words in movies
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
(They storm out into the street.)
(Phoebe and Joey run back out and head towards the street.)
(Rachel agrees with him and starts to get out of bed.)
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Phoebe: Yes you do! This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much youre probably gonna marry it! Then it wont work out and youre gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy. (Pause) Im so drunk.
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the cars still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.]
Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! Its right next to it!
{Note: Does anyone else want to smack Ross right about now? Raise your hands. Okay, put them down before you stink out the person next to you.}
Chandler: Well, I told you not to walk. Here. (Picks her up.) There. Okay. (He opens the door, carries her across the threshold, stops, backs out, and lets go of Monica who is only holding on by his neck.)
Hitchhiker: All right, see ya Pheebs. (Gets out and Phoebe drives away.)
Chandler: Jeez, relax! Its not like were mar-ah-ah!! (Runs out.)
Monica: Heres your key. All right, you have to christen it! Now, go out and come back in!
Chandler: The door hasnt been locked in five years, but okay! (Runs out.) Ready?!
Monica: Wait! Oh my God! I cant get out!
Joey: I can fix it. Hold on. (He goes and gets a screwdriver from his apartment) Look out. Look out. (Pries at the door a little bit.)
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Phoebe: (shocked) Youve never asked a guy out?!!
CHANDLER: Guys guys, check this out.
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I cant figure this out! Its so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or aah-ah! Paper cut!
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
(The single light flickers and goes out. Leaving the room in total darkness.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
Monica: Umm, listen I am sorry, but Ill put some out first thing in the morning.
Cynthia: No, we just went out.
Monica: We got out pictures back from London. (Shows her one.) Here's all of us at the Tower of London.
Cynthia: God, this was really fun! I've been wondering if you were going to ask me out.
Ross: (whispering in her ear) Oh, thats right! He called to ask out Monica! That-thats gotta be embarrassing!
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
Ross: (in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)
Monica: Well, I want he baby to come out all cute and fat!
Joey: All right, all right. (he comes out from their apartment with a huge sandwich in his hand)
(They wait for Joey to go into his room and close the door and then start making out again.)
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
Phoebe: Wait, you can't take the money out.
(The man starts to take some change out.)
Ross: (To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Rachel: So did I. I'm really glad Monica asked us out.
Rachel: (Running to the ticket counter) Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. (Slightly out of breath) Hi.
tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)
Joey: Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)
Chandler: Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Joey: Monica and Rachel made out. (Giggles like a schoolboy and Monica glares at him.)
Joey: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
[The next clip is from The One Where Ross Finds Out.]
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Chandler: Okay! Now you stay out here, and you think about what you did!!
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
(Joey busts out laughing.)
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
(The wool-bound trio returns to the table. Rachel has to rush ahead to avoid becoming tangled. Joey brings the shopping bag over to Phoebe, and takes out a nice cardigan.)
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Chandler: Oh come on!! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: Oh, fine! Take his side! (Storms out.)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Gavin: You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be arodeo clown.
(Monica picks up one of those boxes of hair curling things, dumps it in a box, and storms out.)
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
MNCA: Oh, he's sober alright. Just turns out that Fun Bobby was fun for a reason.
Monica: All right, check me out.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Okay, Im sorry. (Runs out still carrying the pizza box.)
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
Joey: Nooo, later. (Walks out the door.)
Chandler: Just coffee! Where are we gonna hang out now?
Melissa: Im sorry Ray-ray. I mean if I thought it happened I would say it. Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping.
Ross: Just, y'know out.
Rachel: Ohh, out, oh God, I don't know why we didn't think to check there!
Chandler: Okay y'know what, because you said that, I'm not putting out tonight.
Ross: Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)
(Rachel decides not to confront them and starts to walk out, knocking over a lamp in the process.)
Dina: Do you ever worry that youll be walking and your baby will just like slip out?
Ross: Oh, we were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions.
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry. (Burst into song and dances out of the door.) "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."
Phoebe: Okay. Okay. IOkay umm this I-I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you. Umm yknow, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than Im coming off right now.
Joey: Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, "Oh thats okay. Youll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you!
Ross: So Im thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week.
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Monica: No. You know, sometimes just things doesn't work out.
Rachel: Phoebe just found out about Monica and Chandler.
Frank: Yeah, yknow when we found out we were going to have a baby, yknow I figured yknow like I should yknow have like a careerand I love refrigerators!
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Ross: I did not freak out.
Joey: Well (taking his cell phone out of a pocket) I’m wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this.
(Ross is shocked, but Rachel drags him out of the office.)
JOEY: Well why don't you just reach out and take his trampoline.
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Chandler: Pheebs! (He goes over and kisses Phoebe, who is also stunned.) Always a pleasure. (And he struts out leaving the girls to stare at each other.)
Monica: No! You are not gonna run out and leave her here!
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Rachel: No! That's OK! That's OK! That's OK! No no no no! This is my business associate Gavin. He's just being silly.Gavin come out from behind that curtain!
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
All: Yeah, get out! Now!
Rachel: Theres been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that Im not free tonight. So
(Chandler goes out into the hall and lights up a cigarette.)
Monica: Because! You could get to live out my fantasy!
Phoebe: How could it not be? I mean pretty soon theyre gonna be having kids, and then theyre just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe theyre gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.
(They go out to the elevators.)
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Rachel: (To Ross) Fine! (To the salesman) We went out.
(Rachel pushes on the couch and pushes Ross out the door.)