words in movies
Monica: (not wanting to be left out, picks up something) Hey umm, whats this?
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Chandler: (opening the bathroom door and kicking out the chick and duck) Would you give me one minute!! Please.
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
Mr. Waltham: I think youll like it, it has two out of the three tenors.
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Ross: He hasnt gotten out of that chair in two days.
(Chandler imitates retching and gets out of the chair.)
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
Rachel: Theres been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that Im not free tonight. So
Emily: Good night, it was very nice to meet you all. (Storms out.)
Joey: (running from his bedroom) Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here!
Ross: Ive gotta go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! (He hangs up and runs out.)
Rachel: Oh, yknow, would you just for once, not remember every little thing!! (Storms out.)
(Just then, Charlton Heston walks out of his dressing room and starts eating a liquorice whip.)
Phoebe: Oh, no umm, hi, that-that, you have to put that out, cause Im pregnant.
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
Charlton Heston: I dont know one actor worth his salt that didnt say at one time or another, "God, I stink!" Hell, I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up. But, the important thing you must remember, no matter how badly you think you might stink, you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?!
Chandler: I know, I know, but youre gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over.
Joey: look I don't usually ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses
(Charlie comes out the bathroom)
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Joey: Wha...? You're gonna go now? I thought we could hang out?
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Mike: Yeah look, about tomorrow, I... I've got a question for ya. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't make it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching a basketball game, Ross is staring out the peephole.]
Joey: Of course you do! I saved him! You're mad at me! It all adds up! You want Ross out of the picture.
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Ross: Get out! (Chandler runs out)
[Scene: The hallway, continued from earlier. Monica is still locked out.]
(Jeanette walks out)
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Monica: The sun is out!
Phoebe: Well, we don't n-n-n-n-need a fireman, we'd, we'd like a good mechanic. (hears the sound of approaching sirens) Oh my God, here they come! Well, we gotta get out of here!
Pete: Im sorry things didnt work out...
Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun!
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm out.
Phoebe: So long! Dont let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! (He exits and she slams the door behind him.)
Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. (Walks out and slams the door.)
Monica: Best out of three?
Ross: Get Out!
Joey: oh why don't you fly out there and surprise him.
Jill: Cant have?! Excuse me, the only thing I cant have is dairy! (Starts to storm out.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is getting out linens for Cassie who is in the bathroom.]
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
MONICA: I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves [pulls Rachel's gloves out of her purse]
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Ross: And you know I wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her.
Rachel: Get out!
(They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door)
Rachel: Sorry, I just uhm... I can't seem to get Ross out of my head...
Monica: Check it out!
[Scene: Rachels outer office, Tag has finished searching his desk and Rachel comes out to try to plant the folder on the desk.]
Joey: What youdont hold it like that! Youre lettin all the good stuff fall out.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Joey: Come on! you... (reaches out to touch the imaginary painting again)
Phoebe: Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?
Joey: Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out..
Ross: Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
Phoebe: Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them!
RACHEL: I didn't know you guys hung out.
Phoebe: Wow, Frank. I think we just ran out of kids.
Kate: You know what I mean. I mean like the sweetest guy. Joey, youre just so, youre so, so (She passes out and slumps against his shoulder.)
[Chandler and Monica head out with some stuff. Phoebe comes out of her room with a bag.]
Phoebe: Still, he had to find out sometime.
Phoebe: Ugh, Let's just cut her out!
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny.� I've been, ah, practicing the art of seduction myself.� (He raises his hands in front of himself, sticks out his behind, and wiggles it.)� Hi ya.
Gary: Okay. And don't worry, I'm not just gonna take you out for donuts.
Joey: So you're ruling out surrogacy?
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Jason: Yeah. I mean y'know, we havent been going out that long. Come on, we havent even slept together yet. Huh.
Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip shed heard all year.
(phone starts ringing and Chandler comes running out of the bathroom)
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Ross: Oh wow! I mean, wow! I mean, I-I-I think shes cute but I-I would never have thought of going out with her, never!
(She hangs up the phone and starts to head back to the kitchen and notices some money lying out, stops, reaches down to pick it up, the phone rings causing her to drop it, she quickly puts it back, and heads for the kitchen.)
Monica: No! no! Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying.
Joey: Wh? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when huh what? Thurs(He gasps in horror.) Oh! (Runs out and Chandler just shakes his head. After a second Joey runs back in to grab a piece of pizza and runs back out.)
Rachel: No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is!
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Joey: Yeah!Hey, you just have to promise not to get yourself thrown out again.
(Joey comes out from his room, yawning)
Joey: You slept out here?
Amy: Ella wanted to go out, so we went shopping and got some sushi.
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Chandler: Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? (Does his work laugh.) (To Monica) Please let them win!
Chandler: Yeah, well, I miss the tip! It's the best part. It has the nail. (He storms out.)
[Scene: Another Waiting Room, Phoebe and Joey are trying to find out where the guy with the broken leg is.]
Amy: You're kicking me out?
Chandler: C'mon, we're roommates! (He goes into the bathroom, screams, and runs back out.) My eyes!! My eyes!!
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
JOEY: Thanks.� (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall.� Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.)� Here's your ticket.
Ross: No, no, really. You should go. Just go! Go! Go out! Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up the heels. Paint the town red. (Slang right?)
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
Chandler: No, the babys out! Look, look!
(Joey comes out of his room)
Mike: Okay. Do you think maybe sometime I could take you out?
Ross: (Yelling) Get out! (Benjamin leaves)
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
Ross: Oh, that's OK. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there.
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
MONICA: Really? Weird. Anyway, see, I planned everything really well. I planned and I planned and I planned. It just turns out, I don't think I planned enough time to actually do it.
(She goes out into the hall and when shes there and the door is closed; she rips off her robe to reveal her work clothes.)
Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David!
Rachel: Ross, c'mon, please. Can we just get out of here, before somebody else gets hurt?
Chandler: Oh yeah! Okay, lets play again. (He deals out two cards each again.) What do you got?
Joey: Ugh, I cannot wait to ask her out!
Rachel: Irrational, huh? All right, well, I’ll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
(Rachel comes out of her apartment}
Joey: Yknow what? Why dont you just give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here?
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
Ross: (Reading the note) We know you're out there. (Rachel gasps)
Assistant: Yeah, but you're back's a zero. You're gonna wanna even that out.