words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Ben are sitting on the couch bored out of their minds.]
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Rachel: Well yknow, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, wed jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so theyd put salt on their cereal.
Monica: Hexadrin. (She gets the box out of her purse.)
Phoebe: Oh, I love you Hexadrin! (She kisses the box.) Oh look! It comes with a story! (She pulls out the instructions and side affects paper.)
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
(They run to the bed, sit down, and start making out again.)
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. (Walks out and slams the door.)
Rachel: I gotta go! (Runs out.)
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
Rachel: No you guys (She walks out into the hallway.)
(Joey, whose new diet is working out great, he looks like he only weighs 375 down from 420 enters from the bedroom.)
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Gavin: You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be arodeo clown.
(Monica picks up one of those boxes of hair curling things, dumps it in a box, and storms out.)
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
MNCA: Oh, he's sober alright. Just turns out that Fun Bobby was fun for a reason.
Monica: All right, check me out.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Okay, Im sorry. (Runs out still carrying the pizza box.)
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
Joey: Nooo, later. (Walks out the door.)
Chandler: Just coffee! Where are we gonna hang out now?
Melissa: Im sorry Ray-ray. I mean if I thought it happened I would say it. Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping.
Ross: Just, y'know out.
Rachel: Ohh, out, oh God, I don't know why we didn't think to check there!
Chandler: Okay y'know what, because you said that, I'm not putting out tonight.
Ross: Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)
(Rachel decides not to confront them and starts to walk out, knocking over a lamp in the process.)
Dina: Do you ever worry that youll be walking and your baby will just like slip out?
Ross: Oh, we were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions.
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry. (Burst into song and dances out of the door.) "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."
Phoebe: Okay. Okay. IOkay umm this I-I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you. Umm yknow, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than Im coming off right now.
Joey: Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, "Oh thats okay. Youll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you!
Ross: So Im thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week.
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Monica: No. You know, sometimes just things doesn't work out.
Rachel: Phoebe just found out about Monica and Chandler.
Frank: Yeah, yknow when we found out we were going to have a baby, yknow I figured yknow like I should yknow have like a careerand I love refrigerators!
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Ross: I did not freak out.
Joey: Well (taking his cell phone out of a pocket) I’m wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this.
(Ross is shocked, but Rachel drags him out of the office.)
JOEY: Well why don't you just reach out and take his trampoline.
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Chandler: Pheebs! (He goes over and kisses Phoebe, who is also stunned.) Always a pleasure. (And he struts out leaving the girls to stare at each other.)
Monica: No! You are not gonna run out and leave her here!
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Rachel: No! That's OK! That's OK! That's OK! No no no no! This is my business associate Gavin. He's just being silly.Gavin come out from behind that curtain!
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
All: Yeah, get out! Now!
Rachel: Theres been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that Im not free tonight. So
(Chandler goes out into the hall and lights up a cigarette.)
Monica: Because! You could get to live out my fantasy!
Phoebe: How could it not be? I mean pretty soon theyre gonna be having kids, and then theyre just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe theyre gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.
(They go out to the elevators.)
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Rachel: (To Ross) Fine! (To the salesman) We went out.
(Rachel pushes on the couch and pushes Ross out the door.)
Chandler: Ahhhhh! (walks out, imitating shooting himself in the head)
Ross: Oh yeah, we're uh, yeah we're not together. (He starts backing out of the store.)
[they pull out the box of condoms but there's only one left]
Doug: Now get on out of here, you! (smacks him on the butt)
Ross: No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. Its how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Phoebe: Wow! I didn't see that coming! You're-you're asking me out!
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, I'd like to go out with you officer
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Ross: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)
Ross: I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt!
Phoebe: Well, same thing we did all day, hang out at Gary's apartment. He is so amazing, we never left the bedroom. But have fun at the movie.
Ross: No, I cant get it out.
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Monica: Yeah. I think you have to draw him out. And then- when you do- he's a preppy animal.
Phoebe: Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries...
(They all start out.)
Chandler: Y'know what I just realized? You just freaked out about our relationship.
Joey: (Jumping out of his way) See ya!! (To the girls.) What the hell was that?!
Chandler: Y'know, I uh.. just thought I'd throw this out here. I'm no math whiz, but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here. (Makes kiss noise)
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Kim: Yeah. That didn't work out.
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
(As they approach the door, Chandler comes out carrying his duck.)
Monica: (looking out window) Oh, god help us.
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
Kim: Hey Rachel, what are you doing out here?
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Robert: Oh God! Here we go again. Why does this keep happening to me? (spreads his legs) Is it something Im putting out there? Is this my fault? Or am I just nuts?
(Rachel comes out from her room wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt)
Chandler: Kip, my old roommate, y'know we all used to hang out together.
Phoebe: Right, yeah, ok, I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there.
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Chandler: Oh yeah? (He grabs the pad and starts reading it.) Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you (Pause) never go out of stylewhat did you throw away?
Ross: Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.
Joey: (coming out of the bathroom) Whats twisted?
Monica: Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Joey: So that if we went out on a date, shed be there.
Joey: All right, now you know that the ATM will only lets you take out 300 at a time, Ill take a check for the other hundred.
Rachel: Look, I cannot do this right now, okay, Ive got a deadline, would you just go home, Ill talk to you later. (storms out)
Emily: Its not the pants. Its you that is backwards. And if, and if you dont understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldnt get married at all! (She storms out.)
Monica: God! If youre gonna cry about it! (She grabs the box and goes to through it out.]
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
[Scene: The apartment in the listing, the guys are checking it out. There's one problem though, it's roughly the size of this computer screen. As they enter Joey lets out a whistle.]