words in movies
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
(She is wearing this giant straw hat, the brim on it must be at least, least foot wide.)
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
(They get inside and notice on small problem.)
Phoebe Sr: (on phone) Ah, oh, hang on a second. (to Phoebe) Come in, come in. (on phone) All right, so think about it, and call me back. (hangs up)
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Phoebe Sr: The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. (Phoebe notices a picture on the fridge, takes it, and puts it in her pocket.) Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way.
Joey: Come on! When you go away, you-you have to play, its like a law!
Rachel: Come on, please?! Im boredddd! You let me do it once before.
Rachel: Yes! (she starts creeping up on him)
Rachel: Oh, come on!
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
Joey: Fine. Gang up on me! I got you all right where I want you.
Phoebe: Come on, take em off!!
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
Rachel: Oh, come on!
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Rachel: Awww, stop. Come on. Now go shave that head!
Phoebe: She cancelled! My namesake cancelled on me!
Bonnie: Come on, touch it!
Rachel: Come on see, she doesnt look that bad.
(She throws her bag inside, and starts to climb through the window. She gets halfway in and the window slams shut on her butt.)
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
Chandler: There is not one hair on that head.
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Joey: So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, youre doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on.
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his knees.)
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is watching a rabbi play an electric guitar on TV. Phoebe enters.]
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
Ross: OK! Last night after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony.
Joey: On...?
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me. (Indicating a dish on the table) Why don't you try the hummus?
Rachel: Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and...
Joey: Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesnt get it?
CHANDLER: You're gonna put on sweats and clean, aren't you?
Rachel: Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
Gavin: What's Ross doing to you on that picture?
Gavin: So what if it was? I thought there was nothing going on between you two...
Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!
Ross: You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OKif you press that button, you are in very, very big trouble.
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
Ross: Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in.
Ross: Come on, man! Just-just take the sweats off. Okay? Just take em off and well have some fun.
Ross: Thats all youre basing this on?
Joey: Okay, I see what's going on here.
(Ross notices that Paolo is standing on a step, which makes him taller. Ross gets up on the same step so he can look down at Paolo.)
MONICA: (smiling) I arranged some pillows on the bed to look like a guy.
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song as the gang looks on.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy while Chandler and Rachel are taste testing and Joey is on the couch doodling.]
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
Rachel: Hey! You remembered to put clothes on this morning.
Amanda: Okay, well, my cell phone number is right here on the counter, please help yourself to anything in the fridge.
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
(They sit down on the couch.)
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Elizabeth: Yeah, we have time off and a lot of people are going on trips
Phoebe: Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music. Come on!
Ross: What's - what's going on?
Rachel: The whole night was horrible, it was pouring down rain, and when I got there, there was no Rachel Green on the list, but there was a Rachel Greep.
Monica (on phone): Hey, Rach, how's it going?
(He puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Rachel: Of course I packed! Monica relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe her opinion on what I should wear tonight.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Ross, and Chandler are watching Phoebe polish the daisies on her bike outside.]
Monica: Oh, then bring it on! Oh, unless of course your afraid you might lose to a bunch of girls.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch. Ross sits down.]
Joey: (covering his ears and yelling) Oh no! No! No! (He starts banging on the door.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
(He starts to carry her into the hallway but hits her head on the door.)
Joey: Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.
Ross: But come on! I mean living together will be great! I mean you guys have so much fun and you love Mike.
(He starts to put his pants on, but Rachel manages to drag him to the chair. When they get to the chair, Chandler drops his pants and knocks the chair away. Rachel then backs him up and locks him to the top drawer of a filing cabinet.)
Joey: (To himself) I am on fire!
Dr. Miller: 1 2 (She flinches on 2 this time.)
[Scene: Joeys Apartment, theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Ross.]
[Scene: Pauls Cabin, Paul and Rachel are sitting on the couch drinking wine and talking.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face)
Ross: You'd better hope not because I just read what you put on your page today.
GUNTHER: I used to be Bryce on All My Children.
Monica: (yelling after them) I cant believe youre gonna have sex on my engagement night!!
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
(Chandler hangs up and calls Monica who is reading a book on their sofa as the phone rings.)
Joey: Thank you. (He gets up and puts on his jacket.) (Phoebe enters) Hey Pheebs!
Rachel: Joey, come on!
(Someone knocks on the door)
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
Chandler: No, come on, you know that's not true.
Ross: Cassie, how you-how you doin on that hot dog.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.]
Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! Weve been on the road six hours and youve been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
[And with that we start off on a series of clips from the entire history of Ross and Rachel, from Rosss point of view. The first clip is from The Pilot.]
(someone knocks on the door)
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?
Chandler: Still on Amelia Earhart?
Phoebe: There is a speakerphone on the base unit...
Chandler: Guys! Guys! Come on! Its Thanksgiving, its not important who wins or loses. The important thing is, (to Joey) the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!!
Rachel: (to Monica)What's going on?
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
Ross: Ok, I've heard myself on tape and I sound nothing like that.
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
(Phoebe joins Chandler on the couch as there is a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch. Rachel is working.]
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
Monica: Come on, lottery!! (everybody cheers)
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
Rachel: Oh, honey, dont worry. She's gonna make it on time.
Rachel: Oh, Ive got big Valentines plans! Ive got my Chinese food on the way, and the rest of your saltwater taffy!
Ross: (calling Rachel) Come on!!
Monica: We are on a roll, people!!
Ross: Yes! Yes! I mean it's-it's kinda far from work, but uh, y'know, I'll get so much done on the commute. I-I've been given the gift of time!
ROSS: Too easy? Too...The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms, too easy?
Ross: She's gonna be a scientist! (kisses Rachel on the head, very moved)
Monica: (answering phone) Hello? Hold on. It's your boss.
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Dina: Loosening the saddle on mothers horse was brilliant Fredrick. And the electric fence, inspired.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello?(Listens) Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? (Listens) Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. (Listens) Really? (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Great... (Listens) Great... (Listens) All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! (Listens) Okay.. (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up and sits down heavily.) Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
Ross: Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge!