words in movies
Rachel: (ecstatic) Oh my God! Its Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse. Phoebe is now looking at the covers of two different books.]
All: Of course well help! Yeah! Well be here!
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, its the set of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. The producer is showing Joey around the set.]
Wayne: I spent two years developing this machine, its absolutely state of the art.
Ross: Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens.
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
Paul: A part of him did yes.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is working on her book at the kitchen table, Monica is on the couch, and Chandler is entering from the bathroom carrying a package of toilet paper.]
Phoebe: And how none of it matters when the people really love each other. (Chandler and Monica kiss.) And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as its a compliment.
Rachel: Oh! Well lets look for them. (Finds some under one of the couch cushions. It has a pink, fuzzy ball on the key chain.) Oh-oh-hey! Are these them?
Paul: Oh, here they are right here. (Picks them up from underneath the corner of the couch.)
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Rachel: Oh no! Yes! Of course, I know that! I justI meant yknow are you still a We or are you just You?
Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see you!
Rachel: No! Downstairs! And we got to talking yknow, for like two hours, and I really liked him so I invited him up here for a cup of coffee.
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Monica: (writing on a piece of paper) Phyllis is sitting in a chair.
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Ross: No! No! NotI dont mean I-I see her as a twelve-year-old girl! I mean I-I have a son, whos umm six and I still think of him as a baby.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Phoebe: Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly its my book to the rescue, huh? (Reading her book) Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
Chandler: Thank you for writing your book. Its-its uh, great book and you are the queen of everything.
Monica: Inside of telling us you decided to write in your stupid book!
Wayne: Yeah. Her. All of them. Anyone.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
Paul: Neither of us like Ross!
Rachel: (returning) Wait-wait-wait, I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is!
Rachel: Oh! Ive got a lot of those too!
[Cut to an outside shot of the museum.]
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
Joey: Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here?
Phoebe: Look everyone, its the spirit of Thanksgiving!
Ross: On account of my rage.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her sex-capades.]
Ross: (covering his eyes) Dude! That's my sister! (She shows the rest of the gang.)
Chandler: Well let's .let's see what everybody thinks of that?
Ross: Man, look at all those stars! (Yeah, you can see what? Five of them from the city?) Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesnt it?
Danny: Well, of course.
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Mr. Burgin: Youll wear that. Well be eating, and of course, youll be wearing that.
Chandler: (entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo) All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. (to Joey) Get up.
Chandler: I think its great. Its great. Yknow, theyre thinking of changing the name of this place.
Chandler: Of course!
Chandler: Because of the weekend, we had a fight.
MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
Phoebe: One of the babies is kicking.
Chandler: Yeah, just think of it as $25 per room!
Chandler: Oh! Good for you Pheebs, way to go! (Breathes a sigh of relief)
PHOEBE: Yeah. Ok, you don't have to believe me but um, can you think of any unfinished business she might have had, like any reason she'd be hanging around?
Rachel: (Running to the ticket counter) Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. (Slightly out of breath) Hi.
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
Joey: Aww thats nice. Family should be there, huh? This is her wedding, happiest day of her life.
Chandler: Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.
Mr. Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hand a multipage bill to Jack.)
[Cut to a shot of a park.]
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some of the coffee.)
Joey: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
[Scene: New York City Department of Correction, Monica is visiting Fake Monica.]
Joey: All right! Here we go! 1999! The year of Joey!
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Phoebe: Yeah, well hed prefer water colors, but y'know, he has easy access to a lot of charcoal.
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Dr. Leedbetter: Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.
Chandler: ....three years of modern dance with Twila Tharp! Five years with the American Ballet Theater?!
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
(Phoebe gets up, holds the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Phoebe: He is sweet. Hes too sweet. He calls me all the time. (Mimicking him) "So did-did you get home from work okay?" "Did-did you get out of the shower okay?"
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
Rachel: Let me uh, let me ask you something, do wedding vows mean squat to you people?! And why is it that the second we tell you were going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbors dog walker?!
Phoebe: Y'know none of my other student thought I was stupid.
Joey: Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there.
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
Phoebe: No, that was my way of telling you. Well, it turns out hes incredibly sensitive, he keeps a journal and he paints. He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me.
Monica: Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids . (realises) All right, I get your point.
Rachel: Well-well that's 'cause I went down there and they were all smoking. This is actually the smell of success.
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Ross: Oh, be-because of the leather pants.
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
(They struggle for the cart. Finally, Rachel climbs inside of it.)
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much (Joey covers Hugsy's ears) Oh don't cover its ears! (stops yelling) It's because it reminds her of her uncle Joey!
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
Chandler: Is this the best way to use one of your three magic wishes?
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Joey: (climbing out of the hole) What?! What?!! What is it?!
Rachel: Oh right, cause you always pull your pants down at the count of three and play Wipe-out on your butt cheeks.
Rachel: (touched) Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw.
Chandler: Yknow? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, thats you and I together! Merge!
Monica: Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing!
[Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience wating for a play of Joey's to start.]
Rachel: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
Phoebe: Tomato tart and which of the pastas would you recommend?
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Ross: Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
Joey: All right, then you'd better show me some of that too then.
Rachel: Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are about to read another one of Joey's efforts.]
(Ross does not approve of Chandler's daft theory.)
Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry. (Burst into song and dances out of the door.) "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."
Joey: Uh-huh. This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And, some of it is not even popped!
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Janice are returning from their DAY OF FUN!]
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Doug: Now get on out of here, you! (smacks him on the butt)
JOEY: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this.
Ross: What kind of problem?
Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again itll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closets still available?
Chandler: Wow! Why do you want to get rid of her so badly?
Mike: I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get some more clothes.
Joey: Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.)
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Monica: 2 minutes, 12 pies and a part of one tin! Okay, I see you guys at 4.
[Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.]
Chandler: Thats just a lot of big talk, y'know.