words in movies
Rachel: Hey! You remembered to put clothes on this morning.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
Ross: Bye! Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you.
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Joey: Yes, and they should name one of their kids Joey. I may not have kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name.
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!
(They sit down on the couch.)
Joey: Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies... And oh, oh, she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles?
Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
Monica: Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.
Steve: Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it. Bet that guy over there's probably saying, "ooh, why she out with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not!
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
Rachel (awkward chuckle): Now, come on, come on, Steve. There must be something that you like about yourself.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
(He walks over, but just before he knocks on the door, he hears some moans and looks shocked.)
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Ross: What's - what's going on?
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Ross: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
(He puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Monica (on phone): Hey, Rach, how's it going?
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Joey: Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.
(She walks over to Central Perk and enters to find Ross sitting on the couch, eating crab cakes. She takes off her coat while groaning and shuddering.)
(She holds up a black t-shirt with "FBI - Female Body Inspector" on the front.)
Joey: It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex.
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
PHOEBE: Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Monica: I was laughing. (Patting him on the knee.)
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! [a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross] Look at it!
Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list.
Joey: All right. Hey Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia Mae.
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Chandler: (Picking up a pillow.) Yeah, is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch?
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
Ross: Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate agent.) Here.
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. (they hug again)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Ross: Okay, come on! All right, I gotta go! So good luck at the party. Okay?
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
Chandler: Oh! (Puts his hand on her belly.) Shes growing inside you.
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
[Cut to later, the whole group is seated on the floor and Rachel is explaining the rules of Spin the Bottle.]
JOEY: Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody.
Monica: Yeah, I talked to you on the phone, Im the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed.
Rachel: (sympathetic) Ohh. So you raised her all on your own?
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Chandler: Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him. (She starts to take off her latex gloves.) Oh no-no-no, leave the gloves on.
Rachel: Hey Ross! Any word on the apartment yet?
Monica: Yeah! Thats why Im sleeping with him on the side.
RACHEL: Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
Ross: No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine.
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)
Ross: Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
Frank: Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Emily: But, we cant go now. It looks like Rachels gonna put on a skit.
Rachel: Uh-huh. (Ross takes off his coat and sets in on a chair.) Yknow what I was, I was thinking about?
Joey: Oh well, its not on TV yet.
The Dry Cleaner: Well, then its not on the wall yet.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Maybe I can try at intermission? Phoebe, come on... you know what? Let's just go!
Rachel: Monica, you should totally put your name down on the list
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Joey: Uh yeah, where-wheres the guy who decides whos pictures go up on the wall?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.]
Paul: So Lizzie, are-are-are you planning on staying the night?
Megan: Oh Im not, I just like to try these on.
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is returning, but before she enters the apartment she stops on the step and changes from wearing tennis shoes to the boots and she moans in pain as she puts each boot on.]
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
Estelle: Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. Youll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
Rachel: Well, I met Danny's sister yesterday, and uh that was actually the girl on the subway.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Paul: (whispering) Come on.
[The next flashback is also from The One With The Butt and it's also on the soundtrack. He's Joey telling everyone about his big break in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Joey: No-no! No, Im accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the TV to display it.)
Janice: No-no-no, no. I'm going to talk. I believe that the sun has set on our day in the sun.
Phoebe: Rachel, were sorry for pushing those guys on you.
Chandler: No-no! This is my fiancee (Phoebe) and her heart was set on that ring. You dont want to break her heart now do you?
[Scene: N.Y.U. Paleontology department, Ross is putting up the grades on the message board.]
Sarah: They are delicious (takes a few from the plate, puts one in her mouth and places the rest on her plate, then starts to reach over to Joey's platter again)
Ross: So youre strong enough to face her on your own?
Joey: Come on! Itll be fun! Me, you, and Ross, and Paul probably
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is sitting around the kitchen table. Rachel's credit cards are spread out on the table along with a pair of scissors.]
Monica: Oh, what a great gift! Is The Way You Look Tonight on it?!
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Rachel: Yeah. Oh I just wish we could not be married for a little bit! Yknow I just wish we could be like on a break!
Phoebe: So now whats going on here?
[Scene: The casino, Phoebe is playing on a slot machine. Suddenly the lurker sticks her head around the aisle of slot machines.]
Ross: Whats-whats going on?
Chandler: Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. That is very dad.
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
Ross: A ferry? My baby is going on a ferry? Do you have any idea how dangerous those are?!
Rachel: Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. (There's a knock on the door.) Maybe that's him. (Goes to answer the door.)
(Gunther gets this hurt expression on his face and goes into the back room)
Ross: Okay, break-ups still on!
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on couch and Rachel is getting some coffee. Phoebe keeps turning her head from to keep from looking at Rachel.]
Ross: Im so glad youre going on this trip!
Ross: Hey, you gotta get Mom on the phone. Call Mom! Call Mom!
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
Rachel: (on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, its perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!
Ross: Hey, come on in.
JOEY: I finally get a part on TV and the monkey's makin' movies.
Ross: Oh come on, not again.
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Rachel: Is there room on that step for a pathetic loser?
(Monica gets down on one knee.)
Mr. Thompson: Congratulations on your new boat, Joey Tribbiani!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are cuddling on the couch.]