words in movies
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Monica: Wow, Monica! What an amazing opportunity to influence dozens of people.
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Ross: I dont know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but theres this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch.
Monica: All right, were you guys smoking something in the back of our van?
Ross: Gandolf the wizard. (Joey is still confused) Hello! Didnt you read Lord of the Rings in high school?
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Joanna: Filing system? Oh-oh! You mean those-those little colored labels you put on all the folders? (to the committee) It certainly did brighten up the inside of the filing cabinets.
Mrs. Lynch: I notice that youve been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities.
Rachel: I-I-I of course, I have more responsibilities than that.
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Monica: I couldnt eat it! I had five friends who couldnt eat it, and one of them eats books.
Monica: All right, that Ill retract. But I stand by my review, I know food and that wasnt it. Youre marinara sauce tasted like tomato juice! You should serve it with vodka and a piece of celery.
Allesandro: Hey! Im proud of that sauce, its delicious.
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: Yeah, and I-I gave first names to all of the foosball players.
Monica: Okay, the owner of Allesandros came over to yell at me, but instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!!
Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception.
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Ross: Im just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, yknow? I used them as mittens, I didnt want to touch a thing in that last place.
Monica: Ive been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person.
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
RACHEL: Now just how big of a star is Marcel?
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, youyeah, of course you get to be my best man.
Danny: (To Gunther) Two pounds of Moca Java please.
(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)
Chandler: Honey, it's us. Of course it's the shovel-killer.
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Monica: Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain forest!
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
Chandler: Okay, so he's out of here.
Joey: (leaving Central Perk and seeing Monica laying on top of Rachel who is moaning in pain.) Oh my.
Mr. Geller: C'mon, you'll make a day of it! You'll rent a boat, pack a lunch...
Chandler: Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa , so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated.
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Joey: Of course!! (Shrugs.)
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
Ross: Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
Joey: Now it just hit her that she's leaving and she's kind of emotional so no one say anything to set her off, ok?
Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.
BARRY: And once again she is out of here. Okay who had 9:45? Um?
Phoebe: Okay, so we got some more good rejections, lots of stuff to work on.
[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date, without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]
Rachel: Hmm. (she opens the freezer) Umm, why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer?
(Rachel rips one of the wall and finds a huge hole underneath.)
Elizabeth: Oh, dont worry I have plenty of sun block, its SPF-30.
Chandler: I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is sitting on the step drinking a beer as Rachel comes out of the guys apartment.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
(They start making out and she kicks the eighteenth century Indian artifact from Calcutta off of his apothecary table from the days of yore and the magical city of White Plains.)
[Ross leaves to find Karl. Rachel takes a peek under the loincloth of one of the display models.]
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
Joey: So whats really neat. If you sear the stems of the flowers first in a frying pan, your arrangement will look fresh much longer.
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Janice: Okay. All right. This is what we're gonna call it: 'Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!'
Monica: We got out pictures back from London. (Shows her one.) Here's all of us at the Tower of London.
[Cut to an outside shot of the museum.]
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
Joey: Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here?
Phoebe: Look everyone, its the spirit of Thanksgiving!
Ross: On account of my rage.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her sex-capades.]
Ross: (covering his eyes) Dude! That's my sister! (She shows the rest of the gang.)
Chandler: Well let's .let's see what everybody thinks of that?
Ross: Man, look at all those stars! (Yeah, you can see what? Five of them from the city?) Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesnt it?
Danny: Well, of course.
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Mr. Burgin: Youll wear that. Well be eating, and of course, youll be wearing that.
Chandler: (entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo) All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. (to Joey) Get up.
Chandler: I think its great. Its great. Yknow, theyre thinking of changing the name of this place.
Chandler: Of course!
Chandler: Because of the weekend, we had a fight.
MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
Phoebe: One of the babies is kicking.
Chandler: Yeah, just think of it as $25 per room!
Chandler: Oh! Good for you Pheebs, way to go! (Breathes a sigh of relief)
PHOEBE: Yeah. Ok, you don't have to believe me but um, can you think of any unfinished business she might have had, like any reason she'd be hanging around?
Rachel: (Running to the ticket counter) Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. (Slightly out of breath) Hi.
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
Joey: Aww thats nice. Family should be there, huh? This is her wedding, happiest day of her life.
Chandler: Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.
Mr. Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hand a multipage bill to Jack.)
[Cut to a shot of a park.]
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some of the coffee.)
Joey: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
[Scene: New York City Department of Correction, Monica is visiting Fake Monica.]
Joey: All right! Here we go! 1999! The year of Joey!
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Phoebe: Yeah, well hed prefer water colors, but y'know, he has easy access to a lot of charcoal.
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Dr. Leedbetter: Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.
Chandler: ....three years of modern dance with Twila Tharp! Five years with the American Ballet Theater?!
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
(Phoebe gets up, holds the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Phoebe: He is sweet. Hes too sweet. He calls me all the time. (Mimicking him) "So did-did you get home from work okay?" "Did-did you get out of the shower okay?"
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
Rachel: Let me uh, let me ask you something, do wedding vows mean squat to you people?! And why is it that the second we tell you were going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbors dog walker?!
Phoebe: Y'know none of my other student thought I was stupid.
Joey: Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there.
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
Phoebe: No, that was my way of telling you. Well, it turns out hes incredibly sensitive, he keeps a journal and he paints. He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me.
Monica: Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids . (realises) All right, I get your point.
Rachel: Well-well that's 'cause I went down there and they were all smoking. This is actually the smell of success.
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Ross: Oh, be-because of the leather pants.
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
(They struggle for the cart. Finally, Rachel climbs inside of it.)
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much (Joey covers Hugsy's ears) Oh don't cover its ears! (stops yelling) It's because it reminds her of her uncle Joey!
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
Chandler: Is this the best way to use one of your three magic wishes?
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Joey: (climbing out of the hole) What?! What?!! What is it?!