words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Dr. Green: Oh come on! Dont be such a baby! (Goes after him)
Monica: Come on! Come on, itll be fun! Itll make me feel so much better.
Joey: (on cell phone) Im sorry I gotta cancel tonight baby
Dr. Green: I think I may be able to book The Plaza on short notice.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandlers bachelor party has begun, what there is of it, with only Joey (wearing a gold paper top hat) and Chandler (wearing what appears to be a Burger King paper crown) enjoying a nice product placement of Budweisers on ice.]
Joey: Look, look lets pretend its a real bachelor party. Okay? Yknow? Before your wedding. Come on, itll be fun.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Joey: Thats her! Okay, come on! (They go over and open the door.)
Chandler: Hi. (Joey blows on a noisemaker.)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross and Mona are sitting on the couch.]
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Dr. Green: So? Come on! Explain yourself Geller! First you get my Rachel pregnant!
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
Joey: I bet Ross was in on it too. I mean he was conveniently busy.
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
Chandler: Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what; from now on well make time to hang out with each other.
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Mona: How can I be sure on that?
Ross: Because whats going on with Rachel has nothing to do with how I feel about you.
Rachel: (entering) Forgot my purse! (Sees them kissing.) Oh, you guys made up. (To Mona) Hes a good kisser isnt he? (Ross goes to close the door on her.) Im going! (Quickly leaves and Ross locks the door.)
Chandler: Her ass print is still on your grandmothers quilt, do you really want to talk about smoking?
Monica: Yknow what? Im gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper (turns on the radio), and youre gonna get a stripper. (She starts to strip.)
Chandler: (puts on his crown) Carry on.
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Dr. Green: (on phone) just because youre not in love with the guy you cant
Rachel: Yes! (She gets up and sets the phone on the counter without hanging it up.) Bye daddy. (Phoebe and her leave.)
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Joey: (on phone) Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! (Listens) What gives you the right to (Listens) Go to hell! (Hangs up the phone and opens the fridge.) Stupid guy on my phone.
Frank: Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!
Rachel: He was right there. He got down on one knee and proposed.
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you cant tell me last night didnt mean something to you. I-I was there, youre not that good an actress.
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Okay, baseball. Rick, playing baseball. Okay, slides into second, maybe even his pants come down a little Oh nowait no, no! No! Okay, all right, sandwiches, sandwiches. Umm, okay, on a plate, maybe Ricks pants come down a little. No! No! Okay, Chandler! Okay Chandler, ooh, thats working.
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
ROSS: No, Rach, come on. Rach! Rach, no, no! She's not Rachel, she is, she is not, Ra--Rachel?
Chandler: Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain.
Phoebe: (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out.
Julie: We're on this bus, that's easily 200 years old...
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Steve: Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it. Bet that guy over there's probably saying, "ooh, why she out with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not!
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
[Scene: Monicas childhood bedroom (which has been turned into a gym), Monica is lying on the treadmill as Phoebe enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean theyre probably not even listening!
Monica: Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!
Chandler: Because it says "Captain Ross" on the side and "I hate Monica" on the bottom.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.]
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
Monica: No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what theyll say this year? "God, you"
Rachel: I am not gonna get fired, because Im not gonna act on it.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
(They all throw their pieces back as there is a knock on the door.)
Monica: Well, that's it (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch?
Ross: I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Ross: Come on sweetie! Youve had to work late every night for the past two weeks, what is it this time?
Monica: All right, sweetie that's fine. You didn't do it on purpose.
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
Rachel: Ohh, you can say. Come on, I dont want you to feel like you cant tell me things. (Motions for him to sit down.)
(Phoebe's bear takes the lead, followed by Joey's robot, and far behind is Chandler and Monica's dog, which walks a few paces, stops and starts barking, sits, walks again, and so on... )
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.
Ross (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan.
PHOEBE: No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!
Phoebe: Um-hmm, thats good to know. But lets stop focusing on what you dont do, and start focusing on what you do do.
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
(Rachel turns and looks at the group on the couch and they move over. Chandler measures the room theyve made with his arm and decides its not enough and they all move over again.)
Woman On Train: Were at my stop. But would you like to have coffee?
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
[Time lapse. They are now in Monica's bedroom, on the bed.]
(The camera zooms in on Rachel who has a very worried and frightened look on her face and she slowly takes a deep breath.)
Chandler: All right buddy, way to go! (smacks him on the butt)
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
ROSS: Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
Rachel: Or maybe you would see me looking embarrassed because you are talking on the phone with your crotch!
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Hey, can you send somebody up and down 76 and check every rest stop, and, and also 93? (listens) Okay! (hangs up) Yeah, no they dont do that.
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Chandler: Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Phoebe: Regular Celery! (Starts to write that on her list) Oh, I already have that. (She gets up and heads for her room)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Monica: Did you not hear where my head was? Come on! Come on were a team! Were in this together!
(They start to fight with Ross pulling on Chandlers ears and Chandler hitting Ross over the head with his carrot.)
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into Joeys chest.) Joey theres a girl on the phone for you.
Chandler: Oh, it doesnt matter. (Kisses her on the top of her head.) Hey, yknow what, Ive got two tickets to tonights Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
Emeril: (on TV.) Now maybe you just like wanna but the whole duck in there! Who cares, y'know? Now I got the legs
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
Phoebe: Hell yeah! Ill marry you! (She grabs the ring and puts it on.)
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
RICHARD: Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.
Chandler: Like finding money with naked people on it!
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Ross: I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15.
Rachel: I did, Monica was so sweet she left a little mint on my pillow.
Joey: Sure, neighbor come on in.
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
MONICA: Ok, everybody, there's food and drinks on the table. Go across the hall.
Chandler: Oh great, food with hair on it.
Ross: Really? Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Chandler: Wow! (To the sock bunny still on his hand.) You are way to young to have seen that!
Ross: You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day?
Dr. Harad: All right. Keep pushing! Come on!
Wayne: I-I-I saw you on stage talking to that beautiful woman, yknow Sarah?
Julie: Hi, but I'm not here, you haven't met me. I'll make a much better first impression tomorrow when I don't have 20 hours of cab and plane on me.
Ross: Hey, I know whatll get us up on a platform!
Phoebe: Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together (takes the bowl from Ross and puts it on the table)
CHANDLER: Hey, come on, we got the gift, the concert, and the cake.
Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?
Monica: Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!
CHAN: Woah, woah, I've put on a little weight?
Janice: (holding the full cup) No, no, I'm still working on mine.
Mike: You never told me about that guy on your sweet sixteen. Oh, ugh. I'm sorry about that.
Chandler: Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?
Fireman #2: No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom. Its looks like a curling iron.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
[Scene: Ross's bedroom. Rachel is putting on her shoes as Ross shows up from underneath the covers.]
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Joey: Ohh-oh, wasnt he cheating on you with her?
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Chandler: I didn't get to the bathroom. I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted. And there's a slight chance I may have told him.
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.