words in movies
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe walks up to and knocks on Chandler and Monicas door.]
Monica: (opens the door wearing a robe, but leaves the chain on) Hey, whats up?
Phoebe: I cant believe this! How long as this been going on?
Phoebe: OkayOop! Too late! Im leaving! Come on Chandler lets go! (She storms out.)
Joey: Oh okay, okay! One more push! One more push! Come on honey, were almost there! Were almost there!
Joey: What? Whats going on?
Rachel: (looking down) Oh-oh!! One hand on the sheet Joe!
Monica: Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.
Joey: Well I got stuff going on in here (Rubbing his belly) if you wanna feel.
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Monica is lying on the massage table waiting for Phoebe.]
(Phoebe turns on some music and grabs some oil.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has a box of keys and is trying them on the secret closet when someone enters.]
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still working on the door.]
Chandler: So, hows the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Monica: Whats going on?
Phoebe: Yeah, and it really freaked me out! And after a while I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
Joey: Whats going on?
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is pounding out the hinge pins on the closet door to get it open.]
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Phoebe: Come on more!
Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...?
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Mrs. Waltham: Oh, am I on the radio?
Ticket Agent: The last minute fare on this ticket is twenty seven hundred dollars.
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
(Emily spins the bottle and it lands on Joey.)
Ross: Touched. Used. Sat on. Sleep on.
Chandler: Youre coming on to the entire room! (He goes over to pick up a stack of magazines next to her, and to get her attention, he throws them back down.) Im Chandler.
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Phoebe: Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feelOh no! (Realizes that her deed made her happy and therefore it's selfish and covers her mouth in horror.)
Ross: What's going on?
MONICA: It's goin' great. Right on schedule. Got my little happy helpers.[everyone groans]
(Monica pats Joey on the shoulder.)
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Ross: Okay, okay. Ooooh, ooh maybe I rode in on a Harley.
Ross: Shes fine. She doesnt know youre gone. And she doesnt have to know, okay? Now come on, were going home.
Monica: That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!
Ross: (on phone) Hi.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Susie are making out on the couch.]
Rachel: No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
(Ross puts her on speakerphone.)
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder...
Ross: Come on. (Helps her into bed as her phone rings.) I got it.
Rachel: Monica, this is Dan (points to him), one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. (Mouths "He's yours." to her.) Uh Dan, Monica.
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Chandler knocks on the front door. Joey answers the door.]
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
(He punches her on her shoulder mockingly, then goes and sits down on her bed)
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is the show still on?
Larry: (notices something) I wonder how long that milk (on the counter) has been setting out.
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Rachel: Come on Joey, I just bought you a new chair! The most expensive one in the store! Hey, yknow what I was thinking? We could name her Francette.
Monica: Y'know what, I think we should play a game. I mean come on, its been twelve years.
Rachel: Look, you guys... this is really, really important to me. And it means a lot if you could try to get on board.
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Mr. Zelner: (Sees that she has some ink on her lip from her pen.) Oh Rachel, uhh (He points to his lip to get her to notice the ink on hers.)
[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date, without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]
Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
(Rachel approaches and we see the fruits of Ross's evil plan. He has drawn a moustache and beard on Rachel. The flight attendant just ignores it.)
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Phoebe: Well, I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Yasmein Bleeth running on TV, and the duck starts quacking.]
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
The Teacher: All right, let's move on.
Chandler: What is going on here?
Chandler: Let's do it, come on!
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Phoebe: What's going on?
Ross: Yeah, what's going on?
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Phoebe: All right, I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places. (She puts on her fur coat.)
Rachel: She was kinda stupid. You're right. All right, I'm just gonna go on the date. I'm gonna go on the date. That is the new plan.
Monica: Come on, hurry!
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
Monica: No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up!
Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) Whats going on?
Ursula: All right, hang on! (She takes the note, goes back into her apartment and slams the door shut.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! We know what these are worth.
Joey: Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)
Joey: Come on look guys, don't fight.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's unpacking after moving in. There's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
Phoebe: (reading the nametag on the uniform) Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue!
Monica: Hey, see that snippy guy over there? Hes the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Chandler: Oh come on!! (Storms out.)
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. I mean, god, you just come in here, and drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What? What do you want? Do you want my blessing?
Monica: Chinadolor Bong, come on, we steal that TV Guide every week!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Monica are curled up on one of the chairs.]
Joey: Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is...
Ross: Hold on.
Joey: Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
Monica: Can you just hold on for one minute?
Rachel: Come on Joey!!!
Jay Leno: (On TV to Dick Clark) Is there any entertainment there? What are people doing?
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Ross: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Pheebs, what's going on?
Monica: Okay, what's going on with you?