words in movies
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe walks up to and knocks on Chandler and Monicas door.]
Monica: (opens the door wearing a robe, but leaves the chain on) Hey, whats up?
Phoebe: I cant believe this! How long as this been going on?
Phoebe: OkayOop! Too late! Im leaving! Come on Chandler lets go! (She storms out.)
Joey: Oh okay, okay! One more push! One more push! Come on honey, were almost there! Were almost there!
Joey: What? Whats going on?
Rachel: (looking down) Oh-oh!! One hand on the sheet Joe!
Monica: Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.
Joey: Well I got stuff going on in here (Rubbing his belly) if you wanna feel.
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Monica is lying on the massage table waiting for Phoebe.]
(Phoebe turns on some music and grabs some oil.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has a box of keys and is trying them on the secret closet when someone enters.]
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still working on the door.]
Chandler: So, hows the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Monica: Whats going on?
Phoebe: Yeah, and it really freaked me out! And after a while I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
Joey: Whats going on?
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is pounding out the hinge pins on the closet door to get it open.]
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Phoebe: Come on more!
Joey: I know Im having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!
Rachel: I'm on the phone! (On the phone) Dr. Wiener? (Ross and Rachel walk away)
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Rachel: (On the phone) Excuse me? Oh yeah? Well, up yours too! (Hangs up)
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Ross: So, did he get on one knee, did he have a speech prepared, or (in a tender way) did he cry? (the guys look at him) Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals!
Ross: It didn't spend much time on the wall!!!
Phoebe: No. No! It's just y'know first, I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me.
Monica: Oh! Did anybody see that-that documentary on the Korean War? (Joey is pissed)
(Ross gets up and starts to hop on one leg.)
(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)
<Everyone is looking around and at Joey with looks of 'what?' on their faces>
(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Joey: I couldn't. He was saying all these really nice things about me. I didn't want him to get mad and take 'em all back. I'm on a edge on Chandler.
(Steve goes over to look at Ross who's trying to look cool, but has some frosting on his lip.)
The Teacher: Oh, their number is on the contact sheet.
Chandler: What's going on?
Bob: I just found out this is Chandlers office! Come on Toby, give me a hand!
[The next flashback is from The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, Phoebe is telling everyone but Rachel about the pass Paulo made on her.]
Chandler: yeah just some good old fashion girl on girl American action.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Joey: I know! I found it on the street.
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
Chandler: Get ready to run. (Chandler walks over to the new bride.) Congratulations on your wedding. (He grabs her, kisses her, Ross takes the picture, and they both run out.)
Lady: Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she…
Rachel: (flinches) Ross! Come on! That's all right! Fine--Okay, I have a weird thing about my eye. Can we not talk about it please?
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Rachel: Ah, did I leave the stove on?
Ross: Can you believe this? Were gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment!
Phoebe: She cancelled! My namesake cancelled on me!
Chandler: (sitting down on the couch) I-kea! This is comfortable.
Joey: Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Phoebe: well, this is, this is, this is not over! (on phone) Hello?
Joey: (to Chandler and Monica) Well, what is going on with you two?
Joey: Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met?
Rachel: Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool!
Tag: Right. So I guess I shouldnt put good at noticing stuff on my resume. (Sets the plant down on her desk.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Chandler: You must stop! (Chandler hits what he is working on with a hammer and it collapses.)
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Later on.
Ross: Yeah, Im missing out on all this other stuff, too. So, Joey suggested Rachel move in with me.
The Singing Man: Oh come on! Mornings here! (Starts singing) Mornings here! The morning is here! Sunshine is here!
Chandler: No, I realize that honey, but Im not gonna spend all of the money on one party.
Joey: Or maybe, its because youre hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. (Everybody gets up.)
Phoebe: Well then youd better hurry! The Angelica! Go! Go! (Bangs on the roof again and off they go.)
Ross: (on a yeah, right tone) Okay.
[Rachel hits some tom-toms and ends up on the 'crash'-cymbal, which is in fact a ride-cymbal, but whatever...]
Ross: Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy!
Rachel: (she's got that "yeah, try to say it" look on her face) Yes?
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy."
Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.
Joey: Oh, ha-ha-ha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time!
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony]
Chandler: Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it.
Joey: Ah, Gunther, I cant pay for this right now because Im not working, so Ive had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin for stuff.
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
Monica: How hard is it? No shoes on the furniture.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Janine are pretty much making out at one of the tables as Monica and Rachel look on from the couch.]
Amy is sitting on a chair by the bay window looking mad.
Rachel: Oh, come on Ross...
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
Mrs. Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.
Amy: Oh come on, that was 20 years ago. Get over it.
Rachel: Bring it on!
<They go back to fighting and then it really gets on>
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. Its good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, lets go out there and get em! Huh? And remember, there is no I in team.
Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
(Rachel nods.� There is a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar wearing huge dog-slippers]
JOEY: Hey!� Open the door.� What's going on?� (He knocks.)
CHANDLER: Look I, I can't.� What's going on?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
Rachel: Well that is because you have never been on a date with me before.
PHOEBE: Really?� You're moving on from Ross?
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
JOEY: What's going on?
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels I guess I have to call it that now. Rachel is reading on the couch as Ross enters.]
Chandler: The weirdest thing happened at the coffee house, I think, I think Phoebe was hitting on me.
[Tag Scene: Central Perk.� Phoebe and Mike are on the sofa.� Ross enters.]
CHANDLER: Braid each other's hair and ride horseback on the beach?
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
(Mike knocks on Ross's door.� Ross opens it.)
Monica: Come on Ben.
Wendy: So? I'm married. (Showing him the ring on her finger.)
Richard: on the rocks with a twist? I remember. (Goes to make her drink.)
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, were gonna put are hands in this bowl, and were gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
Monica: Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebes opinion on for Valentines Day.
Minister: (Looking and feeling awkward. he looks towards Emily.) Uhh...Shall I go on?