words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Ben are sitting on the couch bored out of their minds.]
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Rachel: Well yknow, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, wed jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so theyd put salt on their cereal.
Monica: Hexadrin. (She gets the box out of her purse.)
Phoebe: Oh, I love you Hexadrin! (She kisses the box.) Oh look! It comes with a story! (She pulls out the instructions and side affects paper.)
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
(They run to the bed, sit down, and start making out again.)
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. (Walks out and slams the door.)
Rachel: I gotta go! (Runs out.)
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
Rachel: No you guys (She walks out into the hallway.)
(Joey, whose new diet is working out great, he looks like he only weighs 375 down from 420 enters from the bedroom.)
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?
Monica: (spitting out her drink in shock) Oh God, oh God, I am sorry... I am so sorry...
Ross: Aw, we-we are so (Motions that theyre connected.) So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, yknow hanging out with you. And I mean-Im having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might be more, but decides there isnt.)
Monica: What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles?
Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check)
Ross: So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even.
Chandler: I know it. You know, I'm totally gonna ask her out.
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. (She grabs the skull, pulls out a stick of licorice, and takes a bite.)
Chandler: See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law & Order and that you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area!
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Chandler: I saw you checking me out during the game last night.
Danny: Okay, see ya. (Heads out.)
Chandler: (Comes out of his room) What? What?
GRANDMOTHER: Esther Livingston. [scratches out name] Gone.
(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
Monica: Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see you!
Mike: I just think there's somebody better out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me.
Rachel: Ohh, my new assistant is working out, yes.
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
(Rachel comes out.)
Joey: Thats right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Monica: Rach, come see who's out here!
MONICA: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Chandler: I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know what I want to do. I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.
ROSS: Is there blood coming out of my ears?
Chandler: Who are you going out with?
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
Monica: Just go up to her and ask her out. (Chandler laughs) Oh, what's the worst thing that could happen?
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
Chandler: He pulled a quarter out of my ear!
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he still in love with her?
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Rachel: Yeah, y'know I-I think I'm just gonna hang out in my room.
Monica: I'd rather hang out with a sniveling work weasel guy when I can be hanging out with my boyfriend who I actually respect.
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
(He does the ancient trick of going downstairs while behind the couch. As soon as he's out of sight, Emma starts crying.)
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Monica: Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out.
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
Rachel: Oh..Go..Oh..and I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate me even more. Phoebe!!
Joey: Out.
Rachel: Oh, yknow, would you just for once, not remember every little thing!! (Storms out.)
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
Joey: Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV)
RACH: Closure, that's what it is. Closure. [she looks around the restaurant, spotting a guy with a cellular phone] Hello, excuse me. Excuse me, hel. . . woo [she almost falls out of her chair]
Jennifer: Shes trying to intrigue us to hang out with her.
Joey: Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does.
Monica: Uh, you left out the stupid part.
Chandler: Im not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Monica: (interrupting) You have nothing! You're not even going out! You're her baby sitter! You have a 12-year-old girl's job!
Roy: You know, actually that's not a bad idea. I can do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind.
Rachel: Oh please, theyve been going out a week. They havent even slept together yet, I mean, thats not serious.
Monica: Oh-my-god Rachel! (Rushing out to look over the edge) Rachel!
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Chandler is entering with his credit card and Phoebe is holding out another ring for him.]
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
Monica: Because hell know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear thats dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, youre a genius!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Monica: All right, come on guys, lets go! Tie score, and were runnin out of time. Forty-two!! Thirty-eight!! Hike! (the timer sounds as Monica throws the ball to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Most likely. (raises and goes toward the door) Okay, I'm gonna be out there.
(Rachel points out of the window.)
[Scene: Out in the hall, the firemen are talking.]
Phoebe: Okay! (Runs that way and hears another whistle blast.) Hey! (Heads the other way and hears another blast.) What do I do?!! (She runs in the second direction and finds that the whistling is coming from inside a rack. She moves the dresses out of the way to find Rachel curled up in a fetal position frantically blowing on the whistle.) What are you doing? (Rachel doesnt stop.) Did you find the dress? (Rachel wont stop so Phoebe pinches her nose shut which causes her to spit the whistle out.)
(She sees Monica sneaking out) Okay, thank you very much, I'm gonna take a short break! (Runs out, knocking over the mike stand)
Chandler: And monkeys cant write out prescriptions.
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
Chandler: You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?
Phoebe: Yeah. Um... I'm out. (throws in cards)
Phoebe: Monica, in or out?
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
Ross: (sarcastically) Oh Great! After I finish my wine I'm going to blow my... eh. average-sized brains out.
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Paul: Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh...
Joey: Hey! Im an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! Im not sure. I think theyre taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Rachel: I think shes checking out your beehive Ross.
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
[Scene: The Janitors Closet, Chandler and Monica are trying to figure out what to do now.]
Male Jeweler: Okay. (Holds out the ring, deadpan.) Will you marry me?
Chandler: Weirder than watching his two moms make out? (Monica nods in agreement.)
Joey: Wow! Uh okay, well uh (He gets up, opens a drawer, and pulls out the ring.)
PHOEBE: Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. [Chandler jumps out of the car]
Ross: Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Rachel: Turned out it was a hat.
(He hops onto the bed and they start making out.)
Chandler: Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room.
Jill: All right, Im leaving! Because Im not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. Thats you Rachel!
Rachel: Oh thank you! (Wiping her nose.) Oh God! (She throws it out.) Can I have another one?