words in movies
Chandler: She went on one of those spray-on tan places.
Chandler: Just so I know, how many more of those can I expect?
Phoebe: Cut her out of our lives! Just ignore her calls and dodge her 'till she gets the point!
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
Joey: Hey what do you say, we move this onto the likes of the couch?
(Sound of dialing numbers is heard from the speaker of the machine)
Chandler: Oh My God! You can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself!
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Phoebe: Oh! Well, what kind of emergency that gets us both out of here?
Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
(Monica holds her hands out for a hug, but instead of hugging her, Amanda hangs her purse on one of Monica's extended arms.)
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
Rachel: You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.)
Phoebe: Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in.
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
Ross: Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it?
(He then stops turning, facing one of the nozzles, which starts spraying in this face and front again.)
Ross: OH! SON OF A BITCH!
Joey: Yeah, was there a part of you that... felt like it was... really wrong?
Rachel: Yeah, and if doesn't work, then we'll be just one of those couples that never have sex.
(Ross's face is now a VERY dark shade of brown.)
Chandler: No, I just had to get a picture of this.
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
Joey: Awww, one of my students got an audition. Im so proud.
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
Joey: Well, given that he's desperately in love with you, he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something.
Chandler: Joey's tailor...took advantage of me.
Rachel: (taking cookie) Ok, thanks Pheebs (takes bite of cookie, overwhelmed) Oh my God, why have I never tasted these before?!
Rachel: I guess I can talk to one of my supervisors
Ross: People are doing it in front of my book!
Rachel: Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. (There's a knock on the door.) Maybe that's him. (Goes to answer the door.)
CHANDLER: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I figured a shot yknow? Maybe one of those stories would make me cry and then you wouldnt think I was yknow, all dead inside.
Monica: Why? Because of the government.
(They both take a drink of coffee.)
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
Phoebe: All right fine! This looks like so much fun. (Examining the bowl of wet paper towels.)
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Yeah! Convince her that-that youre scared of commitment! Convince her that youre a little coward!
(The real Wedding March begins playing from behind the closed doors of the chapel.)
Joey: Well because you didn't give me advice! No! You gave me a pickup line! As soon as I told her I wanted to y'know, build a foundation and be friends first. I suddenly, through no fault of my own, became irresistible to her! (Pause) And her roommate!
Ross: Okay, okay, Im sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and Im the king.
Joey: I was afraid of that.
(He starts to put his pants on, but Rachel manages to drag him to the chair. When they get to the chair, Chandler drops his pants and knocks the chair away. Rachel then backs him up and locks him to the top drawer of a filing cabinet.)
Monica: Inside of telling us you decided to write in your stupid book!
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
Chandler: Its not all juice! (Rachel quickly gets out of the way.)
Receptionist: Well, heres a schedule of whats coming up. (Hands it to him.)
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Ross: Got me. (He shows of his hands.)
Chandler: Yknow what? It seems like all of the sudden; so much has happened.
Ross: No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils.
[Scene: The lobby in Ross's building, we see a flyer that is on the bulletin board that reads, "Are you the Hot Girl who waved at me? If so, give me a call!" and it's signed, Joey 629-9*** (The last couple of numbers have been ripped off). Anyhoo, Ross is getting his mail.]
Joey: Okay, all right, whew! What do you say we all clear out of here and let these two lovebirds get back down to business? (Ross turns and glares at him.) Hey-hey-hey, I-I-I'm just talking here, he-he's the one doing your sister.
PHOEBE: Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.
Ross: Do you realize I have a classroom full of students?
Guru Saj: Well, relax. If it makes you feel better, Ive attended some of the finest medical schools in Central America. Well then, lets take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. (motions to the table) Come on, have a seat. (looks at it) Eeh, huh. As I suspected, its a koondis!
Joey: Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl.
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Joey: Yeah! Look! (He throws some of his spaghetti on the floor.)
(He holds up a white poster with huge red letters. It reads, "Welcome Home Baby." There is also a huge red stain on the left of the poster.)
Joey: All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)
Jill: Why are you so jealous of me?
Chandler: Why are you napping over here instead of over at your place?
Monica: This is the most special day of our lives.
Chandler: Do you think I work at some kind of boot pricing company?
Phoebe: (laughs) All I could think of was yknow, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?"
[Cut to Phoebe in another part of the store.]
Phoebe: Oh, you're a paleonthologist, too! (pause) Oh, ok, now, what do you think of Ranion's new theory of species' variegation in segmented arthopods?
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
Joey: Fine! (He slams on the brakes, stopping the car on the bridge to the sound of numerous car horns.) Get out!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
[Scene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane, when she sees he's coming off with another woman.]
Monica: Lets take a walk. (They start to leave.) Yknow maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine! (They exit.)
Chandler: That was one of the worse things ever. And not just on TV.
Joey: I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!
Ross: The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, we've got a bit of an emergency here...Jason Costalano is choking on his retainer.
Ross: (He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Chandler: (To Monica) Of course it is. (Mouths to Ross) Wowwhoa!
Monica: Ohh, Im sorry I couldnt think of anymore for Ross!
Rachel: Well wait a minute, what happened to Days of Our Lives?
[Scene: Rachels office, shes looking at a picture of Tag when he knocks and enters.]
Monica: Thats not true, there are great pictures of us!
Rachel: I swear, I never wanted any part of your night!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is working on her book at the kitchen table, Monica is on the couch, and Chandler is entering from the bathroom carrying a package of toilet paper.]
Joey: Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!
Rachel: Yeah. Ahh, heres a box of your stuff. (hands him a box)
[Scene: Phoebes hospital room, Joey and Ross enter as Phoebe comes out of the bathroom wearing her robe.]
Ross: Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too!
Monica: Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days!
Rachel: No? Yknow, I can tie one of these into a knot using just my tongue.
(He tries pushing against the chest of drawers. Then he opens one of the drawers and climbs into the closet using that; he falls behind the chest of drawers with a shout.)
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Rachel: Heywhoa, slow down. (Gets a whiff of him) No, keep moving. (Joey runs off.) Wow!
[Scene: It's an old home movie of the Geller's backyard, young Ross is dressed up as Bea, and pouring himself/herself some tea.]
Joey: Well, not that its any of your business, but, no, we havent, okay?
Phoebe: Both of you together?
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
Monica: Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this!
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Ross: Its also a sign of friendship.
Rachel: No! You gotta get me out of here Phoebe! These bargain shoppers are crazy!
Soothing male voice: ..a sound Mom and Dad never forget. For this after all, is the miracle of birth.
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Phoebe: Hey! Do you want do you want a little taste of Pheebs?!
Rachel: Mindy?! My maid of honour, Mindy?!
(Joey climbs up on the counter and starts looking at the top of the cabinets.)
Rachel: Ok, great, because I gotta get out of here, the smell of beets is killing me!
CHAN: I had about a mugful in this lovely 'I got boned at the Museum of Natural History' mug.
Ross: Well obviously only one of us can keep dating her.
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Ross: A lot of other gas smells
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
(An old woman pushes a cart full of books past.)