words in movies
Chandler: She went on one of those spray-on tan places.
Chandler: Just so I know, how many more of those can I expect?
Phoebe: Cut her out of our lives! Just ignore her calls and dodge her 'till she gets the point!
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
Joey: Hey what do you say, we move this onto the likes of the couch?
(Sound of dialing numbers is heard from the speaker of the machine)
Chandler: Oh My God! You can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself!
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Phoebe: Oh! Well, what kind of emergency that gets us both out of here?
Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
(Monica holds her hands out for a hug, but instead of hugging her, Amanda hangs her purse on one of Monica's extended arms.)
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
Rachel: You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.)
Phoebe: Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in.
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
Ross: Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it?
(He then stops turning, facing one of the nozzles, which starts spraying in this face and front again.)
Ross: OH! SON OF A BITCH!
Joey: Yeah, was there a part of you that... felt like it was... really wrong?
Rachel: Yeah, and if doesn't work, then we'll be just one of those couples that never have sex.
(Ross's face is now a VERY dark shade of brown.)
Chandler: No, I just had to get a picture of this.
Rachel: Great! We will do all of those.
Chandler: I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. (She tries to whistle and blows little chunks of cheesecake out of her mouth.) How can you eat the cheesecake without me?!
Amy coming out of the bathroom: Hey. Hey where's the baby?
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
Ross: Im getting that baby out of you!
Chandler: No. We were in the middle of sex and you fell asleep.
Ross: I really think theyre out of rooms.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Chandler: But I didn't get to shape my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
(They stop when they see Ross who has to struggle to get out of the bed.)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
Chandler: So you didnt mean any of that?!
Julie: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know, like Andie McDowell's new haircut?
Ross: (acknowledging the last part of her sentence) Well...
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
Joey: Well hey, at least you got to see a lot of stuff, right?
(Hes still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)
Chandler: All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, yknow, youre gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself.
(They run off in search of a bed.)
Chandler: Maybe that's because she's a minion of the anti-Christ.
Rachel: Oh for the love of God!
Chandler: Um, we're kind of having an emergency and we-we were looking for something...
Phoebe: Absolutely! Yknow, you get this rush of feelings, but then it goes away.
Joey: Date of birth?
Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Chandler: No, no, no, guys. She's right. We should get to work. I'll take stuff out of the closet, Joey you pack 'em and Ross you re-pack whatever Joey packs.
Chandler: Do not speak ill of the dead.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Chandler: Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because Im exhausted! Because Joey started snoring!
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Evil Bitch: Shes in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch!
Ross: Can I get some of that action?
Rachel: (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I dont think this is.
[Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear]
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Rachel: I know. Days of Our Lives, thank you very much.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Ross makes some sort of sound to let us know it hurt.
Janine: No, but you should go to Chandlers. Because none of us knows how to cook, well probably just end up drinking all day.
Phoebe: Shocking! Lets play the game of who can stay quiet the longest. (Giggles)
Joey: Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Ross: (exhaling) The fear of Triscuts!
Monica: Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.
Ross: (enters from the bed room) Okay I put most of the stuff away.
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
ROSS: Newly appointed head lunch chef who is also in charge of purchasing--
DELIVERY GUY: I don't think that's gonna affect the plot of the show.
Chandler: Actually Pheebs its more of a husband and wife kinda thing
Phoebe: Oh Im kinda part of this.
Chandler: Okay, you know how that people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?
Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?
Joey: Its pretty, Okay date of birth?
[This starts a series of flashbacks; the first one is from Episode 106: The One With The Butt, Joey is in a play called Freud!.]
Rachel: Well, there is one thing that we havent tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Ross) "That will open up a can of worms."
Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains.
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
RACHEL: Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room.
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
[And with that, we go into another set of clips, this time from Rachels point of view.]
Monica: You got out of the whole Tulsa thing?
Rachel: Yes, of course there is! Okay? I'm not insane!
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
Rachel: Joey, I think everyone saw the wine come out of your nose.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life.
Phoebe: I'm out of here (She leaves)
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler peeks in the door. He doesn't see Eddie so he enters, breathing a sigh of relief. Eddie pops up from behind the bar.]
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
[Scene: The Moondance diner, Monica is cleaning up with one of the waiters, with her back turned to him she removes her fake breasts and hides them under her wig.]
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandlers fathers Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Chandler: Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends.
Chandler: Yea yea. (Pulls the balloon out of his mouth)
Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
Chandler: Of course I will call you. I love you.
Ross: please don't cry because of me pheebs I don't know what I'm talking about, I've been divorced three times.
Chandler: I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money.
Monica:: how do you know I have one of those?
<Everyone is looking around and at Joey with looks of 'what?' on their faces>
Joey: Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English.
Phoebe: And Joey, get me a bottle of wine and glasses? (He begrudgingly does so.)
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Ross: (he makes some really weird noise hear that sounds kind of like )Ayyyayyyy!
Rachel: Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for (Ross starts making a lot of noise with a handheld pepper grinder) this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I...(stops and looks at Ross)
Ross: Oh yeah its fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control.
Chandler: let ME be a part of this!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Phoebe: (to Ross) Im telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go to my herbal guy.