words in movies
Joey: Oh thats on the house courtesy of Joey Tribbiani.
Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?
Joey: How about a scone on the house baby?
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Ross: I dont think charging new clothes too your dad qualifies as making it on your own.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Whats goin on?
Rachel: Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Come on. (Coughs loudly.)
Rachel: (on the couch) Oh hi! Yknow, I just wanted to see if there were any leads on the old job front.
Rachel: What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things arent on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him!
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Monica: Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that Im not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Monica: Okay, fine I admit it! I feel terrible! Would you please rub this on my chest? (She hands him some of that Vicks Vap-O-Rub to put on.)
Monica: Come on! I really need your help!
Monica: Fine, Ill rub it on myself.
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. Ill let you fill in the blank here.)
Chandler: So youre just, kinda rubbing it on yourself?
Monica: Are you kidding me?! Is this; is this turning you on?
Chandler: Oh come on you big faker!
Monica: God, Ross is on a date with your sister! How weird is that?!
Hoshi: All right, on the table. (Pete gets on the table for his rubdown)
Ross: Hey! (Listens.) Yeah-yeah, we're just having dinner. (Listens.) Uh, yeah, sure uh hold on. (To the gang.) She wants to say hi. (To Emily) Hold on.
Phoebe Sr: No, I was working on my pottery.
Chandler: If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?
Ross: (tapping her on the shoulder) Phoebe? Phoebe?
Rachel: Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?
(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, hes happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)
GUY: Alright, fine. [on the phone] I'll call you back. [hands the phone to her]
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... [Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Monica: All right, hold on okay? First thing's first. (Gets her cleaning gloves on) Okay, now did Ross sit anywhere while he was naked?
[Reset, Joey is about to pour more booze on.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Chandler: I'm gonna put on some music.
(Rachel pushes on the couch and pushes Ross out the door.)
Phoebe: (laughing and banging her spoon on the table) Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.
Monica: What is going on with you?
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly dont qualify for an annulment. If you two dont want to be together youll have to file for divorce.
(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebes door.)
Ross: Come on, Chandler.
Joey: Come on man! You've been here all day!
Ross: (licks the envelope and encounters a foreign substance on the glue.) Oh God!
Emily: (on answering machine) Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.
Chandler: Theres a Phoebe on my sandwich! (He walks away, giving the sandwich to Phoebe.)
Ross: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)
Phoebe: You wanna work on your interview skills?
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Chandler: No ah, hold on a second Joe, where do Dutch people come from?
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
Joey: No-no, she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team.
Phoebe: Come on, seriously! When did it end?
Ross: Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didnt actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. (Apollo 8 was the first one that orbited the moon and the one that read the Christmas Story from the orbit of the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968. They also took the famous Earthrise picture of the Earth rising over the moon.)
Chandler: Come on, Rach.
Kathy: I'm sorry, it's just this Ernie Cofax thing on in a few minutes I wanted to watch.
Janice: Here, Ross, take our picture. (Hands him a camera and he starts snapping) Smile! You're on Janice Camera!
Ross: You got ink on your lip.
Rachel: Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what shes talking about! I am an excellent driver!
Monica: I dont believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house!
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Ross: I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
Phoebe: I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Monica: Okay, come on, I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
(Follows Joey into their apartment and shrugs on his way out.)
Monica: Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are making out on one of the chairs.]
Rachel: Now that youre on youre own, youre free to look as stupid as you like.
Phoebe: You can't put your cigarette out on a tree!
Ross: (entering) What's going on?
Monica: Vomit tux? Who vomited ony'know what, what you up to Joe?
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Ross: You dont want to believe me, Im Mr. Funny to you. Mr. Funny (turns around and almost spills his coffee on Tommy)
Dr. Schiff: Im sorry, is there something going on here?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still working on the seating chart as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: Ooh, yknow what, I think its time for puppy to go out again. Come on, lets go to the balcony.
Phoebe: Well, I'm kinda on a clock here.
Amy: wow. They must put a lot of makeup on you.
SUSAN: Come on. I'll let you lead.
Eric: Im an idiot. Uh, is your mother here? Maybe I can give her a little slap on the butt.
Ross: Hey, y'know while were on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you dont live here anymore.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is deciding on whether or not to go to the wedding.]
Mr. Geller: I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!
MONICA: Rose Marie really belongs on a smaller screen, doesn't she?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
Monica: All right, let me see. (She grabs the 8 ball.) Will Chandler have sex tonight? (Reads the answer.) Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me.
Raymond: COME ON!!!!
Rachel: Come on you guys! What are doing?! I thought we were the patch sisters!
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Pete: Okay, thats great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
Kim: Oh, she doesn't come down here any more. You can find her up on ten.
Joey: Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. (Chandler pours some juice in a glass.) You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.
Rachel: Come on, I don't really want to be doing this right now. I am carrying a very heavy couch.
Phoebe: Ohh, (laughs) umm, we kinda took a little detour on the way over here.
Rachel: What's going on?
Ross: Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!
Chandler: All right! Fine! But its just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I dont want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
Rachel: Ah, I-I never should have said what I said. Ityknow what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us, and what I would love is just to go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day Monday lots to do. So, we're okay?
Monica: What's goin' on?
MONICA: Oh that's great, why don't you tell mommy on me.
Ross: No. I... I wanted to be with you. I dont know, I feel like lately, I feel like youre slipping away from me, y'know. With this new job, and all these new people, and youve got this whole other life going on. I-I-I know its dumb, but I hate that Im not a part of it.
Joey: Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! (Points to the screen, of course it isn't him.)
Phoebe: On your dresser.
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
[Cut to Chandler and Monica on the couch.]
Rachel: Ughhhh!! Forget it! (Sits down heavily on the bed.) This is, this is not how this is supposed to happen.
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Phoebe: (sees a little kid playing with a race car bed) (to kid) Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. (the kid just stares at her, and she makes the that went right over your head motion) Woo!
Joshua: Whats up? Youre voice sounded all squeaky on the phone.
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
[Scene: Danny's apartment, there's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Joey: (running and banging on Chandlers door) The stripper stole the ring!! The stripper stole the ring!! Chandler! Chandler, get up! Get up! The stripper stole the ring!
Ross: Is the old woman on the bicycle still alive?
Monica: (on the answering machine) Rach! It's me! Pick up!
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. Im on sabbatical!
INTERVIEWER: And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.