words in movies
[This starts a series of flashbacks; the first one is from Episode 106: The One With The Butt, Joey is in a play called Freud!.]
[The next one is from Episode 304: The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel, Joey is on Amazing Discoveries.]
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Joey: Well, there are so many things, its hard to pick just one.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
[The next one is from Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In.]
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Joey: One.
[Another set of flashbacks begin with Episode 521: The One With The Ball, Joey and Ross are throwing a ball around.]
[The next one is from Episode 604: The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance.]
[The next one is from Episode 609: The One Where Ross Got High, Rachel is describing her desert to Joey and Ross.]
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
[The next one is from Episode 711: The One With All the Cheesecakes.]
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
[The next one is from Episode 401: The One With The Jellyfish, where Monica, Joey, and Chandler are relating that tragic day they spent on the beach.]
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
[The next one is from Episode 712: The One Where Theyre Up All Night, Joey and Ross are deciding how to climb down the final part of the fire escape.]
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
[The next one is from Episode 706: The One With The Nap Partners.]
[Another series of flashbacks begins with Episode 413: The One With Rachels Crush, Joey is telling Rachel and Phoebe how he picks up women.]
[The next one is from Episode 605: The One With Joey's Porsche.]
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
Joey: Hey, youre the one that loves the picture.
Phoebe: Embryossss? As in, "More than one?"
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Ross: I went thru this with Ben and Carol. One cup of coffee won't affect your milk.
Joey: Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?
Monica: No! No, no... wait! We didn't lose. (turns to Chandler) The rules clearly stated that the last one to cross the finish line was the loser. Well, our dog never crossed the finish line, so technically...
Monica: Yeah, but Im the only one related by blood.
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
Rachel: Well, there is one thing that we havent tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Ross) "That will open up a can of worms."
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
JOEY: I don't know, I was kinda hopin' no one would ever find out.
Monica: Nobody cares about the Dakotas. (Thats true in so many ways, trust me, Ive lived in one and been to the other.)
Ross: So, did he get on one knee, did he have a speech prepared, or (in a tender way) did he cry? (the guys look at him) Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals!
Chandler: Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends.
(Ross gets up and starts to hop on one leg.)
(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either ones arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)
Julie: Oh honey, I think Im having one too!
Joey: What about me, he? Only had one lunch today.
Phoebe: One really does have a stick up one�s ass. Doesn�t one?
Rachel: I mean what if this keeps happening? Y'know, they'll-they'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions and I'll just be up in my office breathing my stupid clean air, y'know? And then when the day comes when Kim wants to promote one of us, who do you think she's gonna pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?
Joey: One guest? You told me I can have six tickets!
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Rachel: Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool!
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Ross is passed out on the kitchen counter. He wakes up with a start and has one of the pages of the letter stuck to his face.]
Chandler: So.. let me get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me?
Phoebe: No thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I cant see him.
Chandler: Well, why dont you check in one of my saddlebags while I chew on a bale of hay!
Ursula: Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm.
Rachel: Well, you're the one who wants to fire him, so you're gonna have to do it. (Ross walks to the living room determined to fire Sandy)
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Melanie: I don't know, I-I guess I just had you pegged as one of those guys who're always 'me, me, me.' But you... you're a giver. You're like the most generous man I ever met. I mean... you're practically a woman.
Monica: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping.
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
MIKE: Ah?� (pause)� Do you have one here?
MONICA: Because. . .� one of them is for you.
Monica: One!
[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Phoebe: Could you-could you umm, give us one second?
Kate: Yes. Are you one of the retarded cousins?
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
[The next flashback is from The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line. He's telling Joey that he kissed Cathy.]
913 - The One Where Monica Sings
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Gavin: One of the best, ma'am, one of the best...
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Monica: Two guys in one night? Wow, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed.
JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.
Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.
Phoebe: You know, now you're more like, you know like, "Mr. Caring Boss," "Mr.", you know, "I'm one of you, Boss," "Mr., I wanna be your buddy, Boss Man Bing!"
Dr. Long: taking a long walk, and then theres the one thats proved most effective: sex.
Joey: Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Chandler: Please, one ridiculous problem at a time!
Phoebe: Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!!
Ross: Like uh yknow like this! This! (He picks up one of those art projects that kids make in kindergarten and first grade.) She-she couldve made this!
Rachel: Yeah, I think she wants the old one back.
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Phoebe: One, two, three!
Ross: Oh, we have one too!!
Chandler: (looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?
Joey: Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right?
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, which one is Bonnie again?
Bobby: Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.
Joey: Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we are shooting tomorrow...
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Phoebe: Well its justits one of those situations that I just hate. Yknow? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum.
Ross: No. It's the one he's licking.
Joey/Drake: Oh, what about this one.
Chandler: Honey, isnt it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Rachel: No, one of them...
Monica: Which one?
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
Ross: Oh, ha, I wrote that in one minute.
Joey: (speaking aloud) Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one!
Chandler: It kills over one americans every year.
Phoebe: I-I'm sorry it wasn't one of those movies with, like, y'know, guns and bombs and, like, buses going really fast...
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
[The next clip is from The One With The Jellyfish.]
[The next clip is the second famous fight in The One Where Ross and Rachel Take A Break.]
Joey: Which one, they all suck!
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
Monica: Gotcha sailor. (Kicks one of her shoes off and it lands in the kitchen knocking something down, but she continues to strip.)
Monica: Wait-wait!! Okay, stop it! Stop it! Stop! (Breaks it up.) Now listen, no ones gonna fight in this apartment.
Man: (being joined by the rest of the barbershop quartet) One, two, three...
Ross: Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didnt actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. (Apollo 8 was the first one that orbited the moon and the one that read the Christmas Story from the orbit of the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968. They also took the famous Earthrise picture of the Earth rising over the moon.)
Chandler: (yelling from the changing room) All right! I found one that fits!
Phoebe: Yeah and I-I found you one too who is not a weirdo.
[Scene: The Fertility Clinic; Chandler walks out one of the rooms]
BIG BULLY: Don't do that to yourself. Any one of us could have tripped over that little girls jump-rope.
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Joey: Hey, here you go. (Hands her another one.)