words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Dr. Green: Oh come on! Dont be such a baby! (Goes after him)
Monica: Come on! Come on, itll be fun! Itll make me feel so much better.
Joey: (on cell phone) Im sorry I gotta cancel tonight baby
Dr. Green: I think I may be able to book The Plaza on short notice.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandlers bachelor party has begun, what there is of it, with only Joey (wearing a gold paper top hat) and Chandler (wearing what appears to be a Burger King paper crown) enjoying a nice product placement of Budweisers on ice.]
Joey: Look, look lets pretend its a real bachelor party. Okay? Yknow? Before your wedding. Come on, itll be fun.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Joey: Thats her! Okay, come on! (They go over and open the door.)
Chandler: Hi. (Joey blows on a noisemaker.)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross and Mona are sitting on the couch.]
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Dr. Green: So? Come on! Explain yourself Geller! First you get my Rachel pregnant!
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
Joey: I bet Ross was in on it too. I mean he was conveniently busy.
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
Chandler: Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what; from now on well make time to hang out with each other.
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Mona: How can I be sure on that?
Ross: Because whats going on with Rachel has nothing to do with how I feel about you.
Rachel: (entering) Forgot my purse! (Sees them kissing.) Oh, you guys made up. (To Mona) Hes a good kisser isnt he? (Ross goes to close the door on her.) Im going! (Quickly leaves and Ross locks the door.)
Chandler: Her ass print is still on your grandmothers quilt, do you really want to talk about smoking?
Monica: Yknow what? Im gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper (turns on the radio), and youre gonna get a stripper. (She starts to strip.)
Chandler: (puts on his crown) Carry on.
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Dr. Green: (on phone) just because youre not in love with the guy you cant
Rachel: Yes! (She gets up and sets the phone on the counter without hanging it up.) Bye daddy. (Phoebe and her leave.)
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Joey: (on phone) Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! (Listens) What gives you the right to (Listens) Go to hell! (Hangs up the phone and opens the fridge.) Stupid guy on my phone.
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
Phoebe: Based on this play? ...Based on this play!
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
Phoebe: Ok, good! (pause) You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this...(a pigeon swoops down, scaring Phoebe who drops the bowl on the street) Oh God, no! (pause) I think I broke your bowl.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, 3:02 A.M., Chandler is up. There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.]
Monica: Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.
Monica: Oh hey Joey! We've been watching all day, when are you gonna be on TV?
<Amy gets pissed and starts cutting food on the fancy plate very harshly, you can hear the silveware scraping the fancy plate>
Chandler: (banging on the bottle again) Okay, okay, a little announcement, I just want everyone to know that the position of my best man is still open! And uh, (to the stripper) so is the position of the bride.
Chandler: Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
Rachel: Ohh! This is so exciting! Oh God (Gasps and starts to sing) Come and knock on my door
Joey: (slow on the uptake) Oh my God!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Jill: (on phone) Hi Mom, it's Jill.
Chandler: (angry) Put Joey on the phone.
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
All: Come on.
Ross: Come on.
Phoebe: Yeah. Except for, y'know when youre on a date and youre getting along really great but the guys translator keeps getting in the way.
Monica: Joey, what's going on?
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
Rachel: And y'know what, Im gonna, Im gonna go to bed now, but ah, on my way to work tomorrow morning, Im gonna stop by around 8:30.
[Sequence 4: Ross hikes the ball to Chandler, and the camera pans down to show Rachel standing deep in the end zone, playing with her gum. Something hits her on the head and she looks up to see where it came from.]
Rachel: I think I'm gonna take off. (pats Ross on his back, but he looks very surprised)
Ross: I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical!
JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Chandler: I have no idea what's going on, but I am excited!
Joey: That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?
Joey: Well down at the adult video place down on Bleaker.
Rachel: ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Monica: OK, I'll go. OK, senior year of college... on a pool table.
(She kisses him on the cheek and looks over at the others.)
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
Joey: Oh, no, that's okay, I don't need your help. I worked on it myself and I gotta say, I am pretty good!
Joey: Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? (In a romantic voice) And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she...is... beautiful... (Rachel looks very moved) and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you (pauses, while looking at her with sentiment) but it was worth it just to be there looking at you.
Monica: Okay. Okay, Im ready. Come on big fella!
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! Its like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channies!!
Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.
(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)
[Scene: Erics Apartment, hes resting on the bed as Phoebe enters.]
MONICA: This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building.
Joey: (on phone) Hey dude, its me.
Dick Clark: (on TV) Hi, this is Dick Clark, live in Times Square. We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square...
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Monica: (panicked) The oven is on.
Joey: Yeah, three days on the lake without a shower. Plus! I fell in that big tub of worms at the bait stand! Hey, how-hows he doing?
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Ross: What? (the cat jumps on his shoulders) Ow!
(A monkey jumps on to his shoulder.)
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
Rachel: Phoebe, you're on.
Phoebe: (Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a raber dog would be feasting on your danglers RIGHT NOW!
Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes taking the hippity-hop to Ursulas apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.]
(He takes her hands in his and kisses each one, then kisses her on the lips. When the break the kiss, Rachel starts to get nauseous and throw up. Joey backs away in horror.)
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Chandler: Tonight, on a very special Blossom.
Phoebe: Um, were you planning on kissing me ever?
Judge: So based on your petition you are seeking an annulment on the grounds that Mr. Geller is mentally unstable.
Joey: Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.
Paul: Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh...
Rachel: (finishing the last of her drink) I am soo not going to do good on my SATs tomorrow.
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
[Scene: An Office Building, Chandler is on his interview.]
Rachel: Hi mum, put her back on!
Joey: OK. (Ross goes out on the balcony to talk to Rachel)
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
(The guy walks on)
Rachel: Oh, she's coming up! She's coming up! (Turns on the TV)
Phoebe: Hey hey hey! She's on!
Rachel: Hey Joey, will you please set this up for people to put Emma's presents on?
Guru Saj: It got caught on my watch.
[Scene: Rachel has gone off on her own to look for the cat's owner.]
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
Chandler: Well, why dont you check in one of my saddlebags while I chew on a bale of hay!
Ross: Come on. (She gets on the bike.) All right, here we go. All right? (They start.)
(...Then full on the mouth)
Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!
Joey: Why dont we just go on two.
[Scene: Joey's room: Joey is sitting on his bed reading DooL transcript when Rachel walks in]
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Monica: (Looking at the TV) You're not on TV.
Rachel: (on tape) I-I knowI had put them in in-in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today.
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.
Rachel: (Brings Marcel a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ross: So, what's going on now?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone in the kitchen.]
Kiki: And while we're on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)
Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone)
Rachel: Hello? Yes, she is, hold on a second, please. Monana, it's for you, the credit card people.
Rachel: Come on! I dont want you thinking of me like that any more!