words in movies
Monica: (not wanting to be left out, picks up something) Hey umm, whats this?
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Chandler: (opening the bathroom door and kicking out the chick and duck) Would you give me one minute!! Please.
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
Mr. Waltham: I think youll like it, it has two out of the three tenors.
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Ross: He hasnt gotten out of that chair in two days.
(Chandler imitates retching and gets out of the chair.)
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
Rachel: Theres been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that Im not free tonight. So
Emily: Good night, it was very nice to meet you all. (Storms out.)
Joey: (running from his bedroom) Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here!
Ross: Ive gotta go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! (He hangs up and runs out.)
Rachel: Oh, yknow, would you just for once, not remember every little thing!! (Storms out.)
(Just then, Charlton Heston walks out of his dressing room and starts eating a liquorice whip.)
Phoebe: Oh, no umm, hi, that-that, you have to put that out, cause Im pregnant.
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
Charlton Heston: I dont know one actor worth his salt that didnt say at one time or another, "God, I stink!" Hell, I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up. But, the important thing you must remember, no matter how badly you think you might stink, you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?!
Chandler: I know, I know, but youre gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over.
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Monica: Yeah, he used to have this recurring nightmare, just really freaked him out.
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Rachel: Did you get all this stuff for Joey to try and drive me out of the apartment? Honey, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just gotten him a fish, you know how fish freaked me out!
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
[Cut to later, all except Chandler are staring out the window at Ugly Naked Guy.]
Joey: (dejected) Yeah, all right. (Thinks of something.) Ooh! (He quickly runs out before anyone can stop him.)
Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, time lapse, Ross is massaging out a cramp on Rachels hip as Marc opens up the privacy screen.]
Janice: I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)
Ross: (walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable) Okay dad.
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Frank: Its out there man! Ive seen it! I got it!!
(He finds a shoebox (out of shot), pulls it down and opens it. It is full of Sweet 'n' Lo's.)
[Scene: Nana's Bedroom, Ross is holding a dress out from inside the closet.]
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
Monica: Because it would totally freak him out and tomorrow's our anniversary. I just don't want anything to spoil that.
Monica: Okay, knock yourself out, Larry.
Phoebe: Hey! So I had a great day, Rick and I really hit it off, and we started making out, and then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore.
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
Chandler: Hey Mon, I think I figured out whose handcuffs they are.
JOEY: Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma and then we make out.
(Rachel grins as Ross removes the girlie jacket, grabs his own, and rushes out.)
Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married today!! Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.)
Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?
(He gets up to walk out, but Helena spots and stops him.)
(Chandler decides to help out.)
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
This is a special out takes episode. The cast and Conan are sitting around the set of Central Perk, talking about the stuff weve never seen.
Emily: Ross, they are killing you out there!
Joey: No! No! No! You guys were totally right! This is so much better than the first time we went out. Yknow? That was so awkward, we were really nervous.
Monica: Oh no-no-no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke is out of town. The-the on-call doctor will see me now.
Monica: You're not gonna be phased out!
Rachel: Its okay. Sometimes, things dont work out the way youd thought they would.
(Rachel goes into her room and closes the door. Which allows Monica to let Chandler out of her room.)
Ross: So Rach, maybe you and I could fly out together Saturday.
Chandler: Goin out, huh? Wow! Wow! (Does a little celebration dance) So things didnt work out with Kathy, huh? Bummer.
The Security Guard: Okay lady, you're out of here.
Pete: Yeah, a slice of cheesecake and-and a date if youre given em out.
Ross: No, no. (Distractedly putting on a jacket to go out) I mean, it mighta been at first, but by now I, I think Im pretty comfortable with the whole situation.
Ross: Hey, do you guys think that if all those things happened, wed still hang out?
Phoebe: Im-Im just saying, dont freak out until youre a hundred percent sure.
(Two other men are rolling the big white dog out of the apartment.)
(They pick up the couch and after throwing off the last pillow; Rachel helps out on Chandler's end.)
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
Ross: Hey, I hear she's single again, d'you think I should ask her out?
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Rachel: Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
Ross: Ok, ok. I'm gonna come out to Long Island with you, I mean, you can't be alone right now.
[Scene: The Medical Research office, Joey is there with Carl in the waiting room. Two identical twins come out and both wave by at the same time.]
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?
Pete: One meal! Thats all Im asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you dont have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even.
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
(Rachel mumbles uh-huh and spits the half-eaten cookie out onto the tissue.)
Joey: Check it out!! Jam crackers!
Phoebe: No, uhm... David and I did use to go out... but years ago, and he lives in Minsk. He's only... he's only in town for a couple of days.
Chandler: Okay, let me just straighten out your helmet there. (Does so.)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Ross: Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. (He holds the phone to the fake Ben he has created out of a pumpkin.) Oh, I guess he doesnt feel like talking right now. Hes smiling though! Okay, talk to you later.
Rachel: Ross Im so sorry. Okay. I-I will promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person, or via e-mail.
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Monica: I don't know! Why don't you just explain? What do they want? Find out what they want!
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
Monica: Im checking out the restaurant with Pete.
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is still trying to talk Earl out of suicide.]
Joey: Oh, I-I think Im gonna stick with the V, I wanna see how this bad boy turns out.
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Monica: Thanks. Like, check out my new catering stuff. (Picks up two frying pans) Look at this! I'm an omelet station! Omelet? Made to order!
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Receptionist: Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient, he should be out shortly.
Chandler: Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often.
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
Joey: She didn't have a birthday while we were going out.
Monica: No, he didn't! He pretended to be a Quaker to get out of Korea.
(Joey comes out of the bathroom reading a newspaper)
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Rachel: Oh honey, thank you, but Mark's taking me out.
Monica: Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.
Phoebe: Ugh, okay, I have an enormous crush on you. But because youre a client, I cant ask you out, even though you give me yknow, the feeling.
MONICA: MEG was good for me but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down.
Joey: (going out with the VCR in his hand) Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!
Steve: Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it. Bet that guy over there's probably saying, "ooh, why she out with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not!
Rachel: Oh my God youre amazing! Did you just pull that out of her purse?
Ross: Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! (Emily starts to run out and Ross chases her.) No! No! Emily!
Rachel: You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf!
Ross: I dont know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
RACHEL: Yeah, when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, and God, I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here, you know I shouldn't, people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time.
(They kiss. Ross walks away, and then fades out.)
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Ross: Hey uh Mon, I saw the Porsche parked out front, can I get the keys? Thought Id take that bad boy out for a little spin.
Phoebe: No. I'm sorry. It's just 'cause I couldn't be there. 'Cause all I ever get to do now is pregnant stuff, it just bums me out.
Phoebe: I think he's right. You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much.