words in movies
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
(She is wearing this giant straw hat, the brim on it must be at least, least foot wide.)
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
(They get inside and notice on small problem.)
Phoebe Sr: (on phone) Ah, oh, hang on a second. (to Phoebe) Come in, come in. (on phone) All right, so think about it, and call me back. (hangs up)
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Phoebe Sr: The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. (Phoebe notices a picture on the fridge, takes it, and puts it in her pocket.) Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way.
Joey: Come on! When you go away, you-you have to play, its like a law!
Rachel: Come on, please?! Im boredddd! You let me do it once before.
Rachel: Yes! (she starts creeping up on him)
Rachel: Oh, come on!
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
Joey: Fine. Gang up on me! I got you all right where I want you.
Phoebe: Come on, take em off!!
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
Rachel: Oh, come on!
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Rachel: Awww, stop. Come on. Now go shave that head!
Phoebe: She cancelled! My namesake cancelled on me!
Bonnie: Come on, touch it!
Rachel: Come on see, she doesnt look that bad.
(She throws her bag inside, and starts to climb through the window. She gets halfway in and the window slams shut on her butt.)
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
Chandler: There is not one hair on that head.
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Joey: So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, youre doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on.
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his knees.)
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
Chandler: So they're going on dates? When?
Phoebe: Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people!
Ross: No, no. (Distractedly putting on a jacket to go out) I mean, it mighta been at first, but by now I, I think Im pretty comfortable with the whole situation.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler are making a pit stop on their party tour.]
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
(Ross goes into the room where Dr. Green is laying unconscious. He turns on the TV, puts his feet on the bed and starts watching a dinosaur movie where the dinosaur is caught by two cowboys. Dr. Geller awakes.)
[Scene: Ross walks into Central Perk, wearing a pink and white ladies shirt. Joey is on the couch]
[Scene: The waiting room, Frank is on the phone as Rachel approaches.]
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
Phoebe: Works on you.
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Rachel: Hello? Who are we spying on?
(Joey throws open his door and stands there still in the Superman costume then slowly makes his way to the bathroom while keeping both eyes on the cage.)
Danny: I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch.
Monica: (pulling on a robe) Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-I was um, I was taking a nap.
Ross: (on phone) Hello.
Emily: (on phone from London) Hello, Ross?
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.
Rachel: You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.)
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
Joey: Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table.
Ross: But-but, Liams on my team.
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Ross: Well, Emily's willing to work on the relationship.
Joey: (on phone) Hey Mon!
Joey: Hey come on now, this is a real date. Uh, so nice place you got here. Foosball, huh? Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy, my kind of woman.
Paul: I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year.
Stage Director: Back on in 30 seconds people!
ROSS: So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board?
Stage Director: We're on in 3, 2, (points to Gary Collins.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to hang up on Julie.]
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi Joey.
Issac: Chloe, switch with me, theres some guys here that got a crush on you.
Phoebe: Yeah, not the one I had my eye on.
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Chandler: Why is there jelly on your shoe?
Joanna: (on speaker phone) Im really sorry but I may be a little while longer.
Chandler: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?
Phoebe: Come on, play that funky music white boy.
Chandler: What's going on?
Kate: Yep! I sure know how to pick em, huh? Y'know I gave up a part on a soap for this!
Monica: Ooh, chocolates on the pillows! I love that!
Rachel: What's going on?
(Dan turns on the TV and the Happy Days theme song comes on.)
Chandler: Oh, come on! You've been acting strange all day!
(She kisses him on the cheek, and he kisses her back on the mouth.)
Monica: Thats okay, this is more important than fruit (pause) (angrily) on my ceiling! You broke up?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...?
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Mrs. Waltham: Oh, am I on the radio?
Ticket Agent: The last minute fare on this ticket is twenty seven hundred dollars.
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
(Emily spins the bottle and it lands on Joey.)
Ross: Touched. Used. Sat on. Sleep on.
Chandler: Youre coming on to the entire room! (He goes over to pick up a stack of magazines next to her, and to get her attention, he throws them back down.) Im Chandler.
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Phoebe: Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feelOh no! (Realizes that her deed made her happy and therefore it's selfish and covers her mouth in horror.)
Ross: What's going on?
MONICA: It's goin' great. Right on schedule. Got my little happy helpers.[everyone groans]
(Monica pats Joey on the shoulder.)
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Ross: Okay, okay. Ooooh, ooh maybe I rode in on a Harley.
Ross: Shes fine. She doesnt know youre gone. And she doesnt have to know, okay? Now come on, were going home.
Monica: That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!
Ross: (on phone) Hi.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Susie are making out on the couch.]
Rachel: No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
(Ross puts her on speakerphone.)
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder...
Ross: Come on. (Helps her into bed as her phone rings.) I got it.
Rachel: Monica, this is Dan (points to him), one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. (Mouths "He's yours." to her.) Uh Dan, Monica.
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Chandler knocks on the front door. Joey answers the door.]
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
(He punches her on her shoulder mockingly, then goes and sits down on her bed)
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is the show still on?
Larry: (notices something) I wonder how long that milk (on the counter) has been setting out.
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Rachel: Come on Joey, I just bought you a new chair! The most expensive one in the store! Hey, yknow what I was thinking? We could name her Francette.
Monica: Y'know what, I think we should play a game. I mean come on, its been twelve years.