words in movies
Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
Ross: No! Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery? I...I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times.
Chandler: Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times.
Ross: Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki.
Ross: Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.
Rachel: Yeah so get ready to hear alot of ehm...boohaki, goshdarnit and brotherpucker.
Chandler: No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.
Ross: Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it!
(phone starts ringing and Chandler comes running out of the bathroom)
Monica: Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three.
Chandler: One of the slots got filled.
Joey: I'll do it!! It'll get the casserole stink off of mine.
(Phoebe and Joey both grab one side of the wishbone)
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Ross: Oh, I've gotten into the habit of calling Rachel "Mommy" when we're around Emma. Which I now realize we are not ...
Monica: Hey, don't say that! You got just as good a chance as anybody else of getting that job!
Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
(Rachel comes out of their bedroom waving tickets)
Rachel: Ok, well Monica, suppose one of your "special" tickets win? How are you gonna feel when you win the lottery and you lose all your friends?
Monica: Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days!
Rachel: (surprised) OH! Alright, you know what? That's it! I want my share of the tickets (picks up the bowl)!
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Monica: Phoebe, we lost half of them.
Phoebe: As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. (pause ) So, excuse me for being a little skittish.
Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."
Second Message: "Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want."
Monica: (she draws out a ticket from a pocket of her pants) 131! (they kiss)
Joey: (sitting on the sofa in front of the tv) Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers! My God, I can already feel myself changing.
Rachel: Oh, but of course it is!
Rachel: (searching the dictionary) Alright, okay, okay, gleba, gleba... (excited) Gleba! Ha! Here it is: the fleshy, spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi.
(Rachel shows Ross the definition on the dictionary, giving him a smug look; then she squints at the dictionary, as though unsure what to make out of it)
Monica: Just double checking (does so)...no, no, no...(takes off a shoe and takes a ticket out of it) No!
Steve: Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter.
Steve: Yes, that's right. We're excited about the level of sophistication you'll be bringing to the job.
Monica: Oh sweetie, I'm so proud of you!
Rachel: You know what? There is a little part of me that really thought we were gonna win.
Ross: Phoebe, you don't have any of the first five numbers.
(Joey comes in from the back of the coffee house)
Phoebe: I beg to differ (shows him her cup of coffee and her plate of cookies).
Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monicas maid of honor!
Chandler: Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.)
[Ross holds up the blouse. It is extremely tacky, with sewn-on medals hanging off of it.]
Chandler: Hey, by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, cause I wanna trade for her.
Ross: Thats, thats, thats a big candy bar. (Shes holding one of those huge Toblerone bars.) I had the most amazing time with you.
Monica: All right, you just make sure that Chandler catches the ball, Ill take care of the rest.
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
CHANDLER: Could you get us a couple of beers?
Ross: Oh, I-I don't know, it's kind of expensive for a studio.
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Monica: (thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Ross: No, of course not! (Thinks) ...Yeah, yeah, it is.
Ross: Apparently, Stings son made fun of the fact that Bens moms are lesbinims.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Joey: Nice going. You just saved yourself a couple months of sex.
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
[Scene: The lobby of Ross's building, he's sitting on the couch at the bottom of the stairs, and he's practicing enticing women to join him on the couch.]
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy.
Chandler: Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me?
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
MRS GREEN: I guess I just figured of all people you would understand this.
Rachel: Hey! Yknow, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything theyre supposed to wear, and one of those little guys just gets through!
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Joshua: Yeah! I mean youre-youre beautiful and smart and sophisticateda lot of this isnt based on tonight.
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Here I am.
Chandler: Well yeah! But now that I know that youre having these thoughts, Im back to panic, anxiety, and uh Im definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink.
Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Ross: I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable!
Phoebe: So wow, it looks like you took care of everything. Thanks a lot, co-host.
Chandler: Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us?
David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Chandler: Oh, well, ah... maybe thats because theyre ah... jealous, of us.
CHAN: And weenie number two has it. Unless, of course, nine-down, Knights in White Satin was sung by the Doody Blues.
Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.
Phoebe: Well, why did you make like a whole big thing out of y'know, everyone has to hang out in the big apartment?
Joey: Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it.
PHOEBE: Oh, ooh, Soap Opera Digest, oh that's one of my favorite digests.
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Mrs. Burkart: (singing) ...emblem of the land I love. The home of....
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Chandler: Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Phoebe: Why dont take care of this one, and should I get pregnant again, Ill hold onto your card, okay?
Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun!
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
Phoebe: Uh, well I can tell you why. Its, its because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay?
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Amy: Yeah! Hey, sure! The "Days of Our Lives" guy!
(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)
Joey: Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.]
Phoebe: Well speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my apartment?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs?
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
Rachel: Ohh! And Im one of them!! Wow! Oh, I just cannot believe this! I mean, Joey Tribbiani!
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
Paul: Joey! (Goes over and hugs Joey and picks him off of his feet.)
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Chandler: Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and shes gonna know.
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Phoebe: OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there?
Mona: How could you have kept all of this from me?
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Chandler: Im not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)
The Cute Guy: Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend.
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
SUSIE: It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down. Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan.
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
Phoebe: Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me.
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Phoebe: Okay fine! Fine! Well just have to think of some other way to put the whole Who came onto who, thing to rest! Come on now, think!!
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
Jill: So who made her queen of the world?
Joey: Hey! (Monica turns and looks at him) Now Im a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Monica: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
Paul: Ooh, steer clear of you.
[Scene: Chandler arrives home and Monica's got a video of Sharks ready for Chandler.]
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
Dr. Biely: Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota.
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )