words in movies
[Scene: Rosss bedroom; Ross and Emily are making out. Ross as a new feature.]
Ross: Oh no. Dont, dont, dont start packing. Come on! (She puts some clothes into her bag, and Ross throws them out.)
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
Ross: Look guys, when Im with her its-its-its like she brings this-this-this great side out of me. I mean I-I-I love her, yknow?
Phoebe: Yeah! Here! (She grabs a deck out of her purse) Oh no, these are the trick deck. Okay. Here yes. Okay.
Phoebe: I dont know. Ooh! Ooh! Look it! (She fans out the trick deck.) Ah-ha!
Ross: Come here, come here. Uh, (He takes the earring out.) ow! Emily, will you marry me?
Joey: Monica and Rachel made out. (Giggles like a schoolboy and Monica glares at him.)
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Rachel: No! That's OK! That's OK! That's OK! No no no no! This is my business associate Gavin. He's just being silly.Gavin come out from behind that curtain!
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
All: Yeah, get out! Now!
Rachel: Theres been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that Im not free tonight. So
(Chandler goes out into the hall and lights up a cigarette.)
Monica: Because! You could get to live out my fantasy!
Phoebe: How could it not be? I mean pretty soon theyre gonna be having kids, and then theyre just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe theyre gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.
(They go out to the elevators.)
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Rachel: (To Ross) Fine! (To the salesman) We went out.
(Rachel pushes on the couch and pushes Ross out the door.)
Chandler: Ahhhhh! (walks out, imitating shooting himself in the head)
Ross: Oh yeah, we're uh, yeah we're not together. (He starts backing out of the store.)
[they pull out the box of condoms but there's only one left]
Doug: Now get on out of here, you! (smacks him on the butt)
Ross: No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. Its how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Phoebe: Wow! I didn't see that coming! You're-you're asking me out!
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, I'd like to go out with you officer
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Ross: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)
Ross: I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt!
Phoebe: Well, same thing we did all day, hang out at Gary's apartment. He is so amazing, we never left the bedroom. But have fun at the movie.
Ross: No, I cant get it out.
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Monica: Yeah. I think you have to draw him out. And then- when you do- he's a preppy animal.
Phoebe: Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries...
(They all start out.)
Chandler: Y'know what I just realized? You just freaked out about our relationship.
Joey: (Jumping out of his way) See ya!! (To the girls.) What the hell was that?!
Chandler: Y'know, I uh.. just thought I'd throw this out here. I'm no math whiz, but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here. (Makes kiss noise)
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Kim: Yeah. That didn't work out.
Chandler: All right, theres a nuclear holocaust, Im the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?
(As they approach the door, Chandler comes out carrying his duck.)
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
Monica: (looking out window) Oh, god help us.
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
(Rachel comes out from her room wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt)
Kim: Hey Rachel, what are you doing out here?
Robert: Oh God! Here we go again. Why does this keep happening to me? (spreads his legs) Is it something Im putting out there? Is this my fault? Or am I just nuts?
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
Phoebe: Right, yeah, ok, I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault.
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there.
Chandler: Kip, my old roommate, y'know we all used to hang out together.
Chandler: Oh yeah? (He grabs the pad and starts reading it.) Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you (Pause) never go out of stylewhat did you throw away?
Ross: Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.
Joey: (coming out of the bathroom) Whats twisted?
Monica: Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
Joey: So that if we went out on a date, shed be there.
Joey: All right, now you know that the ATM will only lets you take out 300 at a time, Ill take a check for the other hundred.
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Emily: Its not the pants. Its you that is backwards. And if, and if you dont understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldnt get married at all! (She storms out.)
Monica: God! If youre gonna cry about it! (She grabs the box and goes to through it out.]
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Rachel: (Running back out the door with her passport.) Bye, Pheebs.
[Scene: The apartment in the listing, the guys are checking it out. There's one problem though, it's roughly the size of this computer screen. As they enter Joey lets out a whistle.]
Rachel: Look, I cannot do this right now, okay, Ive got a deadline, would you just go home, Ill talk to you later. (storms out)
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Rachel: No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else?
Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?
Phoebe: (jumps in front of Rachel) Hi! Oh yeah, uh-huh, it's me. I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Joey: Get out your checkbook, mister.
Monica: (from her bedroom) Okay! Ill be right out. Im slipping into something a little less comfortable, and a little more slutty.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
Kara: (out of breath and mouths) I'm not all right.
(Brenda bends down to use the dustpan and Monica leans over to look for the stain, but leans so far over she falls out of the chair.)
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
(The guys hotel room. Joeys there. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Joey: See ya! (Walks out.)
Joey: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didnt think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!
Joey: You wanna eat? (Pulls out the twenty) My treat!
Rachel: Phoebe? (She turns her head further away.) I'm sorry about the whole lifting out thing. (Moves over next to her.) You gotta come with me!
Joey: Get out!!
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Rachel: Mon, honey youre not dying. Im just moving out. Yknow, I mean were gonna see each other all the time.
Phoebe: Wow! You really go all out when youre expecting company.
Chandler: (entering from his room carrying a fire extinguisher and wearing oven mitts) Oh yeah, it's great! See you take a tennis ball, a bowl, and some lighter fluidOp! Op! (He puts out a small fire which has re-ignited in his room.)
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Joey: Uh, hang out?! How long?
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Monica: (overhearing that) Why don't you just go out with her!
The Dry Cleaner: Thats my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and Im betting hes not saying pleasant things about him.)
Chandler: (talking out of the side of his mouth) I'm not mad.
JOEY: Isn't it? And it's engraved too, check it out.
Phoebe: Ooh, uh (She grabs her coat and runs out.)
Chandler: Come on! Gary's such a great guy! Whatever the problem is, you can work it out!
Monica: Wouldn't kick her out of bed. No more Vodka for me! (put her glass down)
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.
CHANDLER: That's a good plan, Joe. Next time we wanna pick up women, we should just go to the park and make out. Taxi, taxi!