words in movies
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue... [Scene: Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]
Ross: He finally asked you out?
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day.
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Chandler: Stay out of my freezer! [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.]
Paul: Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh...
Monica: What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles?
Monica: (spitting out her drink in shock) Oh God, oh God, I am sorry... I am so sorry...
Ross: Y'know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman out,... who am I gonna ask? (He gazes out of the window.)
[Cut to Rachel staring out of her window.]
Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry. (Burst into song and dances out of the door.) "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."
Phoebe: Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is sitting around the kitchen table. Rachel's credit cards are spread out on the table along with a pair of scissors.]
Rachel: No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready? "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?" Come on, I can't do this!
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor here- but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
(Ross storms out.)
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
Ross: (pause) Not on the ones we sent out.
Ross: I have been working out.
Rachel: Have you been working out?
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is putting out some Sunflower seeds as Rachel enters.]
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Chandler: I dont know, Monica picked out the flowers.
Monica: All right. The super couldnt figure out what it did. A $200 an hour electrician couldnt figure out what it did. Ive had seven pretty serious shocks. I officially give up.
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasnt clear! Im really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? Theres absolutely no rush.
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
[Monica pulls out a bag full of airline bottles of liquor.]
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, I see what he's doing! He's not asking me out, because he wants me to ask him out.
Marsha: He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Amy: um... listen, I couldn't help but overhear... 'cause I was trying to... Listen, let me do this alright? I really wanna help you guys out, and plus Rachel's been so wonderful to me... (looks at hem pleadingly)
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Rachel: we went back the house and we got really silly and we we made out.
Zack: No it's just tiring having to figure out the age at which all my grandparents died. I'll see you tomorrow.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, dont you have to decide who your best man is gonna be?
Monica: Naaaa... He still kills me. Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear... a little pee came out.
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Michelle: Thank you so much for letting me do this. Public bathrooms freak me out, I can't even pee, let alone doanything else.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.
[Scene: Erics Apartment, he and Phoebe are still making out.]
Eric: I dont know, Im still pretty tired out from this afternoon.
Phoebe: Wow! I cannot believe Mark asked you out.
Joey: Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin good. When do I get to take that baby out again?
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
(They both slowly enter the bedroom and quickly walk back out.)
Phoebe: No dont tear out your eyes!!
Rachel: (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I wasnt supposed to put beef in the trifle!
Rachel: Its still(Screams)Its got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here!!
(Monica runs out.)
Joey: No, I-I miss hanging out with you.
Chandler: Well we we still hang out.
Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out)
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Where's Monica?
[Time lapse, Monica has joined in and is calling to get out of work.]
Phoebe: Good. (After he leaves, she puts on Joey's gladiator helmet and checks herself out in the mirror) I should really start wearing hats!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Rachel: So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.
Will: You went out with her?! We had a pact!
Phoebe: Yeah I bet! Look out! (Phoebe punches Theodore right in the stomach)
Rachel: Oh! (Hits him and storms out.)
Joey: No, its okay, but if Im Marge, my breasts are coming out my back.
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Chandler: (crying hysterically) I just dont see why those two cant work things out!
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!
Joey: But youre still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. (Shows him the paper.)
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
(Ross runs out to get the tickets.)
(He goes out into the hall and re-enters with a bike exactly like the one Phoebe described earlier.)
Joey: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?
Ross: Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.
Ross: I think it means he freaked out and left!
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.
Phoebe: The Police? Here? A reunion?! (She gets out her camera.)
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
Monica: And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And youre writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you," and you still cant shed one tiny tear, I know youll be crying a river inside.
Joey: Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.
Phoebe: Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time...
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Mike: Wanna get out of here?
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
Rachel: Listen, yknow what? I was really freaked out too when I found out
Chandler: Just out of curiosity did she tell you how youre gonna go?
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Amy: Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.
Chandler: (coming out from behind the door) I KNEW IT!!!!
Chandler: Okay, here you go. (He deals out two cards each.) I have two queens, what do you have?
Joey: Why dont I take you out?
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
Chandler: Youd think that would embarrass me, but you see Im maxed out.
Joey: Fine! (Pause) Now, whered we land on those pancakes? (She chases him out the door as his date emerges from the bathroom.)
Monica: Well you-you did start that rumor about Ross making out with Mrs. Altman, our 50-year-old librarian.
Frank: Wait, y'know what, I-I came to you because I thought youd understand! Oh no!! Y'know, I would storm out of here right now if-if I had some money, or a place to go
Kim: Forget it Rachel! We're both so proud of how well you're doing. I'm not gonna let you blow it. In fact, if I catch you with a cigarette, you're fired. So go on, get out of here! Go on, I don't want you breathing this stuff! Go on!
JOEY: Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him (runs out)
Joey: Oh my God! You did too? It totally freaked me out, what was that?!
Joey: Oh uh, it didnt work out.
ROSS: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
Phoebe: Hey, are you going to find out the sex of the baby?
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
Joey: No-no-no! We gotta go! Come on! (Joey picks him up in a firemans carry and carries him out.) Here we go.
Monica: You know what? I-I think Ill wait out here.
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
(Monica runs out to Phoebe, who is in the kitchen)
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Monica: I just thought that if I could follow the wire I could find out what it did.
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.