words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches]
Joey: Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes.
Phoebe: (entering and talking on mobile phone) Ok, great! All right, bye! (she hangs up) Pain in the ass!! (she looks at the others, then back at the phone) That's off, right?
Rachel: Which you're not, because you've totally hung up on him!
Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.
Doctor Connelly: Above all, even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great, you never know! So, keep having sex on a regular basis.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Charlie on the couch. Rachel enters]
Chandler: (sitting down on the couch) Ok.
Joey: Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it!
(The shop assistant sprays the perfume on Phoebe's neck)
Charlie: (to Rachel) So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be?
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
Rachel: You know that depends on what it is! I've done a lot of stuff.
Phoebe: (goes back in) I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.
Stranger: And it is annoying when parents put their baby on the phone...
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is sitting on his bed and the phone rings]
Charlie: Oh! trying on clothes.
Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!
[Scene: Prof. Sherman's office. Sherman is still asleep on his chair, blocking the door.]
(Ross takes his suitcase and tries to get out but ends up falling on Prof. Sherman's laps, thereby waking him up)
Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting on the sofa, eating a cookie.]
Phoebe: You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room.
Chandler: My wife and I have some boundary issues, you know, sometimes we ask inappropriate questions. We're working on it.
Chandler: You wouldn't know if Jeanette's planning on keeping her baby, would ya?
Joey: Oh! Any word on casting yet?
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Joey: Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Ross: Damnit! I'll put a candle on the cake.
Rachel: Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. (Hands him the slip of paper with the phone number on it.)
Monica: Rachel! Im never gonna think its okay for you to cheat on your husband!
Ross: Oh come on!!
[Scene: Chandler's office. He's on the phone, agitated.]
Chandler: Hey, guys! Come on! You gotta see what Emma just did.
Joey: No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.
Rachel: Okay, no, that's not the right decision. That's not, that's not right, no Ross-Ross, come on! I mean, that woman made you miserable! Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that?
Joey: For one thing, the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
Benjamin: (puts his hand on Ross's other cheek) I'm sorry too...
(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)
Joey: What's going on?
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break as Lowell enters.]
[Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they’re ready to play]
Mike: that is so wrong and on top of that his a glue sniffer.
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the bad desert Ross is quickly eating the mound on his plate.]
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Joey: What's going on?
Laura: What's going on?
(cut to Joey on the other side, who finally leaves the door and goes to his apartment)
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
CHANDLER: Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
Monica: No! Listen, Im not gonna go through this with you again, okay. Just once I wanna beat when you cant blame it on the broken nose, the buzzer, or the fact that you thought you were getting mono. Lets just call this, tie score and its halftime.
Phoebe: Whoa!! Thatokay, thats a lot of pressure on me and my uterus. (to Dr. Zane) So, well okay, so is thereis maybe is there something that I can do yknow just to like help make sure I get pregnant?
Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous!
Rachel: That's because he's on your neck.
Phoebe: Oh you�ll probably take care of that on your hands.
Woman: You already hit on me an hour ago
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Joey: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand!
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Phoebe: And it looks like she put makeup on her!
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Chandler: Please let me stay on this side of the door.
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Joey: Yeah! Come on!
Chandler: Come on guys, PUSH!
(Rachel enters, checking the mail, then looks up and sees Gladys placed on the barcalounger.)
Chandler: What's going on?
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
Ross: Come on, she's gonna love you guys!
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
Rachel: No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there’s other stuff. Here’s a nice shirt, look at these nice pants...
Ross: Uh, actually these might look pretty good on me.
Ross: Come on, Im your older brother, ask me!
Chandler: You should be. You’re really on top of stuff..
Rachel: Oh! Really? Do you wanna try some of them on for me?
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Monica: (pointing to a picture on the table) I-Is... Is that a picture?
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey's on the couch when Ross walks to him, with his jacket closed.]
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
(Ross puts the piece back on the plate)
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Ross: What's going on?
Dr. Green: I think I may be able to book The Plaza on short notice.
Transcribed by: r3v3LaT1oN with corrections and additional information by Keith Owen
Ross: Maybe I should stand on your feet! (Gerts shocked and Ross realizes what he said and tries to brush it off.)
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
Ross: You put an offer on a house?
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Jen: Oh! My number is on there. (Hands him a business card.) Give me a call.
Cecilia: Oh yeah-yeah, we should get the (Pause) So when Jessica kisses a man, she usually puts umm, both her hands on the mans face. (She does so.)
Phoebe: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yes, Im the one who found your phone.
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Joey: (he has a turkey on his head) It's stuck!!!
ESTELLE: Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth?
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Phoebe: would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
(from 6.06 - "The One On The Last Night")
(Trying on a hat and talking to his own reflection in the mirror)
Conan: Now you guys work with animals a lot. You had to work early on with a monkey
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch. Monica and Joey enter.]
Mrs. Geller: Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, youve never been able to laugh at yourself.
Chandler: You know, our band is playing on Friday.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
Donny: You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go!
Phoebe: Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately and cannot seem to stop.)