words in movies
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
Phoebe: Ooh! That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Chandler: That's good one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is find a planeload of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
Joey: Well, y'know those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love it would be great if one of those was true.
(She puts her hands over her breasts and indicates that the coworkers boob job resulted in one pointing up and one pointing down with her hands by pointing up with one hand and down with the other.)
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Joey: Hey, Pheebs! Check-check this out. (Holds up his hand in one of Phoebe's chords.)
Phoebe: Then don't touch one!!
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
(No one says anything.)
(He shifts on the couch and a ripping sound emanates from his lower regions, the sound reminds one of a brief explosion of gas. In other words, it sounds like he farted. She has a look of horrific wonderment, wondering "Did he just fart?")
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
(Monica gets down on one knee.)
Joey: Yeah, thats one naked hooker!
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
Monica: The pink one with the flowers?!
Phoebe: Please, dont play the music. Just uh one more. LIVE FROM NEW YORK! ITS SATURDAY NIGHT!!
Phoebe: Ill run out and get you one.
PHOEBE: Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. [Chandler jumps out of the car]
Kim: So it's down to these two, Nancy I know you like this one and I think I agree. Rachel, what do you think?
Joey: Man, this is bad! And Ive had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one though. (Quoting) "Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."
Rachel: Oh, yknow what you should get em? One of those little uh, portable CD players.
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
Ross: Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See I, I am so not ready to be a father.
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
Bitsy: Oh, please darling, let's be honest. You can have all the... sailor fun you want with that one, but... let's be real...
The Teacher: Are you with one of the students?
Prospective nanny: Oh, you know, wait. I do have one question. (she starts playing with her hair) Do you guys do random drug testing?
Chandler: I can see it from right here. Itll cost you one husband.
Phoebe: Yeah, it's weird. I can't help it though he's so sweet, he's like this little puppy dog, y'know? But like a really tough one that shots bad guys. Ohh, I just love beginning parts of relationships, y'know?! You just like can't keep your hands off each other.
Joey: One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay.
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
(Phoebe reaches into the trash can, pulls one out, and hands it to Rachel.)
Phoebe: You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. (The woman calls her bluff.) (Screaming at no one in particular) Backup! Backup!!
Chandler: Oh thats all right sir, and thats just one girl.
Phoebe: No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now.
Monica: Or this one! (She grabs and starts to open the biggest present.)
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Joey: Alright, so so tell me one of your moves.
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someones cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
Customer: It is beautiful, but Im gonna use this one. Now, if youll excuse me.
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Chandler: One more score to go! You can do it! (Touches her shoulder.)
Rachel: I don't know. The left one.
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives?
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Rachel: Third one from the left?
Phoebe: I dont know, I dont know, I dont know. You know, I mean, on the one hand, Mother may I? But yknow on the other hand No. No, I cant. Were friends. No, oh, no. I dont want to risk what we have.
Chandler: Yeah. Well, I think our second fight is going to be a big one!
Rachel: (looking down) Oh-oh!! One hand on the sheet Joe!
The Stripper: Okay, which one of you guys is Gunther Central-Perk? (Sees Joey.) Hey, Joey?
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
Joey: Then why do you throw like one?
The One With The Birthing Video
Ross: (quietly) The red one.
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Joey: And Chandler I cant believe I let you pay for this one. (They hug and he whispers in his ear.) Thanks man.
Ross: (stops) I justyknowI-I just have oneRachel?!
Rachel: Wow that was a big one.
Joey: Oh okay, okay! One more push! One more push! Come on honey, were almost there! Were almost there!
Rachel: Yeah, that was a real good one.
Phoebe: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
Chandler: Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. (Phoebe walks in.)
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Will: 150 pounds. Yeah, Im gonna be in one of those Subway sandwich commercials.
Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.
Monica: I'll get it. (On phone.) Hello. (Listens.) Hi Emily! (Listens.) Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. (She hands the phone to Ross.)
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
Rachel: I know. (They hug.) Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, Im gettin something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair?
Parker: Ah! Oysters! Let me feed you one.
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Phoebe: Why dont you just try one?
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Phoebe: But, lets play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses!
Joey: Well, there are so many things, its hard to pick just one.
Rachel: Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?!
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
Grandma Tribbiani: No, it's Sam Waterston! Crimes and Misdemeanors, Capricorn One.
Monica: Okay. Okay, I got one. Do you remember that vegetarian pate that I made that you loved so much?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Joey: One.
Tag: Wait! I think I see where youre going, but before you say anything else, can I just say one more thing? (Kisses her.)
Monica: Hey wait a minute, this one isnt dirty.
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
Joey: Hey, youre the one that loves the picture.
[The next one is from Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In.]
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
Ross: (on phone) Yeah Ill press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.)
[The next one is from Episode 605: The One With Joey's Porsche.]
Rachel: No one! They are my friends, I wouldnt punch any of them.
Joey: This one right here. (Ross whines.)
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Joey: (makes a sound like a monkey) That noise can only me one thing.
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Phoebe: Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys.
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Chandler: 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.
Phoebe: One hundred thousand dollars!
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.