
Janine: No, but you should go to Chandlers. Because none of us knows how to cook, well probably just end up drinking all day.
Phoebe: Shocking! Lets play the game of who can stay quiet the longest. (Giggles)
Joey: Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Ross: (exhaling) The fear of Triscuts!
Monica: Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.
Ross: (enters from the bed room) Okay I put most of the stuff away.
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
ROSS: Newly appointed head lunch chef who is also in charge of purchasing--
DELIVERY GUY: I don't think that's gonna affect the plot of the show.
Chandler: Actually Pheebs its more of a husband and wife kinda thing
Phoebe: Oh Im kinda part of this.
Chandler: Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?
Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?
Joey: Its pretty, Okay date of birth?
[This starts a series of flashbacks; the first one is from Episode 106: The One With The Butt, Joey is in a play called Freud!.]
Rachel: Well, there is one thing that we havent tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Ross) "That will open up a can of worms."
Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains.
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
RACHEL: Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room.
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?