words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Dr. Green: Oh come on! Dont be such a baby! (Goes after him)
Monica: Come on! Come on, itll be fun! Itll make me feel so much better.
Joey: (on cell phone) Im sorry I gotta cancel tonight baby
Dr. Green: I think I may be able to book The Plaza on short notice.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandlers bachelor party has begun, what there is of it, with only Joey (wearing a gold paper top hat) and Chandler (wearing what appears to be a Burger King paper crown) enjoying a nice product placement of Budweisers on ice.]
Joey: Look, look lets pretend its a real bachelor party. Okay? Yknow? Before your wedding. Come on, itll be fun.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Joey: Thats her! Okay, come on! (They go over and open the door.)
Chandler: Hi. (Joey blows on a noisemaker.)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross and Mona are sitting on the couch.]
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Dr. Green: So? Come on! Explain yourself Geller! First you get my Rachel pregnant!
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
Joey: I bet Ross was in on it too. I mean he was conveniently busy.
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
Chandler: Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what; from now on well make time to hang out with each other.
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Mona: How can I be sure on that?
Ross: Because whats going on with Rachel has nothing to do with how I feel about you.
Rachel: (entering) Forgot my purse! (Sees them kissing.) Oh, you guys made up. (To Mona) Hes a good kisser isnt he? (Ross goes to close the door on her.) Im going! (Quickly leaves and Ross locks the door.)
Chandler: Her ass print is still on your grandmothers quilt, do you really want to talk about smoking?
Monica: Yknow what? Im gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper (turns on the radio), and youre gonna get a stripper. (She starts to strip.)
Chandler: (puts on his crown) Carry on.
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Dr. Green: (on phone) just because youre not in love with the guy you cant
Rachel: Yes! (She gets up and sets the phone on the counter without hanging it up.) Bye daddy. (Phoebe and her leave.)
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Joey: (on phone) Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! (Listens) What gives you the right to (Listens) Go to hell! (Hangs up the phone and opens the fridge.) Stupid guy on my phone.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Ross: (on the phone) No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. (Listens) No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Come on! I really need your help!
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
(Theres a knock on the door.)
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) Im an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)
Joey: Pheebs, you gotta stop this, I working on commission here.
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
The Museum Official: (on machine) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Chandler: That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!
Marc: I am so sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam.
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
JOEY: Maybe he, uhh... drives his car on the other side of the road, if ya know what I mean.
Ross: Come on, who are we kidding? Im doody. Please? Shes watchin.
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Monica: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Monica: What about your breath?! (Breathes on him.)
Phoebe: No, I know what a silent is I meant, whats going on with your hair?
Phoebe: Yeah. Youre just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever. Youre like Ed McMahon except without the big check, or the raw sexual magnetism.
Brenda: Whats going on?!
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
[Scene: At a writer's desk. The writer is working on a script for Days of Our Lives.]
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Phoebe: Hey! (Jumps on the bed with him.) Can we pick up where we left off?
Emily: Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends.
Ross: and thats the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising lifes triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago.
Brenda: I think I know whats going on here.
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Monica: Oh my God! Joey, what did you do after you threw her leg on the fire?
Rachel: (looking through her wallet.) Ohh, I just dont think I have enough left on my credit card.
(Monica gets down on one knee.)
Ben: Cause you guys were on a break.
Joey: You know youve been spitting on me?!
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
[Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.]
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
(Theres a knock on the door and a handsome man enters.)
Ross: Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you?
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
Chandler: Oh come on!
(Matt grabs his plate and takes some of whats on Rosss plate.)
Phoebe: Good. (After he leaves, she puts on Joey's gladiator helmet and checks herself out in the mirror) I should really start wearing hats!
Monica: Phoebe! Come on Im serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
Monica: Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again)
Rachel: Look, um, I think we should talk about what happened on the terrace.
Phoebe: Oh, come on Will! Just take off your shirt and tell us!
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Danny: Come on, you got the shopping bags and the Sack's catalog.
Phoebe: (on intercom) Hey, do you need to get in? Here you go.
Will: Hold on! You got her pregnant?
(Joey goes to get coffee and Rachel exits as the camera pans to Phoebe and Ross on the couch.)
Monica: Fine! If you want me to wear the boots, Ill wear the boots. In fact, Ill go into my room right now and yknow try the outfit on.
Joey: No just, nobody press on my stomach.
Chandler: Whats going on?
Chandler: Hop on.
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Chandler: Honey, I know youre in pain right now, but Im a little turned on.
(Ross gets all excited and starts to dance on the coffee table, but slips allmost immediatly, and falls onto the couch. Rachel wakes up.)
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Director: (on phone)...Dammit, hire the girl! (He hangs up the phone.) Okay, everybody ready?
Joey: Oh yeah? (Puts the hat on.) If youre gonna make me choose between you and the hat? I choose the hat.
Erica: You're kidding me? I mean, it's enough that you are a doctor. But on top of it, you're married to a reverend?
Ross: I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was?
Monica: Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)
Rachel: Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santas lap.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Ross: I dont think charging new clothes too your dad qualifies as making it on your own.
Joey: Really? Think about it. Come on! You're a beautiful woman, smart, funny, we had a really good time, huh? If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you?
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
(Rachel goes to the fridge, opens it, and blows on the whistle Monica gave her at the store, which causes Phoebe and Monica to turn around and look at her.)
Rachel: Okay, even this is turning me on!
(Joey lies down on the gurney.)
Joey: (With a confused look on his face.) What?
Doug: Whats going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
Ross: Oh great, I live on the street.
Phoebe: Okay. (The gang is giggles then Phoebe gets the bike out of the rack, gets on, pushes off, rolls a few feet, and falls over.) See?
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Yeah, and it really freaked me out! And after a while I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on.
Rachel: What?! Joey, you dont want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Ross: Oh-oh-ooh, hey guys, I was wondering if you guys would uh, maybe chip in on some new air filters for the air purifier? I mean after all, we all are using it.
Chandler: You can wear them with shorts on a street corner and earn the money to pay for them. (Goes and gets some coffee at the counter.)