words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Ross: So I told Carl, Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. But of course this went in one ear and out.....
Joey: Question. Was ah, Egg the Gellers! the war cry of your neighbourhood?
Janice: Wait! Wait! I wanna see this. After I divorce him, half of that kingdom is gonna be mine.
Ross: Yknow your probably not allowed to sleep with any of your students.
Phoebe: (sees a little kid playing with a race car bed) (to kid) Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. (the kid just stares at her, and she makes the that went right over your head motion) Woo!
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Dr. Green: What kind of person is allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works at a library.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Joey: Awww, one of my students got an audition. Im so proud.
Rachel: Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along. (Ross groans and rubs his neck) Oh, would you just see my chiropractor, already.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Rachel: All right thats it! I am maid of honor!
[This starts a series of flashbacks beginning with Monica and Chandler in the waiting room in The One With the Birth.]
Ross: Yeah, a lot of my students do that.
Chandler: Uhh, youve had a lot of sex right?
Monica: Thats right. Get it out of your system while were alone.
Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Monica: (Scoots towards the side of the bed.) Could you not look?
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
Monica: Alright, well, this does not change anything. (to Chandler) Okay, we need to get something to grease the sides of his face.
Rachel: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love."
(Matt turns back and looks and them, but instead of his next line he starts laughing.)
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
Rachel: Oh Pheebs thats so sweet(Grabs a pair of pants)Ooh, those are so cute!
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Rachel: Oh wow! That deserves another piece of candy.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
(Matt grabs his plate and takes some of whats on Rosss plate.)
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Where's Monica?
Ross: 'S'funny, um, uh, we agreed we'd spend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches. I believe Julia's on the table..?
Rachel: (seeing the collection of characters.) Wow! It looks like the Easter Bunnys funeral in here.
Erica: You're kidding me? I mean, it's enough that you are a doctor. But on top of it, you're married to a reverend?
Joey: Man, this is bad! And Ive had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one though. (Quoting) "Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."
Mr. Bing: Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Arent you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Dr. Green: I just called a friend of mine.
Monica: Well Joey, were all were all very proud of you.
Chandler: Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, theres a big selling calendar, eh?
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!
Chandler: I can do that, Ive had 30 years of practice.
Monica: All right. (Looking through a box.) Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison?
Policeman: And you promise youll get this taken care of right away?
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Chandler: Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannies made some new friends.
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. Im buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!
The Teacher: Are you with one of the students?
The Teacher: Are you one of Bens mothers?
Chandler: Well, she probably wasnt familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings!
Joey: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
Rachel: Ohh, theres a picture of her in the yearbook actually.
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah well, thanks for bringing back what's left of him.
Monica: Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)
Phoebe: Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?
Ross: Department of Sanitation?
Monica: I cant think of anything were doing. (Quietly) Why cant I think of anything were doing?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.]
Rachel: Okay get your coat! (They get their coats and start to leave. Rachel suddenly stops and sticks the hand up the back of her shirt.) Oh! When did you unhook this? (Her bra.) Nice work!
Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom...
Mike: Wanna get out of here?
Doug: So why cant the three of us go out together?
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Frank: Wait, y'know what, I-I came to you because I thought youd understand! Oh no!! Y'know, I would storm out of here right now if-if I had some money, or a place to go
Phoebe: Okay. (The gang is giggles then Phoebe gets the bike out of the rack, gets on, pushes off, rolls a few feet, and falls over.) See?
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Rachel: Thats the end of this conversation!
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
Rachel: Oh! Did you hear that?! My dads proud of me! My dads proud of me.
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Rachel: Its still(Screams)Its got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here!!
Monica: Well I-I really dont remember the name of it.
Rachel: They made you head of the department!
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Joey: Ah Hey, so this roommate of yours is he good looking?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Joey: Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Joey: Alright, so so tell me one of your moves.
Chandler: That was an obvious joke, and I didnt think of it. Why didnt I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done!
Rachel: No, of course, of course Ive heard of them! Ross, what did you get?
Phoebe: Okay, (starts to pack up her stuff) fine. Come dinosaur, were not welcome in the house of no imagination.
Kim: Forget it Rachel! We're both so proud of how well you're doing. I'm not gonna let you blow it. In fact, if I catch you with a cigarette, you're fired. So go on, get out of here! Go on, I don't want you breathing this stuff! Go on!
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Rachel: No one! They are my friends, I wouldnt punch any of them.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someones cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
CHANDLER: Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.
Rachel: So tell me, what are Joey Tribbianis end of the night moves?
Monica: No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over.
Rachel: Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Joey: Oh sure, yeah, why not? (Sits on the arm of the chair.)
ROSS: It wasn't so much a party as...a gathering of people, with food, and music, and, and the band.
Monica: Anyway, it just doesnt seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? Its a lot of work.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
Phoebe: Hey, are you going to find out the sex of the baby?
Phoebe: Wow! Nice! Manly and also kind of a slut.
Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives?
Stu: So, tonights the night of the big bachelor party?
Joey: Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. (To Dirk) Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. (Ross and Dirk shake hands)
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
Rachel: And Im Rachel, an admirer of the building.
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Phoebe: Ohh, Im getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Yknow, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table. (She goes over and stands in front of the TV.)
Joey: I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani." Like.. like I was some kind of idiot.
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.