words in movies
Rachel: Oh Pheebs thats so sweet(Grabs a pair of pants)Ooh, those are so cute!
Monica: Oh, and by the way, hes lost a bunch of weight. I mean he looks goo-ood! Okay, I mean really, really gorgeous! (Joey clears his throat.) I still love Chandler.
Monica: Anyway, it just doesnt seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? Its a lot of work.
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like-like Fourth of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas!
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Will: 150 pounds. Yeah, Im gonna be in one of those Subway sandwich commercials.
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Rachel: What? (Joey starts offering Ross some turkey.) Oh yknow what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck!
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Will: Thats right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.
Rachel: Ohh, theres a picture of her in the yearbook actually.
Chandler: Well, she probably wasnt familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings!
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
Phoebe: Im sorry. Im sorry. I never got to be in a club. I-I didnt go to high school, but three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French. Bonjour.
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Ross: As a romancer of the elderly.
Monica: Hey! Mrs. Altman was the kind of woman you could tell she used to be pretty.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Will has left and the rest of the gang is watching Joey finish the turkey.]
Monica: Well Joey, were all were all very proud of you.
CHANDLER: Now wait a minute, I claimed you in the name of France four years ago.
Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
Joey: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.
(He kisses her on her shoulder, then her neck, then the side of her face, then just before he kisses her on the lips....)
Don: so Ive been slowly phasing out the wine importing and focusing more on the cheese side of things.
Pete: (turns off the TV) Youre taking this all wrong. Because, if I didnt leave you that tip, you wouldnt of come down here, we wouldnt be having this argument, and there wouldnt be this ah, heat between us.
Ross: I dont know! I guess I just cant believe any of this is happening.
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Phoebe: Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together?
Rachel: Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?
Ross: Okay, okay. Enough, enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this. Okay. I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can come to the party!
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Phoebe: Okay, so what do you guys really think of Chandler?
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Rachel: I hate this apartment! I hate the color of these walls! I hate the fact that this place still smells like bird! I hate that singing guy!
[Scene: The park, the gang is returning to play the second half of the game.]
Rachel: (changing the subject) Anyway, speaking of drinking too much. I was uh, tellin Phoebe about that one crazy night after the Sigma Chi luau where you and I uh, we made out.
CHANDLER: That's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Rachel: (on the verge of tears) Okay.
Monica: Come on! Come on! Hurry! Were running out of time! Huddle up!
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Chandler: So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend?
Frank: Wait a minute, wait, this is because of you?
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
[Chandler makes a noise of absolute disgust and heads into the living room.]
Ross: Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so.
Hayley: so it was kind of a shock after 25 years of marriage my parents, a perfect couple getting divorced, I kinda took it the hardest cause I was the youngest.
[Scene: The Coma Guy's Room, Monica bursts in, closely followed by Phoebe. There is no sign of Coma Guy. His bed is empty.]
Chandler: Just out of curiosity did she tell you how youre gonna go?
Rachel: No, you're right. Well, we'll find something. Let's just get you out of that. Come on.
Ross: Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship. Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.
Chandler: I mean, You wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger would you? Don't answer that.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
RACHEL: Actually, what I think you said was, "don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen."
PHOEBE: Look kibbles, bits. Oh God, alright, get the hell off my leg you yippity piece of crap. [Flings the dog off and jumps in the cab. The dog keeps jumping up to the window.] Ok, alright, we have a problem.
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
Precious: Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe?
Rachel: I mean why, of all people would you want to go out with Chip?!
Phoebe: Yeah, but yknow, about have of these are gonna end up getting divorced.
Chandler: (thinks for a second, then waves his arms, exclaiming:) AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (and runs out of the apartment)
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
Chandler: Okay! You dont think I thought of that?
PHOEBE: Um, gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
ROSS: [holding cream pitcher] Oh, darnit, we're all out of milk. [holds pitcher in front of Chandler's chest and flips the lid] Hey Chandler, would you fill me up here?
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.
Phoebe: Listen, Roberts gonna be here any second so, will one of you just tell him?
(Just then, Charlton Heston walks out of his dressing room and starts eating a liquorice whip.)
Melissa: I dont know. I dont remember a lot of things that never happened.
Chandler: I know, I hate being left out of things.
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
Ross: Yeah, I-I really do. (takes a dinosaur mug out of the box) Hey! This-this was a gift?!
Ross: Im so proud of you.
Phoebe: Wait. Really?! Cause mine get me out of tickets.
Ross: Of Ross and Rachel.
Mark: Ross of.....
Mr. Tribbiani: Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you.
Joey: Relax. Here hold this (hands her his beer). This old stuff just comes right off. (he bends down to try and lift some tile right in the middle of the floor, in his tight pants.)
Chandler: (notices something) Oh my God, the air purifier! Ross's air purifier! All I heard through 4 years of college was (makes a humming noise.)
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
CHANDLER: Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks.
Rachel: Well, Im really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. (hands him an audio cassette)
Ross: Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.
Joey: (to Leslie) Ah, anything we might of heard of?
(A guy at the end of the table starts laughing.)
Rachel: (to Ross): So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Rachel: Yeah! Especially not with all of these knives and cookbooks around
Monica: What kind of karate is that?
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Chandler: Y'know what I think it is? It's the fishnet stockings. Y'know? Whenever I see a girl in fishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
(Ross does approve of this, but he's still not sure. The tiny figure stirs.)
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
(The rest of barbershop quartet enters, and joins him.)
Ross: Wow! It looks like we got a lot of good stuff.
Ross: No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad.
Rachel: You know that depends on what it is! I've done a lot of stuff.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah and you know what, I know she's gonna wanna run again, I just don't know how to get out of it, I mean, I live with her.
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel is in the living room and Joey comes out of his room.]
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
Joey: Like this. (pointing to the picture) Pictures of cute babies we dont know. We..we cant have that.
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Ross: Oh, I've gotten into the habit of calling Rachel "Mommy" when we're around Emma. Which I now realize we are not ...
Chandler: Well, lets just say its ironic how footage of someone being born can make you want to kill yourself.
Chandler: You know, we dont really take advantage of living in the city.
Cecilia: Well of course not, but you were very good.
(Ross is shocked, but Rachel drags him out of the office.)
Richards Date: Were still on this side of the door.
Mindy: Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.
Ross: ...and these come in the shapes of your favourite Christmas characters, Santa, Rudolph, and Baby Jesus.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. I've got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming...
Chandler: Yeah, were gonna have to get you out of those shoes.
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Monica: Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]