words in movies
Joey: Yeah, the other day I was at the bus-stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs. (Note: Actually, I think every guy is thankful for thongs. That and spandex. J )
Joey: Oh, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out!
Chandler: It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
Joey: Look. (He walks out of the bathroom with his head stuck in a huge turkey.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!
(They both pull but Joey slips out and starts to fall backwards just as Chandler enters, scaring him.)
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
(Ross points out Rachel to Chandler and goes over to talk to her. Rachel is checking out her nose in her compact mirror.)
Big Nosed Rachel: Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson. I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs!
Fat Monica: I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.
Ross: So Im thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week.
Chandler: Right on! Oh! Uh, but, dont take to long okay? 'Cause uh, we're gonna test out our fake ID's tonight, right Clifford Alverez.
Ross: Listen, Roland Chang, if things go well, Im gonna be out with her all night.
(Upon hearing this, Monica starts to break down and storms out. Only to be stopped by her parents.)
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
Rachel: No, God! Please, let me! (Runs out.)
Monica: And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him!
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Chandler: Yeah, well, I miss the tip! It's the best part. It has the nail. (He storms out.)
Monica: Chandler! (Follows him out.)
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
French Phoebe: Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! (A shell explodes outside next to the tent and when the smoke clears, Phoebe still has her arm.) Whew! (Her arm falls off and starts pumping out blood.) This is getting ridiculous uh!
Joey: Ohh, get these things out of me!
Monica: When Mom and Dad drove you to the hospital to get your nose fixed, I swam into the lake and fished it out.
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
Monica: Oh my God, are you out of a job?
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Monica: Come on! (The girls all run out and Joey holds up Chandler by smiling.)
Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Monica: Have you ever taken out the trash? (Hands her the garbage.)
Monica: Oh my God! Hes gonna rat me out!
JOEY: Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got.
Joey: But it's dark out.
Monica: No, she's out shopping.
Gunther: Well, I wouldnt call her a star, but shes really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget.
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
Chandler: Oh-no, yknow with Gandolf wed be out all night!
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Ross: Ah Ah Get out of here! (The couple retreats. Ross starts looking through the previously mentioned book as a beautiful woman walks into the section.) Uh, meeting someone? Or-or are you just here to brush up on Marions views on evolution?
(In the meantime, Rachel has returned with the perfume and sprays a mist out in front of Phoebe who walks through the mist and does a little spin.)
Monica: (getting out) No, Rachel never pees in public restrooms.
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
Joey: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
Chandler: What?! (Monica kicks him in the shin.) Ow! (He gets out of bed and heads into the living room.)
Ross: Emily's cousin kicked me out!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Susie are making out on the couch.]
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!
Phoebe: (shocked) Youve never asked a guy out?!!
CHANDLER: Guys guys, check this out.
Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I cant figure this out! Its so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or aah-ah! Paper cut!
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is stressing out about something.]
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
(The single light flickers and goes out. Leaving the room in total darkness.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
Monica: Umm, listen I am sorry, but Ill put some out first thing in the morning.
Cynthia: No, we just went out.
Monica: We got out pictures back from London. (Shows her one.) Here's all of us at the Tower of London.
Cynthia: God, this was really fun! I've been wondering if you were going to ask me out.
Ross: (whispering in her ear) Oh, thats right! He called to ask out Monica! That-thats gotta be embarrassing!
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
Ross: (in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)
Monica: Well, I want he baby to come out all cute and fat!
Joey: All right, all right. (he comes out from their apartment with a huge sandwich in his hand)
(They wait for Joey to go into his room and close the door and then start making out again.)
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
Phoebe: Wait, you can't take the money out.
(The man starts to take some change out.)
Ross: (To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Rachel: So did I. I'm really glad Monica asked us out.
Rachel: (Running to the ticket counter) Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. (Slightly out of breath) Hi.
tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)
Joey: Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)
Chandler: Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Joey: Monica and Rachel made out. (Giggles like a schoolboy and Monica glares at him.)
Joey: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
[The next clip is from The One Where Ross Finds Out.]
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Chandler: Okay! Now you stay out here, and you think about what you did!!
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
(Joey busts out laughing.)
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
(The wool-bound trio returns to the table. Rachel has to rush ahead to avoid becoming tangled. Joey brings the shopping bag over to Phoebe, and takes out a nice cardigan.)
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Chandler: Oh come on!! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: Oh, fine! Take his side! (Storms out.)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Gavin: You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be arodeo clown.
(Monica picks up one of those boxes of hair curling things, dumps it in a box, and storms out.)
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
MNCA: Oh, he's sober alright. Just turns out that Fun Bobby was fun for a reason.
Monica: All right, check me out.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Okay, Im sorry. (Runs out still carrying the pizza box.)
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
Joey: Nooo, later. (Walks out the door.)
Chandler: Just coffee! Where are we gonna hang out now?
Melissa: Im sorry Ray-ray. I mean if I thought it happened I would say it. Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping.
Ross: Just, y'know out.
Rachel: Ohh, out, oh God, I don't know why we didn't think to check there!
Chandler: Okay y'know what, because you said that, I'm not putting out tonight.
Ross: Yeah, Im-Im sure. (Deadpan) Yeah, get out of here before I change my mind. (She exits)
(Rachel decides not to confront them and starts to walk out, knocking over a lamp in the process.)
Dina: Do you ever worry that youll be walking and your baby will just like slip out?
Ross: Oh, we were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions.
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry. (Burst into song and dances out of the door.) "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."
Phoebe: Okay. Okay. IOkay umm this I-I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you. Umm yknow, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than Im coming off right now.
Joey: Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, "Oh thats okay. Youll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you!
Joey: Well (taking his cell phone out of a pocket) I’m wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this.
Monica: No. You know, sometimes just things doesn't work out.