words in movies
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
(They storm out into the street.)
(Phoebe and Joey run back out and head towards the street.)
(Rachel agrees with him and starts to get out of bed.)
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Phoebe: Yes you do! This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much youre probably gonna marry it! Then it wont work out and youre gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy. (Pause) Im so drunk.
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the cars still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.]
Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! Its right next to it!
{Note: Does anyone else want to smack Ross right about now? Raise your hands. Okay, put them down before you stink out the person next to you.}
Chandler: Well, I told you not to walk. Here. (Picks her up.) There. Okay. (He opens the door, carries her across the threshold, stops, backs out, and lets go of Monica who is only holding on by his neck.)
Hitchhiker: All right, see ya Pheebs. (Gets out and Phoebe drives away.)
Chandler: Jeez, relax! Its not like were mar-ah-ah!! (Runs out.)
Monica: Heres your key. All right, you have to christen it! Now, go out and come back in!
Chandler: The door hasnt been locked in five years, but okay! (Runs out.) Ready?!
Monica: Wait! Oh my God! I cant get out!
Joey: I can fix it. Hold on. (He goes and gets a screwdriver from his apartment) Look out. Look out. (Pries at the door a little bit.)
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, I see what he's doing! He's not asking me out, because he wants me to ask him out.
Marsha: He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Amy: um... listen, I couldn't help but overhear... 'cause I was trying to... Listen, let me do this alright? I really wanna help you guys out, and plus Rachel's been so wonderful to me... (looks at hem pleadingly)
Phoebe: No they ran out of "Its a girl" but I can fix this one, (She writes "not" in between its and a) See?
Rachel: we went back the house and we got really silly and we we made out.
Zack: No it's just tiring having to figure out the age at which all my grandparents died. I'll see you tomorrow.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, dont you have to decide who your best man is gonna be?
Monica: Naaaa... He still kills me. Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear... a little pee came out.
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Michelle: Thank you so much for letting me do this. Public bathrooms freak me out, I can't even pee, let alone doanything else.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.
[Scene: Erics Apartment, he and Phoebe are still making out.]
Eric: I dont know, Im still pretty tired out from this afternoon.
Phoebe: Wow! I cannot believe Mark asked you out.
Joey: Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin good. When do I get to take that baby out again?
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
(They both slowly enter the bedroom and quickly walk back out.)
Phoebe: No dont tear out your eyes!!
Rachel: (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I wasnt supposed to put beef in the trifle!
Rachel: Its still(Screams)Its got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here!!
(Monica runs out.)
Joey: No, I-I miss hanging out with you.
Chandler: Well we we still hang out.
Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out)
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Where's Monica?
[Time lapse, Monica has joined in and is calling to get out of work.]
Phoebe: Good. (After he leaves, she puts on Joey's gladiator helmet and checks herself out in the mirror) I should really start wearing hats!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Rachel: So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.
Will: You went out with her?! We had a pact!
Phoebe: Yeah I bet! Look out! (Phoebe punches Theodore right in the stomach)
Rachel: Oh! (Hits him and storms out.)
Joey: No, its okay, but if Im Marge, my breasts are coming out my back.
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Chandler: (crying hysterically) I just dont see why those two cant work things out!
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!
Joey: But youre still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. (Shows him the paper.)
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
(Ross runs out to get the tickets.)
(He goes out into the hall and re-enters with a bike exactly like the one Phoebe described earlier.)
Joey: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?
Ross: Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.
Ross: I think it means he freaked out and left!
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.
Phoebe: The Police? Here? A reunion?! (She gets out her camera.)
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
Monica: And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And youre writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you," and you still cant shed one tiny tear, I know youll be crying a river inside.
Joey: Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.
Phoebe: Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time...
Ross: Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.
Mike: Wanna get out of here?
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
Rachel: Listen, yknow what? I was really freaked out too when I found out
Chandler: Just out of curiosity did she tell you how youre gonna go?
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Amy: Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.
Chandler: (coming out from behind the door) I KNEW IT!!!!
Chandler: Okay, here you go. (He deals out two cards each.) I have two queens, what do you have?
Joey: Why dont I take you out?
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
Chandler: Youd think that would embarrass me, but you see Im maxed out.
Joey: Fine! (Pause) Now, whered we land on those pancakes? (She chases him out the door as his date emerges from the bathroom.)
Monica: Well you-you did start that rumor about Ross making out with Mrs. Altman, our 50-year-old librarian.
Frank: Wait, y'know what, I-I came to you because I thought youd understand! Oh no!! Y'know, I would storm out of here right now if-if I had some money, or a place to go
Kim: Forget it Rachel! We're both so proud of how well you're doing. I'm not gonna let you blow it. In fact, if I catch you with a cigarette, you're fired. So go on, get out of here! Go on, I don't want you breathing this stuff! Go on!
JOEY: Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him (runs out)
Joey: Oh my God! You did too? It totally freaked me out, what was that?!
Joey: Oh uh, it didnt work out.
ROSS: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
Phoebe: Hey, are you going to find out the sex of the baby?
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
Joey: No-no-no! We gotta go! Come on! (Joey picks him up in a firemans carry and carries him out.) Here we go.
Monica: You know what? I-I think Ill wait out here.
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
Monica: I just thought that if I could follow the wire I could find out what it did.
(Monica runs out to Phoebe, who is in the kitchen)
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Phoebe: So do you want to hang out or something?
Chandler: (walks away from window) OK, that's enough of the view. Check this out, look at this. Sit down, sit down.
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Rachel: Are you asking me to move out? Do you not want me here?
ROSS: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! (turns around, and under his breath, to the rest of the guys) Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good.
Rachel: (entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Phoebe: (after he's gone) I am so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. I didn't mean to be so out there. I am furious with him!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
<Ross comes out of the bedrooms>
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, The Halloween party has started. Monica is setting out some food as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: Okay Ross has the cameras, has he checked out yet?