words in movies
Ross: Fine! Yknow what? It doesnt matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
Chandler: Trust me, you dont want him there either. Okay? Nobody is gonna be staring at the bride when the father of the groom is wearing a back-less dress.
(Suddenly from out of nowhere Ross dives onto the hood.)
Rachel: Just washing the windshield. (She turns on the wipers forcing Ross off of the hood.)
{Transcribers Note: She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel. Does anyone know why that is? Its a tradition left over from Porsches racing history. The worlds greatest endurance race is the 24 Hours of LeMans. Which is in France and runs for 24 hours straight from noon on Saturday through the dark of night and finishes at noon on Sunday. In the 60s LeMans had a unique start where the drivers would actually start the race outside of the car and across the track. At the start of the race, the drivers would run across the track, get in the car, buckle up, start the car, and drive off. Porsche wanted to reduce the amount of time that took. Since all cars to that point had the ignition switches on the right side of the steering wheel, that required the drivers to use their right hand to grab the seat-belts, put the car in gear and start it. The drivers left hand did nothing. Porsche in order to save a few seconds in a 24-hour race; moved the ignition switches to the left side of the steering wheel so that the driver could start the car with his left hand while grabbing the seat-belts with his right hand. Thats why every Porsche car built since then has the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel.}
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is entering from the bedroom carrying two bags of luggage.]
Monica: Here! (She sets a bag down in front of him.)
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowersThink of the money well save!! (Monica just looks at him.) Were not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Joey: Youve seen my huge stack of porn right? (Phoebe nods.)
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is walking from the bathroom to his bedroom and walks past a pile of Rachels laundry, which just happens to include a selection of panties. He stops, goes back to the basket, looks for Rachel, picks up a lavender thong, and heads for his bedroom. However, he decides he doesnt like his selection and goes back this time picking up a red low-cut silk brief and heads for his room, flexing along the way to prove his masculinity.]
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas and the strip before we arrive at 4 Queens bar, where Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table waiting for the show to start.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Policeman: And you promise youll get this taken care of right away?
Helena: (singing) For Im loved by a pretty wonderful boy! (Applause.) Hello! And welcome to the show. I see some of our regulars in the audience. And a couple of irregulars. (He starts going into the audience.)
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Phoebe: Wow! Nice! Manly and also kind of a slut.
Helena: Im not very fond of New York. Queens I like. (Noticing Monicas ring.) Ooh, what is this sparkle something! (Shows the audience who woos.) Honey! Huh?
Helena: (disappointed) I see. Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. (To a bald guy.) So youre bald?
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Joey: Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there.
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
Phoebe: No, that was my way of telling you. Well, it turns out hes incredibly sensitive, he keeps a journal and he paints. He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me.
Monica: Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids . (realises) All right, I get your point.
Rachel: Well-well that's 'cause I went down there and they were all smoking. This is actually the smell of success.
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Ross: Oh, be-because of the leather pants.
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
(They struggle for the cart. Finally, Rachel climbs inside of it.)
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much (Joey covers Hugsy's ears) Oh don't cover its ears! (stops yelling) It's because it reminds her of her uncle Joey!
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
Chandler: Is this the best way to use one of your three magic wishes?
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Joey: (climbing out of the hole) What?! What?!! What is it?!
Rachel: Oh right, cause you always pull your pants down at the count of three and play Wipe-out on your butt cheeks.
Rachel: (touched) Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw.
Chandler: Yknow? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, thats you and I together! Merge!
Monica: Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing!
[Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience wating for a play of Joey's to start.]
Rachel: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
Phoebe: Tomato tart and which of the pastas would you recommend?
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Ross: Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
Joey: All right, then you'd better show me some of that too then.
Rachel: Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are about to read another one of Joey's efforts.]
(Ross does not approve of Chandler's daft theory.)
Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry. (Burst into song and dances out of the door.) "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."
Joey: Uh-huh. This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And, some of it is not even popped!
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Ross: Excuse me, do any of you know how to play?
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Janice are returning from their DAY OF FUN!]
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Doug: Now get on out of here, you! (smacks him on the butt)
JOEY: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this.
Ross: What kind of problem?
Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again itll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closets still available?
Chandler: Wow! Why do you want to get rid of her so badly?
Mike: I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get some more clothes.
Joey: Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.)
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Monica: 2 minutes, 12 pies and a part of one tin! Okay, I see you guys at 4.
[Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.]
Chandler: Thats just a lot of big talk, y'know.
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
Joey: Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, theyre all gonna make fun of her, do you want that?
Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.
Ross: Thanks, I put a lot of extra thoughts on your gift.
Danny: Uh, actually, actually, I'm having a party at my place on Saturday, it's sort of a house warming kind of thing.
Monica: Of course.
Joey: Well (taking his cell phone out of a pocket) I’m wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this.
Joey: Thanks so much, Pheebs! (to the dog) We are going to have so much fun, yes we are! (the dog sticks his head between Joeys legs) Oh! Not that kind of fun.
David: Kinda stepped on the toes of what I was going to say.
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is getting a cup of coffee as Joey and Phoebe enter and sit down.]
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
The Fan: No-no, it was! She was in Sex Toy Story 2, Lawrence of Alabia, and I got her autograph! The guys at the comic book store arent gonna believe this! (Exits.)
Phoebe: I have quarters! (She holds up a bag of quarters.)
Monica: Guys, you're a few steps ahead of us.
Monica: Honey, I dont think thats something we need to worry about! First of all hes-hes never gonna tell her how he feels about her. And even if he did you have no idea how shed react.
Ross: Look, I'm sure it would be great, but I-I think one of us has to be thinking clearly, so, I'm gonna go!
Ross: Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
VAN DAMME: Perhaps, uh, the three of us, just could. . .
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
[they pull out the box of condoms but there's only one left]
Joey: Yeah that's not such a bad situation they got going over there. I'm thinking of getting me one of those.
RACHEL: OK, you wanna play? OK, let's play, let's play. [She grabs a jar of tomato sauce and Monica's purse]
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, I�m not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be conceived?
Ross: I made fun of his accent.
Rachel: So, which of this kitchen stuff is mine?
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
Chandler: Okay. (She grabs a tin of freshly baked cookies) Oh yes. (He reaches for one.)
Phoebe: No. No! Yes! Ahh. Oh, would you look at that Monica? I just knocked off all of your top scores, how sad.
Rachel: Oh, you know what - my first impression of you was absolutely right. You are arrogant, you are pompous ... Morgan! Morgan! Tag's last name was Morgan! Huh!
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Rachel: A couple of bucks.
CHANDLER: Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area?
[the bullies grab the back of the couch that Ross and Chandler are sitting in and tip back]
Ross: Uh-huh. But it was a first for the rest of my building.
Guy: Welcome to the building. I'm uh, Steve Sarah; I'm president of the tenants committee.
Ross: Oh yeah, we're uh, yeah we're not together. (He starts backing out of the store.)
Chandler: Im gonna say this for the last time. Would you please just (He moves his arm which opens the drawer and hits in the back of the head, which proves his point.)
Rachel: I don't know why Joey had to kiss her! I mean, of all the girls at the party, GOD!
Monica:: he has to work, there's some rush on the big (pause, thinks) ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is watching a Spanish version of The Waltons. At a nearby table sit Monica knitting, Rachel winding a ball of wool, and Chandler supplying them both from a skein which is spread between his hands.]