words in movies
Ross: So, did he get on one knee, did he have a speech prepared, or (in a tender way) did he cry? (the guys look at him) Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals!
Chandler: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie is sitting on the couch and Ross enters.]
Joey: Oh! Any word on casting yet?
Joey: Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
[Scene: Interview room. Ross and two other professors (one man, one woman) are sitting on one side of a long desk. Benjamin Hobart is sitting on the other side]
Benjamin: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?
Ross: Oh come on!!
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters carrying the horrific 'painting' of Gladys. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Monica: (sounds desperate, knowing what Rachel is trying to do) I haven't really settled on a spot yet!
(Rachel enters, checking the mail, then looks up and sees Gladys placed on the barcalounger.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch.]
Benjamin: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
Charlie: Oh God! I am so sorry, but... (she puts her hand on Ross's cheek) I mean it's... there's so much history between us, you know...
Benjamin: (puts his hand on Ross's other cheek) I'm sorry too...
Chandler: (examining the hat) And the bunny got away. (Turns and starts looking for the bunny as Joey puts the hat on.)
[Scene: Casting Director #2s office, Joey is on his second audition. This one is for Purina One Dog Chow, an actual item. Please note the gratuitous product placement.]
Charlie: Oh! trying on clothes.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting on the sofa, eating a cookie.]
Chandler: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.
Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Monica: Yes! Maybe its a false positive. Are you sure you peed on the stick right?
David: (to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh?
Chandler: Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
Robert: Jeez, thank you really that is so nice. But um, to be honest, I dont think I can wear these, theyre so tight, I feel like Im on display. Im sorry.
Rachel: Hey! Hey what's going on?
Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave)
Chandler: (slaps him on the shoulder) Nice! (goes to Monica)
Phoebe: That's like the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Joey: Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus...
Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I cant believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
(The gang is now eaves dropping in on the conversation, and is shocked.)
Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road.
Rachel: What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?
PHOEBE: (calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me.� Listen, is um, is Ross near you?
(The camera zooms in on the clock on the wall and it reads a quarter after one. Time lapse. The clock now reads 3:30, and Phoebe is still giving Rick his massage.)
Phoebe: So long! Dont let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! (He exits and she slams the door behind him.)
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Chandler: Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him!
[Scene: Rachel's hotel room. She is watching the Weather Channel on TV.]
(Someone knocks on the door)
Rachel: Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips?
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah! Real fun. (She makes a decision.) Yknow, this bra Really, bothers me. (She starts taking off her bra.) Yknow, this used to be my bedroom. Yeah. A lot of memories in here, a lot of memories. If these walls could talk, yknow what theyd say? Wanna hear some memories? (She is now violently pulling on her bra in order to remove it, but it isnt co-operating.)
Joey: No-no-no! We gotta go! Come on! (Joey picks him up in a firemans carry and carries him out.) Here we go.
Ross: Yes, please! (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, what's going on?
Ross: Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!!
Chandler: Nope, nope, Id just ah, Id rather talk to you. (pause) Yes, I do. Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom. (knocks on the door)
[as they're walking off, little bully grabs Chandlers hat from behind and puts it on himself]
Chandler: You're on!
Joey: I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Monica: I'm on it!
Monica: (as Rachel) Remember back in freshman year? (Talking fast before Rachel can catch her) Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed.
Ross: (knocks on door) Rach, you there? (Joey and Rachel both get up from the bed)
Joey: Is that why you're on this trip, huh? Make me feel like a loser? 'Cause if it is, I'll tell ya, I-I-I'd rather be alone.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's room. Chandler is packing when Ross knocks on the door and enters...]
Monica: Rach, youre in a great place in your life. Come on, youve got a great job! Good friends
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are returning. Phoebe is still on hold.]
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
(there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens)
[Flashback, year 1987. Chandler enters the school's corridor. Ross is hanging some flyers on the wall. Both have a funny 80s hair and clothes.]
Chandler: (interrupting him) All this lying has been hard on us too.
[Scene: Mike's place. Phoebe is on the phone.]
Kori: You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you! (she leaves and slams the door behind her)
Chandler: She's cheating on Joey with Ross!
Joey: Come on! you... (reaches out to touch the imaginary painting again)
(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the phone, everyone else is there except Joey.]
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Phoebe: Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them!
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Rachel: Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on!
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?
Phoebe: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
Charlie: You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay?
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
Phoebe: But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me...
Joey: Now hold on a second, fifth floor against that back wall?
Ross: Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on.
[Scene:Central Perk. Ross and Chandler are on the couch]
Chandler: She went on one of those spray-on tan places.
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Assistant: Wow, you catch on quick.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Chandler: Hello? Is someone on the line?
[scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting on the couch]
Chandler: Hold on! There is something different.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
Chandler: And she's... turning on the TV... and watching... Miss Congeniality!
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Rachel: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.
Donny: Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. (Joey goes form looking very confident to looking very shocked the instant the word congress is said) Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go!
Rachel: Ill be right there! (to Ross) Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought weve gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me?
Jason: Yeah. I mean y'know, we havent been going out that long. Come on, we havent even slept together yet. Huh.
Chandler: Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call. I'm not used to getting it from guys. (on the phone, getting up from the sofa) Hey, Steve.
Ross: Do you perhaps seeing a note on top of it?
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)
Joey: come on, come on, search your brain all right. it was (thinks) a certain amount of time ago, I was here you were here, we had sex (starts pointing out the places) here, here, here NOT there. Anything?
Mike: I put that tube top on as a joke.
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Rachel: Okay Ross come on lets just forget about the condoms.
Rachel: Oh, well, (looks at her box and chair) you're not catching me on my best day.
Monica: I'm parked in a garage on Morton!
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
Chandler: I don't know! You'll tell us on Monday!
Dr. Long: Push. Push. Come on push for five seconds. 5 4
Joey: Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it.